Fifty Shades - A New Light
by Aprilxoxox
Summary: Ana's left. She's trying to deal with the break up with Christian. How will she handle that. Will she go back to him or will she move forward trying not to look back and wonder "what if"? Could someone else make her feel as loved and cherished as she wanted Christian to make her feel?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: OK this is my first fanfic. Been thinking about this for awhile. Any and all reviews are welcome. Sorry for any typos or spelling errors. All credit where its due, EL James.**

So its been a week since that awful incident at Escala with Christian. I can't believe that I asked him to show me how bad it could be. I just never realized that it would be _that_ bad! I know now that I can't be with someone that enjoys hurting others that much but I over the past week I've come to realize that I spoke no truer words to him than when I told him that I loved him. He's contacted me a few times, sending flowers my first day of work, he's sent me emails (I deleted them without reading them, my heart just wouldn't let me look to see what he said), he even sent Taylor over one day with food! UGH he can be so exacerbating. I am doing my best to ignore him so that my heart can heal. It's so new and fresh, this pain that I feel, but as long as I can keep occupied I think that I'll be able to put Christian Grey behind me. I know you always remember your first love and I do want to remember parts of us. Like Georgia and soaring with him. But the hurt and self preservation win right now. So I have made the decision not to think about him - as much as that's possible.

I started my new job at SIP which I love! Not only am I doing what I wanted to do with my career and learning a lot to be able to further my aspirations of actually being an editor/writer one day but from 8 am to 6 pm Monday through Friday I actually have a reason _NOT_ to think of Christian Grey! My boss Jack Hyde has been really patient with me and has been showing me the ropes of the editing process, even if I think that he might be a little creepy and overly friendly on occasion. But I can deal with that, I will continue to do my job well and prove that he wasn't wrong in hiring me straight out of college with no real work experience other than Clayton's Hardware.

Kate is due back from Barbados tonight. She sent me a text asking if I could pick her up from the airport as Elliot, her boyfriend and Christian's brother, had to take an earlier flight home. I'm so happy that she is coming home. I've needed Kate more this past week than I can remember. My best friend is fiercely loyal and protective of me but I just needed to talk to her. I haven't talked to her yet about me and Christian. It's hard because of that damn NDA is signed and well with her dating Elliot I don't want to cause her any problems with her relationship. And I know her cutting off Christian's balls and serving them to him on a silver platter would seriously piss Elliot off! But I also know that I will have to deal with the Katherine Kavanaugh Inquisition soon and I'm gonna have to be prepared.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OK this is my first fanfic. Been thinking about this for awhile. Any and all reviews are welcome. Sorry for any typos or spelling errors. All credit where its due, EL James.**

***************

I'm at the airport patiently awaiting Kate's arrival. She should be off loading from the plane heading here to baggage claim. She comes around the corner and I when I see her for some reason I am instantly jealous. Kate looks like a strawberry blonde version of Barbi. Tall, curves in all the right places, stylish and after 2 weeks in Barbados extremely tan. But what I am most jealous about isn't her looks or her money, its her confidence. She knows that she is smart and gorgeous and she has the ability to figure just about anything out be the outcome good or bad. She tenacious, knows what she wants and goes after it with everything she has. I would like to have just an iota of that strength. But then again I have her as my best friend and I have always been able to lean on her for some of that strength if I needed to. Aw hell, she's spotted me and her eyes have narrowed... Guess its time to deal with the Katerine Kavanaugh Inquisition now. I kinda wanted to at least get home before it hit!

"Steele!" Kate gets to me and throws her arms around my shoulders giving me a hug.

"Hey, Kate! How was your trip?" Returning her hug.

"Sex and sun! Wonderful. But we can talk about that later. I have to say Ana, you look like hell!" Kate observes as she steps back and looks me up and down. She can't see much, I'm in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I didn't want her to notice that I've lost a good ten pounds or so. Which I don't think that I really could afford to loose but every time I even try to eat anything more than a yogurt or a banana my stomach turns like I'm gonna be sick.

"Let's go get your luggage Kate." Giving me what would be considered and evil eye she agrees.

"Fine, but Ana I want to know why you look like hell ran over you. Has Mr. Moneybags done something? How is he anyway?"

"You look great by the way, the tropical climate really agrees with you." I say trying to deflect her questions. I really don't want to talk about Christian. I know I will have to give her something but right now I just can't, not here.

"Thanks. We had an amazing vacation. You and I are gonna have to do a girl's trip or something get you some sun too. But that doesn't answer my questions, Steele. What's going on? Everything ok with you and moneybags?" She asks as she grabs her fourth and final bag and starts heading for the parking garage.

"Kate, can we just talk about it later. Not now, maybe when we get home?"

"Sure, Steele, sure. But before bed tonight you will talk to me. I'm worried. I've never seen you look this bad. You've lost weight and your face is all blotchy, like you've been crying."

The drive home was quiet. I had 25 minutes to figure out what I was gonna say to her so that she doesn't go all murderous on me. I can't tell her what he did. I can't tell her I asked him to. I can't tell her what he's really like. That he likes and gets off on hurting the person that he's with. I should have known. He warned me. He said that I should stay away. I just couldn't. It was like I needed him. I needed to feel like I was as beautiful in real life as he made me feel. I was drawn to him like no one else. He made my body feel things that I never imagined and he made me feel like he thought I was the most beautiful, captivating woman that he'd ever met. I know it was wishful thinking on my part but that's how I felt. Well, outside of the Red Room of Pain anyway.

Once we got home to the apartment I helped Kate with her bags and she went straight to the fidge and pulled out a bottle of wine, poured two glasses handed me one and sat on the couch, "Spill Steele. Tell me what's going on. Why do you look like hell?"

I took a sip of my wine, set the glass on the coffee table and just looked at her wondering what I'm gonna say. Sitting next to my best friend with my heart breaking and not being able to tell her the truth was more than I could handle and I just broke down in tears. Crying hard Kate just wrapped her arms around me and held me like I was a baby knowing that I just needed to be soothed at that moment. All she could say is "Oh honey, everythings going to be ok." Rubbing my back as I cried. It was almost cathartic this letting loose with someone that really knows me. Someone that loves me someone that cares about me and how I'm feeling.

Finally, after my hysterical crying ebbed I just looked at her and said that Christian and I broke up. That we won't be seeing each other anymore and that I really didn't want to discuss the why's about it. Just that we couldn't make it work.

"That's bullshit Steele. You cared about that man, probably more than you realize. I mean I don't know why, but you did. Now tell me what happened."

"Kate, really I don't want to discuss this all night. I just knew that it wasn't going to work. We come from different worlds. We're in different places in our lives. It just wasn't going to work so I ended it. End of story. Let's leave it at that. I'm going to head to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Kate just looked at me opened mouth and nodded, "Ok in the morning Steele. Get some rest. We'll do something fun tomorrow, just you and I something to get your mind off of moneybags, Ok?"

"Ok Kate, good night."

I went into my bedroom, got ready for bed knowing sleep wouldn't come. The only time I couldn't stop my mind from thinking about Christian was as I was laying in bed trying to sleep. Remembering his eyes, his smiles, seeing him in my dreams. Yeah, sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon and when it did I could guarantee that I knew what I would be dreaming about.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know its taking a little while to get to where I'm heading with this but please just give me some patience. I promise I'll get there. Thank you to everyone that read and followed. All reviews are appreciated and welcomed. Again, credit where it's due…EL James.**

Waking up in a cold sweat after dreaming of those grey eyes, I look at the clock and find that it is only 5:30. I still can't stop my mind from wondering back to him. I need a distraction. So I get up, shower, throw on a comfy pair of running pants (not that I run) and my favorite WSU sweatshirt and head out to get a coffee and wander the city that has become my new home. I haven't had time to do that much since Kate and I moved here. What with being with Christian and now with work. So I after getting a latte, which has grown on me over the last week, I walk and find Elliot Bay Park overlooking Puget Sound. Wandering the path in the park I find a bench, I sit and just look out over the water and find that this helps. Looking out seeing the beauty surrounding me. I sit for awhile just staring and realize that I haven't once thought of anything other than what the water looks like as the sun reflects off of it. This is nice. Being able to just be. Nothing going on in my head. No work. No Christian. No how am I going to get past this. This is nice.

Realizing I've just sat for two hours I decide to head back. Kate should be getting up and I know she'll be worried after last night and my breaking down. Stopping at a little bakery on the way back I grab a couple of bagels – it's the first time that my stomach doesn't flip flop thinking about eating – and head to the apartment.

Kate's just getting up when I get there. She eyes me suspiciously asking what's in the bag. "Breakfast" is all I say handing her the bag. As she puts cream cheese on her bagel she looks at me and says that she thinks some shopping and pampering are on her agenda for the day and insists that I come with her. Shopping is not my thing. I don't like spending hours trying things on but I do need to get some new things for work so I agree.

After spending the better part of the day shopping I have found a few skirts, blouses and two dresses that actually make me look like the old me. The me before Christian. The me that's not too skinny. Kate notices the weight loss but hasn't mentioned anything more about what happened with us. Thankfully. She tells me that Elliot's parents are throwing a fundraiser in two weeks and that he invited her to go. She's really excited and wants me to help her find the perfect dress so that she can "look amazing". I have to remind her that she always looks amazing but she tells me that she wants to be able to give a good impression and represent Elliot well. I've never heard her like this. Usually she is so confident with everything and never really concerned with what others think but she's worried about what Elliot will think. Aww I think my Kate is growing up a little. Taking others feelings into consideration for once, it's a good thought and I hope she continues it. But she is having a hard time finding anything and says that she still has some time to shop giving me a funny look.

Pleading tiredness after my early morning and half the day shopping I head home leaving Kate to finish her shopping or to her "pampering" at the spa. Getting home and putting my purchases away, I realize that Kate's distraction worked. I haven't thought about last week at all. Well not until she brought up going to Elliot's parents' fundraiser. Now home alone set to my own devises my mind starts reeling again with the past events. Everything from falling into Christian's office, to meeting his family, to Georgia – him meeting my mom, the amazing sex, the soaring – then to the Red Room. Always I end up back at the Red Room of Pain and again I end up curled up in a ball in the middle of my bed crying.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I hear are voices in the living room and its pitch black outside my window. I open my bedroom door and hear Kate and Elliot speaking to each other. Oh my God! They are discussing me and Christian! Kate doesn't sound too happy.

"Elliot, you haven't seen her! I want to know what happened while we were away. What your asshole brother did to her. She's not the same girl as when we left! She's always been quiet and reserved but this is different. She won't look at me or anyone for that matter in the eye; she won't speak unless she's directly asked something. She's lost so much weight. She cried last night like there would be no tomorrow and when I got home today, she was crying again. I've never and I mean never Elliot seen her cry in the four years that I've known her. Something's off and she won't open up to me. Have you spoken to him? Has he said anything?"

"Kate, look my brother's always been very private. He doesn't share much, never has. I doubt he'll feel like sharing about Ana especially to me."

"UGH! She won't open up to me. I'm going to have to do something. I can't just sit here and watch her like this."

"Baby, leave it. They'll figure it out"

Kate said something but I can't listen any more. I gently closed my bedroom door and lay back down. Its going to be a long night. Picking up a book to read, something to keep my mind busy so I don't think about those grey eyes and that coopery hair that I love to run my fingers through I set about trying to distract my ever running brain.

Sunday morning Kate surprises me in her PJ's and says that we are having a movie day. Asking me what I want to watch. Curling up on the couch we spend the whole day watching action movies. Not my or Kate's thing but anything that is going to keep my mind off of Christian, so no drama or romance. I couldn't even make it through _Something about Mary_. To watch someone follow their love though time, as they got older, yeah one of my favorite comedies and it just made me cry more! Kate ordered pizza for lunch and chinese food for dinner so that we didn't have to get dressed. God it was just like when she wore her pink bunny pjs after her breakups, but this time it was about me.

I was actually looking forward to work tomorrow. For the distraction if nothing else. My boss is still giving off weird vibes but at least I'll have something else to think about.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for all your patience while I get to where I'm heading with this. Trust me it does get better. I know its short but I wanted to get something out to you that gets closer to where I'm heading with this. Again a HUGE Thank you to everyone that read and followed. Please take a minute to review as all reviews are appreciated and welcomed. Again, credit where it's due…EL James.**

****************

Monday morning rolls around and I've made it though the weekend. Thank goodness for Kate and her distraction techniques. I head into work and there's alot of hushed whispering going on. Everywhere I look people are standing talking. I don't know but I don't want to get into any office gossip. You start listening and talking about other people and at some point those people start listening and talking about you. And I so didn't need anymore drama.

Jack has given me a couple of manuscripts to read, review and summarize the first chapters of as he is going to be in meetings most of the day. Around noon, my email pings and I see a message from Kate. She wants to meet at the deli around the corner for lunch. Jack isn't back yet but I email her back telling her that I can meet her there in thirty minutes.

Kate's already at the deli when I get there and notice that she has already ordered for both of us. Ugh, I really still don't feel like eating but I guess I will try. The chicken ceaser salad does look good. Standing up, greeting me, "Hey, Steele. How's your day going so far?"

"Busy. Somethings going on at the office but you know me I'm just working around it all. Trying not to get involved in all the office gossip/drama." I say taking a forkful of salad. Kate's smiling looking like she's going to bounce out of her seat so I ask her how her morning when at her new job at the Seattle Times.

"It's great. I have an interview planned for Saturday afternoon that I have to do." Smirking at me.

Ok, my curiousity is up now. "On Saturday? That's odd isn't it?" She responded, "Normally that it would be but that the man that I'm going to interview has been out of town and is due back Friday and his office was willing to let me do the interview but only if I could get come to him and it had to be Saturday because he will be leaving town again on Monday afternoon for a short vacation."

"Ahhh so that's ..." Kate interrupts "I have to do the interview in New York! and guess what Ana. Your coming with me!" "What? Kate I can't come with you. I have work."

"Come on Ana. You need a break, a change of scenery even if its for the weekend. Besides I've already bought the tickets and maybe after the interview we can do some shopping for that dress I'm going to need for Elliot's parents fundraiser? Please Ana."

Laughing at her puppy dog eyes I reluctantly agree. So I guess I'm going to be heading to New York.

Getting back into the office I find Jack is back but holed up in his office. Door shut. So I finish up the summary on the last manuscript that he gave me this morning along with some information regarding a brouchure that he wanted me to put together. At 5 I knock on Jack's office door with the manuscripts and the draft brouchure for him to review "Yes" he barks. Oh well that doesn't sound good. Opening the door "Jack, I just wanted to give you the manuscript summaries and the draft brouchure for your approval." "Oh Ana, you finished all of it? That's wonderful. Sorry I've been so busy today but there are some things that have to be done before the end of the week and upper management isn't telling why quarterly work has to be compiled so early. Put the everything there in that chair and you can go ahead and leave for the day. Thank you." "Ok Jack. Thanks. Have a good evening."

The rest of the week is pretty much the same. Jack's been in a bad mood but I am just attributing that to getting all the quarterly reports gathered early. So I have been keeping up with his authors (as much as I can) and reviewing the manuscripts that come in daily. Kate has been talking non stop about New York. She wants to go to Bergdoff's to hopefully find a dress and she's excited about her interview. She told me that it was with another young CEO that has made a rather large name for himself in New York and Las Vegas. But has been looking to branch out onto the west coast here in Seattle. All I could think was _Oh God not again, she better not get sick because I so won't fill in for her!_

Our flight leaves at 2:30 am on Saturday morning. Kate wanted to get to New York, get checked in at the hotel and freshen up before her 2:00 interview. Then we'll be free to do some shopping for that dress.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this took awhile to get put up, but I just haven't had a whole lotta time with real life and all. :) Thank you to everyone that read and followed. Please take a minute to review as all reviews are appreciated and welcomed. Again, I do not own the characters.**

Our flight landed in New York at 10:30 a.m. and we headed over to Hotel Blue. Kate was super excited about staying here. Evidentally it is an upscale rather trendy hotel near Chelsea Market in the Meatpacking District. We're in a penthouse suite. And I have to say it's beautiful. Modern design to the entire suite. Lots of color on the walls but the furniture is all white. There's a small kitchen, a living space with couches and a round dining table. Each bedroom has its own bath that could rival any that you'd find in a spa. "Wow! Kate this is a gorgeous room! But I thought that the paper was paying for the trip out here. This can't be a room that the paper would put you up in."

"Oh, it's not. I told Daddy that I was bringing you out with me because you needed to get away for a few days. He told me to upgrade anything I saw fit. Soooooo..." she says laughing. "I upgraded the hotel and the room. Don't worry though, I did let him know what I was doing before I did it!" she added as I just scowled at her. And according to her this hotel there'll be lots for me to do while she's at her interview and then near enough that we can still get some shopping done for her dress for the fundraiser.

While she is getting ready for her interview I am trying to get some rest but everytime I close my eyes all I see are his sad grey eyes as I walked out his door. I knew I wasn't going to get any sleep and try as I might to get him out of my head, especially as I am in a differant city with plenty of things to explore, I decide that's what I'm going to do. Explore the surrounding area.

"Kate, I'm going to head out. See what's around so that we'll know when you're ready if there is anything around here that will work for finding that dress you need or if we'll need to head somewhere else in the city," I call out to her as I head out.

"Ok, make sure you have your phone. I'll call you when I'm done and we'll meet up!" She yells as she's getting out of the shower.

Heading out of the hotel I just wander though the Meatpacking District. There's so much here. It's so strange there's so much going on. Totally differant from Seattle. There's butchers and resturants, shops and clubs. I found a couple of stores that Kate could explore for a dress, there's Stella McCartney, Jeffrey, Alexander McQueen, Yigal Azrouel, and Carlos Miele. But if I know her we'll still end up in Bergdoff's tomorrow before our flight home. I chuckle to myself at that. God I love her, she's the best friend/sister anyone could have but I hate to shop and she loves dragging me along!

I eventually make it to Chelsea Market and the smells are amazing. I think a coffee will do. So I find a coffee shop and a book store! I'm amazed. Everything is here. Walking out of the book store after finding a book to read about the city I decide to find a park. I want to see if looking out over the skyline of Manhattan will give me the same peace that Elliot Bay Park gave me in Seattle. I need my mind to just not think anymore about cooper hair and grey eyes. Looking down as I walk out of the bookstore fiddling the book and taking a sip of coffee at the same time. I run into something hard and loose my balance. Once again I find myself on the floor. UGH! Clumsy Ana makes another appearance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you" I say standing up with the help of the man I just literally bumped into. He reaches down to help me up, and bends for the book. Looking at him as he hands it to me. I notice that he's a very attactive man. Dark eyes, dark hair, olive complexion. Lean but built well. Answering me he says, "No worries bellissima." Oh my, an Italian accent. "My name is Arnoldo Ricci."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I hope you like this. Please take a minute to review as all reviews are appreciated and welcomed. Again, I do not own the characters.**

**********

"I'm Ana," it's all I can manage to say as I take the book from him. "Sorry, Anastasia Steele," taking the book, "thank you."

"You're very welcome. Where are you from?"

"Huh?"

"The book. About what you should do or see in the city. Where are you from?"

"Oh," I giggle nervously. This man has me a little speechless. I don't understand why. He's attractive, but its not to the extreme the way Christian is. He obviously takes care of his body. His eyes are a beautiful chocolate brown with flecks of green on the edges, but they're kind eyes. But I think what I like the most is his dazzling smile. One side of his mouth goes up with a dimple showing and the other just slants up. Hmmm, just the one dimple. Adorable! He's still waiting for me to answer. Shit. "Sorry. No. I'm not from here. Visiting for the weekend with my friend Kate. We're from Seattle."

Picking up my now empty coffee cup to put in the trash Arnoldo asks me if he can get me another being as mine ended up on the floor. My I love that accent! His smile may be gorgeous but his accent, well hell that's just sexy. I decline his offer of coffee saying that I really just wanted to find a park that had a good view besides I'm not really a big coffee fan but it has helped in these few past Christian-less weeks since I left him.

"Ah, if you'll allow me? I know of a park close by and would be happy to show you," he says looking at me with apprehension. Raising my eyebrows with a questioning look in my own eyes. "Oh I don't want to take you away from whatever you have going on right now but if you could just tell me the general direction of the park I'm sure I can find it." Its the first time I noticed that he had several plastic shopping bags in his hand filled with fresh produce. "You would not be taking me away from anything Ana. I have finished my shopping and was leaving anyway. The park is on my way. I'll be happy to show you."

I don't want to be suspicious of him. But everything tells me this in New York and sometimes people are just not what they seem. Especially in a city this size. But I'm not getting any bad vibes from him and he is rather cute and it would be nice to have someone that knows the area showing me rather than walking aimlessly looking for something. He tells me that the park he wants to show me to is usually pretty crowded but that it has spectacular views of the city. It's not a traditional park as it was built on an historic freight rail line elevated above the streets. He says that at one spot you walk through a building and that there are other places you can watch the street life unfold below through large glass viewing areas. There's a water feature and grassy areas too. Now I'm curious about this above ground park and agree to let him show me.

We walked about 3 blocks and come upon the entrance to the park. He wasn't kidding it is above ground! Looking out at the city my first impression was "Wow, this is amazing!"

"Yes, it is. I found this soon after I came to New York. I wanted somewhere peaceful to just sit and think and work out the days problems, to reflect on the wonders of things, to simply just be in a space that I could find relaxing." I smiled at him. I knew what that feeling was like. Hadn't I just recently found that at Elliot Bay Park in Seattle. A place to just reflect and relax; to let the problems leave my mind for the some time.

We luckily found a recently vacated bench looking over the city. The view was just as awe inspiring as the peaceful tranquility I found in Seattle. We sat for a few minutes. Him allowing me to just take in what I was seeing. Then we started talking about basic things. He told me he moved to New York when he was 24 from Gela, Sicily. I small town on the southern shore of the island and that his parents and a sister still lived there; but that both his brothers and a sister lived here in the United States though not in New York. I told him that I had just recently graduated college and was working as an assistant editor for a publishing house. Before we could get any further my phone rang. It was Kate. I answered. "Hello."

"Steele! I'm all done and heading back to the hotel. It's four o'clock. Meet me back there and we can head out. Did you find any boutiques that would be worth checking out before heading to Bergdoff's?"

"Yeah, I did. I'll meet you back there shortly." God she can be demanding. Turning to Arnoldo, I explain that my friend was finishing up with her appointment and that I needed to head back to the hotel to meet her for shopping and dinner. Arnoldo asks, "I have had a rather enjoyable afternoon Ana. Please, you and your friend do me the honor of dining with me this evening. 8 o'clock? Tableau One?" I agreed.

Getting back to the hotel, I ask Kate how her interview went. She told me that the interview was good. That she'd been able to get everything that she wanted but when she asked about family she was firmly shut down and knows there is a story there. _My goodness, Kate could find a story anywhere._ I told her some people just like to keep their private lives private. She then asked about my day; what kind of stores i found that I thought would work for her to find a dress on my excursion to explore the surrounding area today. And of course she vetoed at least two stores.

"Oh and Kate. We were invited to dinner tonight too," I inform her.

"What? By who Steele. We don't know anyone here?"

I tell her about bumping into Arnoldo this afternoon and about how he played tour guide for me for a little bit. Laughing Kate says, "See I told you that you just needed a break from Seattle Steele! In a new city less then 3 hours and already you meet a new guy!"

"Its not like that Kate!"

"Sure Steele. Sure," laughing Kate asks "So where are we eating dinner?"

"Arnoldo said 8 o'clock at Tableau One. Have you heard of it?"

Jumping up and down, "Umm YES! Its supposed to be a wonderful new hot fusion bistro. I tried to get us reservations but they are booked out 6 months in advance! How the hell is he gonna get us in on this short a notice?"

"I don't know but that's what he said. So we'll go, if we don't get in or they don't have room for us we can always go somewhere else. Now, lets go find you a dress for that fundraiser"

After going into about three boutiques, Kate finds a beautiful orange crepe halter-neck dress with crystal embellished tube necklace detail dress from Alexander McQueen but still insists on going to Bergdoff's in the morning for shoes and accessories.

We have just enough time to get back to the hotel, change and make it over to Tableau One. Kate changes into a pair of white skinny jeans, and an cream sequined tank with a blazer over it and a pair of nude heels. I go for a pair of navy high waist silk shorts, a blue and white stripped silk top with a red patent leather belt and red patent leather heels. Not something that I would have worn before I met Christian but I have to say that I found a love for how long my legs look in heels since meeting him. My hair is in a side pony tail over my left shoulder and with light makeup I am ready to go.

"Wow. Steele, you look amazing. I can't believe how much your fashion sense has changed recently. But I have to say that I like it." Laughing with her I agree and complement her as well. Kate though, never looks bad.

Getting to Tableau One, we give my name and are immediately escorted to a booth. It could easily seat six and it looks to be one of the best in the place. Overlooking the entire restaurant. Kate and I just look at each other trying to figure out how we ended up getting what seems to be the VIP treatment.

Our waiter greets us and asks us what we would like to drink. "Sancerre." Says a gorgeous man in a three piece suit as he sits down beside me and Kate's mouth drops open.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Hope ya'll enjoy this Chapter. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I don't think that I have ever seen Kate speechless. But the look on her face is that of utter surprise. "Mr. Cross," is all she manages to get out. I look over at the man sitting next to me and realize this is the man that she interviewed this afternoon. The God sitting next to me just looks at her with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Finally gaining some composure, Kate adds, "It's nice to see you again so soon. What are you doing here?"

"I was having a drink and saw two beautiful women walk in, get seated immediately and wanted to say hello." Turning to look at me, giving me a huge megawatt smile and said, "Hello, I'm Gideon Cross and you are?" I just sat there looking from this man that oozed sex to Kate. Thankfully she jumped right in, "Mr. Cross, this is my friend Ana. Ana, this is the gentleman I interviewed today, Gideon Cross." Finding my voice, "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Cross."

"Please call me Gideon," he says to me and Kate mouths, "Seriously," looking at me. "Well Gideon, it's nice to meet you but we are meeting someone for dinner if you don't mind." I don't know how I had the courage to form the words to practically dismiss the man. He did actually ooze sex from his pores. He was easily a foot taller than me with shoulder length black hair and the most piercing blue eyes. He was built too. Like really built. You could tell he definitely took care of his body under that three piece suit.

"I imagine you would be being as you're sitting in the owners booth," he said as he looks at me; letting his eyes roam over my face and chest. "This booth is generally never occupied unless one of the owners invites someone." Both my eyes and Kate's widen just slightly. Kate piques in and says "Well Mr. Cross, being as we were invited by a friend of Ana's that would explain why we are here." "KATE!" I'm floored that she is being so rude. Didn't she just spend two hours interviewing this man for her article? She said the interview went fine and didn't give any reason as to why she would be impolite to him if she saw him out in public.

"Mr. Cross," he looks at me with a raised eyebrow, "sorry Gideon, if you would give Kate and me a moment please? Then do come back and join us for a drink at the very least."

"Certainly Ana. I see someone I need to speak with heading this direction anyway. But I will gladly take you up on that offer of a drink in a few minutes. The wine I ordered should be here by then anyway," he says smiling at me and then he gracefully stands and walks away from the table.

"Kate, what was that about?"

"Ana, he was looking at you like a piece of meat!"

"No. He was just glanced at me and he was being nothing if not polite."

"The look on his face well it just reminded me a bit of when Mr. Moneybags and you first started seeing each other. Like he wanted to consume you and not the lobster bisque!"

"Well leave him alone. He isn't doing anything inappropriate!" But I felt like she had just slapped me back into reality. My faced dropped. I realized that tonight was the first time that I had thought about Christian almost since we had arrived in New York. And it wasn't even because I thought about him but because Kate had to bring him up! I think my face must show exactly what I am feeling because Kate scoots over the bench and wraps her arms around my shoulders and apologizes like crazy for reminding me of why I am here in New York with her now. Blinking back tears because I refuse to ruin the night, I let her know that it's alright.

I look up scanning the crowd, Arnoldo should be here by now. Seeing him I smile and wave and realize that he's talking to Gideon. They both head over to us. Smiling, I stand and Arnoldo kisses both my cheeks. "Ana! Darling you look amazing," he says "Sit, Sit," he says as he sits down next to Kate and waiving his hand for Gideon to sit next to me. "You must be Ana's friend, Kate correct? I am Arnoldo. I'm glad you could join me for dinner ladies."

"Yes, I'm Kate. It's a pleasure Arnoldo. It seems you were able to keep Ana occupied this afternoon. I was too busy interviewing Mr. Cross here to show her around much."

"Oh it was my pleasure. I rather enjoyed my relaxing afternoon. It's been awhile. So it seems that you, Kate anyway, know Gideon Cross. Ana, may I introduce you?"

At that moment the waiter comes back with a bottle of Sancerre and four glasses. He pours a little for Gideon who merely nods his acceptance before the waiter pours us each a glass.

Smiling at Arnoldo I inform him that Gideon and I have already been introduced and ask how they know each other. Arnoldo tells me that he and Gideon own the restaurant together and have been friends for since Arnoldo came to the U.S.

Gideon does in fact smirk at Kate just a bit at that comment but by the time our orders are taken and brought we are all four talking as if we had been friends for years! It was a wonderful night. Who knew that Kate would be right and getting out of Seattle was just what I needed to remind me of how to be me? The guys told stories of when Arnoldo first arrived here and started working for Gideon as a personal chef and how they became friends. They seemed to get along like brothers. Kate and I told them some of our stories from college. It was just a light hearted evening with friends and it felt wonderful.

As dinner was over and we were finishing our drinks someone came over to the table and asked Arnoldo if he could have a picture for an article that was coming up regarding the restaurant. Looking to Kate and me, we both said fine. The photographer asked that we all press together to get in the frame. So Gideon pressed into me and Arnoldo leaned into Kate effectively sandwiching us between them. Gideon wrapped his arm around me and kissed my cheek quickly then turned and smiled just as the camera took his shot. Smiling and thanking all of us, the photograph hurried away.

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what, Ana?" Smirking at me with sparkling eyes. I raise my eyebrows at him and he laughs a huge belly laugh and simply says, "I've wanted to kiss you since you walked in that door. And just so you know. I will kiss you properly before the end of the night, Ana. Not just a peck on the cheek." I stare open mouthed at him.

Kate looks at me and mouths "What?" Shaking my head so that she doesn't bother to keep trying to find out what shocked me. I just mull over what Gideon just said. There had been little touches her and there during dinner. They were like shocks of electricity every time. I tried not to think about that too much just because it reminded me of Christian and every time we touched and the serge of electricity that I felt each time. But thinking about it these little shockwaves from Gideon were different. They seemed to linger longer reminding me he was right there next to me. And when he put his arm around me as we squeezed into the booth for the picture, I almost felt safe, secure and … happy. Oh God, not again. I won't let myself feel this much attraction for a man again. I mean especially with a man that lives on the other side of the country for pete's sake!

After dinner, Kate and I try to say good night to Arnoldo and Gideon. I tell Arnoldo how lucky I was to meet him today and that I hoped we kept in touch. As Kate is saying goodbye and good night to Arnoldo, Gideon takes my elbow leans down and says "The night's not over Ana, I believe that we have some unfinished business."

Turning to Kate, who has visibily thawed toward Gideon as the night progressed, he says, "Ladies, it's late and I would feel better if you allowed me to drive you home."

Kate, happy not to have to walk back to the hotel says "Thanks Gideon! That would be much appreciated!"

Walking out of the restaurant, Gideon places his hand on the small of my back. As the doors open for us to leave there are paparazzi everywhere and camera flashes going off. Gideon puts his arm around me, tucking me in from the crowd of paparazzi, shielding me from them. Leaning down to me, he whispers "Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you." I look up at him through my lashes and smile back at him thankfully.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Oh my goodness. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and follows/favorites. I know I haven't been able to respond to all of you but please know that I read every one of the reviews and hope that ya'll know that they are appreciated and help me to give you what I think you may want in the next chapter while still staying with the story that I wanted to write at the same time. I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter as well. **

**Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

There is a rather expensive car right at the curb outside the restaurant with a man opening the door as Kate, Gideon and I approach. As Kate is getting into the car I look up at Gideon and ask him what he meant by his comment that we had unfinished business. He just gives me a small devilish little smile and said that I promised him a drink and he intended to hold me to that promise.

Kate pipes up at that moment, "What the hell was up with all the damn paparazzi everywhere? I feel like we were ambushed."

Gideon responds smoothly, "Unfortunately they are part of my life. It's a price that I pay for being me. Most of the time I can avoid them but since the restaurant opened and has been getting so many great reviews a lot of famous or just socialites go and therefore the paps are there more often then usual."

This seems a plausible explanation but at the same time Kate is right it did seem as if we were ambushed just a bit. I mean there weren't a whole bunch of paparazzi there when we got there so how in three hours time did that many just show up. I respond to his comment with, "the intrusiveness of the paparazzi isn't something people should have to deal with just for being who they are Gideon. You have a right to privacy just as much as any other person of note."

He chuckles, "in a perfect world, Ana. And this isn't a perfect world." I turn my head looking out the window just as I see Kate give me a sympathetic look. God, don't I know it isn't a perfect world. I mean that's why I'm here in New York anyway, right? To get my mind off one Christian Grey and all the wonderful _AND_ hurtful things he made me feel? My mind is a whirlwind of thinking of Christian again, thinking of going home tomorrow, thinking of how I will need to deal with all the baggage that came with being with Christian. This trip to New York has made me feel like myself again. Where I don't have to deal with all the hurt that I have been feeling for the past few weeks, but I know tomorrow I have to go back to my reality. Gideon spoke of the paparazzi being his reality. Well Christian Grey and his aftermath have become mine.

I didn't notice that the car had stopped until the door opened up and Gideon was standing there with his hand out to help me out of the car. "Oh, sorry," I say smiling to him. It's not his fault that I am back into my own head again and I take his hand. "Kate slides out the other door being held by the doorman of the hotel.

"Ana, I'm going to head up. I want to call Elliot before it gets too late. I'll see you upstairs," she says giving me a wink and heading up. Subtle Kavanaugh real subtle.

Walking to the bank of elevators in the lobby with Gideon, I feel his hand on my lower back. This small gesture is both reassuring in its protectiveness but also makes me feel like he is staking a claim as a few men turn to look in our direction as we stroll through the lobby. As we reach the elevators I turn to Gideon, "I guess this is good night. Thank you for helping to make this evening an enjoyable one Gideon."

Pushing a tendril of my hair behind my ear Gideon smirks and says, "Oh, Miss Steele, the evening isn't over yet." At my look of confusion or shock I don't know which because when his fingers touched my ear I felt it again. That charge that I had only felt with Christian. It's surreal. I didn't think that I would feel that again. Definitely not with anyone other than Mr. Grey himself anyway. But Gideon just leans down and says, "I seem to believe you owe me a drink Ana and there is a pretty nice bar on the roof of this hotel."

"Oh, okay, but just one. It's late and Kate and I have an early morning tomorrow before we fly back to Seattle."

Entering the elevator with another couple Gideon guides me to the back letting the other couple stands in front of us. I feel his eyes on me. I look up to see him and see his beautiful blue eyes have darkened and he has smirk on his face. I wonder what that's about. It's hard to read him. He seems pretty good at hiding what he's thinking but for some reason I don't want him hiding his exact thoughts from me. The elevator stops and the other couple get off and as the doors close I feel Gideon's hand slip lower from the small of my back to my ass. He caresses it. I move away from his hand, putting about a foot of space between us. It's strange. This feeling that I get from Gideon. It's so similar to what I felt with Christian but it's more … forceful. Yes, forceful would be the right word. It's like he knows what he wants and he knows that he's going to get it regardless of what he has to do to get it.

Gideon moves to stand in front of me and as he looks down at me. God, my mind is just thinking how freaking good looking this man is. I back up and come into contact with the back wall of the elevator. He puts his hand on the wall beside me. Looking into his eyes I see nothing but desire. As he leans forward the elevator stops and the doors open.

Quickly, I move around him taking the escape route that has just been given to me. I hear him whisper "Damn." Just as I make my way past him. But he straightens and is by my side with his hand in that possessive spot on my lower back again.

The bar on the roof is beautiful. We could never have anything so open air in Seattle because the weather changes so dramatically so quickly. So I am appreciative of the beauty that this roof has become. There is a bar on one end, tables in the middle and several seating areas of couches lining the sides of the roof. Everything is white and there is some tall shrubbery plants placed between the seating area couches and everything is backlit by blue spot lights. It's really beautiful. He leads me over to a white couch in the corner of the roof, its private, away from almost everyone but could you could still be seen by anyone there.

"Sit. I'll get us drinks."

"Gideon, just a mineral water please. I think I had enough to drink at dinner," I ask as he nods and walks towards the bar.

Once alone I reflect on my ever shaky emotions today. The need to find something that will take my mind off of one Christian Grey found me with a new friend that kept Christian out of my head; Arnoldo was funny, happy and understanding. Gideon was…well Gideon was intense and sexy as hell. I was jarred out of my revelry by someone sitting down next to me. It was two nice looking men in dress pants and dress shirts. One of the guys says "Hi. My name is James. Nice to meet you…."

"Ana."

"Nice to meet you Ana. This is my friend, Jesse."

"Uh, Hi."

"You know you're too beautiful to be here alone, Ana. Let me get you a drink," the first guy, _John I think_, says.

Looking over to see where Gideon is I notice he is almost to us but he looks angry. Well more like pissed. I have to get these guys to leave I don't know what Gideon is capable or how far he will go if someone makes him mad enough and right now he looks more than annoyed. "Um, thank you John, right? But I'm not alone here."

"Ahh, come on. Just one small drink and a little small talk," Jesse says as he slides closer to me and puts his hand on my leg. I move in the other direction removing his hand from my knee and say, "No thank you gentleman. I am here with someone and I'm really not interested."

"Oh I bet we could change your mind," says John smirking at me. Just as Gideon reaches out area, setting down my water and his drink he looks at the two men with a death glare and quietly speaks, "You heard the lady, she's not interested. Why don't you go ahead and move along now." His voice left chills down my back. Yeah he wasn't too happy with this situation at all. Both men turn to look at Gideon and their eyes widen just a bit and the both get up to leave, apologizing! Wow, I tried to say no nicely, twice and they still weren't having it. Gideon says a total of two sentences and they run and apologize. Damn, that's pretty good. I'm going to have to figure out how he manages that one. I smile to myself.

"Care to share what deserves that beautiful smile, Ana?" Gideon asks as he hands me my mineral water.

"Thank you," I say and blush when I tell him that it was just the thought of him being able to get those two guys away from me so quickly. I don't like a lot of attention so I find it disturbing when men hit on me but that I only been able to get left alone when someone does decide to hit on me if I get up and leave. Never have I been able to run them off with words. I am enormously embarrassed by this revelation to a basic stranger but Gideon is extremely easy to talk to. He seems surprised that I am not more accustomed to attention from men. I try to explain that it isn't the attention but more the reason behind why they would give me the attention. I mean I understood Kate getting attention, she was stunningly beautiful but I wasn't. I was just a plain bookworm with mousey brown hair and too big blue eyes. Gideon laughed, and I mean a full on belly laugh – _I like that sound_ – "Ana, you have no idea how beautiful you are. That's part of why you are even more attractive than Kate. You don't judge yourself very well. And any man that you have been with should have reinforced how beautiful you are everyday. Hell multiple times a day if need be."

I just look at him, embarrassed. Blushing a deep red and evasion technique number one goes into effect as I don't know why I gave up so much information about myself to him and didn't want to give anymore; I ask about him. I want to know about him.

He tells me that his father passed away, his mother remarried. He has a younger sister that he adores but that he and his mother, step-father and brother do not get along. I'm sad to hear this but he tells me that it's by his choice and that it will never change. He quoted the old saying that you can't pick your family but you can pick your friends.

After a while I realize that its almost 2 am and I tell Gideon that I need to head down to my room. Gideon picked up my handbag and slipped a card with his number on it into the side pocket and told me to call him "whenever."We get up and head back to the elevator and head to my and Kate's room. Outside the door, I turn to thank Gideon for the evening again when he grabs my waist lifts me up and crushes his lips to mine, slowly licking my bottom lip enticing me to open to him so that his tongue can enter and dance with mine. I wrap my arms around his neck grabbing his hair and pulling his mouth to mine to prolong this incredible kiss. As he sets me back on my feet his hands slowly slide up my torso, cupping the sides of my breasts and move back down. When we finally break the kiss, he rests his head on mine and says "I told you I would kiss you properly before the night was over." Smiling he turns and walks to the elevator and leaves.

I catch my breath before I open the suite door and head to bed with thoughts only of that kiss and the feeling of those strong arms around me and the closeness of being pressed up against Gideon's hard muscled chest.

Waking up the next morning to get ready to finish up Kate's shopping spree before heading to the airport I go into the kitchen area of the suite to make tea and find Kate sitting at the round dining table with a copy of the paper.

"Good morning"

Looking up at me she smiles, "You made the paper."

"What?"

She shows me page six. I guess its "The Society Page" for New Yorkers. There's a couple of pictures of Gideon and I. One leaving the restaurant that's caption says _"Gideon Cross leaving Tableau One with his date._ _The beautiful mystery brunette stayed close to Mr. Cross while leaving the hot new bistro where they dined with Arnoldo Ricci, the owner and Katherine Kavanaugh of Kavanaugh Media."_ The second was of us up on the roof here at the hotel. "_Gideon Cross with the mystery brunette again at the Blue Roof Bar on the roof of Hotel Blue in Manhattan's Meat Packing District where they were spotted talking the night away after Mr. Cross had words with two men regarding his companion for the evening._"

"Oh well. We saw the paparazzi taking pictures Kate. That they'd show up."

"Ana, aren't you worried that Mr. Stalker is going to find out about this and start some shit. You've been doing so well since we got here and I don't want that to change. And it will Ana, if Moneybags gets wind of this."

"Kate, no. This is New York news not Seattle news. No one will care besides how is Christian going to find out anyway? Are you planning on telling him, cause I'm not. I'm not going back down that road. Christian and I aren't together and Gideon and I aren't together. I can do what I please."

"I hope so Steele. I really do. I want you to be strong. I don't want you getting hurt. But your kidding yourself if you think Christian isn't going to find out about this. And no, I won't tell him besides what do I say, that we met friends for dinner? Nothing happened right?"

"Other than an amazingly wonderful, enticing kiss last night before I came in, No, Kate nothing happened so there isn't anything to tell. Come on we have to get ready to finish up your shopping before heading to the airport and home."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**A/N: Ok, so I'm gonna try to do this from Christian's POV this time. Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Hope ya'll enjoy this Chapter. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

*************************

The last few weeks have been torture. The worse that it has ever been for me, and that's saying a lot! Anastasia's left. I am too fucked up for her to bear. But didn't I know that, I mean going into this whole thing anyway. Didn't I know that I was too messed up for her. I warned her. I'm not the hearts and flowers guy. I'm not the guy that will give you the happily ever after that most women want. But hell, couldn't someone warn me? Shit really? I never thought that I had a heart. EVER. The only people that I have felt anything for I keep at a distance because I know that I'm fucked up and they deserve so much better than what I can give to them. I don't know what they have ever seen in me to want to make them try... but they do and I'm ... well I'm glad they try but I know that sooner than later that will end too. I don't deserve anyone good in my life. My subs I should just stick with them. No emotions, just a contract that I can end when and if I choose.

Hell, who am I kidding. FUCK! Running both my hands through my hair with my elbows on my desk. I don't want another fucking sub. I want Anastasia! She is all I have thought about for these last few weeks. I did send flowers, I did try to contact her through email, she wouldn't talk to me. She wouldn't respond or even acknowledge me. I sent Taylor over when I found out that she hadn't left her apartment in three days. I needed to know that she was still there and if she was okay. According to Taylor when she opened the door to him, he noticed that she was in sweats and that she looked tired and like she had been crying. Crying? Really? What the hell does she have to cry about; SHE LEFT ME, not the other way around. She politely thanked him for visiting but sent him back here, food in hand. ! UGH!

It took me almost a week to even leave Escala and that was only because I found out where she was working and decided that I needed to look into this publishing house. To find out if she is safe. She won't talk to me so I figure that I can at least make sure she is okay and protected if I can get my hands on this little publishing firm. That's been harder than I would have thought though. Seems that there is some other interest in Seattle Independent Publishing besides me. So we've been negotiating with the owners and board for almost three weeks. I want this to be a good investment but at the same time I want to protect Ana more so what they don't know is that I will do everything in my power to make sure that SIP falls under the GEH umbrella ... and soon! The other company has demanded information regarding all their financials, employees, and authors and I have requested the same information so that I will know exactly what GEH will be gaining but I cannot get them to tell me who else is looking at them. It doesn't matter anyway. I will make them understand that I will beat the other offer by ten percent regardless of how much that offer is. There's a meeting on Wednesday afternoon scheduled with me and Roz and then on Thursday with this other company that is interested and I have gotten them to agree to a deadline of Friday afternoon to let both of us know what will happen either way. But I'm not really worried. I could care less about the money in the end I just want to be able to watch after the amazingly beautiful woman that has seemed to take the light out of my life when she walked out my front door. I have put all my time and energy into this one acquisition and I will not have it fail.

I spend Saturday out on my boat sailing. It was one of those rare beautiful sunny days in Seattle and I wanted to take advantage of it. And well because I was getting tired of being cooped up in Escala remembering Ana asking me to show her how bad it could be. Shit I'm such an ass. I knew she wasn't ready and yet I did it anyway and look where it left me. Alone. Again. The boat, the water, they are both a safe place for me. I don't have to think about anything other than sailing the vessel. Of course Mac is on board to help but like me he doesn't talk much and he doesn't pressure me to talk.

Sunday is spent at my parents with my family. They know something is wrong. Elliot more than the others. I don't really speak until spoken to directly and just wander out to the backyard and stare at the water trying to redirect my thoughts from Ana. What is she doing now? What is she thinking about? Does she think of me? Does she miss me? FUCK! I need to get out of my own head for a while but I don't know how. I've never had to worry about all this. Sitting down to lunch my mom asks me, "Christian, what's going on? You're different? Not yourself. Almost dejected to a degree."

"Mom, I'm fine really. I just have this deal going on that is taking up a lot of time and energy and I just want it over with already."

"Are you sure darling? I mean I haven't seen you like this before. Like you lost your best friend."

My head snapped up at that. I just shake my head, "I'm fine."

Just about that time Mia pipes up, "How's Ana, Christian?" I turn to look at her giving her a look that says to not question me when Elliot answers, "Oh, she's with Kate in New York this weekend. So I imagine they've been having some fun."

"What do you mean she's in New York?!"

'Jeez, Christian chill. Kate had to go to New York for an interview of some big shot out there and said Ana needed a change of scenery so she took her with her for the trip. She thought that Ana would enjoy it being she's never been there before."

"Christian, why wouldn't you know that your girlfriend is on the other side of the country?" My nosy little sister asks. Again, I shoot her a stare that tells her that it isn't any of her business.

But again my fucking brother has to answer all questions asked. "He wouldn't know because they broke up."

"WHAT!" both my mother and sister say at the same time. God now I'm get twenty questions from at least on of them, Mia, but my mom just covers her mouth and says she's sorry for yelling but that she was just surprised. She really liked Ana and thought that we were good for one another.

Mia looks at me and asks, "What happened? Why did you two break up?"

"That's between Anastasia and myself Mia. Mom, I have to get going I have work that I need to finish up," I say and get up and head to the front door and to the SUV out front. Mia runs out yelling my name. I stop and turn around just in time to catch her as she flings herself at me and hugs me for all she's worth. "I love you Christian. We all do. And I imagine that Ana does too. You two have to find a way to fix this." She kisses me on the cheek and reminds me that I will see her this coming Saturday for the fundraiser my parents are having. Shit! I forgot all about it and really don't want to go but I'll do anything for my family so I will have to show up. For a little while anyway.

Getting into the SUV I look at Taylor. "Where you aware that Miss Steele is in New York with Miss Kavanaugh, Taylor?"

Taylor to his credit looks at me through the rearview mirror with as much surprise on his face as I have ever seen. He is usually so stoic that you would never know what he is thinking. "No Sir, I did not," he replys as he makes a call on his blue tooth. "Mitchell, this is Taylor? Have you been watching Miss Steele's apartment?" he asks. "Everyday?" He listens for a moment. "No movement? Just like every weekend huh? What about seeing Miss Kavanaugh coming or going?" ... "You thought Miss Kavanaugh may have been with Mr. Grey? Oh? When was the last time you say Miss Kavanaugh enter or leave the apartment, Mitchell?"

I know what Taylor is doing. He's giving this so called covert security officer enough room to hang himself and I'm glad. I don't think that I could do it. Right now all I can think of is that I've fucked up again. Ana's been in New York for the entire weekend, doing God knows what and with who and that bastard is sitting in a car I pay for twitteling his fucking thumbs! I want to fucking beat him within an inch of his life!

Taylor continues, "Friday night? You saw Miss Kavanaugh enter the apartment but you haven't seen hide nor hear of either of the girls in two days?" ... "YES you dumbass SOMETHING IS WRONG! They are in New York and have been since Saturday morning. You're fired. Please meet me at Escala in an hour and I will have your last paycheck ready." He says as he disconnects the phone. "I'm sorry, Sir. We dropped the ball. I will have new covert security for Miss Steele in place Monday afternoon, the latest."

"Monday morning, Taylor." He just nods his head and says "Sir." He knows I'm pissed.

Taylor has been in his office all afternoon on the phone trying to get new security in place for Anastasia for the morning. If I know Ana at all, she won't miss work and will be there by 9 am so security should be able to pick her up there. He has a couple of prospects flying in from California and Montana. Welch is running background checks on both as we speak and he knows that I will need to speak with both before one of them is hired. The decision in the end is mine but I will consider Taylor on this decision. It's his team and depending on what I think of either man, I have to know that this kind of mistake won't happen again and that Taylor will have insight into which man may be better for the job.

It's late, almost 3 am. We have Ana's new security in place, the girls should be back in Seattle by now, hopefully. But because I am not sure where she is, if she's okay, I can't sleep. I sit down to my piano and play but after a bit I realize that it isn't helping. I go downstairs to the gym. I run. I run for almost an hour and a half. I go upstairs, sweaty and smelly, tired. I shower and lay on the bed. Praying for sleep to come just for a little while.

I wake to my phone ringing. It's 9:30 am. Why the hell is Elliot calling. I answer the phone, "What Elliot?"

"Well good morning to you too Christian."

"Fuck you Lelliot. What do you want."

"Well, I was just having breakfast with our little sister and while she was surfing the web a couple of photos came up. I thought you would like to see them. But know that I will be speaking to Kate about them as soon as I get a chance."

"Elliot, what pictures are you talking about and why would I need to know that you'll be talking to Kate about them?"

The line stays silent for a minute before I figure out that the pictures must be of Kate and Ana in New York. "What the fuck Elliot. What's the website."

"Ah there's the eureka moment that I was waiting for!" Elliot laughs and tells me the website as I am logging onto my laptop.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Now Christian, calm down. Don't have a heart attack or anything. I'll talk to Kate, see what I can find out about them. I want to know why she was out with another guy just as you want to know about Ana. I mean I spoke to her Saturday night and she didn't mention this to me at all so ..."

"What the fuck is she doing with Gideon Cross... Really? ... Gideon Cross of all fucking people she has to go out with him? How the fuck does she even know him? Elliot find out everything you can."

"Whoa, isn't that what I just said? That I would find out what I could? And what's up with Gideon Cross? Do you know him?"

"Yes."

"Do you know the other guy?"

"No."

"Christian? Why are you so concerned that she's out with Gideon Cross versus just being out with someone else."

"That's none of your business Elliot. Just let me know what you find out." Hanging up I throw my phone across the room, shattering it to pieces.

Hands in my hair, "FUCK!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Hope ya'll enjoy this Chapter. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.

*********************

Its been two days since Kate and I got back to Seattle and thankfully there hasn't been any drama (well for me anyway) with the release of the pictures from Saturday night. Kate was really concerned that Christian would blow a gasket and storm our apartment demanding answers but she never thought that it would be Elliot instead. Kate spoke with Elliot Saturday but didn't tell him that we had dinner with Arnoldo and Gideon so he was more than a little pissed.

_"Hi baby!" Kate greeted Elliot throwing her arms around him kissing him. He just held her in his arms and looked at her. "Kate we need to talk." They went into Kate's bedroom and after about twenty minutes I heard Kate crying, "Nothing happened. Ana met Arnoldo while I was in my interview with Cross. He invited us to dinner. We didn't know he was going to invite Cross and we definately didn't know he owned the place." _

_"Why didn't you just tell me Kate? Why hide it!" _

_"I didn't think it would matter. It was just us meeting friends. I TOLD you we met with friends for dinner. Why does it matter that I didn't elobrate as to who the friends were."_

_"It looks like you were hiding something Kate! That's why!"_

_"Elliot. Listen to yourself. Of course I wasn't hiding anything. I went to New York, did an interview for work, went shopping with my best friend to find the perfect dress for your parents fundraiser this weekend and had dinner with Ana, and a friend SHE met._

_"We didn't know that Gideon Cross would be there. She was rather taken aback about the whole situation but turns out that HER friend and Cross co-own the damn resturant and have been friends for years. It would have been rude, on both our parts, to have gotten up an left especially when Arnoldo helped her most of the day!"_

_"What do you mean, 'helped her'?"_

_"He kept her occupied. He showed her some of the city. He kept her mind of YOUR brother, Elliot! Remember the WHOLE reason I wanted her to go with me New York to begin with!_

_"It was like she was herself again for the first time since ... "_

_"Ok, Ok. I get it. This wasn't intentional. But Kate, do me a favor and next time you and Ana meet two really good looking men for dinner, friends or no, you tell me!"_

_"That's a promise, big boy."_

_A few minutes later I heard them going at it and all I could think was God this is gonna be a long night if I have to hear them all night long!_

Remembering the next morning Elliot had some questions for me about the pictures of Gideon and I. I just looked at him and said that Gideon was a complete gentleman and that we had a nice time talking. When he pushed for more information I just looked at him and told him that Christian and I weren't together anymore and it was none of his business and I didn't appreciate him doing Christian's dirty work to find out more about my life. He raised his eyebrows and just shook his head. Yeah, I know what he was doing and didn't like it one little bit.

After work today I got home was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine watching old reruns on tv cleaning out my purse. I found Gideon's card. Should I call him? Didn't Kate say that he would be leaving on vacation on Monday? It's Tuesday night. Maybe he won't be busy? Maybe I shouldn't disturb him?

Turning his card over and over in my hands all I can think about is how one weekend changed my thoughts so much. I haven't been moping around pining over Christian. Granted I've been working long hours, which keeps him off my mind but sitting here now, I'm not thinking about Christian. I'm thinking of shoulder length black hair, piercing blue eyes and extremely hard arms on my shoulder protecting me from an onslaught of photographers whispering in my ear that everything will be okay. For the first time, I think he may be right. I find my phone and dial.

Answering he answers, "Cross."

"Ah, Gideon?"

"Ana?"

"Ah, yeah. It's me. I was just sitting here and thought I would give you a call."

"Did you now?" He chuckles. "What can I do for you?"

"Well," I say nervously, "I was just thinking of last Saturday and how much I enjoyed our evening and thought I would call and say hi. I hope that I'm not bothering you or interrupting anything?"

"No, not at all. Actually, I'm vacation for for another day. Before I head to Portland and then Seattle."

"What? You're coming here?"

"Yep," he says drawing out the 'p'. "Thankfully, you called me and I didn't have to call in some favors to get your number," he says laughing. I find that I actually like when he laughs. He seems to do so freely with me and it kind of melts the ice that I have formed around my heart a little bit each time.

Smiling to myself, "Well, Mr. Cross, that would be easy for you to get being as Kate is my best friend and she interviewed you Saturday afternoon. One phone call would have gotten you that number. Not too much of a challenge for you there now is it?"

"Ahh, but the challenge lies in making myself wait Ana. Wait to see if you would call and Ana, just so you know, I never wait."

"But you waited for me?"

He goes on to tell me that Arnoldo informed him that he thought I had recently been hurt by a relationship and warned him that he could possibly do more damage if he pursued me. He just wanted to make sure that I was ready. He didn't want to add to any pain that I could still have and he definately didn't want to be the 'rebound guy'. Giggling, I informed him that he could never be the 'rebound' but that I appreciated that he wanted me to be sure before making contact.

I can't keep from smiling. This devilishly handsome man challenged himself to let me make the first move. To give me control? Wow. So different from Christian and I like that about him.

He tells me that he has been spending time relaxing on a short vacation in Hawaii before coming to Washington. When I asked him why he was coming up here he just said that he was looking into some business opportunities that he needed to check in on before making final decisions and he would be doing that on Thursday. I ask him how long he will be in town and tell him that I would love to see him.

"I would love to take you to dinner tomorrow night Ana? What do you say?"

"Tomorrow?" _Did I just squeak? Really? Goodness!_

"Yes, I was planning on flying out in the morning to head up there. I have a meeting in Seattle in the afternoon but we should be able to wrap up by 4 pm or so. I can pick you up at work say around 5?"

"Sure, Gideon. That would be great!"

The next day I took my time getting ready for work knowing that Gideon would be picking me up from work I put on a pair of black skinny jeans and a cute top with a blazer with my chucks but thow a pair of 5 inch stilletos in a bag along with a top that I can change into later before I leave.

Jack has been nervous since Monday morning, not really giving me enough to do so I just keep summarizing the first five chapters of each manuscript that comes in and respond to his authors when they contact him. I don't know what he is doing but I know that he hasn't spoken to one author or responded to one email or even picked up a summary let alone a manuscript in the past three days. But I have to say that it does make my day go quicker having so much to do.

There's been a lot of commotion today. Jack has even more irriatable and has been in meetings all day. Claire at reception said some big whig was in with Roach AND the board of directors today. I could only hope that everything is going to be okay with SIP. I happen to like my job and really don't want to lose it if its not.

At ten minutes of five I get a text from Gideon letting me know that he would be outside SIP in five minutes. I jump up grabbing my bag and I head to the bathroom to quickly get ready. After changing my top to a banded chiffon tank, brushing my hair out so that it falls in loose waves down my back, put my stilletos on and checking my makeup and reapplying lip gloss I stand back to look at myself in the mirror and decide that I look pretty damn good for a "rush" job getting ready. Heading over to Jack's office I notice he still isn't in and its after five now so I go ahead and head out.

Walking into reception Claire looks up, "Ana! You. Look. Fabulous. Got a hot date?"

"Just meeting a friend Claire. Have a good evening. See you tomorrow," I respond looking over my shoulder as I open the door to leave.

As I hit the sidewalk outside I see a familiar black SUV with a man standing next to it. _WHAT! WHY IS HE HERE!_ Getting closer I realize it's Taylor. I take a deep breath and notice that there is a beautiful silver Bentley behind Taylor's SUV and the door opens and Gideon climbs out. I stop and just stare at the man for a moment. God, he's hot. Standing in a black three piece suit that looks taylor made for him (it probably is!) with a powder blue shirt and patterned tie. That suit just makes his body look even more ... well just more. He's smiling, waiting for me to get to him, and I notice he's looking me up and down taking me in completely.

I had stopped paying attention to Taylor and didn't even realize that he was standing right next to me. "Miss Steele."

"Taylor" I look at him, "How have you been? How's Gail?" I make small talk. But I know if Taylor is out here, he'll be out here soon and I can't see him. I'm still not ready for that yet.

"I'm good so is Gail. If I may?" At my nod he continues, "We miss you at Escala, Ma'am."

"It's Ana. And I miss you both too." I purposefully don't say anything about Christian. Gideon walks up to me and I feel his hand on my back, "Ana?"

Smiling I reach up and kiss his cheek, "Gideon. Taylor can I introduce you to Gideon Cross. Gideon this is Jason Taylor."

"Nice to meet you Sir."

"The pleasure is all mine. Ana, are you ready to go?"

"One moment please Gideon?" He nods but doesn't leave my side. Hmmmm... anyway I look at Taylor and ask him to have Gail call me sometime. I let him know that I missed her and would love to have lunch with her sometime.

"I'll let her know, Ma'am."

Squinting, "Ana, Taylor."

"Ana," he says smirking at me. Wow, Jason Taylor actually changed his expression! I giggle to myself and say good bye and as I turn around, I see him and freeze.

Gideon looks down at me, "Ana?" He whispers in my "are you okay? You're trembeling."

I can't take my eyes off of him. Christian. He's walking out of SIP right towards me. Whispering, "Gideon, please can we go. I need to go." I barely heard myself, I don't know how Gideon could have heard me but he did and his arm went right around me and said the same thing in my ear that he said Saturday night, "Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you." I look up at him, pleading with my eyes and his arm just tighens around me and he smiles.

"Mr. Cross. Anastasia" Christian greets us. He has that CEO mask on giving nothing away. But I know him and I know he's pissed.

"Grey." Gideon nods hello. I can't say anything. I won't say anything. Christian hasn't taken his eyes off of me. I feel like I'm going to be sick, my vision is getting blurry. I feel like I'm going to pass out.

"How have you been?" He says still not even acknowledging Gideon standing next to me.

"Gideon, please?" I turn to look up at me. He turns me, saying over his shoulder, "Nice to see you again Grey," and escorts me to the Bentley where a driver is holding the door so that I can slide right in.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**A/N: It seems like everyone reviewing so far is rather enjoying this so far. I hope ya'll continue to. Sorry about any typos or errors. Please feel free to review all are read and appreciated. I do not own any of the characters.**

********************************

I'm shaking and I can't stop. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of me.I feel Gideon next to me just watching me. He has his arm around my shoulders slightly rubbing my arm. It feels nice but I know he's waiting for an explaination. An explaination that I can't share. Well, not completely. And that though alone makes me tremble more. His words replay in my head. _Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you._ Nine little words on replay in my head, over and over again. He can't make sure that everything will be fine. He lives in New York! I live here. I live here in Seattle where Christian lives and where I could run into him at any moment. I frown at this thought. I really thought that I was finally working though the hurt that I felt when I left him. The physical pain ... well what can I say about that? It's physical, of course that goes away but the emotional? I don't know if that ever goes away but dammit I'm trying to move past it.

Gideon finally asks, "Would you rather I take you home instead of going to dinner?"

I don't know how I managed to answer him. My voice completely steady, "do you mind? I really don't feel like going out but I do owe you dinner Mr. Cross and I would like to cook for you, if you'll let me?"

"You don't have to do that. Something happened back there. I'd like to know what it was."

"It's nothing Gideon, really. Please let me make you dinner."

"One condition."

Raising my eyebrows, this is it. He's going to want answers to what happened on that damn sidewalk. "Which is?"

"We talk about what happened just now afterwards? I need to know what that was about." He's looking at me with such intensity and with such determination that it feels like no matter what I say or what I do, he will find out. I need to head this off before he starts poking around trying to get the information himself. I'm sure that's exactly what he'll do. He and Christian are too much alike in that respect. These two men didn't get where they are, at the ages they are or as quickly as they did, by not finding out information. And hell I already know about Christian's stalker tendancies. Hopefully, if Gideon has that same malfunction of ethics, he hides it better than Christian did, especially reguarding me.

"Fine. But my own condition Gideon. You can ask only one question. I will answer it truthfully but you only get one," crossing my arms over my chest, leaning forward to give the driver my address and then looking out the window.

"I may need more than that. Three."

Unwillingly a neverous chuckle comes out of me, "you're negotiating! No. One."

"Two. I usually would just demand an answer to my questions, Ana. I'm trying here to not do that to you, so yes, I'm negotiating. But I promise that I will only use the second question IF I think that you're not being honest with me or if you don't give me enough information to justify an actual answer to my question. Deal?" Quirking an eybrow and looking at me with those stunning blue eyes and a 'gotcha' smirk on his face.

I agree. Knowing that was my exact intention. To not give him enough to satisfy but warn him that I am always honest and if he doesn't really want an answer to a question then he shouldn't ask it.

He pulls me in closer to his chest and kisses my temple, "thank you."

I turn back to look back out the window as the car is driving us to my apartment and think on this afternoon. I knew when I saw Taylor that I needed to get out of there. That I needed to hurry but if I'm honest with myself I missed him and Gail. He reminds my of my dad in so many ways. Quiet, loyal, tactiturn. And Gail, well she is just like a mom. And even in the short time that Christian and I were together I came to care for them both so much. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that they both cared for Christian and ... so do I.

Then I saw him. I couldn't get off that sideway quickly enough but I was frozen at the same time. I had no strength in me to move. Thankfully Gideon was there to hold me up and guide me to his car to leave. He looked good, but then he always looked good. Just because I had been a basketcase for a few weeks didn't mean that he was. Hell by his own admission I was wrong for having feelings for him.

The car comes to a stop. I realize that we are at my apartment, getting out of the car and heading toward the building I turn and half smile at Gideon. "Well come on big man, let's get some food going so that I can feed you." Smiling at him. Trying to lighten the mood a little.

He full on laughs again. I really do like his full on belly laugh. "big man? Ana, you have no idea just how apt that statement is."

Ok, so now its my turn to blush. I think I'm completely red but I respond with "you may just have to prove it to me one day.

He leans down to my ear and whispers, "I will. Soon."

I look up at him wide eyed and realize that he's smirking at me. Batting my eyelashes and flashing him a huge smile, "promises, promises."

At that he pulls me to him and kiss me hard. Holding me tightly against his body. I can feel his muscles flex under his suit jacket. I know he's holding back and I know its because we're on the street outside my apartment building.

"I've been wanting to do that again since last Saturday after I left you back at your hotel room. Now come, lets go get dinner ready." With that he turns and holds out his hand for my key to the building.

_

We got to the apartment, Gideon took his suit jacket and vest off. Lord that man has muscles!You can make them out with his every movement. Shaking my head to clear it I start pulling out the ingredients to make chicken cutlets with gnocchi and a lemon caper sauce.

While making and eating dinner which Gideon actually helped with, and was pretty good at, he and I just had more talking time like the other night. We talked about anything and everything. My family, his hobbies, college for both of us, his company, what I plan to do in the publishing field. Then I asked him how his meeting this afternoon went, and something changed. I don't know what it was but he just got up and starting clearing dishes from the table and loading the dishwasher.

"Gideon?"

He's looking down at the plate in his hand running it under hot water. "I didn't have a meeting this afternoon Ana. The meeting is Friday."

"Wait. You said that you had a meeting here today, one in Portland on Thursday and then would be back in Seattle by Friday. I'm pretty sure that's what you told me."

"I lied. Well about today anyway." His voice is so low its hard to catch what he's saying.

Confused, "Why?"

"I wanted to see you and didn't want to wait till the weekend" He sets the plate down. Wipes his hands on a dishtowel and leans his hip against the counter and just looks at me daring me to be upset.

I'm surprised actually. I don't know why he didn't just say he wanted to see me. I walk over to him, reach up on tip toes, _God the man is tall_, pull his head down and kiss him, gently. I pull back and look up at him through my eyelashes, "I missed you too." It was a simple but true statement. I did miss him.

At that moment there seemed to be a growl that came out of him and he picked me up and set me on the counter, parting my legs so that he could stand closer he cupped my face in his hands, smiled and said good before crashing his lips down on mine. My arms wrapped around his neck. One ran up the back of his head, running though his gorgeous inky mane of hair while the other wraps around to his shoulder squeezing him. The kiss goes on forever. I feel myself getting wet I know that I'm attracted to him, who wouldn't be. But I also desire him too. He's gentle with me when he needs to be and judging by his kissing he can be a little rougher too.

He brakes apart first resting his forehead on mine with his eyes closed and just shakes his head slowly back and forth. I put a hand on his cheek causing him to open his eyes. I look at him, wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck with both hands on his head, whisper to him that I want more and pull him down for another kiss. Both his hands are on either side of me on the counter and he's kissing me with so much passion I can't help but moan into his mouth.

I never heard the door to the apartment open. "ANA!"

I scramble off the counter and in my haste almost fall but Gideon thankfully is still right there and makes sure that I don't land on my ass. I turn and face Kate but it wasn't just Kate standing there. It was Kate, Elliot _AND_ Christian? _Fuck_! What was he doing here!


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: I know this is short but I wanted to get something up today and as I'm heading in to work I got this chapter just to a stopping point. I was thinking of doing a couple of short sections of Gideon's and Christian's POV. What do you think? More Christian probably but what about Gideon's?**

**I hope ya'll continue to review and let me know what you think. Sorry about any typos or errors. Please feel free to review all are read and appreciated. I do not own any of the characters.**

********************************

Shit. What the hell is Kate thinking. Why would she bring Christian here? This is the one place that I would have thought I could be safe from him showing up. I know he's Elliot's brother and he and Kate are dating but I would have thought that she would have known not to invite Christian of all people into our home. I'm standing there looking wide eyed at the three of them. My entire body has tensed up. This isn't going to be good and I need to get a handle on this quickly before everything blows up. Well at least before Christian blows up. I don't know what Gideon will do; he's still in the dark about the whole mess. We haven't gotten to his required two questions. I was hoping to avoid them at almost any cost. I don't know if I'll like the answers anymore than he will.

Seeing the three people in front of me, staring at me. Three completely different looks. Kate's is one of amusement, Elliot's of shock and Christian's of complete and utter anger. What the hell does he have to be angry about? Really? Anger? He's the one who told me I was wrong for loving him. That he couldn't love anyone. So why the angry look in those steelely grey eyes of his. His eyes are the only thing that give away his emotions. He's usually so good a masking those emotions that its indescribable as to why all of a sudden he would allow this particular feeling to show through that veneer of carefully cultivated facade.

Ok, breathe, Ana, breath, you can do this. I have to get Christian out of here. I can't have him here. I have questions for him. Like why he was at SIP earlier today, why was he having Elliot dig around, asking me questions about the trip to New York. I know he's the jealous type but seriously why the hell would he be jealous. Its been a little over a month since I walked out of his penthouse; where he told me it was wrong of me to have feelings for him. So why would he be jealous. I'm not his and he definately made it known that he wasn't mine. So,I'm doing my best to put him behind me and then he shows up at my apartment!

"What are you doing here?" I direct my question directly to Christian not even acknowledging Kate or Elliot but Elliot is the one that answered as Christian just stood there staring at Gideon's hand resting lightly on my hip.

"We were on our way to dinner with my parents and realized that I left some drawings here the other night that I need for Christian. So we stopped by to get them." He looks nervously between me and Christian as he says this.

"Again, I'm going to ask you why you are here." It's the only sentence that I can make come out of my mouth.

"Ana..." Kate trys to say. Holding my hand up to her, "No, Kate. You live here, Elliot is your boyfriend. I know why you two are here." Looking at Christian again, "Why are you here?" My voice getting a little louder, sharper, more venomous.

Kate looks at Elliot and whispers something to him and they head to her bedroom. I assume to get whatever it is that Elliot said he needed because I hope that he didn't just try to railroad me into talking to Christian. I hope that he wouldn't do that but I don't know him well enough to know that he wouldn't. And Kate. Well hell, Kate liked to start drama but at the end of the day she would never, no matter what she thought or felt about something, would never try to hurt me. And this most definately would fall into the 'hurt Ana bad' category.

Looking at Gideon's hand that has flexed a little pulling me closer to his side, Christian looks at me and there's a flash of hurt in his eyes. Really? Hurt? "I asked you a question outside SIP earlier. You didn't answer."

"I don't have to answer any questions you ask me Christian. I don't owe you an answer. I don't owe you a thing. I think you should leave. Maybe wait for Elliot and Kate outside."

"I'm not going anywhere Anastasia. Not as long as he's here." Nodding his head in Gideon's direction.

"What! Really? When the hell did you get to decide WHO I have in my home? You don't own me Christian. You don't get to order me around and expect me to submit to your every whim!"

He's eyes tightened at that statement, "Careful, Ms. Steele. And like I said. I'm not going anywhere while he's here."

Gideon trys at that point to reason with Christian. "Look, Grey. I don't know what's going on here but obviously Ana doesn't want you here for whatever reason. Don't escalate this any further than it already has," he says looking down at me. He knows I'm trembeling. He can feel me, pressed as closely as I am to him. "She's asked you to leave. Just go."

"Fuck you Cross. This has nothing to do with you. Stay the fuck out of it!"

"It has everything to do with me. When I'm here invited by the woman that lives here that I happen to be seeing and you're here making a fool out of yourself! Demanding answers that you're not entitled to."

Christian takes a step towards us at that comment and all I can see is pure unadulterated anger pouring out of his eyes. His hands are balled into fists. "This is none of your business, Cross!" He says this so quietly but the deadly venom is there nonetheless.

"Christian, just go. Leave. I don't want you here." I plead with him. He looks at me for a moment, his eyes softening just a touch and then back to Gideon. "No."

Ok fine. He's going to act like a spoilt five year old. That's just fine. But I am not going to have two grown men go at each other in my kitchen. Smirking at him, yes I know that will piss him off more but right now I don't care, "Gideon? I can't be here with him. Can we leave please?"

Christian's eyes go huge. He's looking at me like I've lost my marbles. Maybe I have but I am not standing in this apartment with two men that look like they want to rip the other to shreds.

Gideon looks down at me and says "Sure thing sweet girl. Anything you want." Smiling at me with that one dimple smile that I was attracted to so much that first night we met.

Taking his hand I'm leading him to the door, grabbing my jacket and purse on the way. Christian grabs my arm as I walk by, and I feel it. That spark, that jolt everytime we touch. It shoots through me everytime. "Ana. Please. You don't know what you're doing. He's dangerous. You won't be safe. Please."

I jerk my arm away, sneering at him, "What and you think that you're not dangerous for me or that I'll be safe with you?! Fuck You Christian! I can make my own decisions. I don't need you to dictate to me what I need to do or who I can be around. I make those decisions." Turning to Gideon, "Lets go."

"Where to sweet girl?"

"Your hotel," turning to close the door behind me I see Christian's face fall.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**A/N: Well now there's been some negative remarks made regarding this story. That's fine. I'll say this once, as I'm sure many of the other FF Authors have had to say. This is my story. I will write it the way that I want and that won't change. If you don't like it or if you think it is over done and boring then you are more than welcome to NOT read it and move along to a story that you won't find boring or over done. **

**That said, thank you to everyone for all the amazing reviews that you have given. I hope you like this chapter and please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

*************************

Gideon's holding my hand walking out to the car. I know he's concerned about what just happened upstairs and I know that my two question night is now going to be a full-fledged explanation for him to understand everything. Actually, I quite surprised and happy that he let me deal with Christian for as long as he did without stepping in. But I'm still trembling, there's so many emotions inside right now I can't process them all. Love, anger, hurt, anger, fear, anger, confusion, surprise. Yep. Anger that's the overwhelming emotion.

We reach the car, Gideon's hand on my lower back as he opens the door for me to get in. He hasn't said anything and I hope that he doesn't for a little while. I need time to process everything I'm feeling right now and all I want to do is breakdown and cry. He tells the driver to go to his hotel and sits back in the plush leather upholstery of the Bentley we were in earlier. He pulls me closer to him, putting my head on his chest and says, "Everything will be fine sweet girl. Don't worry about a thing. I'll make sure you're ok and safe." He says this in such a reassuring tone that I almost believe him. Almost. Christian is well Christian. Once he wants something he goes after it and I haven't known him to lose. And upstairs, well it seemed like he wanted answers from me. But answers to what, I don't know. We're not together anymore, I can't be what he needs me to be and he won't allow himself to give me what I need. What else is there to discuss. I've been dealing for the past month of getting over him. I'm really trying and thought that I could be at a point where I could deal with him not being in my life. I guess with my reaction today, I was terribly wrong. I'm not over him, not by a long shot and I don't know when I will be, if ever.

I didn't realize that tears had been sliding down my cheeks since we left my apartment until we reached Gideon's hotel and saw the wet spot on Gideon's shirt from them. He just looked down at it when I apologized and shrugged. Getting out of the car he reached back for my hand to help me out, tucked me protectively back into side with his arm around me we walked to the bank of elevators. We head up to the penthouse suite where he opens the door and leads me in. I look at a beautiful appointed room. Everything is in natural colors, browns, tans and wood. Extremely elegant. The cream chenille couch sits looking at a decorative wood burning fireplace with matching chairs on either side. I turn and see a baby grand in the corner and a dining room that looks more like a conference room to my right. There are large picture windows everywhere. I'm taking everything in but Gideon just guides me to the master bedroom, "Ana, take a shower. I'll call down to get you some comfortable clothes for tonight. I've got a couple of calls to make but when you're done I'd like to talk about what happened. Okay?"

Nodding my head, he turns and leaves the bedroom closing the door as he goes. I look around the room, there's a canopied king bed, an armoire and a desk and chair. Heading into the bathroom I see nothing but marble everywhere and a jetted tub. I actually think about taking a bath instead but just shake my head. Christian and I had some wonderful times in the bath. I can't. Not here. Not in Gideon's room. I shouldn't be thinking about Christian here. Not like that. Turning the water on in the shower. I slowly undress pondering what I information I will need to give Gideon to be able to satisfy him. I can't tell him everything. There's an NDA in place that assures that I can't. But if nothing else, with all the fucked up things that have happened today, Gideon needs the truth. I turn my face to the hot water remember all the good times with Christian, things that I can share with Gideon. The roller coaster that was our relationship. But I can't tell him the real reason that we're not together.

I'm still crying but now I'm sitting on the shower floor. Arms wrapped around my legs and my forehead resting on my knees letting the water hit my back in a soothing rhythm but after the stress of the day. Seeing Christian again for the first time since leaving Escala and then again in my apartment it is extremely clear to me that I need more time to deal with the emotion turmoil that is wreaking havoc inside me. It was wrong to kiss Gideon at my apartment. It felt wonderful to feel wanted but how fair is that to Gideon? This man that wanted to give me the space and time that I needed to deal with my issues before seeing me again. Who admittedly doesn't wait for anything or anyone but chose to wait for me to make the first move because he wants me and doesn't want to be the 'rebound guy'; as he so clearly told me the other night. He deserves more from me than a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

There's a knock on the bathroom door. "Ana? When you're ready there's a bag on the bed for you with some clothes in it for you."

I take that as he's finished with his phone calls and is ready to talk. Standing up and turning of the shower I take a fluffy white towel and wrap it around myself and take a smaller towel and towel dry my hair then wrap it up. Walking out into the bedroom, I move to the bed and the bag. There's a matching nude lace bra and panty set along with yoga pants, a tank and a hoodie. I put on everything but the bra. I want to be comfortable for this conversation and besides with the hoodie, I'll be covered.

Walking out into the living area of the suite, Gideon has a laptop open on his lap sitting in an armchair by the couch. I curl up on the couch, knees to my chest under the hoodie, "Ok, I'm ready to talk if you are."

He looks at me with those amazingly blue eyes and smiles at me but it doesn't reach his eyes. He looks pensive. Closing the laptop and setting it on the coffee table, he stands. "Before we start, do you want anything to drink?"

"Please. Just a bottle of water." He retrieves the bottle of water and makes himself a scotch. He comes back over to me and sits down, not in the chair but right beside me. Turning to face me with his knee on the couch between us and his arm over the back of the sofa, "Start from the beginning please."

Trying to keep to the plan, hoping I can get him to stay with our agreement, "We agreed Gideon, two questions. You have to ask me."

Agitation and surprise register on his face before he blocks out the emotion. I think I caught him off guard. "No. Everything. After that debacle in your apartment and me holding my temper in check and not beating the shit out of Grey in your home, I think that you can do better than holding me to an agreement that was just curiosity before. I don't think you realize just how much that episode pissed me off."

Oh. Now it was my turn to be surprised. I didn't even consider that he would be angry about the situation. Questioning of it yes, but mad... no I didn't think of that. But I could see that. Gideon is a virile man. He was on a date and when someone demanded something of that date in front of him, I guess he would want to do everything to protect her from that. I didn't give him the chance. I hope he didn't feel emasculated. I didn't think that I went that far.

Contritely looking at him, "I'm sorry."

"From the beginning, Ana." He's looking at me. Demanding answers with those penetrating eyes of his and his completely impassive face.

"Christian and I recently broke up. Very recently. He's the reason that I was in New York with Kate last weekend." He looks surprised by that admission.

"Hmmm. He's not known for having a girlfriend or dating anyone." Curiosity coloring his tone. Knowing that I can't tell him why that is, "No, he's not. He keeps his personal life very private Gideon. So I will only share with you that we were only together a short time. He was my first serious relationship, I loved him. We had some amazing times together and some not so amazing times too. I won't go into that. But suffice it to say that it won't ever work between us and we broke up." Ok yeah. I think that works. Short and to the point. And truthful.

"Why?" Aw hell how did I think I would get out of it that easily. Why does he have to ask for more I gave him everything that I could.

"He doesn't love me." I turn my head to look at Gideon again. This time I register shock on his face. "He's a fool."

"Gideon? Why did he say you were dangerous? Do you two know each other?" I choose not to acknowledge Gideon's last comment but I'm not going to discuss Christian anymore.

Now it's Gideon's turn to look a bit solemn. "We've met before."

"I would expect so. I mean you both run multibillion dollar companies. You're paths were bound to pass at some point. But that comment couldn't have been about your business Gideon. It was more a personal attack. One to get me to stop and evaluate before I left with you."

"But you didn't? Why?"

"Because the person that I met in New York. That shared information so freely with me at that rooftop bar and the person that I spoke with half the night last night isn't who I would consider dangerous. So please tell me what he meant."

"We met in Boston. In college. There was this girl..." Shock must have been all over my face as I interrupted him, "You two fought over a girl?"

"No sweet girl, we didn't. I was engaged to her. She was attacked, beaten pretty badly when she was out running one evening. Christian and I being members of the rowing team knew each other. He knew how torn up I was about what happened to her and my determination to find and punish the person that hurt her so badly."

Putting my legs down and turning on the couch to face him, "Oh my God. Gideon I'm so sorry. Was she okay?"

He pulled me into his lap, turning me, my back to his front and leaned down to speak in my ear. "Yes. Eventually. It didn't work out between us, so I know how you feel regarding Grey, Ana. I do. And I accept that there is more to your story that your unwilling to share but if you want me to finish you will have to stop interrupting. Its a pet-pev of mine."

"Ok, sorry. Please finish."

"Anyway, it took a sizable chunk of money and a few months. By the time Corrine was out of the hospital. She was there for a month and a half." He's shaking his head trying, it looks like, to remove the memory from his brain. "But eventually I found him. I can be a bit of a hot head. I did some things. I'm not proud of them but I did them. He won't be hurting anyone else.

"Christian found out. He knew I was a furious. He never thought I would find the scumbag. But I did. Needless to say, it was over for her. The fear that this person would come back and hurt her again. And that my darling sweet girl, is all I will say on that matter."

"One question?" I'm concerned. Scared actually. The one thought is 'Oh My God, did this man kill someone'.

"I can guess the question. No, I did not kill him. I would have if Christian hadn't of stopped me but the asshole probably wishes he were dead."

"Wait! Christian stopped you?"

"We ended up fighting because he did. Now I've said enough so that you know what he was referring to. You've given me answers tonight as well. Time to get some sleep."

Swiftly and effortlessly he swoops me up and carries me into the master bedroom pulls back the covers and lays me down. "Off with the sweatshirt." Looking at me and holding out his hand for it. There's that look in his eyes again. That one of demand but desire too. Oh God are all men this freaking confusing. I take of my hoodie and hand it to him.

"Get comfortable." He tucks me in like a child. Bends to kiss my forehead. "We can think and discuss what comes next tomorrow. I still have some work to finish up. Good night sweet girl."

I say good night and curl up under the down comforter. Today has been draining. I don't think I have ever felt so tired. Stress. Yes, it has to be from the stress from today. I close my eyes and instantly fall asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**A/N: Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. I'm gonna do a bit of Christian in this chapter as well . I hope ya'll enjoy! :-)**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

*************************

**CPOV**

I'm still having a hard time dealing with seeing the pictures of Ana in New York with Cross. She doesn't know what she's getting herself into. I've seen the man in action. When he wants something he will stop at nothing to get it. He'll hunt down whatever it is he wants/whomever it is he wants until there's so much damage done that he gets the outcome he wants. I don't want to see Ana in that predicament. He's sneaky about how he does things though. Protects himself. Protects his business. He makes sure that anything underhanded that happens to what he goes after could never be traced back to him directly.

I'm pacing my office at Grey House, running my hands through my hair constantly. If I keep this up I'm going to end up bald but right now I couldn't care less. Shaking my head, trying to rid myself of the mental picture in my head of Ana curled protectively under Cross' arm in that photo.

I talked with Elliot on Monday afternoon regarding the girls' trip to New York. He said that Kate took her because she hadn't been herself since he and Kate got back from Barbados. He said that Ana wouldn't talk to him about it. Said that it wasn't any of his business and that Kate's only explanation was that she needed to distract Ana from me. What the fuck? Really? Maybe she does love me...maybe she is hurting as much as I am from not being together? But no. She sure seems to have gotten over her so-called 'love' for me. She's out with another man just a few short weeks later? Why was she in New York in the first place? How did she meet him? Why was she with him? Are they fucking? Shit? Are they fucking? Now I have that fucking mental picture in my head too! SHIT!

There's a knock at my door. "WHAT!" Yeah, I'm barking at the staff. Whatever. They should be used to it by now, I've done it enough since I came back after she left.

Andrea opens my door. Usually she is pretty good with my mood swings and temper. But today she looks nervous, even a little timid as she enters and announces that my next appointment is here and sets a file on my desk. "Here's the file you asked for Mr. Grey."

My only response to her is a curt nod of the head as I turn back to the window and stare vacantly out at the Seattle skyline.

"Have a seat Welch." As he enters my office. I turn and head back to my desk. Seeing the file Andrea placed there. I open it and review the first two or three pages.

"What did you find out?"

"We still haven't found out who the other investor is that is looking into the buyout of SIP and  
looking into the employees of SIP I have found that Ms. Steele works directly with a Mr. Jack Hyde..."

"Fucking hell Welch. I need to know who I'm up against in purchasing SIP. And as for Jack Hyde, I know that shit already. I have his personnel file right here." I pick up the file in front of me and drop it back on my desk for emphasis. "What else besides what's in this did you find out?"

"We're still digging. There were some red flags in his earlier employment but as he left each company nothing was ever documented. He's been at SIP for five years now as you're well aware. None of his assistant editors have stayed with the company and none have stayed in publishing here in Seattle, anyway.

"We've found out he's was a foster kid. There were some juvenile records that we are still trying to get access to. I should have that information by the end of the week. Exceptionally bright. Won a full ride scholarship to Yale where he completed his bachelor's and then he started working at a publishing firm in New York. He has since worked at four publishing firms other than SIP."

"When this buy out happens. I do not want him at SIP. Not working with Miss Steele. Is there anything we can use to terminate him?" I've already reviewed his contract. We have to have cause to end his employment and by the looks of it there isn't anything yet that would allow me to do that. But I don't want him working with Ana. She's young, beautiful and extremely naive. None of his assistants have been retained - that's a red flag itself but the fact that none of them are even working in Seattle?

"Not right now. He'll have to have to make a large mistake for that to happen and if he's doing anything that he shouldn't he's covering his tracks well enough."

"FUCK! There's something. Find it. Talk to the previous assistants find out what kind of boss he is/was. He will not stay employed with SIP once it is under the GEH umbrella. Do I make myself clear!" Tension is radiating through me. I have to make sure Anastasia is safe and I can't do that while she is working with Hyde.

"Very."

I stand and head to the door. Opening it, "Get it done quickly Welch." In the same breath, "Andrea, get Taylor in here." I slam the door and head back to my spot at the window again.

Knocking on the door Taylor opens it. He's the only one with balls enough not to wait for me to tell him to enter. He knows that nothing here is hidden from him. Now at Escala, I smirk to myself, he only ever did that once. I think he learned his lesson after walking in on me balls deep in my sub at that time. "We have to head over to SIP in ten minutes. Make sure I have everything that we will need for this. All the files on the board members and the executive management should be enough along with financials. I won't lose this deal."

"Yes sir."

"I haven't heard from the new covert today. Any news on Anastasia?"

"I spoke with Sawyer earlier sir. She entered SIP at 8:30 am and hasn't left the building since. I've instructed him that he is to send everything to me, so as not to disturb you, unless it is an emergency sir."

"Why the fuck would you do that?" I snap at him. I do believe that I am the one paying the man's salary and I am the one that is demanding the information.

"As I said sir, unless it is an emergency or something he cannot stop from happening without announcing his presence to Miss Steele, then usual day to day things would be disruptive to your schedule." I know he's right but I'm pissed.

"That is not your concern Taylor. I want all his reports sent to me via email or text message. No questions."

"Yes sir. I will forward them to you."

"Good. I'll meet you down in the car in five minutes."

I have to get to this meeting with Roach and the executive board at SIP. Fucking formalities. I know and they know that I will end up with this small shit hole of a publishing firm but they seem to really want to put me through my paces to secure it as they can't understand why I would want to bother with their measly little firm as it is outside the scope of GEH's other holdings. Well that's none of their concern. They don't need to know that I have to make sure that the one person that I can't stop thinking about works there and I have to keep her safe and being that we aren't together anymore this is how I can do that.

_

What a long fucking boring ass meeting. Roach kept going over the same shit over and over with those idiot board members looking on shaking or nodding their heads at him as he did. FUCK. I can't believe I just sat through four fucking hours of financials that showed just how quickly this place is going to go up in flames and they seemed fucking proud of what they are doing! Seriously? There is not one person here running this company that knows what they are doing or if they do they aren't fucking doing it.

Its five o'clock and I'm leaving the building. As I get to the lobby doors I see Ana, her beautiful hair flowing down her back, her ass looks amazing in black skinny jeans and her legs go on forever in those heels. Fuck she's gorgeous and I can't even see her face! She's talking to Taylor. Then I see Gideon Cross getting out of a Bentley parked behind my SUV. He walks up to Ana and puts his hand possessively on her lower back. She looks up and smiles at him and on tip toes reaches to kiss his cheek! What the fuck?! I'm heading out the doors now; heading right for them. I will get her to talk to me even if its for a few minutes.

I see her turn and notice me coming. I can see every muscle in her body freeze with tension. Cross says something in her ear. She's whispering something back and his arm snakes around her pulling her into that damn protective stance that I saw in the pictures of them in New York. Protect her from me? Why would he think that she would need protection from me? I would never do anything to physically harm her ever...never again as I flash to the incident in my playroom momentarily.

I put on my mask of indifference, "Mr. Cross. Anastasia." Cross greets me back but Ana hasn't said two words. Thinking I could get her to say something I ask her how she's been. She doesn't say anything for a moment but then it's like she pleads with him. "Gideon? Please." What the hell! Cross makes nice but then turns and leads her back to his car when she slides in and they drive off.

I can't fucking believe that just happened. I can't believe that he's here in Seattle and she's with him... AGAIN. I have to stop this. I have to protect her. Turning back and climbing into the SUV I grab my blackberry. I make a call to Claude, I need to beat the hell out of something or someone, so I make sure he's available for a training session. He confirms he will meet me at Escala at six thirty.

Realizing that Cross is here, tomorrow is Thursday and SIP's meeting with the other interested party, I make another call. "Welch. Gideon Cross is in town. See what you can find out about Cross Industries being interested in SIP before the buyer meeting tomorrow. I want to know if its him or not."

"Yes sir. On it."

Knowing I'll have an answer tonight I hang up. Exhaling. I can't believe this shit is happening. Is that why Cross is interested at Ana? Is there some way he found out about she and I? To stop me from buying a failing publishing house? FUCK! I need to hit something!


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and new follows/favorites. **

** Here's another from Christian's point of view. I hope ya'll like it. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! **

** I'll try to get another chapter up tonight. No promises though! J **

** Again I do not own the characters.**

CPOV

Claude and I have been in the ring going at one another for the past 45 minutes. He's landed me on my ass twice already. SHIT. I need to focus. I need to clear my head.

"Hell Grey. Focus on what you're doing. Protect that pretty face of yours." As he takes a jab landing it right on my jaw. Shaking my head, I move around the ring looking for an opening. "You're getting slow Grey. What's up? Someone steal your puppy?" He's taunting me. "I don't have a fucking dog." I say as I land a kick to his ribs.

I heard the door to the gym open. Seeing Elliot watching this farce of a training session, I holler out to him that I'll be done in a few minutes.

"There's no power behind your moves Grey. Get your head in the game! No dog? Then what? A business associate?" He swings and misses. "That's not any of your fucking business Claude." I lunge and swing, missing…Shit, I'm getting more pissed.

Elliot then pipes up with "Nope Claude. He wouldn't be upset about a business associate pissing him off. Nope, this is about a girl."

I stop dead. Turning to look at Elliot. "Shut up Elliot." I suddenly land on my ass. Probably not a good idea to stop paying attention to my trainer in the sparing ring. Fuck that hurt. Both he and Elliot are laughing now. "Hell Grey. A girl? You never hinted at a girlfriend before. So this is why you're trying to blow off steam."

"She's not my girlfriend." I stand up. "It's none of your business. You're here for sparring not to analyze me." I climb out of the ring. "Tomorrow," confirming our next session. He just nods as he grabs a bottle of water and a towel.

Elliot has a smirk and adds, "She was though and you still want her to be."

"Fuck off Elliot. She made her decision."

"That's why you wanted me to get information on her trip to New York the other day? Right."

"Elliot." I growl, it's a warning, he needs to know that he is treading on thin ice at the moment. I am not discussing this with him. He doesn't know what happened between Ana and me. He doesn't need to know. "Why are you here?" We've headed back up to my apartment and are now in the great room.

"I stopped by to check on you. See how you're doing. Kate says that Ana's been trying to pretend she's ok but there's still something off. She's been really tired lately." I don't respond to his comments. I know he's trying to get me to give him some insight on what happened but that's not happening.

I can throw him a bone, "She looks fine. I saw her this evening when she left work."

"Did you talk with her?"

"She didn't even acknowledge my presence. She was talking to Taylor when I got there. He said she seemed fine." Shaking my head I remember Taylor said that she asked about Gail and him but didn't say a word about me. Then she left with Cross.

"I'm sorry bro. You two are going to have to talk at some point though. Both of you have to figure out what's going on between you."

"You don't fucking think I know that. She wouldn't even acknowledge me Elliot. She left with Cross!"

"What? You mean he's here in town."

"That's what I said isn't it?"

"Look. Kate and I are heading over to her apartment. I left some plans there I need to get for tomorrow then we're heading to mom and dad's for dinner. You're coming with us. You know mom will love to see you."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. You either come with us or I'll call mom and tell her you're sick." Smirking at me. "You know she'll be over as fast as she can and when she sees you like this she's going to demand answers."

"Fuck Elliot. I'm not fucking sick! You would lie to mom?" I bellow at him.

"It's not a lie. You are sick. Heartsick!" He's fucking laughing. God sometimes my big brother is a fucking child!

"Fine, I'll go. But don't ever pull the mom card on me again about this Elliot. You won't like the outcome. I'll be ready in 15 minutes." Turning towards my room to shower.

Elliot's on the phone when I walk back in the room. "Ready?"

"Yeah. We have to stop and pick up Kate."

"Let's just go." Stalking to the elevator, pushing the button. Shaking my head. I can't believe I am doing this. All because I don't want to have to explain to my mother that I fucked up with Ana. Now I get to spend the evening with my ass of a brother and his ball busting girlfriend that just so happens to be Ana's best friend. Maybe I can turn this to my advantage. Maybe Kate will drop some information regarding Ana. Maybe she can tell me why Cross is in town. Who am I kidding? Kate despises me. I've never done anything to her but she is more than frigid when we've been in the same room. Fuck this is going to be a long night.

Pulling up outside the girls' apartment after picking up Kate, she says that she has to change and that I might as well come up so that I don't have to wait in the car as she and Elliot climb out. I'd rather wait in the car but Elliot just looks at me and gives me a dirty look, so I get out and follow them into the building and upstairs.

Opening the door and entering the apartment I notice the open floor plan. Nice, I think to myself…I turn when I hear Kate gasp, "Ana!?"

She's here? She left with Cross. How was I not informed that she came back here after she left with Cross. I had this conversation with Taylor. That fucking covert screwed up again and didn't inform me of Miss Steele's whereabouts! I could have avoided her. I could have avoided seeing her arms wrapped around another man. What the hell. It feels like someone's twisting a knife in me. She's supposed to be kissing me like that not someone else and especially not Gideon fucking Cross!

I look again and see them both in the kitchen. Ana is sitting on counter, Cross is between her legs. He's stepping away and she's turning a beautiful shade of red. Clearly embarrassed to be caught. Then I notice that she's looking straight at me as she climbs down from the counter and I know that I'm glaring at her.

"What are you doing here" directing her question straight at me. Fuck if I know. Shit. I didn't expect this and all I can concentrate on is Cross's hand resting on her hip. FUCK! She's letting that asshole touch her. I'm the only one that's touched her possessively like that and I'm pissed that she's letting some asshole that she barely knows do the same.

Elliot chooses then to answer, "We were on our way to dinner with my parents and realized that I left some drawings here the other night that I need for Christian. So we stopped by to get them." He looks nervous. What he didn't think this could be possible? Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea.

Ana is completely ignoring everyone in the room. Looking at me with those big beautiful blue eyes, but they're different. There's hurt there and anger. What the hell? Why is she hurt, she walked out on me not the other way around!

"Again, I'm going to ask you why you are here." Again she's directing the question to me. Kate tries to interject. Seeing Ana upset and Gideon possessively holding her and me staring at the two of them with nothing but abject anger and not a little jealousy. But Ana just shoots her down and almost screaming asks me again.

Kate and Elliot leave the room. I guess to get the plans that he needs for tomorrow. Great fucking great. They left me alone in a room with Cross and the woman that … fuck

I notice Cross' hand pulling her back into that fucking protective stance. He's feels the need to protect her from me? I'm not the one that she needs protection from…

All I can say is, "I asked you a question outside SIP earlier. You didn't answer." She just looks at me like I've lost my mind, "I don't have to answer any questions you ask me Christian. I don't owe you an answer. I don't owe you a thing. I think you should leave. Maybe wait for Elliot and Kate outside."

Wait, what? She's kicking me out. Over my dead fucking body am I leaving her here alone with him. I've seen him in action and know what he's capable of doing. No fucking way. "I'm not going anywhere Anastasia. Not as long as he's here."

"What! Really? When the hell did you get to decide WHO I have in my home? You don't own me Christian. You don't get to order me around and expect me to submit to your every whim!"

I can't believe she just fucking said that. I'm getting more furious with every passing minute. My eyes narrow, "Careful, Ms. Steele. And like I said. I'm not going anywhere while he's here."

At that moment fucking Cross has to add his two fucking cents, "Look, Grey. I don't know what's going on here but obviously Ana doesn't want you here for whatever reason. Don't escalate this any further than it already has. She's asked you to leave. Just go."

Escalate. I'll fucking show him escalate. He needs to get his fucking hands off her now, "Fuck you Cross. This has nothing to do with you. Stay the fuck out of it!"

"It has everything to do with me. When I'm here invited by the woman that lives here that I happen to be seeing and you're here making a fool out of yourself! Demanding answers that you're not entitled to."

Who the hell does he think he is? How the fuck would he know what I'm entitled to or not? I show him just what I'm entitled to, taking steps towards him,"This is none of your business, Cross!"

Ana's looks at me, "Christian, just go. Leave. I don't want you here." I look at her for a moment, realizing that she's pleading with me not to start anything and all I know is that she shouldn't be alone with him and a little petulantly I respond, "No."

She smirks at me, "Gideon? I can't be here with him. Can we leave please?" What is she trying to infuriate me more? I know my face shows the shock. I can't stop it, my eyes bulge out of my head.

The asshole looks down on her smiling, "Sure thing sweet girl. Anything you want." I can't believe when she takes his hand, grabs her purse and jacket and tries walking by me to leave. I reach out and grab her arm. There it is that jolt of electricity that I know she still feels. "Ana. Please. You don't know what you're doing. He's dangerous. You won't be safe. Please."

She jerks her arm away, sneering at me, "What and you think that you're not dangerous for me or that I'll be safe with you?! Fuck You Christian! I can make my own decisions. I don't need you to dictate to me what I need to do or who I can be around. I make those decisions." Turning to Cross, "Lets go."

Wait! What? I'm not trying to make decisions for her. I just want her safe and protected. How the hell can I do that if she won't even talk to me? I hear Cross ask here where to and hearing her say "Your hotel" I completely blanche. What the fuck? Maybe she is fucking him? Damn that mental picture!

I have to get out of here. Elliot can go kick rocks somewhere. I'm not going to dinner with him and Kate to our parents. I pull out my blackberry, call Taylor to come get me and then call Flynn. I'm not going to get through this without talking to him and if it's not now I don't know what will end up broken or destroyed. But one thing is for sure, and that's that I will make sure Ana will see that being with Cross is not good for her. That she needs to be with me. That I'll be the one for her, not him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**A/N: Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. I hope ya'll enjoy! :-)**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

*************************

APOV

Waking up hearing the shower I remember yesterday. Burying my head back under the covers groaning I still can't believe everything that happened. Christian. Damn him. Why did he have to show up at my apartment? I can't figure it out. And yesterday at SIP? What the hell was he doing there?

And then there's Gideon. I'm so confused right now. I know he's on the other side of that door, naked, wet and possibly slick with soap. Smiling to myself, I think of how lucky I've been in meeting him. He ended his vacation early to spend time with me and Christian ends up almost ruining the night. I had to explain to him what little I could about Christian and I and he heard me out without pressing for more information. I like that he doesn't pressure me to tell him more than I'm willing to share with him. Actually, that makes me want to share more and more with him. But in all honesty there's not much in the relationship department that I can share. Christian was the only man that I have ever been attracted to other than Gideon. He's protective without being overbearing about it. I haven't seen a demanding streak yet but I know there's one there. You don't build a company, from the ground up and it be as successful as his, without being demanding. There's a lot of similarities between him and Christian. More than I care to admit, I think, there are a lot of differences too.

He's patient. He reflects on the situation at hand before he makes a snap decision. I haven't seen him be particularly controlling; though that's probably there too. He lets me take the lead. Again, he doesn't pressure me into his way of thinking. He listens to what I have to say and then if he doesn't agree with my opinion, he'll try to get me to see his point of view on the matter. Giving me something to think about, chew on, wrap my head around so to speak, to see if I'll change my opinion of the matter. But even if I don't it's not an argument or a fight. I'm beginning to realize that I don't have to walk on eggshells around him. That he's not going to fight me on every little thing.

I feel the bed move beside me. I didn't hear the water shut off. He must be out of the shower. Slowly the duvet is pulled back from my face. He's smirking at me, "Good morning sweet girl."

"Good morning to you too," I say looking up at him through my eye lashes. Noticing his chest is bare. Wow, this man is ripped. His body is amazing. Wide shoulders, muscular arms, carved abs. Hell, I knew his body was good but... just hell. He's wearing just a towel around his waist. He leans forward and water droplet fall from his hair onto my face causing me to giggle as he apologizes and wipes the drop from my cheek then kisses me. "It's time to get up. Yes its early but I have a meeting in Portland so I have to get moving and I suppose that you will want to get dressed for work, so we'll need to get you to your apartment. Do you want to shower here or there?"

Looking over at the clock and realizing that its just 6:00 am I know that I'll have plenty of time to take a shower at home. So that's just what I say.

"Ok, shower at home then, " smiling at me, "I'm going to the other room to get dressed, we'll be ready to leave in 15 minutes. Get up. Brush your teeth, there's a fresh toothbrush in the bathroom for you." He stands and heads out to the other room to change.

I get up once he closes the door and see the hoodie he got for me last night folded on the chair across the room. I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and notice that the room smells just like Gideon. Musky but clean. Must be his body wash. I shake my head clearing it of thoughts of washing Gideon in the shower with that body wash. Oh my, to be able to run my hands freely over that body... Evidently, I am becoming more attracted to him the more he's around. Moving to the counter there's a pink toothbrush still in is packaging along with a hairbrush and hair ties. Giggling to myself I look up in the mirror and think that this man is freaking amazing. He knows no woman will go out with 'bed head' so the minimum that she would need in the morning is a hair tie! Thank goodness for his thoughtfulness because I don't even have one in my purse.

After brushing my teeth and hair and putting my hair up in a bun secured by the hair tie I head out to the main room of the suite. Gideon is just coming out of the other room looking all super CEO sexy in a navy blue custom three piece suit, light blue shirt and grey and blue patterned tie. Wow. The man oozes sex on legs in a suit. He's looking at me smiling, holding out his hand. As I take it he asks if I'm ready to go. Nodding my head he leads me to the door and we head down to the lobby.

He's quiet on the ride down and looks a little pensive. "What's wrong?" I ask as we get into his Bentley. "Ana, I have something that I want to discuss with you and want you to agree to but honestly don't know that you will. But it would make me feel better if you did."

"Tell me what it is and we'll go from there, ok?"

"Well first off, I didn't like the way that Grey was with you yesterday. I've been trying to figure out why he was at your office yesterday..."

"I've been wondering that myself." He's looking at me and his eyes darken and narrow just a bit... oh yeah, interrupting...pet-pev. "Sorry, interrupting again." He smirks and shakes his head.

"Yes, well I have asked my staff to look into it. It looks like Grey is trying to buy the company."

"What!? Ok, interrupting or not you can't expect me to be quiet when you say that! Why the hell would he want to buy the company I work for?"

"I'm not sure sweet girl. But I made you a promise in New York and the same promise yesterday. Everything's gonna be fine.I've got you. remember?"

"Yes."

"I have to leave town today. I'll be gone until late this evening around 7 pm or 8 pm. I don't want you alone. I don't want you without someone that can help you get out of a situation that you may not want to be in if Grey decides to ambush you and I'm not around."

"Gideon, I'm going to have to deal with him at some point. And you know, you won't always be here, your business is in New York and you live there. You can't always protect me. I have to protect myself AND I have to deal with Christian too."

"I know that. But it would make me feel better Ana, for today please."

"What do you want for today Gideon? Me to take the day off, me to go with you to Portland? Tell me what is bothering you because you haven't gotten to the point yet." I'm getting a little frustrated at this point. There's something he wants but he's not saying it and I wish he would just get to the heart of the matter already.

"Ok fine. I'm leaving Angus here with you while I'm in Portland. He's going to watch over you, make sure everything is ok and that you won't need any assistance. You won't see him but he'll be watching you. I ... well I just wanted you to know."

The shock and the horror must have registered on my face when he just looked at me sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. "Ana, it will make me feel better and I'll be able to concentrate on business if I'm not worrying about Grey starting anything."

"First off, who is Angus." I hear "Good morning ma'am" from the front seat of the Bentley as an older gentleman turns and looks at me. Gideon answers, "Angus worked for my family when I was a teenager and has been my personal bodyguard and driver, go-to man ever since I started my company 9 years ago. He's always had my best interests at heart and has proven through the years to be completely trustworthy. Ana, please allow me this."

Sighing deeply. Why do men of power think that they have to put everyone they care about in freaking gilded cages. I don't want to be monitored. I'll feel like I'm being spied on and I voice this to Gideon, "Will he stop me from doing what I want to do for the day? Will he report to you everything that I do?" My concern for about this clearly evident on my face.

Gideon chuckles at my look of concern. "It's not funny Gideon. Will he?"

"No sweet girl. He will just be there in case you need him. That's all."

I little petulantly I agree, "Fine but I don't have to like it Gideon. Just this once."

Smiling like he just won the freaking lottery, Gideon reaches over and takes my hand, "thank you sweet girl. It's a weight off my shoulders since I found out last night that Grey is trying to buy SIP."

"I still don't understand why he's doing that." Shaking my head. "Me, either but I'll venture that it has to do with you," is all Gideon says.

The car is stops outside my apartment. The driver gets out, opens my door and as I get out Gideon gets out on the other side. Walking hand in hand to the front of the building he again holds his hand out for my keys to the building. Before he opens the door he takes my face in both his hands, leans down and kisses me. I raise my hands to his chest pulling at the lapels of his suit jacket and pull him in closer to me as I open my mouth for him. Groaning, his tongue slips in invading me. He pulls away, those beautiful blue eyes of his dark with desire. "I never get tired of kissing you. Meet me for a late dinner tonight?"

I nod my acceptance, "Ok. Now off you go. Go buy a new business," I giggle. "I'll see you tonight."

He unlocks the apartment building door, opening it for me and hands me back my key. "If you need me, call." Then bends to give me another quick kiss on the lips as he ushers me in. I smile and head up to my apartment.

Once inside, I head straight to the bathroom to shower. After showering and reflecting on my morning with Gideon. I realize that he just wants to protect me without overstepping boundaries. It proves that he will respect any boundaries that I may have and its just another thing about him that I like. Huge bonus points for Mr. Cross regarding that.

After getting dressed I head to the kitchen to make some tea before heading out. Kate is sitting at the breakfast bar eating a bowl of cereal. She's not a great cook but even she can pour cereal in a bowl and pour milk over it.

"Good morning Kate." She jumps about two feet in her chair.

"Jesus Steele you scare the bejesus out of me!" I laugh and apologize.

"I didn't know you were home. You left so quickly last night." She's eyeing me with a little concern and a lot of curiosity.

"Well, we had an unexpected house guest last night Kate that I couldn't get to leave so I left to make the situation a little easier for me to handle," I sound a bit harsh but I'm still upset that she would bring Christian here. "And I got home about 45 minutes ago."

"Oh. Look I'm sorry about last night. I honestly didn't know Christian was going to be with us. Elliot and I had plans to meet his parents for dinner last night and when Elliot picked me up Christian was with him."

"Look Kate, it is what it is alright. Christian and I aren't together. You're my best friend and roommate and Christian is your boyfriend's brother. I'm going to have to get used to him being around. I just wasn't prepared for it last night is all, so I left."

Smiling Kate says, "but you looked like you were having such a good time when we got here!" Laughing at the situation.

"Yeah. We were," snickering at the memory of being walked in on. My limited will power and ten minutes later Lord knows what they would have walked in on. Oh God, now I'm really glad it was just a kiss.

"So how was the rest of your night?"

"It was ok. We went to Gideon's hotel ...don't look at me like that. Nothing happened. We talked. I told him about Christian. Not that he couldn't figure it out on his own especially after running into Christian outside SIP yesterday afternoon."

"What! You two ran into Christian outside of your office?"

"Yeah," shaking my head. "I'm gonna be late, I have to head out we can finish this over lunch if your free?"

"Sure Steele. Meet you around noon?"

"Ok, I'll text you." I say as I grab my purse, jacket and tea and head for the door.

Heading out of the building, I see the Bentley still in front. Angus gets out and opens the door for me. "Angus, why is the car still here. I have mine we could have used. Didn't Gideon need this?"

"No ma'am..." I interrupt him, "if this is going to work Angus you're gonna have to call me Ana."

"How about Miss Ana?"

"Fine. But no ma'am and no Miss Steele, got it?"

The man just smiles at me and nods, "Mr. Cross had another car ordered to meet him here this morning. This one is at your disposal today, as am I. Please don't worry. I promise to blend into the background. You won't even notice me."

Angus has a gentle voice and clear green eyes. I instantly like the man. "Ok. Just so that you know, I'm meeting a friend for lunch so I'll be leaving the building about noon."

"I'll have the car ready," he says as he closes the door and we head off to work.

Still thinking about my conversation with Kate about the fact that Christian is going to be around because of Elliot. I pull out my phone and send an email.

_  
TO: Christian Grey

FROM: Anastasia Steele

SUBJECT: Yesterday

TIME: 8:20 a.m. PST

We need to discuss yesterday's events. Soon.

Anastasia Steele  
Assistant to Jack Hyde  
Seattle Independent Publishing  
_

Taking a deep breath and letting it go. I think to myself that I am not quite ready for this conversation but time to pull up the big girl panties and deal with outcome of this entire mess.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**A/N: Unexpected snow storm left me with some time to write today. I hope ya'll like!**

**Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. :-)**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

**CPOV**

It's Thursday morning, Another day without Anastasia. I'm in my office with my head in my hands. I didn't get any sleep last night, not that I've gotten much in the past month anyway. But last night there was no revieve from my thoughts. I can't believe that Cross was at Anastasia's apartment last night. He looked so at home and comfortable there. Hell why wouldn't he, she invited him there. He was wanted there and she made it clear that I wasn't.

He had his hands all over her. Right there in the fucking kitchen no less. Where anyone could've walked in, and did! Hell if we had off walked in ten minutes later who knows what we would have seen going on between the two of them. FUCK! These mental pictures of Ana with Cross have got to go!

I want that to be me. I want to be the one that was standing there beween her legs while she's on the kitchen counter with her arms wrapped around my neck, fingers curled in my hair pulling me in for a long passionate kiss. Letting my hands roam her body. Feeling the fullness of her breasts the softness of her skin... Shit this is not helping either. Now I have a massive hard on and no way to relieve it other than my hand, and well that's not going to happen here!

I hear my email going off. Deciding work is a good way to forget my daydream I open my email and see a message from Ana. What? Seriously? My heart skips a beat and I realize I'm holding my breath as I open the message.

TO: Christian Grey

FROM: Anastasia Steele

SUBJECT: Yesterday

TIME: 8:20 a.m. PST

We need to discuss yesterday's events. Soon.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde

Seattle Independant Publishing

What the... she wants to discuss yesterday? Just yesterday? What about the past month and a half? What about what she said to me before she walked out that door? What about when she failed to safeword? Why she didn't? What about when she said that she wanted more from me? What about the so called feelings she said that she had for me and the fact that she has gotten over them so quickly? Yes, we have a few things to discuss, not just yesterday.

TO: Anastaia Steele

FROM: Christian Grey

SUBJECT: We can...

TIME: 8:35 a.m. PST

...talk about yesterday. But there are other things to discuss as well Anastasia. I am available this evening. I can pick you up at 6 pm, we can have dinner and talk as you wish.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

She said soon. So tonight should be fine. Hopefully she will agree. I think the sooner we can get this over and done with the better. Then I can make sure Cross heads back to New York and she will be mine again. There's a ping. Let's see what little Miss Steele says...

TO: Christian Grey

FROM: Anastasia Steele

SUBJECT: Tonight...

TIME: 8:40 a.m. PST

... I already have plans, so I can't.

I did say soon and I meant it. How about tomorrow?

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde

Seattle Independant Publishing

Fuck. She's busy tonight? I bet its with that ass Cross. I really don't want her anywhere near him. If he loses his temper anywhere near her she could really be in trouble. I've seen what the outcome of that is.

TO: Anastaia Steele

FROM: Christian Grey

SUBJECT: That's easy...

TIME: 8:43 a.m. PST

...cancel your plans and then we can discuss at length our issues.

I can't tomorrow. My parents fundraiser is tomorrow night. I don't suppose that you would like to attend as my date?

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes

. What the hell is taking her so long to answer my question. Hearing the ping again. I finally see her response.

TO: Christian Grey

FROM: Anastasia Steele

SUBJECT: Are you...

TIME: 8:52 a.m. PST

... crazy?

First off, I won't cancel my plans just to appease your sense of control.

Thank you for the kind offer to be your date but no thank you.

Tell you what. I have some work to get done for my boss. How about I just call you tonight? We can discuss this over the phone? This does not have to be a face to face and the sooner the better, I won't cancel my plans tonight and you have plans tomorrow. It won't take much time. Just a few minutes.

Anastasia Steele

Assistant to Jack Hyde

Seattle Independant Publishing

My sense of control? If she had any idea of the amount of control I do have she would know that its taking all that control to stay seated here in my office and not to head over to SIP and carry her out so that we could finally discuss all this between us. But it was worth a shot to see if I could get her to change her plans.

I didn't really think she would go for attending the fundraiser with me but again worth the shot in trying. I would love to see her all dressed up and a gorgeous gown.

Really, a phone call. No. I need to see her face when I talk to her. See those big beautiful blue eyes. You can see every emotion on her face I would rather her not be able to hide behind the phone lines when we talk this through.

TO: Anastaia Steele

FROM: Christian Grey

SUBJECT: Crazy?

TIME: 8:55 a.m. PST

...Who me?

I agree this needs to be face to face. A phone call won't do. I am free all day Saturday. Call me tonight with a time and we can do it then.

I'll let you get back to work as I do have to get back to work too.

Have a good day Anastasia.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I do want to hear her voice so I leave Saturday open for her to decide when we can meet and talk. I hate waiting but I'll wait for her. Hell, I've been waiting since the day I met her. It feels like I might just have to get used to it, where she's concerned.

**APOV**

Getting to work I find that Christian has emailed me back. What the...He wants to pick me up tonight and have dinner. That's not going to happen. Gideon and I already have plans and I don't think I am going to cancel just because Christian seems to think soon means right now.

I let him know I have plans and that I can't and ask him about tomorrow. He responds with telling me to cancel my plans and that his parent's fundraiser is tomorrow evening and requests that I be his date! Wow! Controlling much? Like I would just cancel plans because he deigns to spare some time to talk about our situation? I am not about to allow him to continue to try to control me anymore. I am not his sub! I let him know that I will not call off my plans for the evening nor will I go with him to his parents fundraiser and tell him that we can discuss this over the phone tonight.

I just want to speak with him about randomly showing up at my home and that we need to find a middle ground to be around each other for the sakes of Elliot and Kate. There can't be so much animousity between us. We're going to have to get along for their sakes. It's going to be hard but I can do this for Kate and he should be able to do this for Elliot. It shouldn't take much time to let him know what I'm thinking. It shouldn't be a long conversation so I should still have plenty of time to get ready for dinner with Gideon.

I also don't have time to keep dealing with this right now. Jack was in meetings yesterday and is in meetings again today. I am continuing to hold the fort down, so to speak, with his authors and the new manuscripts that need summaries and filing. There are also some urgent emails from the executive board with details that need clarification while the meetings are going on upstairs. So I have to hop to it and get them their answers quickly. Thankfully, Jack did a lot of the compliations last week and they are in his office.

At 9:30 am I notice that there is one more email from Christian. He says a phone will not satisfy him. What does he want a pound of flesh? He has to see me? I don't really want to see him. This can be rectified on the phone. I don't know how much control I will have by myself with Christian. What am I supposed to do now? Maybe I will just call him tonight anyway. Then I don't have to see him on Saturday? Shit! Damn Kate I hope you know how much I love you for doing this!

The day is finally over. Its quarter past five and I'm heading out of the office and Angus is there in with the Bentley just like at lunch. I smile at the thought when I saw Kate at the resturaunt that we agreed to meet at for lunch. She was surprised to say the least, demanding to know what happened with Gideon and I last night. I explained again that we just talked and nothing physical actually happened. But that he has a protective streak and as I was so upset with what happened with Christian yesterday he felt better leaving Angus and the Bentley with me. Her eyes opened wide and she just said why? I told her about his meetings in Portland and that he wouldn't be back until later tonight and he just wanted to make sure that I would be ok without him here.

"He does know that you live here and he lives in New York, right? What's he going to do, hire a guard and a car for you when he goes home?" Kate asks.

"I told him that. He just said that it would be for today. He's concerned because he found out that Christian is trying to buy SIP."

Almost choking on the water she was sipping Kate yelled, "What! Christian's buying SIP?"

"I don't know Kate. He was there last night when I was leaving coming out of the building and last night after we got to Gideon's hotel and talked, Gideon wanted to know why he was there and he found out that was why." Shugging my shoulders. I mean I want to know if this is true and if it is I most definately will not be happy about it. It means that I will have to find another job. I can't work for my ex-boyfriend or whatever he considers himself to be.

We wrapped up lunch and she told me that she would be staying at Elliot's place tonight as she hugs me goodbye. I told her no worries that Gideon and I were going to dinner when he got back but that it would just be me at the apartment. She quirked an eyebrow at me and said that I didn't have to be alone tonight if I didn't want to be. She promised no surprise visitors!

We've made it back to the apartment. I thanked Angus for today and told him I appreciated his help AND the fact that in all honesty even though I knew he was around he never made himself known. He smiled kindly at me and just said that that was part of the job; to be there if needed but not to be seen. I really liked this man. He reminded me of Ray. I smile to myself as I enter my apartment.

Deciding to shower and change first before I call Christian and try to get this conversation out of the way, I head into my bedroom and find an outfit to wear for dinner. I decide on a simple navy blue wrap jersey knit long sleeved top that accentuates my chest and a white and blue stripped skirt that hits just above the knee and then head to Kate's bedroom to find a pair of nude heels and a matching handbag. I have plenty of flats but not knowing where we are heading for dinner I want to make sure that I am dressed for whatever Gideon has decided. I transfer the contents of my purse into Kate's bag then head into the shower.

After showering I dry my hair and and get dressed adding a little light make-up I know that I am ready and looking at the clock its only 6:45 pm. Not bad I think to myself, find outfit, shower, shave, moisturize, dry and style hair, get dressed and do face in an hour and a half. Yep, that's not bad at all, I think to myself giggling.

I realize that I have to call Christian now. No sense of putting it off any longer. I pull out my phone and shakily I dial his number. He doesn't answer and I end up in voicemail.

"Uh...Christian. It's Ana. Look if you get this message before eight tonight give me a call," and I quickly hang up. I really didn't think that I would have to leave a message this late. Shaking my head all I can think is that he is going to force this into a face to face and I really don't know if I can handle that right now. I know I still love him. I think I always will but I need to put him behind me. I'm not the right person for him. His needs are too extreme for me to handle. I won't ever be enough for him and I'm not going to mope around anymore. Gideon has shown me in the last week what it could be like to have a 'normal' relationship and I am discovering that that is exactly what I want.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Snow days! I hope you like this one too. I don't know that I will get to post this weekend as I have to work so I wanted to make sure that you at least got 2 chapters today!.**

**Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. I hope ya'll enjoy! :-)**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

**APOV**

The door buzzer rings startling me from my reverie. I look at the clock and see that it is 7:30 pm. It must be Gideon. I buzz him in and open the door when he knocks.

Looking up to him, smiling a little shyly all I can say is "Hi.'

He smiles that one dimple smile that melts my heart a little more every time I see it and walks into the apartment, kicking the door shut with his foot on the way. Finally reaching me he wraps me up around the waist in his strong muscular arms, lifting me from the ground and kisses me square on the lips. Its a demanding kiss but not forcefully demanding. Almost one of possessiveness. His tongue gains entrance to my mouth and dances with mine and I feel myself getting drenched. He pulls away. Resting his forehead on mine and whispers, "Hi."

He sets me back on my feet and I giggle, "Why Mr. Cross, did you miss me today?" Smiling broadly at him.

"I could think of nothing I wanted to do more sweet girl than what I just did," he responds smirking at me. "You look amazing by the way. You ready for dinner?"

"Thank you," I say as I curtsey for him. He laughs at my play on etiquette. I really do love his laugh. Its rich and deep, resonating though the room. "Yes, going to tell me where we're going?"

"I thought we could go to this little french bistro. What do you think?"

"That sounds wonderful," I say.

He grabs my hand, raises it to his lips and kisses the back then tucks it in the crook of his arm and says, "Well then sweet girl, lets go! I'm hungry."

I'm laughing on the way out the door. He takes my keys from me and locks up the apartment never letting go of my hand in his arm.

We get to the bistro and its really romantic. Candlelight, violinist, wonderful food; it's perfect. We discuss our days. Of course, mine is nothing compared to his. He purchased a small but struggling PR firm and was going through the financials with a fine tooth comb and deciding who would retain their jobs.

A horrified expression caused him to tell me that although he has a PR firm in New York he needed one out here on the west coast as he was expanding his company to this side of the country. He said that he had to be able to trust the people that work for him especially if the main office is so far from his headquarters and there were some issues with the finances. Money missing or not accounted for and that whoever he discovered was responsible would have to be terminated. It wasn't something that he wanted to do. He wanted the entire team but he needed to trust that team. I understood that.

After dinner I finally told him that I contacted Christian.

"What! Why?" His face darkened and he looked a little more than angry.

"Because Gideon. He and I have ... well we have issues that need to be discussed."

Furrowing his brow, "I know that Ana, but couldn't you have waited until I could be there?"

"Why would you need to be there Gideon? He's my ex boyfriend for Godsake. Why would you WANT to be there?" I'm getting upset. Is he trying to control things too. Maybe he is more like Christian than I want to believe.

"I need to be there to make sure that your ok. I want to be there to show you support Ana. Its not something that I would prefer to do but I will to make sure that your safe and that he doesn't cause you any harm. Especially after yesterday." He's quiet when he says this but there's enough force behind his words and enough sincerity that I don't think it's a control issue for him.

"I just wanted to talk to him about us getting along, for Kate and Elliot's sake. Elliot is his brother, Kate is my best friend. Our paths are going to cross and I need to know that what happened yesterday won't happen everytime they do. Can you understand that?"

Shaking his head but looking me intently in the eyes, "I can. I just wished I could have been with you when you had this talk."

"We haven't yet. He didn't answer my call this evening. He wants to meet Saturday."

Suddenly the waiter came over with a bottle of champagne. All he said was "complements". I look at Gideon puzzeled and he looks the same. As the waiter is pouring to glasses I notice the pink color.

The color drained from my face and Gideon asked, "Ana, are you ok?"

As I'm shaking my head my phone starts to ring. It's Christian. I answer, "Christian. Why are you doing this?"

Gideon looks pissed as I answer the phone and he realizes its Christian. I takes my hand and gives me a reassuring squeeze. He doesn't know the champagne is from Christian but I do...

"Hello to you too Anastasia." He smirks. "And I haven't done anything. I just got your message from earlier and was returning your call."

Smug bastard. He knows what I'm talking about. He's trying to play a game, but that's hard to do when your the only one playing. "The champagne Christian, why?" I say quietly.

Gideon's head jerks up at that statement. Looking at me with disbelief. I just look him straight in the eye and shake my head and I know my eyes look lost.

"Well you and Cross looked to be celebrating something or another. Sitting so cozily next to each other. I thought you could use the champagne to make your toast." The disdain is dripping from his voice.

"You're watching us? You're spying on me? What's wrong with you Christian!" My voice is definately louder than normal but I am trying not to scream at him.

Gideon waves the waiter over, hands him his card and tells him we're ready to go then pulls out his phone and I assume calls Angus as he requests the car be brought up. The waiter is back and Gideon signs the slip, takes my hand and we head out. The Bentley is by the curb, he ushers me in.

Christian's still on the line. "You haven't answered me?"

Quietly he says, "We do need to talk. Not tonight. Saturday. Good night Anastasia," and he hangs up.

What the hell! Shit now I'm going to have to explain his stalker tendencies to Gideon. He's going to want to know why I didn't tell him this last night. UGH! I shake my head and look out the window of the car watching the buildings go by but not really seeing them. I can't believe that he is watching me.

We get to my apartment and I realize that my nice wonderful night with this amazing man has been ruined by one Christian Grey and myself. All because I could have been more forthcoming in the information that I gave him the night before and because Christian litterly is a stalker extraordinaire.

I tell Gideon to make himself at home and ask if he wants some wine. I'm going to have a glass myself and he agrees to join me. He hasn't said anything else but the look on his face says everything. He wants answers.

I explain that Christian likes to control everything around him. That he needs that to feel secure. When he doesn't have it he tends to resort to certain spying techniques to feel that control. If he knows what I'm doing or where I'm at then he feels more in control of the situation.

He looks at me, leans over and kisses me. His soft lips to mine and looks at me with all seriousness and says, "Maybe that's why he is looking to purchase SIP. To keep tabs on you?"

"What? No. You don't really think so do you?"

"Yes. After yesterday and what you just said. Yes I do think that's why he wants it so badly. But now I'm feel even better that you let Angus stay with you while I was away today," Ihesmiles slightly like he won a battle with me this morning or something.

I giggle, "Gideon you can't leave Angus here everytime you go somewhere. You live in New York. I live here. I reminded you of that this morning. It was just for the day remember?"

"I can make sure that someone is here for you," he responds pretty dryly "Especially now that we know he is stalking you or spying on you whatever you want to call it."

"No Gideon, you won't do that. I won't let you take my freedom away from me just in an ill-concieved notion to keep me safe. Christian won't hurt me. I just don't have it in me to deal with him right now. Once I do this will all blow over and you can stop worrying."

He looks at me and I know he doesn't like what I'm saying to him. I can feel the tension radiating off his body. He wants to do something. Almost like he wants to control the entire outcome of this mess that has come out of me dating Christian Grey.

I scoot closer to him and facing him I put my hand on his cheek. Gently stroking his high cheekbone and give him back his own words, "Everythings going to be fine," and smile shyly up at him.

He smiles back at me leaning his head into my hand and wraps his arm around me pulling me closer to his chest. He kisses the top of my head and quietly says, "I know. I just don't like it. I don't like being able to judge the outcome of something. I want to know your safe, that you're ok. I've come to care a great deal about you Ana."

I lean back and look into those beautiful sapphire blue eyes and gently kiss his soft lips, "I know Gideon. I care about you too. But you can't control everything and you have to allow me to control my own life. Nothing will push me away quicker than you taking that from me. Ok?"

His face doesn't change expression. His lips are hard, pressed together. His jaw tense like he's locking his jaw shut but his eyes, there's so much pain. He nods in agreement but doesn't say a word for a few minutes. Then he tells me that he has to go back to New York on Sunday. He wanted to spend the day with me on Saturday. All day but with Christian basically demanding that we met that day it means that there will be some time that we won't be together; and he looks more than depressed about that.

I shake my head and ask him how I can make it up to him. He turns looks me right in the face and then says that I can be his date tomorrow night. I giggle, agree and ask him where we're going. He bends, kisses my nose and says that I will find out tomorrow. Then tells me that Angus will pick me up at work at 5 sharp and will have everything that I need for the evening when he does.

I just shake my head, laugh tell him that I can't refuse an offer like that. I know this will be something over the top. I snuggle down next to Gideon on the couch, hand him the remote to the t.v. as I lay my arm over his hard stomach. His arm is wrapped around me stroking my arm gently. We sit in silence as he hasn't turned on the t.v. yet. Each in our own last thought I have before nodding off to sleep in Gideon's arms is that Christian, tonight has been one of the most enjoyable I've had.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**A/N: Sorry that it took so long to update. Hopefully, ya'll will like this chapter. ****J**

**I want to say welcome to my new followers and favs. **

**Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. I hope ya'll enjoy! :-)**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I wake as the sun is coming up the next morning. I'm in bed. Not wanting to open my eyes just yet but knowing that I will need to start moving soon, I stretch out my body and realize that I'm not alone in bed. I turn and laying there beside me, leaning on his elbow looking down at me with those staggeringly beautiful sapphire blue eyes and a bright smile is Gideon. My eyes widen just a bit more but then I realize that he still has his clothes on, he's wearing his trousers and an undershirt, I look up at him, "Good morning, you brought me to bed last night?"

"Yes." Simple one word answer…

Hmmm. Let's see if he'll go for more than one syllable so I ask, "Why"

"I could." His smile got a little bigger; if that's at all possible and then I notice that the one dimple has appeared. God, I really like that dimple.

"Obviously," smirking at him and looking down I notice that I'm wearing a tee shirt and yoga pants. I know I didn't change last night before cuddling with him on the couch. "You changed me?"

"Yes." His eyes clouded just a fraction and his smile slipped a bit. It was like he really didn't want me to see what he was thinking. It reminded me of the same thing that Christian does. A mask to hide behind. But he's still sticking with one word, one syllable answers.

"Before I get frustrated any more, so early in the morning, Gideon, tell me why you changed my clothes."

He deliberates what he wants to say before answering, "Fine," smirking at me. "Good morning to you too sweet girl," leaning down to kiss me gently before lying down beside me and putting his hands behind his head, looking at the ceiling. "It's an easy simple answer really I wanted you comfortable. You pretty much passed out on my chest last night while we were sitting on the couch. I carried you in here and laid you down. Did you know you talk in your sleep? Well in case you didn't know you do. You rolled over, grabbed my hand and said 'Gideon don't go'. I thought you were awake, you spoke so clearly."

He turned to look at me, "I noticed your skirt was wrapped tightly around your waist. Must have happened when you rolled over to grab me. But there you were all lace panties showing and I knew if I stayed you needed to be covered." He's giving me a look that says that he wished I was more uncovered than I was. "So I changed you", shrugging his shoulders and turning back to look at the ceiling again.

"Ok. I'm glad you stayed last night though." I couldn't be upset that he changed my clothes because he was just trying to make sure that no boundaries were crossed while we were sleeping and it was rather nice to see those gorgeous eyes and the beautiful smile first thing in the morning.

I rolled over onto Gideon's chest taking him a little by surprise but he looks down at me and starts rubbing my back and has this contented look on his face. I reach up and stroke his high cheekbones with my fingers. I am glad this man has come into my life. I realize that I don't know him that well but in the short time that I've known him he has shown me the utmost consideration. I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with him. There hasn't been all the drama and hassles like those that came with dating Christian.

"What is going though your mind sweet girl?"

I blush knowing that it's too soon to admit to him that I care about him. I fell hard for Christian. I still love him with everything in my heart but I care about the man here next to me too. I reach up and kiss Gideon softly, "I'm going to take a shower," getting up and heading for the bathroom.

Gideon sits up, "Ana, what's wrong?"

Stopping just as I get to the bathroom door, I turn looking at Gideon and honestly answer, "I'm just a little more than confused Gideon. It'll be fine. I promise," and close the bathroom door behind me. While I wait for the shower to heat, I stand looking at myself in the mirror wondering if this person looking back is me. I have changed so much in the last few months since meeting Christian. I know that I'm not anywhere near ready to move on. I have too many unresolved feelings for Christian. Hopefully, when we talk on Saturday I can make Christian understand that we aren't together and that I will never be enough for him. I know that I can't give him what he needs and the more he keeps coming around, for now anyway, makes it almost impossible for me to move past our relationship.

Stepping into the hot water, letting it soothe me and my overwrought brain. I have a great guy, who's currently in my bed, that I can't give myself to completely not only because of Christian Grey but also because of the distance that is between our actual real lives. Gideon lives in New York, I live here in Seattle. I don't know how we would work with more than 3,000 miles between us on a constant basis. My life is here and his is there.

Finishing up in the shower, I step out and dry off wrapping the towel around me I go back into my bedroom. Gideon must have gotten up as he's not in the room. I notice my closet door is open and there is a dark grey pencil skirt and a powder blue blouse hanging from it. I wonder… did Gideon go though my closet and find me an outfit? I love the blouse, it's actually one of my favorites so I go ahead and get dressed adding stockings and back stilettos. I go back into the bathroom and dry my hair, pulling it back into a high ponytail adding mascara and lip gloss. As I am heading out of the bathroom into the bedroom Gideon opens the bedroom door.

"I've made tea. Come have some while it's hot before Angus and I take you to work." His eyes are looking me up and down, stopping at my eyes. There's a smile on his face; one that says he knows something I don't. It shocks me that he would go to the trouble of making tea; I nod and follow him out to the kitchen.

Lord this man can keep me on my toes. He does and says so many things differently from Christian Grey but at the same time there are so many similarities too. He's protective, but seemingly not over protective. He likes control but isn't controlling. He's gentle not domineering. He makes him feel better to take care of me but he doesn't put me in a gilded cage to do so.

Sitting at the breakfast bar, he picks the paper back up and is drinking his coffee and I am sipping my tea. "So what are we going doing tonight?"

He chuckles, "Nope. Not going to tell you. You just need to know that Angus will be at SIP to pick you up at 5 o'clock sharp and will have everything you need. He will bring you back here so you can change and I will be by to pick you up at 6:30 pm. By the way, you look beautiful this morning." He then leans over and kisses me quickly.

I know the look on my face is that of a pout. I want to know. I'm not the biggest fan of surprises. "Thank you. It's about time to head out," I say standing and getting my purse ready to go. Gideon again takes my keys to lock up but this time he doesn't give them back to me, smirking at me he puts them in his pocket and takes my hand and leads me out to the front where Angus is waiting with the car.

Claire, the receptionist, buzzed me to let me know there was a delivery for me at the front desk. When I got down to reception there was a huge vase of light pink and white roses on her desk. Claire spotted me and smiled. I like her but at the same time I've noticed that Claire is the office gossip. She knows everything about everyone in the building, or at least thinks she does.

"Hi, Claire. Those are pretty. You said there was a package delivered for me?" I wasn't expecting anything but with Gideon being so tight lipped about what was going on tonight, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

"Ana, hi! No, not a package. These," as she points to the beautiful vase of flowers, "are for you!"

"Oh! Ok. Thanks. I'll just take them up. They are really pretty. Maybe they can brighten my desk for awhile." I giggle.

"So you know who they're from?" She's looking at me expectantly waiting for my reply. I just shake my head a little.

"I have my suspisions but when I get to my desk I'll check the card." I pick up the vase, "Thanks for letting me know, talk with you later Claire!" I have no want or need to be the subject of today's gossip with Claire, so I turn with the flowers and head back to my desk.

I place the vase on the right side of my desk. They really are exceptionally stunning and wonderfully fragrant. I can honestly say that I have never seen such beautiful cut roses before. I smile to myself and open the card and my mouth almost hits the floor.

_Anastasia,_

_I'm sorry for last night. _

_Christian_

What the hell! Why is he doing this. I don't need reminders of Christian. This man is going to break me! I won't be able to function. I shake my head. No! I won't let him do this to me. Not here, not at my job. He should be sorry about last night. He had no right to follow me or have me followed! Tears are welling in my eyes. Why? Why when I finally start letting go of him does he decide to show up? I get up and head to the bathroom, if I'm going to cry then I might as well do it there; or at least I can clean up the mess of my face when I try to stop the tears.

I close the bathroom door. Thankfully I am the only one in here. I stand at the mirror and try to get my mind back from all things Christian Grey. God, I miss him. I left. I know it was me but he's the one that said it was wrong to love him. He doesn't love me. He can't love me. So why does he keep popping up? There are tears running down my face trying to figure out what it is that he is doing.

I wonder if it is because of Gideon? I mean he didn't show up until after Gideon got into town. I know he saw the pictures. Hell, Elliot saw the pictures! He can't be jealous. He's the one that didn't want more. All he can offer is a contract for crying out loud! I never wanted a contract between us. I wanted a real relationship and I fell head over heels in love with that man for him to turn around and tell me I was wrong. OMG, I feel sick. Nauseous. I run to a stall and up came what little breakfast I had. I can't believe that I am going through this. I am so upset that now I'm throwing up at work? No. I can't let him do this to me. I have to finish my work day.

I head back to my desk and tell Jack that I am heading out for lunch. Taking the offending vase of flowers with me I stop at reception and set the vase back on the corner of the reception desk. "Claire, this vase is just too big for my desk. Why don't you just keep these here. They'll brighten up the reception area."

"Oh Ana. Thank you. You're right they will make the reception area so much more inviting," she exclaims. "Who are they from?" Still trying to find out.

"Just an old friend." That's the best I can say as I turn and head out to go get a tea. I don't much feel like eating anything especially after that scene in the bathroom. I get a tea at a little shop down the street from the building and sit outside at a table to enjoy the sun as we don't get a lot of sunny days here.

I head back to the office and there's another vase of flowers sitting on the opposite corner of Claire's desk now. She waves me down and tells me they were for me. I shake my head and turn towards her desk to look at the smaller my understated arrangement of lillies. I check the card this time before taking them to my desk.

_Ana,_

_Can't wait to see you tonight. _

_Be ready at 6:30 pm_

_G_

I smile and tell Claire thank you. She's looking at me very expectantly but again I have no desire to be the subject of the office gossip so I take the smaller vase, "these will fit nicely on my smaller desk. Thanks Claire," and head up to my desk.

At 5 pm I head out to find Angus waiting patiently in front of the building. When he spots me he opens the door and says good evening. I smile to him and respond in kind as I climb in. There sitting on the seat next to me is a huge white box with a red bow and a note on top. I look up and see Angus looking at me in the rearview mirror.

"Mr. Cross asked that I make sure you recieve the box and note Miss Ana," is all he says but there's a bit of sparkle in the older man's eyes. I wonder what that's about.

"Thank you Angus. Did Gideon happen to give you back my house keys for me as well. He took them with him this morning." I say a little sheepishly

He just nods letting me know he heard me. "No ma'am." Well hell. I'm going to have to make sure he gives those back tonight. Thank goodness that I know Kate will be home to get ready for her evening with Elliot at his parent's fundraiser, so at least I'll be able to get in the house.

I take the card and open it: _Ana, I did some shopping. Yes. Me. Alone. I thought this would be beautiful on you and hope that you will honor me with your presence while wearing it tonight. Gideon -P.S. You will have no problems getting into your apartment and will find your housekeys in your bedroom on your dresser. _

I have a smile to myself wondering what in the world this man has planned for the evening.

As Gideon said I had no problem getting inside my apartment and Angus helped with the rather overlarge white box, carrying it up for me and setting it on the dinning room table before heading out.

Kate came rushing out of her room. "Oh. My. God. Steele! Gideon is great! Tell him I said thank you!"

"Kate, what are you talking about?" I have never heard Kate so emphatic about a thank you before but seriously why would she want to say thank you to Gideon?

"Oh that's right!" She laughed, "Gideon didn't tell you his plans for tonight..."

"Wait! He told you?" I interrupted.

"No. Jeez calm down Steele! He called me and said that he had a surprise for you tonight and wanted to send over someone to help with your hair and makeup but didn't want me to be uninformed. Then he told me that he would send them over early enough so that they could do mine too for tonight!"

That's when I realized that Kate's makeup was beautifully done. Kate is gorgeous to begin with but whoever did her makeup just enhanced that beauty even more.

"Franco will be done with my hair in about half an hour Steele. You better head in to the shower. Gideon said he'd be here at 6:30 pm," she said as she skipped back to her room. Shaking my head at my best friend's attitude, that is completely different sometimes compared to what it was for the last four years, I turn and head into my room to shower and change.

Before I get into the shower I want to see what it is that Gideon sent in the box. Slowly pulling on the bow and opening the box. I move the tissue paper and I see bright red satin. I take out the gown and am floored by the sheer beauty of the dress. It's a strapless red gown that looks like it will fit me and what curves I have like a glove and it flares at the bottom with a little bit of a train. There are silver strappy heals and a beautiful beaded silver clutch.

I get in the shower and and am amazed that Gideon did this. He took the time out of his schedule to shop for something that he thought I would look good in so that he could surprise me tonight. I smile at this thought and think Gideon certainly has amazing taste but why would I need something so formal? Oh Shit! I hope that he's not taking me to the fundraiser! It's at Christian's parent's home. Christian will be there. I close my eyes. What am I going to do?


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**A/N: This one's a little bit longer. :-) Hopefully, ya'll will enjoy! **

**I want to say welcome to my new followers and favs. **

**Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. **

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

After finishing up my shower, Kate shows Franco into my room and all I can think is 'oh my'. I love him! He has this fake Italian accent, its too heavy and every now and again there are words that have a Midwestern note to them. He's gay and excitable, boisterous and exuberant. He did an amazing job on both Kate's hair and make-up and I'm excited despite my reservations about tonight, about what he will do with me.

He tells me that I have beautiful hair but that it just needs some "touching up". I giggle and tell him that he is welcome to do what he likes with it. He asks what my plans are tonight and as Gideon hasn't told me, though I have my suspicions, I shrug my shoulders. He actually looks horrified when he asks how he is he supposed to know what will look right for my 'special evening' if I can't tell him anything about it. Wow. I am really surprised that he is taking this harder than me! I laugh and tell him to calm down and that the dress I am wearing tonight is hanging on the closet door and he was welcome to take a look if that would help. He quickly turned to go find the dress yelling "of course it will!" Coming back into my bathroom he tells me that he knows exactly what he needs to do but that we don't have much time and need to get started right away.

Kate comes in and sits on the tub handing me a bottle of water. "So has he told you what you two are doing tonight?"

Taking the bottle from her, I respond, "No, but he sent flowers to the office this afternoon and his driver to pick me up this evening with a dress for tonight. Kate, I think he's planning on going to take me to Elliot's parent's fundraiser. I mean look at everything he's doing. Not telling me what's going on, Franco coming and doing both you and I. Flowers to my office today."

Kate just shook her head, "What difference will it make if he brings you tonight. You'll be there with him, I'll be there. You got flowers at work?" She is brushing off the fact that the fundraiser is at Elliot's parent's house. Christian's parent's house. Sometimes for someone so freaking bright she misses the obvious.

"Kate, Christian could be there." I look at her through the mirror. Franco is trimming my hair and keeps telling me not to move as he wants to make sure that I look like perfection when he's done.

Kate just looks at me and shrugs her shoulders. "Ana, I know that seeing him will be hard on you especially if the other night is anything to go by, but you'll be there with Gideon. Have you told him about Christian?"

She's looking at me with concern when I say that I have. I explained that Arnoldo told him that he thought I had recently had a break up and how Gideon didn't press for information but after Christian showed up outside SIP and then here; my reaction to that. He needed to know."

Kate stood up. "It's good he knows. He has a protective streak Steele. If Christian shows up tonight, and I'm not sure he will, and if Gideon is planning on bringing you well then he will make sure that you won't be alone with Christian and I'll remind him to make sure he remembers to remove you from Christian's presence immediately." She smiles and then tells me she's going to get dressed.

Franco has finished my hair and is working on my make-up when I hear the doorbell. Elliot must be hear for Kate. I know she's getting ready and stand and tell Franco I will be right back. I head out to answer the door. It's almost 6:30 pm and I know I'll need to hurry to make sure that I'm ready when Gideon gets here.

Opening the door, I find both Gideon and Elliot. My eyes pop when I see them both looking so handsome in their tuxes. I blush to the roots of my hair when I realize I'm standing there wearing nothing but a short robe staring at both of them. "Sorry. Come in. Elliot, Kate's in her room. She'll be out in a few minutes and Gideon, I need about 10 minutes more," I say as they both walk into the living room.

As I turn to head back to my room, Gideon grabs me by the waist, pulls me to his chest and bends to kisses me gently. "Go. Hurry back," he breathes smiling at me, letting me go.

I head to Kate's room first, hearing Elliot offer Gideon a beer on my way. "Kate, the guys are here. You almost ready?" Knocking on her door.

She hollers out that she'll be out in two secs and shaking my head I go back to my room and to Franco to finish getting ready. Franco is standing looking at the dress. His hand on his chin. He looks like he is contemplating the biggest decision of his life.

"Ana, come we finish you and then I change you hair," he says.

I'm shocked, "What? No. I don't have time for that. Gideon's here not just Kate's date. We have 10 minutes. That's it. We have to finish this up." I'm nervous. He spent so long with cutting my hair and styling it into a beautiful updo that I love.

"No, dear Ana. This dress is too beautiful for your hair the way it is. Simple elegance. I should have paid more attention before I started. It won't take long. We finish your make-up, get you in this dress then it will take me two minutes to fix the problem of your hair." He's so sure that he's right. I just nod acceptance and lead the way back into the bathroom so that we can finish up in there.

He puts the last of my make-up on and I when I look at myself I see someone else. Someone more sophisticated and beautiful. "Ok, now the dress," he says. He heads into my bedroom and takes the dress off the hanger, unzips the back and holds it for me to get into. Once I step into the dress he lets it go and turns so that I can take my robe off and pull the dress into place. I get it on, no bra needed thanks to the one sewn in. Thank goodness for side zippers I think as I pull the zipper up to secure the dress. "Ok Franco, you can turn around. Do you really think you need to change my hair?"

As Franco turns, his jaw drops. "Bellissima, you look wonderful but come," taking my hand and leading me to the vanity chair, "we want to look amazing, no?" He starts taking my hair down. Pin after pin he takes out and when they are all done he simply says to turn my head upside down, shake it and flip it back. So I do. Once it is flipped back into place he runs his fingers through it smoothing it on the top and then brings it over one shoulder. "There. Perfection. My work is done." He kisses both my cheeks, hands me my shoes and leaves.

I get my shoes on and then stand to inspect myself in the mirror. Oh. My. God. I look amazing. This dress, I was right. It shows my body's best attributes. My make-up is understated and elegant and my hair, though the style is simple is simply perfection. Franco was right. It really does look better down. Smiling I head for the door and towards Gideon.

Gideon is sitting at the breakfast bar when I reach the open living/kitchen area. He turns when he hears me and I can see his eyes roam my body. Up, down and back up again stopping at my eyes. Standing he says, "Kate and Elliot just left a few minutes ago. You look fucking amazing." I can see the sincerity as well as appreciation in his eyes.

I would curtsey to him again but with the slim silhouette of the dress I would more than likely fall on my ass so I just tilt my head say, "thank you. Now are you going to tell me where we're going?"

He laughs and its that laugh that fills the room and that I like so much. He said that I had already figured it out and that Kate had already given him a lecture all while Elliot was giving her a death stare.

"So we are going to the fundraiser?"

"Yes. I am invited every year, big donations to charities usually get the donors invited year after year, but as I am never here in Seattle when it happens I never attend. Usually I just send a check." He smiles.

"Gideon, I don't know about this." I know I sound worried. I'm sure he can see it in my face. He walks over to me. His hand to my chin and lifts it so that I am looking straight into his eyes as he bends to kiss me. The kiss starts gently his soft lips on mine then becomes deeper as his tongue slips over my lower lip asking for more. I open my mouth allowing him access and his tongue dips in to dance with mine. He pulls me to his chest and keeps kissing me.

Finally breaking away, breathing heavily, with his forehead resting on mine he says "You' ll be the most beautiful woman in the room and you'll be on my arm. I won't leave you alone. I promise. I've been given my warning by your best friend," he laughs. But it makes me at ease.

He steps back and says in all seriousness, "Look I know that you still have feelings for Grey. Your reactions to him tell me that. But sweet girl if you wanted to be with him, you wouldn't be with me right now."

I nod my head in agreement but need to clarify, "I do still have feelings for him, you're right. But regardless of those feelings I wouldn't be with him right now, he made that clear," he raises his eyebrow at me like he can't believe what I'm saying. "And just so that we're clear, right now, I don't want to be with him. You make me smile and don't stress me out constantly and that's something that I can live with," I finish, smirking at him.

He growls at me and pulls me to him again for another kiss. Quick this time. Pulling back he tells me we need to go. Takes my hand and leads me out of the apartment, taking my keys from my hand locking the door behind us and depositing my keys back into my clutch before handing it back to me.

We pull up to the Grey's home, its huge and beautifully decorated for the event. Everything is stunning. There's a red carpet leading out to the back of the house with photographers snapping away. Once we're out of the car Gideon leans down and kisses my temple and whispers "Everything's going to be fine sweet girl. I've got you." It's like in New York. He tucks me into his side wrapping his arm around me. Kate's right, he does have a protective streak and when he says those ten little words to me I feel all my apprehension drain from me. I know that I will make it though this night as long as he is by my side.

Making it through the throng of photographers and reporters, after what seemed like ages as there were some that were yelling at Gideon about who I was, why he was here and what his plans were on the west coast, we head over to tent set up in the back.

We stop at a few different groups of people. They all seem to know Gideon or they know of his business. I knew that he was well known in New York but I guess for some reason I didn't realize that he would be so well known here in Seattle. It kind of takes me aback and I'm a little overwhelmed with the entire situation but I smile and make small talk with the wives and girlfriends of the men Gideon is speaking with.

"OH. MY. GOD. Ana you look amazing," I hear and turn and see Mia coming up to me. Ok, here goes. Christian's sister. The over exuberant sibling. I really liked Mia the few times we had met but sometimes she can be a little much. I feel Gideon's hand on my back and know that he's looking at me wondering if everything is ok. I'm trembling and I know he feels it.

As she reaches us and wraps me in a hug and whispers in my ear, "Elliot let it slip. Christian's an idiot." Backing away from me and smiling she turns to Gideon, who has excused himself from his conversion with the group, and says, "Mr. Cross, it's nice to finally see you here."

I complement Mia and introduce her to Gideon. He shakes her hand, "Well, Miss Grey it's nice to finally have a reason to be here instead of just sending a check to support your parent's wonderful work."

She looks at me and then back to Gideon, "Yes, well ... "

Whoa! I've never seen Mia at a loss for words before. It's absolutely stunning to see. I giggle and they both turn to me. I cover by asking if Mia has seen Kate. She tells me that Kate and Elliot are over by the dance floor talking to some people and point them out.

A couple of other men come up to us and start talking to Gideon. I interrupt him quietly and tell him I am going to find Kate and that I'll be back in a few minutes. He bends down and asks me if I'll be ok without him or if I want him to come with me. Mia interrupts and says that Christian isn't here yet and that she'll go with me. I stare at her. How did she know I was apprehensive about running into Christian? I tell him that I'll be fine for now and promise that I won't be gone long.

Walking over to where Kate and Elliot are talk to an elderly couple I ask, "Mia, how did you know about my not wanting to run into Christian?"

She laughs, "When Elliot let it slip that you two weren't together anymore Kate piped up and said that if he comes anywhere near you tonight she'll quote have his balls. Needless to say Elliot drug her off and I'm afraid that they may have had words about it.

"Look I know she's your best friend and very protective of you but whatever happened between you and Christian is between you and Christian. Kate doesn't need to get involved. But that said, I still think my big brother is an idiot. He let you go for whatever reason.

"I also know that when I've broken up with someone the last thing I want to do, especially when it wasn't that long ago, is run into that person in a social setting."

My feeling are all over the place at her quick words to me that the only thing I can say before we reach Kate and Elliot is, "Thank you for understanding."

She turns and smiles then introduces me to her grandparents! Shit!

"Grandma and Grandpa, I'd like to introduce you to Ana Steele. Ana these are my grandparents, Theodore and Rosemary Trevelyan." I'm in shock. I didn't expect to be introduced to Christian's grandparents.

"It's nice to meet you both," I say and look quickly at Kate. I know my eyes got bigger but I smile and go with it. Why wouldn't I run into more of his family? God, I'm an idiot as I mentally slap my forehead.

Mr. Trevelyan takes my hand and kisses the back, "Just call me Theo," he says as Mrs. Trevelyan says that I am to call her Rosemary with a smile and then tells her husband, "That's enough flirting with the young one's Theo. Come lets find Grace and Cary," as she leads her husband off to find their daughter.

I didn't see Kate before she left, "You look incredible Kate." She's looking at me like I'm a different person. "What?"

"Whoa. Steele! Do you have any idea how stunning you look? I can honestly say that I have never seen you look more elegant than right now."

Now I'm blushing and I wonder just how close my skin is to the color of the dress. "Thanks Kate."

Elliot looks at me and says the same thing as he leans over and kisses my cheek and told me to save him a dance later. While we're standing there, I can see Gideon out of the corner of my eye trying to make his way over but every little bit he gets stopped to talk to someone or another. Kate asks how I'm holding up. I tell her I'm nervous about the entire situation but so far its been okay especially when Gideon is near. For some reason I feel safe around him. She smiles and just says that's good.

I know when Gideon has reached us when I feel his hand on my lower back. He kisses my temple and shakes Elliot's hand. We stand and talk for a few minutes when Mia reappears and tells us that we need to find our seats that dinner will be served in a few minutes. She pulls both Kate and I to the side as the men walk ahead of us and asks us both to be a part of the auction. Willing to help anyway we could we both agree. She says that she will find me as soon as its time as she and Kate are sitting with her family and Gideon and I are at another table. I nod my head and take Gideon's hand and we walk over to our table.

The tables are set for ten each. As we reach our table, I set my clutch down and turn to Gideon, "I need to find the ladies' room, I'll be right back."

He raises an eyebrow at me, "I'll be fine," I reassure him, "Mia said he isn't here," as I turn and head for the front of the tent. There are mobile bathrooms set up just a little ways away from the main tent. There's not very many people out here now as most are finding their seats waiting for everything to start.

Just as I reach the bathrooms I feel a tug on my arm and I am pulled around the corner of the building out of sight.

"What the Hell!" is all that manages to come out of my mouth before I realize that the person that pulled me around the corner and against the wall of the building is Christian. His grey eyes dark and brooding. Then he bends and kisses me. Hard, passionate, demanding, carnal.

Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is happening right now!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**A/N: This one's kinda short. Christian's point of view. Worked about 14 hours today, and have to work about 7 tomorrow. Wanted to get you something today. Hopefully I can get some more to you later tomorrow evening. Well that's what I'm shooting for anyway! **

**Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! I'm really glad that you're enjoying my story. **

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

**CPOV**

I've just arrived at my childhood home for my parent's fundraiser. I hate coming to these types of events but I couldn't not show up, my mom would be so disappointed if I didn't. I know my just being here helps bring in more than if I didn't show just because people tend to give more when they are trying to impress another person and well there's a lot of people that try to impress me on a regular basis. It's just so ... boring and makes for a long night.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Anastasia. The new covert security that I had placed on her has been keeping tabs and I get updated every hour hours or so with either information on what she's doing and who she's with. Occasionally he is able to get pictures. That's what happened last night.

_Around 8:00 pm I received at text with a picture attached. The picture was of Anastasia and Cross at a little romantic french bistro near Pike Place Market with a text saying that they had arrived roughly 15 minutes before hand. Damn she looked good in the picture. She was wearing a navy blue wrap jersey knit long sleeved top that made her chest look fucking amazing and a matching white and blue stripped skirt. Cross' hand was resting on hers as they were obviously talking. _

_Just looking at the picture pissed me off. I couldn't believe that she was off on a date with this asshole. She really doesn't give a damn about her safety at all. I fucking told her he was dangerous and here she is alone with him on a date! I strode out of my office yelling at Taylor, "Let's go." I headed for the elevator. I knew that I couldn't go without Taylor. I wanted to but I knew that I wouldn't be able to control myself if I did. I need control and where Anastasia is concerned that flies out the fucking window! _

_Taylor parked near the front of the restaurant. Near enough that we wouldn't be spotted easily but giving me an eye line to Ana and Cross talking. It looked like their meal was coming to an end. She was so free with him. I could see her talking. There's that little 'v' in between her brows, like when she's contemplating something. _

_I couldn't take seeing it. The jealousy that she was spending this time with Cross. She said we needed to talk but she wouldn't cancel her plans to do so. And her plans were with this asshole! I told Taylor to go in, discretely, and have the maitre d' send over a bottle of Bollinger for the table. Just as the waiter brought the bottle to the table and poured, I saw Ana's expression. All the color drained from her face. Yep. Good. She got the point. She knows who it's from even if Cross didn't. _

_I decided that it was time to return Miss Steele's earlier phone message to me. She answered on the second ring, "Christian. Why are you doing this?"_

_That smug bastard had the nerve to look angry when she said that and took hold of her hand. I want to beat the shit out of this guy. And why is she letting him touch her?_

_"Hello to you too Anastasia, and I haven't done anything. I just got your message from earlier and was returning your call." Yep, play it cool, smiling to myself. _

_Timidly she asks, "The champagne Christian, why?_

_She's looking at Cross and she looks unsettled, but he looks disbelieving. Good. She needs to be careful around him and he needs to know that I will always be around watching out for her. _

_"Well you and Cross looked to be celebrating something or another. Sitting so cozily next to each other. I thought you could use the champagne to make your toast." My voice dripping with sarcasm, but I'm shaking my head berating myself for letting her know that I know what she's doing right now. _

_"You're watching us? You're spying on me? What's wrong with you, Christian?" She's practically yelling at me and I can tell she's trying to control her emotions. _

_Just then I notice Cross waiving a waiter over to pay the bill and pull his phone out. He's going to try to rush her out of there. I tap on Taylor's shoulder and wave for him to go mouthing "home" so that he knows I'm ready to leave. Just as he's pulling away I hear her breathe, " You haven't answered me?"_

_My only response to her, the only thing that I could make myself say, "we do need to talk. Not tonight. Saturday. Good night Anastasia." I hang up the phone. Running my hands though my hair and letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. That was probably one of the most difficult conversations I've ever had just because all I wanted to do was go into that restaurant and beat the hell out of that ass and take Ana away. _

_When I got back home I tried to work but all I could think about was the same thing that I had thought about since she walk out of that door and away from me. Her beautiful big blue eyes looking at me like I killed her chance at happiness. _

I make my way through the throng of photographers on my way to the back of the house. I want to find my parents and grandparents. There are a couple of other company executives that I know I must stop and speak to but as I don't plan on being here longer than absolutely necessary I am moving with purpose to the.

I stop to speak to James Bennett the senior VP of Operations at Smith & Klien. He introduces me to the other men he's been speaking with and their wives. As I'm speaking to the men I overhear the women talking_. 'Did he introduce you to his date. She's amazing.' 'Yes, absolutely stunning.' 'She a natural beauty.'_ Hmmmm...I wonder who they're speaking about. I excuse myself when I see my father, "Excuse me gentleman," turning to the women, "ladies."

Finding my father, "Dad." I shake his hand. He's talking to a couple of partners from his firm. "Christian. You're mother's going to be so happy you made it." He's smirking at me. He knows just how much I hate these things. Then he introduces me to the other two men and their wives. And again, I overhear the women. _'She's so lucky! They make an stunning couple. He's so big, she's so tiny' 'Her dress is to die for!' 'I get the impression she's a bit shy but very friendly' 'Oh I haven't met her yet, she was talking to Mia Grey. Maybe I can get her to give us an introduction?' _I have no idea who these ladies are talking about but obviously its someone who has grabbed the curiosity of the socialites here tonight.

I ask my father if he's seen my grandparents telling him I wanted to say hi before dinner. Dad pointed me to the corner of the dance floor and as I turn to head that way I stop dead in my tracks. I see Mia, Kate, Elliot, my grandparents talking to a tiny brunette in a tight fitting red dress. Mia and my grandparents are walking towards the tent and the brunette turns to the side and I gasp. I can't believe it.

Ana. I can't believe she's here and looking fucking amazing. That dress clings to her in all the right places. Accentuating all her curves to the fullest. Her hair is down over one shoulder and I think I just felt my heart skip a beat.

It looks like she's looking for someone. I turn to follow her eye line. Then I see him. Fucking Cross. She came here with him! She came to my parent's house with him! What the fuck is she doing? Why would she do something so callous?

Callous? No. Even I can't accept that. Anastasia doesn't have a callous bone in her body. It's probably because I told her that she was wrong for loving me. I close my eyes and the scene plays out again for the millionth time, her walking away. No this wasn't her. This was Cross. He's invited to this damn fundraiser every year and every year he never shows just sends a check. No this is him. This is him letting me know that he will do as he pleases.

Shaking my head clear of the bullshit going on in it right now I head into the tent to speak to my grandparents for a few minutes before dinner is served. My phone starts buzzing and I excuse myself to answer the message from Roz and walk out behind the portable bathrooms, where it's quieter making it easier to hear her and what she needs from me.

As I am finishing up the call and come around the corner I see Ana. I can't stop myself. She looks too damn delectable, I grab her by the arm pulling her to the side of the building away from any other eyes. I hear her say "What the hell!" just as my lips cover hers in a passionate and demanding kiss. God, I forgot how soft her lips are!


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**A/N: Thank you all for being so patient waiting for this! Long working weekend. I really do hope that you like it.**

**Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them. **

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

"What the Hell!" is all that manages to come out of my mouth before I realize that the person that pulled me around the corner and against the wall of the building is Christian. His grey eyes dark and brooding. Then he bends and kisses me. Hard, passionate, demanding, carnal.

Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is happening right now!

Christian has me pressed up against the side of the wall. One hand still holding the elbow of the arm he grabbed to drag me over here the other on my hip pulling me against him as he is kissing me. There's no gentleness in this kiss, its feels like more of a possessive kind of kiss. Deep, hard and intoxicating ... and God how I missed his lips! I moan and he slips his tongue past my lips. Dipping and swirling with mine. He's let go of my elbow and his hand has moved to my cheek and slowly moves to the back of my head pulling me in deeper. I can feel him, his arousal pressed against my belly. My knees feel weak and I know that if he wasn't holding me right now I'd be on my ass on the ground. There's so many emotions that are flicking through my head right now I honestly don't know if I'm coming or going.

I finally realize where we are and why. He's got me behind a building to kiss me because he wouldn't accept my feelings for him. My love. He told me that I was wrong. That he couldn't do love. I'm here because he wouldn't accept my feelings for him and because I can't give him the release and satisfaction of allowing him to hit me. I wanted him to know that I loved him. Hell I wanted everyone to know I loved him. But he couldn't have that. He was honest with me when he said he didn't do relationships. I just didn't realize at the time just how much that one sentence would haunt me. I put my hands on his biceps and push him, turning my head and breaking the kiss.

Taking a deep, steadying breath to try to control by erratic breathing, I ask, "What the hell are you doing Christian?" I know my eyes show pain and confusion but I'm hoping that he will just answer me for once.

"Kissing you," he says, smirking at me with an eyebrow raised. Taunting me.

"Well no shit, really. I couldn't tell. Why?" I'm getting angry. Why can't he just let me be. He doesn't want a relationship. He can't do 'more'. He thinks I'm wrong for having feelings!

With that beautiful smile of his he just responds, "Ah, I've so missed that mouth of yours Ms. Steele. I've wanted to do that since I saw you talking to my grandparents. You look amazing by the way."

He's saw me?! A horrified look crosses my face. I shake my head. I really need to use the bathroom and I need to get away from Christian. I need to breathe and I can't do that when he's this close to me. "You don't get to do that anymore Christian. If you'll excuse me," I turn to head to the front of the building so that I can go in and use the facilities.

Christian moves in front of me, "Where are you going?"

Exasperated I look him in the eyes. God, do I miss those beautiful grey eyes. Shaking my head, "Well if you must know, I need to pee and you rudely stopped me from doing so."

He had the nerve to chuckle at me, "By all means Ms. Steele," and he moves out of my way, "just remember we're not done yet. We still have some things to discuss. Seeing as you're here maybe we can do that tonight after all."

"I don't think so. We'll discuss what we need to tomorrow. Tonight I'm here with Gideon and I plan on enjoying that and would rather not have my night turned upside down because you feel like you should be entitled to my time. You lost that Christian when you chose to lose me." I say as I head back into the restroom.

I know I need to get back to the table and to Gideon. Dinner has most probably already been served and I am here in the mobile bathroom trying to compose myself and my thoughts. I can't believe that Christian would accost me like that. What could it mean. I use the bathroom, wash up and head back out to the main tent. As I open the door, my only hope is that Christian didn't decide to wait me out. Looking around as I exit I feel safe enough that he hasn't that I start back to the table with Gideon. I'm so confused. Should I tell him what happened? I really don't want any issues started tonight. Not at Christian's parents' house. I'll think I will need to ask Kate's advice on this. Hell, I don't know what to do. She's so overprotective of me sometimes that she'll probably go after Christian! Ugh! As I reach the table I decide to not think about what to do just yet. I have the rest of the night to get through and I want to be able to do that with a smile on my face. I can't let Christian know that he's gotten to me. That he has me torn up inside and I can't let Gideon know just how upset I am. Not tonight anyway.

I was right and the first course has already been plated and served by the time I got back to the table and joined Gideon and the rest of our table mates. Gideon makes the then leans down to my ear whispering, "You were gone awhile. You ok?" And the look in his eyes shows nothing but concern.

I smile at him but I know that smile doesn't reach my eyes, "Yes. I'm fine."

I know I am being relatively quiet. I answer questions when asked, mainly by the women at the table. They all seem rather nice but shallow and self-absorbed with nothing really of any substance behind them. None of them work preferring to spend time playing tennis at a country club, shopping or just being housewives to their respective men.

All through dinner Gideon has kept his arm around me, rubbing my arm, shoulder or back. Letting me know he's there even though he's mainly speaking business with the other men at the table. Occasionally, he'll look at me and I think he realizes something is bothering me. He keeps giving me quizzical looks each time. I rest my hand on his thigh, giving it a small reassuring squeeze. I'll be fine and he needs to know that and right now this is all I am able to give him with so many people sitting with us.

After dinner Christian's father is on stage talking about Coping Together. I didn't realize this charity was to help those with drug problems and or the children of people with drug issues. I think it's a rather wonderful thing that they are doing, helping the community this way. If it helps one person's life or one child's life then the world is a better place.

Gideon hands me a card listing all the prizes for auction. There are some really wonderful things on here but my eyes stop when I see a stay in Aspen donated by Christian Grey. My eyes flick up, looking over at the table where he's sitting with his family and Kate, finding him. His eyes are on me and he looks both angry and frustrated. I didn't know he owned property in Aspen. But that goes to show that I didn't really know much about him anyway. He didn't share much about himself when we were together. I turn and look at Gideon and realize this gorgeous man beside me opened up to me from the first night we met. Obviously not everything, I know there are still some things that he hasn't shared yet. But I also feel that if I were to ask him anything he would answer me honestly. He hasn't given me any reason to believe that he wouldn't.

Suddenly, I hear Gideon place a bid on an auction prize. I look at him quizzically. I was in my own head and didn't hear what he was bidding on. The bidding continues between him and another person to the left of us. They smile at each other and I see Gideon shake his head just a bit. When he notices me looking at him, he just gives me that one dimple smile that makes my heart skip a beat and kisses my temple. Again he raises the bid. What on earth is he bidding on that he would consider worth $18,000.00. I don't know but the other person just turns and shakes his head at the auctioneer indicating he's not willing to go any higher and Gideon's smile just got much bigger and brighter as the crowd erupts in cheering and applause.

I lean over to him, "What were you bidding on, I missed it?"

He chuckles quietly, "A gift."

A gift? What kind of gift? For who? My mind is in overdrive. Who would he spend that type of money on? I shake my head and lean back in my chair next to him. The last auction lot has just been sold for $110,000. Wow! I knew there would be money thrown around tonight but this is almost too much for me to contemplate. I never had money growing up so this free for all spending is a little intimidating.

Gideon notices the look on my face and asks me what's wrong. My only response to him is the truth. That even though I know the money is for a good cause to just see people tossing so much of it at stupid things like the ability to drive someone else's car for a day or a spa day or even a baseball bat is unsettling to me. Gideon just looks at me for a moment, I think he's trying to process what I said when he smirks at me and whispers that some people will spend more to impress others and that may be what happened tonight but at least in the process the charity benefits from their egos. I giggle and nod my head. He's right, in the end the charity is what matters and it will benefit hugely by people who seem to want to 'Keep up with the Jones'.'

About that time Mia and Kate walk up and Mia is calling to me, "Ana, it's time!"

Gideon looks at me with that amused look. Is he snickering at me? "Time for what, Mia?"

"The First Dance Auction. Come on!" She holds out her hand to me.

Really? Is this what I got myself into? Shit! This is not what I expected. I looked over at Gideon who looks highly amused by the look on his face. He starts to chuckle. I can't believe he's laughing about this. Just as Mia starts to drag me away, he stands and tugs on my other hand, and tells me, "I'll be the one you share that first dance with", then kisses my hand before letting me go and Mia starts pulling me onstage.

I can see Gideon as he strides over to where a number of men dressed in tuxes are standing near the stage. He stands close to the back of the group taking in all his surroundings. I spot Elliot walking over and then I spot Christian. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. This is not going to be pretty. Especially after that kiss earlier. What the hell am I going to do? How do I get out of this gracefully without some sort of show down between Gideon and Christian? Shit. Shit. Shit. My night just keeps getting worse!


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**A/N: It's shorter than I wanted as I'm ending it earlier than intended but I wanted you to have something today and I'm on one of those 16 hour days. I hope you enjoy! **

**Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them. **

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I'm standing up on stage and I see both Gideon and Christian standing with the other men to bid for the first dance with us women on stage. Mia is on my left and Kate is on my right, when Mia leans over me to Kate and says, "Wow. Christian's out there. He never bids on the first dance. He never stays this late."

Kate just glares at her as the bidding begins with one of the other girls up on stage. Kate knows what's going to happen just as much as I do. I don't understand why he is doing this. I told him we would talk tomorrow and then he pulls me behind a building to kiss me, now this? He made his position clear. He doesn't want me. He doesn't want my love so why is he so dead set on me moving on and past him. I was a wreck. Hell I still have my moments when it's hard to just get out of bed. Granted having work and Gideon here has helped tremendously but Gideon lives in New York and will be leaving to go home soon. I don't want to say he's a distraction because I am beginning to care about him. And it's nice to have some semblance of normalcy with a man. Christian never gave that to me. He wanted to control me; every aspect of me, sexually and otherwise. I can't do that. I can't be that for him. Why doesn't he see that?

Kate leans in and says, "Don't worry Steele. Gideon won't let Christian win." She's looking at me with concern.

"This Kate is going to be a huge embarrassment. Neither of those two will give up. They will have to show who has the bigger balls and the biggest bank account. It's going to make me into a laughing-stock. I wish I never agreed to be up here right now." I'm near tears.

Kate just grabs my hand and gives me a reassuring squeeze as she is called front and center. Two men in the back bid for her and Elliot turned to glare at them both before he bid at $20,000. A full $10,000 over the last bid. I guess he was like Christian and Gideon to a certain degree. He wasn't going to let anyone near Kate either. Mia squealed and clapped when the MC said "SOLD to Mr. Elliot Grey." and Kate was beaming as she left the stage and into Elliot's arms.

Just then the MC called my name. I think I turned just a bit green as I slowly walked up to the podium so that everyone could get a good look at me. How freaking embarrassing! And I think the men in my life are going to make it that much worse! I look up and see Gideon walk toward the middle of the crowd. His beautifully intense blue eyes are staring right back at me. I smile at him then I hear Christian interrupting the MC with "Ten thousand dollars."

I look over at him scowling. Then another bid from in the back, "Fifteen." What the fuck! I look to see who placed that bit. But I don't recognize the man. It definitely wasn't Christian. I look back at Gideon. He's scowling and the blue of his eyes seems to be more black than blue right now. He hasn't placed a bid yet. He looks back at me and lifts a finger letting me know to wait and see. Christian and the other man go back and forth, twenty then twenty-five. Christian is looking at the man and I know that he knows this guy. He doesn't look upset but more bemused by the entire situation. He smirks at the man, turns his head and looks at Gideon and announces, "One hundred thousand." Shit Shit Shit. There are collective gasps from the crowd when Gideon raises one eyebrow, "Five Hundred Thousand." Christian comes back immediately with, "One million." That's it, I'm done, I can't keep standing here allowing these two men go back and forth making a mockery of this charity. This is supposed to be for a good cause not a pissing contest between two men with more money than they know what to do with.

There is complete silence in the tent; everyone seems to be holding their breaths to see what will happen next. I look at Gideon and shake my head, mouthing 'no' to him. I want him to back down. Yes to let Christian win this time. He seems to understand and gives me a curt nod back while holding my gaze.

I hear the MC yelling "SOLD to Mr. Christian Grey." I turn to leave the stage, mortified, when I see Grace get up from their table and walk toward her son. She doesn't look pleased. Kate's eyes are bulging from her head, Elliot's mouth looks like he's catching flies and Mia is bouncing in her Louboutin heels. I walk to Gideon, wrapping my arms around his waist as I get to him. His arms come around me and he leans down to kiss the top of my head and asks, "You wanted him to win?"

It was a question, but I could hear the disapproval and hurt in his voice. "No. I just wanted him to stop and he wasn't going to. It's embarrassing to stand up there for sale but it was also disrespectful to the Grey's and their charity for you two to continue the way that you were going. This is not the place and time for a pissing contest Gideon."

I look up at him and I hope that he can see the sincerity in my eyes. I know that he wants to protect me from everything that will upset me. He nods his head understanding that I didn't mean to hurt him with my comment, but he looks troubled, "I promised you that I wouldn't leave your side tonight. That everything would be okay. I'm not holding to that promise."

I raise my hand to his cheek, "I understand that you can't be at my side every second we are here. It's just a dance. It'll be fine."

At that moment Kate comes rushing at me, Elliot isn't far behind her. "Oh My God, Steele. I'm so sorry that Mr. Moneybags is being such a dick! Why the hell is he even bidding on you?"

Elliot's hand lands on her back as he joins our group, "Kate, he's still my brother. Stop okay?"

She turns to him, "Elliot baby, I know he's your brother but Ana is like a sister to me and I've told you what she was like, what my concerns were before New York. I don't want Ana like that again. I want my best friend back, the fun and carefree person that I know she is. I wouldn't be able to stand it if he crushes her that way again and brother or not I'll cut his balls off before I find my best friend like I found her when we got back from Barbados."

"KATE!" I can't believe she just said that out loud and within hearing range of Gideon. Of course he knows the break up was difficult but he doesn't need to know that I had a fucking meltdown in the aftermath. Jeez.

"What? It's true. What the fuck is he trying to prove anyway?"

"Enough, Kate. This is not a topic of conversation that we are going to have. At the end of the day, Christian is just being Christian right now. He wanted to prove a point. Job accomplished."

I turn to look back to Gideon who is watching me like a hawk. He looks completely composed but his eyes are dark and intense and I sense the anger and tension radiating from him. He directs his behind me. I turn and see Christian walking up to us. I feel Gideon's hand pull me a little closer to him protectively. Christian greets Elliot and Kate and looks at me with those insanely striking grey eyes and a smile on his lips, ignoring Gideon completely.

"Anastasia, come," raising his hand for me to take, "the first dance will be starting in a minute." He's smirking which just makes me madder that he has embarrassed me in front of all these people.

I put my hand on Gideon's chest reaching up and kissing his cheek whisper, "thank you for trying anyway" then step back and walk past Christian and his outstretched hand.

Christian easily catches up to me as I am walking to the dance floor and places his hand on my lower back. I immediately tense, "Don't. We're not on the dance floor, yet."

"You're mine Anastasia. You always will be," he says.

I can't believe him! What is wrong with him? I'm not his. I'm not anyone's. I am my own person. I make my own decisions. I round on him, "You're talking nonsense Christian. I have made myself completely clear. We are not together. It's time you accept that."

His eyes darken. His mask in place as the music starts and he starts moving me across the dance floor. "You're wrong," he tells me.

I shake my head. I'm not wrong. He made his position clear to me. I was wrong for having feelings for him. I made my position clear to him. I am not a sub. I will not be treated that way and I sure as hell will never let him hit me again. "No Christian. We're over. It's funny that you wouldn't even speak to me but as soon as I am in New York and a picture runs of me with someone else you decide to come back and demand … whatever it is you want. Whether that's me back or answers to why I may or may not be with someone else."

"Well it sure appears like you're with someone else. Someone who's more wrong for you than I am, it seems."

"Again, that isn't any of your business if I am or I'm not. But just to satisfy your morbid curiosity, we are just friends, Christian."

"He wants in your panties Anastasia." He grip on my waist has tightened.

"We are friends Christian. Period. Right now it's nothing more than that. We live on different sides of the country if you haven't noticed. Now, I won't discuss Gideon with you anymore.

"Now tell me why you felt the need to embarrass me tonight with the over the top bidding?"

I am looking at him with all seriousness and he just smiles that beautiful smile of his the one makes him look his age and says, "It's for a good cause and I wanted to dance with you. Talk with you..."

I didn't let him finish, "Jeez Christian! We were set to meet tomorrow. You could have waited until then to talk you didn't have to objectify me by turning me into a prize!"

His eyes widened in horror. "Is that what you believe?"

The dance comes to an end and I step back out of his arms. I cross my arms, "Yes. That's exactly what you did. I let Gideon know to stop because he would have kept going just to make sure that I wasn't in a situation that I didn't want to be in. You need to let me go. I'm beginning to heal from the damage that our relationship caused me. You need to let me do that." I turn to walk back to the crowd and Gideon.

"We'll talk more tomorrow."

I stop and turn back around shaking my head, "No. I'm done talking. I've said what I needed to say to you. Let me heal Christian. We won't be together."

About that time I feel a hand on my elbow and look up and see Gideon. I look up at him and know that yet again I am going to be in the 'hot seat' as he's going to want to know about Kate's comments. I don't know how this is going to go over but I don't feel that I can share that with him, not right now. I'm still not ready to discuss Christian with him any deeper than I already have.

"You're trembling. You Ok?"

"Yes, but can you take me home please. I'm ready to go." He takes my hand and brings it to his lips and gently kisses it before tucking it under his arm at his elbow and leads me out of the crowd and around front to the waiting cars.

Opening the door to my apartment, I head to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water asking Gideon if he wants anything. He just looks at me for a moment and shakes his head. He was extremely quiet on the way back home tonight. More looking out the window off into space. It's very unlike the person I have come to know over the last week, since he's been here. When I asked him what was wrong he just took my hand in his big burly one, kissed it and rested it in his lap absently rubbing my knuckles.

"Ok. That's it. I can't take this any more. What's wrong?" I snap at him. I frustrated by the silent treatment. I've had a difficult night and don't want to continue to have one.

It takes him a minute to answer me. He walks over to me and moves a piece of my hair back behind my left ear. His eyes look distressed, pensive. "Do you still love him?"

What!? Shit! I just want to go to bed right now. What is it with everyone wanting answers from me tonight? Demanding more from me than I want to give?

Taking a deep breath to center my thoughts, "I will always have a place for him in my heart Gideon. Right now, yes, I still love him. I think that I maybe always will but that doesn't mean that I want to be with him or that I can be with him. I'm trying to move past him. It's working slowly but its working."

I have always been honest with Gideon and I'm not about to start trying to lie to him now. Besides I'm awful at it anyway.

"What if I told you that I want you, Ana? What would you say?"

My eyes must have gotten just a bit bigger. What would I say? I don't know. I don't think it would be fair to start a relationship with one person until I'm completely over the one before. But then I have to admit I don't know if I'll ever be absolutely over with Christian. But the best that I can say to him is, "Ask me that in a month," smiling at him.

He laughs and shakes his head then pulls me into his chest and kisses me, our tongues clashing and dancing with each other. My hands sliding up his chest to wrap around his neck and his sliding down and grabbing my ass pulling me closer to him.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**A/N: I'm not happy with this chapter at all as it's way way shorter than I was going to do but again I am working on long days. Hopefully I'll get longer chapters out to you this weekend. I hope you enjoy!**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

Gideon had me pressed against his chest, cupping my ass, holding me in place. Kissing me with an intensity that was intoxicating. I can't believe that he asked me how I would feel if he said he wanted me. I wasn't lying to Christian when I said that Gideon and I were friends because that's what we are. Sure we have shared a few kisses here and there but nothing like this. I can feel his arousal on my belly. He wants more from me and I'm not sure that I can give him more, I feel like I'm still broken from Christian. But right now, in this moment, this...this want, this need that he has for me is overtaking everything else in my brain. My head is spinning and butterflies are in my stomach. There is definitely a connection with him and I like that connection. I like how easy it has been this week having him here.

Pulling back, "Gideon." It's the only thing that I can make come out of my mouth. I'm absolutely breathless.

"Yes, sweet girl?" He's looking at me through hooded intensely dark blue eyes. His glossy ink black hair falling onto his forehead. His generous lips curved up in a sensuous smirk.

"I need time. I can't make this decision without it." I plead to him.

He pulls me back to his chest, enveloping me his muscular arms , exhaling. "Don't make me wait longer than a month, Ana. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to handle a month let alone longer."

It's a demand and a request all in one and again I note the differences between Gideon and Christian. They are so much alike. Yet so different at the same time. Christian is overprotective, dictatorial, controlling and has intense stalker tendencies. Gideon is more shielding than overprotective, he's demanding but not oppressive, he doesn't smother me and I have yet to determine just how much of a stalker he is.

"I'm tired. Thank you for tonight." I start walking towards the front door to see him out when I hear him chuckle. I turn back to him with a quizzical look, "What's so funny?"

Walking over to me he says, "You are sweet girl. Thanking me for that charade tonight, for taking you to that fundraiser where you were put on sale and sold to the one person I promised to protect you from."

He's shaking his head and I suddenly realize that he's upset. "Gideon, you can't protect me from everything. He's going to be around. Elliot is his brother. I'm going to run into him as much as I don't want to. I might as well get used to it. I .. well I just don't want to do it when I am still trying to heal from the damage that our relationship caused."

"Will you tell me? Kate mentioned something tonight about you being crushed?"

I knew this was going to happen. I knew he was going to ask. I'm not ready yet to talk about it. I can't let him know just how consumed I was by Christian. How hard I fell. How much it hurt to walk out his door and not turn back.

"I can't Gideon. I can't talk about that. I'm not ready. When I'm better I will but not tonight." I'm pleading with him and turn towards my bedroom. I need to change, I need out of this dress.

"Ana. Did he hurt you? Just tell me that much." He's imploring me to answer, following me into my bedroom and sitting on the bed.

I have to giggle at that. Hurt me? hmmm. Well he didn't do anything that I didn't ask him to, so no I guess as far as 'hurting' me, he didn't. I need him to know that I'm the one that left, I told him that we broke up and that Christian doesn't love me but I never told him I'm the one that made the decision to leave. "No Gideon, he didn't hurt me, like you mean. Like I told you before, we broke up because he doesn't love me. I'm the one that broke it off Gideon, not him."

I'm in my closet changing into a cami and shorts for bed when I hear Gideon, "What? You're the one that left?"

Going back into the bedroom, "Yes. I was just going to get hurt more if I stayed. He needs more than I can give him and he wouldn't give me what I needed, so I left. Can we please leave it at that? I'd really like to go to bed."

"Can I stay?" He's looking at me shyly with those sapphire eyes of his. I can see the want to stay but I can also see desire hidden behind that.

"Gideon. I can't…" I start before he interrupts.

"I just want to hold you sweet girl. I'm leaving on Sunday. I only have one more day with you. I don't want to go just yet."

I let out a breath, "Fine, just because I'm tired and don't want to fight anymore tonight." He's smiling before I can finish my sentence. I know that I probably shouldn't let him but having him here is a comfort and I'm going to miss him when he leaves.

I crawl into my bed and lay on my side facing the door as Gideon walks to the foot of the bed to take off his tux. I feel the bed move as he gets in next to me and wraps his arms around me. He's warm. I'm not sure how I feel about sharing my bed with him. Even when I stayed at his hotel we didn't share a bed so this is something completely different. I cuddle next to him and feel his arm pulling me closer to his body and he kisses my head.

"Good night sweet girl. Thank you for letting me stay," he murmurs in my ear as I fall asleep curled up in his arms.

**A/N 2: If ya'll haven't read "Strong Steele" by Ellabanks. Give it a shot! It's a great story :-P**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**A/N: Another short one but hopefully tomorrow evening I'll be able to post a much longer chapter. After working 16 + hours today, I'm headed to bed. Good night all. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I slowly waking up, not wanting to. I'm comfortable. I feel like I haven't slept this good in ages. I feel fingers sliding lightly up and down my back. Hmmmm, that feels nice. I'm not on my pillow, but on curled up on Gideon's chest. He has a slight amount of chest hair but not too much at all. Obviously he's awake, I really hope he isn't watching me sleep. That's just a bit weird. I stretch my legs and move my arm from the middle of his chest down his abs wrapping around him, pulling myself closer. I hear him chuckle quietly, his hand still sliding up and down my back.

Opening my eyes to see if he's is watching me, I see him laying back on the pillows, one hand under his head, his eyes closed. I smile just looking at him. This is comfortable. "Good morning."

He opens one eye and looks down at me with a small smile. "Good morning. Sleep well sweet girl?"

I snuggle in closer, "hmmm, yes I rather did. How about you?"

"So, so," now both eyes are open and he has a rather large smirk on his face. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?"

My eyebrows shoot up. I know my eyes are much bigger and I have a look of incredulity on my face. Of course I know I talk in my sleep. Kate and Jose have both teased me about it many times in the last four years of school but to do it with Gideon next to me! I wonder if I kept him up? Oh shit, what did I say! "Ummm yeah, sometimes," I tell him rather sheepishly and turn my head so that my cheek is on his chest and he can't see my face.

Moving his hand from behind his head to my chin, he lifts it turning me to face him. "It was rather nice to hear what you had to say. There's no reason to be embarrassed with me, okay?"

Yeah right, "okay. What did I say that was so nice you would rather listen to me than sleep?" I giggle.

He eyes, so intensely blue anyway, deepen in color, "Just some things. I can show you one thing that you said"

Nervously I ask, "is that a good idea?"

His smile just gets brighter when he responds with a vigorous head nod. I giggle at his response. It's almost childlike but there is nothing about this man that is childlike besides that. His chest and abs are so well defined. I'm glad he didn't keep the white tee shirt on that he had under his tux. Shaking the errant thought from my head I respond with my own wary, "okay."

He pulls me on top of him. My stomach to his stomach, my chest to his when he wraps his legs around mine. Of course, that part is a little off as my feet end right past his knees. I giggle. "Gideon, what are you doing!?"

He's still wearing that gorgeous smile when he pulls me closer to him, wrapping himself around me and kisses me. It starts as a gentle touch, his soft lips to mine but soon become much more. His tongue sliding on my lower lip, demanding entrance. I open to him and his tongue invades my mouth, dancing and moving with my own. I feel his hands move from my back sliding down and cupping my ass. I'm only wearing small little boy shorts and can feel his fingers move to the hem of the shorts, pulling me closer to him.

I can feel his arousal. More so as I am laying on top of him. God, I think this man is big. I move back, my breathing erratic, shaking my head to clear that thought. Raising an eyebrow, "I said I wanted this?"

He laughs, holding me in place, that big laugh that fills the room and that I love so much. "No sweet girl," he kisses my nose, "you said you wanted to be kissed and held. So I have kissed you and I am holding you." He's wearing that smug smirk.

I push away, shaking my head, giggling. He's being playful and I like that but at the same time I have to be careful. I still need time to figure out what I want and I don't want to give mixed signals to him. I turn and look at the clock, 8:00 am. "I'm going to go make breakfast. Coffee?"

"Yes, please," he says.

I get up off the bed and head out to the kitchen. I pull out everything that I need to make pancakes, eggs and bacon when the doorbell rings. Who could possibly be here this early? Shit I didn't grab a robe, maybe its just Kate. She didn't come home last night and knowing her she probably forgot her keys. I

The bell rings again. Jeez I'm coming already. Without looking to see who it was I opened the door and turned to head back to the kitchen, "Jeez Kate impatient much?"

"Um. I'm not Kate, Anastasia."

Oh shit! What the hell is he doing here and I just let him in without looking, half naked. Shit. This day was going good but hell it hasn't even started yet and Christian is standing in my living room.

I turn back around crossing my arms over my chest, "what are you doing here Christian?"

He's smirking the bastard. Ugh! I know I'm not wearing much but damn do his eyes have to really slide up and down my body like I'm a piece of meat?

"You really do have amazing legs, Ana. Great ass too," he says as his eyes reach mine.

My eyes harden. "I have nothing left to say to you Christian. I said what I needed to last night. So do please tell me why you're here?"

Just as he was about to answer, Gideon comes out of the bedroom pulling on his white tee shirt but still in his boxers. "Ana, is the coffee ready?"

"What the fuck are YOU doing here!?" Christian yells, striding towards where Gideon is.

"About to have breakfast with that beautiful sweet girl standing 5 feet from you. What are you doing here Grey?" Gideon responds

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I think this day just may suck no matter how good it started.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**A/N: Christian's version of the gala. Hopefully tomorrow I will get to Christian's side of the "morning after." I hope you like it. **

**It's another that I am not too pleased with. Hence the reason that you haven't gotten a Gideon point of view yet. I have tried to sit and write one but I don't think I will be able to do my version of Gideon justice. Never know though as I am still trying to figure his points of view out I may surprise you! :) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

******AN2: THIS CHAPTER WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED AS CHAPTER 27...I think it hindered the way the story read. So for now I have just switched Chapter 26 and 27 around to help with the flow of the story.**

Kissing Ana again was wonderful highlight to my boring evening at my parents fundraiser. Her lips are so soft and I miss feeling them against mine, well.. me, anywhere she wanted to put them. She responded to that one kiss, fervently. It aroused her. I felt her. It was like fireworks between us and we both know it. I don't know why I can't stay away from her. I know I should but there's this pull. I have been so depressed since she walked out of my apartment. All I want is to have her back. I don't understand the fascination that she has with Gideon Cross. I've told her he is dangerous but she's still been seeing him.

She broke our spell when she pushed against me breaking our kiss. She is clearly confused and looks hurt. _Oh, baby, no reason for you to hurt, I'll take care of you. Always. _

"What the hell are you doing Christian?"

Well isn't it obvious, I raise my eyebrow at her, "Kissing you,"

"Well no shit, really. I couldn't tell. Why?"

Defiant. Sarcastic. She knows how much I enjoy that smart mouth of hers. I smile when responding, "Ah, I've so missed that mouth of yours Ms. Steele. I've wanted to do that since I saw you talking to my grandparents. You look amazing by the way."

She looks horrified. I wonder why? But then she turns to leave telling me, "You don't get to do that anymore Christian. If you'll excuse me."

Oh No Miss Steele, not so quickly and I move in front of her asking where she is going. She gives me an irritated look, shakes her head and tells me that she needs to pee. I laugh at that. Move out of her way and tell her we have things we need to discuss and what better time to do it than here? I don't like procrastination, matter of fact, I fucking hate waiting. If something can be done sooner rather than later than that is what I will make sure happens. I want this discussion over so that I can have her back. Back in my life, back in my arms, back in my bed.

I can't believe her fucking response! Is she kidding me? Me? She thinks that I will ruin her night. No, she needs to understand that I will MAKE her night. She just has to hear me out. And what the hell does she mean about my feeling entitled to her time. She's fucking right I'm entitled to her time. I didn't choose to lose her. She walked out the fucking door. She should listen to me just for that alone!

I start towards my parents table. Kissing my mom on the cheek, getting a hug from Mia. God that girl is a bundle of energy! She means the world to me. No matter how irritating Mia can be, she can always make me smile and lightens my mood. But not today.

Just as Mia sits down she says, "Christian for the record, you're an idiot!"

Mom looks stunned. Dad looks perplexed. Elliot shakes his head and Kate laughs. My grandparents are looking at all of us like we are crazy.

"Oh," raising my eyebrows at her.

She narrows her eyes and tells me not to give her that "look" because it doesn't work on her anyway. I know she's right but she's still getting it.

"You let her go, Christian. You my dear brother are an idiot."

Great, so now everyone knows. I wonder who told her, Ana, Kate, Elliot, or maybe even Cross himself. I didn't want to have to tell my family about Ana and me. I was hoping to be able to get this mess cleared up and be back together soon but as she's here with Cross I guess they were bound to find out.

Elliot knew because when he and Kate got back from Barbados, I guess Ana was a mess. Hence the reason for the trip to New York. That fucking trip where she met Cross.

"Mia, you don't know what happened so I would suggest dropping it," my voice purposefully cold and distant. I don't want to discuss this with my family. The less they know the better. Besides I like it better that way too.

Just then my grandmother looks from me to Mia but addresses me only, "Christian that is not how you speak to a lady. I don't know what she's talking about. Who you let go. That's you and whomever elses' business. But you shouldn't talk to your sister like that."

What the hell. I get chastised for talking coldly to her because she put her two cents in on something that is none of her business and she gets nothing for call me names. "Yes, grandmother, your right. Mia, I'm sorry."

My grandmother nods and leans back against her chair.

"Mia, calling your brother names is impolite as well." Thanks Mom. I smile at her. I know this is the first she is hearing about this and I can see in her eyes that now she understands why Ana isn't sitting with us but with Cross.

"Mom, I can't very well apologize for stating a fact. He let Ana go. They aren't together and she was the best thing in the world for him. We all know that!" she whines.

Just then my grandfather says, "Are you talking about that beautiful young woman you introduced us to earlier, Mia? The one in the red dress sitting a few tables over."

"Yes."

And now my grandmother, "Oh everyone has been talking about her all evening. She's been getting high praise from so many. She must be a wonderful young woman. It's a shame we didn't have longer to talk to her."

"Christian, that was the girl who your mother told us about?"

I look at my mother as my grandparents look at me. When the hell did I become subject of gossip in my own fucking family! "Yes, " I respond tightly.

Standing and excusing myself I walk out of the tent, I can't sit at that table for another moment. I am angry. Angry at my family for discussing me and my private life amongst themselves; angry at Ana for walking out my door that night when she had promised that she would never leave and angry at myself for not only letting her but for not doing something sooner to rectify the problems between us.

I needed the fresh air. Away from everyone in that tent. Away from the accusations that I screwed up. Don't they fucking know that I realize that? Shit. The auction has started. I've been away from the table long enough that my mother will very upset if I don't return. Taking a deep breath I head back to the table. Hopefully my family has decided to stop fucking talking about me now too.

I can't stop myself from staring at Ana and Cross across the tent. Even though he's kept up conversation with the men at the table, he's keeping his arms around her. Touching her and it makes my blood boil. I have to rein in my temper. I don't understand how she has moved on so quickly if what she said about loving me is true. I haven't really been paying attention but when I hear Cross bid on an auction lot I scan the list of items to see what it is that interested him. Ahh, Pride and Prejudice, First Editions. I laugh to myself because I know what he's doing. Didn't I do the same thing? Again I turn my gaze over to them. Ana looks confused but then I see him kiss her temple. And my hackles raise again. I can't bear to see her so affectionate with another man. Letting him touch and kiss her. That's supposed to be me. Damn it! I have seen her smile and laugh more tonight than the entire time we were together. I want to be the one that makes her do that. I will win her back.

Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice that Mia and Kate had left the table until I say them both approaching Ana. I know Mia has orchestrated the ladies for the first dance auction. Did Ana agree to the auction? I laugh to myself when I see Cross' amused look and Ana's horrified one as Mia drags her to the stage. Yep. Looks like little Miss Steele agreed to it.

I see Cross join the men near the stage with some of the other men who have escorted a few of the ladies on stage as well as a few others. Looks like Elliot is going to be bidding on Katherine. God, I'm glad she wasn't the one to do the interview. This is my lucky day. I will have that first dance I don't care how much it's going to cost. Money is no object and it's for a good cause.

Ana looks shocked as she finally notices me among the other men bidding. Her shock turns to worry. I can see it on her face. She has no reason to worry though. I will win the dance and we can talk and get this mess straightened out. I don't want to be without her any longer and she needs to know that.

The bidding for Kate begins and two men from the back are bidding. Looking at Elliot who looks pissed as he glares at both men as he doubles the highest bid. Well well Elliot Grey has a jealous streak in him. I guess we are not too far apart after all.

Ana is up next and as she approaches the podium where the MC is I see she looks a little green around the gills. Of course this isn't something that she would be comfortable with. She doesn't like being the center of attention but she's going to have to get used to that. She's definitely the most beautiful woman in the room. I notice that Cross has made his way front and center intending to bid. Fuck that, I interrupt the MC with my starting bid of ten thousand. They both need to realize that I will always get what I want. And right now I want Ana and her first dance.

I see Ana scowling at me just as I hear another bid come in. I turn and realize that it's Flynn. Of course neither Ana or Cross will know who he is but he knows me and he knows how I feel about the stunning young woman on that stage. I know that he's testing me. Seeing just how far I will go. Ok, lets play. Flynn and I go back and forth. He goes to twenty-five thousand. I'm tire quickly from our game and up the stakes as I know that Cross is biding his his time waiting for Flynn and I to finish our tête-à-tête. I smile at Flynn then look at Cross, game on, as I call out Cross has still to bid. I know he's waiting to see what I will do. How high I will go. Well, let's just see "One hundred thousand."

The crowd has all gasped. Shocked I'm sure that I am bidding let alone that we are now in six digit figures. I don't care. The money is for a good cause and I want Ana. Cross just raises and eyebrow and goes to five hundred thousand. Again I am done playing. I double my bid. Everyone is shocked. Staring at the two of us as we stare each other down. Neither of us backing off. I notice Ana, shaking her head and mouthing something to Gideon as she begins walking to the stairs to leave the stage the MC yells, "sold to Mr. Christian Grey."

Instead of coming to me as all the others women have done with their prospective dance partners, Ana walks straight into Cross' arms and he kisses the top of her head. They are whispering to each other. He looks upset, good he ought to be. That's right, I won. It will be my arms she is in shortly. But she looks upset. I don't want her upset especially if it has to do with the fact that she won't be dancing with Cross first.

As I am contemplating walking over to her and taking Cross' arms off of MY girl my mother takes my hand saying, "Follow me now."

I look at her and she looks angrier than a wet hornet. What did I do now? She drags me out of the tent and into the house. Turning around with her arms crossed in front of her, "Want to tell me what that was about Christian?"

"I don't know what you're talking about mom..."

Before I could finish my sentence she holds up her hand to interrupt me. "You made a mockery out there in front of over 300 people of this charity Christian and I want to know why. Why would you bid one million dollars to dance with Ana if you two are not together any longer."

"It wasn't my intention to make a mockery out of the gala mom. I did it because I need to speak with her and she won't talk to me so I figured this was a good way to get her for a few minutes so that we could work some things out." There honesty without too much information. I never want to hurt my mom. My saving Grace. She rescued me and I owe her at least that.

"There are other ways to go about it than to do what you did out there. We'll discuss this later. I'm not happy with you right now Christian. I thought we raised you better than to embarrass us or mock something we hold dear." Wiping a tear that has fallen as she walks by me and patting my arm at the same time I know that I fucked up and will have to deal with the outcome of that with my parents and soon.

Leaving the house, I get back out to the tent and see Elliot and Kate talking with Ana as Cross is standing watching the three of them. The orchestra is preparing for the first dance and I am going to claim my prize. Walking up to the group I notice that Cross pulls Ana closer into his side. Just like in the pictures that were taken in New York when they got papped. What the hell. He doesn't have to protect her from me so why the stance. I want nothing but the best for her ... and well that's me!

As I get to them, I smile and raise my hand, "Anastasia, come the first dance will be starting in a minute."

Instead of taking my hand and allowing me to lead her onto the dance floor she turns and thanks that evil bastard for trying and kisses his cheek. Yeah he tried and failed. You are mine Miss Steele and I won't let you forget it. Then she walks right past me toward the dance floor. Shit. She's mad. Well she's going to have to deal with it. I've been mad for a month now and I've been dealing with it.

Catching up to her as she is almost to the dance floor I place my hand on her lower back to guide her where I want her to be and I can feel her entire body tense under my fingers. The spark of electricity is still there, I feel it every time I'm in her presence, I believe she still feels it too but the only reaction I get from her is a curt,"Don't. We're not on the dance floor, yet."

I take this moment to remind her that she is mine and always will be but all I get from her is an indignant response of me talking nonsense and that I need to accept that we aren't together. _Not going to happen baby. _I tell her she's wrong. I felt it and so did she, when we kissed. That primal response to each other's bodies. If she felt that way she wouldn't have responded to me like she did.

Vehemently she responds, "No Christian. We're over. It's funny that you wouldn't even speak to me but as soon as I am in New York and a picture runs of me with someone else you decide to come back and demand … whatever it is you want. Whether that's me back or answers to why I may or may not be with someone else."

will What the hell? I'm really beginning to struggle with controlling myself not to take her, throw her over my shoulder and leave with her. "Well it sure appears like you're with someone else. Someone who's more wrong for you than I am, it seems."

She needs to know that Gideon Cross has a damn near uncontrollable temper. Yeah I know coming from me, pot meet kettle but shit I've never damn near killed a man with my bare hands! I can't have Ana around that kind of violence. I need her protected and safe.

She narrows her eyes at me and tells me that its not any of my business if she is seeing anyone and they are nothing more than friends. _Yeah right baby. I said it earlier and I'm not about to let you forget, you are mine_.

I know he wants more than that. He wants to fuck her. You can see it in his eyes every time he looks at her. Fuck that! "He wants in your panties Anastasia.," pulling her closer to me.

She reiterates they are friends and nothing more as they live in different areas of the country and then refuses to discuss the situation any further. Then adds that I embarrassed her tonight with the bid for her dance. I give her my megawatt smile, the one that always has her weak in the knees when I respond that the cause is good and that I wanted to dance and talk with her.

She got rather upset telling me that we were scheduled to met tomorrow and but that what I did to her tonight was basically objectify her and turned her into a prize. I can't believe that is how tonight made her feel.

As the music closes the dance, she tells me that she told Gideon to stop because he would not have just to protect her from unwanted situations. _She talking about me? _She then tells me that she is finally healing from our relationship and I need to let her do that. I'm stunned. I can't let her go. She turns to leave and I tell her we still need to talk. Stubbornly she says that she is done talking and that we won't be meeting. As she finishes her statement Cross appears and he takes her elbow and asks her something quietly. All I hear is her asking for him to take her home.

I'm crushed when I hear that. I should be the one taking her home. Our conversation did not go as I thought it would and I still need to let her know that I want more. I want her. I can't lose her. Especially to someone that could very easily hurt her without a second thought! That is when I decide that come hell or high water I will meet with her tomorrow, even if it is first thing in the morning before she gets a chance to leave her apartment for any reason.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**A/N: Sorry about not getting a chapter out this weekend. Life interrupts... :( I hope you enjoy!**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

**AN2: THIS CHAPTER WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED AS CHAPTER 26...I think it hindered the way the story read. So for now I have just switched Chapter 26 and 27 around to help with the flow of the story.**

Both Gideon and Christian are standing in my living room glaring at each other. Gideon in his boxers and tee, that shows how well defined his body; and Christian looking amazing in black jeans and black tee. Gideon looks smug. I know he's letting Christian draw conclusions. Christian just looks pissed and if looks could kill Gideon would be six feet under multiple times.

Christian's hands are balled into fists and as he steps forward towards Gideon I know this isn't going to end well. I have to stop this train wreck before it starts. I can't have Christian Grey and Gideon Cross, two of the most powerful young CEO's in the country beating the hell out of each other in my living room and that's just what's going to happen if I don't get a handle of this immediately. So I step into Christian's way, putting myself straight into his path.

"I asked you a question are you here. Everything that we needed to say has been said so what are you doing here?"

He doesn't answer me. Just glances down to look at me then back to Gideon, who has moved right behind me. "Letting a woman protect you Cross?" He sneered.

"You could only wish," Gideon responded as he picks me up by the waist and moves me out of the way.

"No! Put me down," I sputter, indignant just as Gideon sets me back on my feet. Sometimes being so small is not an advantage! UGH! Asses, both of them.

"You two are not and I mean NOT coming to blows in MY house. Damn it! Fucking stop!" I say as I move back between them. Both of the guys stop and look down at me dumbfounded. I guess I surprised them both! Oh well. Calmly I start, "Christian," I stare straight into those grey eyes now so dark and angry, I can tell his control is slipping and I know that I will need to rein him back in."Please go into the kitchen, I'll be with you in a minute." He's looking at me like I've lost my mind. _Really Grey? Really? You're about to start a brawl in my living room at 8:15 am and I've lost MY mind? yeah right. _

I turn to look at Gideon, "This is not how you get me to think about what we talked about. This is not how you get to keep me. Stop." I plead with him. He's looking down at me a storm brewing in those beautiful blue eyes. He doesn't want to back down from whatever it is that Christian wants to throw at him but he doesn't want to hurt me either. I can see those emotions pulling him back and forth. I use that one indecisive moment to my advantage.

"Christian, I'll be right back. Please go into the kitchen while I grab a robe or something, ok?"

I grab Gideon's arm and tug him after me. He never turns his back on Christian. He's watching him even after he allows me to pull him from the room. And yes, I say allow because I don't think I'd ever - no scratch that, I wouldn't ever be able to move him unless he wanted me to.

In my bedroom, I head into the closet to grab a pair of jeans and a more decent top, "Gideon, what the hell was that about?"

"What? I just went to get a cup of coffee that you promised me? How was I supposed to know that Grey would be in your living room at eight in the morning?" He's smirking as I come back out from the closet wearing a pair of white skinny jeans and a dark blue chiffon tank.

"That's not what I mean," shaking my head at him. "Why would you think that it would be ok to physically pick me up and move me like that. If you want to fight someone never ever try to do that in my house because I will ALWAYS be there to stop it and if you think that it was ok then you and I are going to have a big problem," I huff. I'm pissed. He wanted to prove a point. It's a man thing I guess and I get that on some level but what those two did was extremely disrespectful of me, Kate and our home.

Raking a hand through those gorgeous inky black locks of his, he looks down at me, "Look Ana, I know physically moving you was inappropriate but I won't ever be accused of letting a woman, any woman, fight my battles for me," then he gives me a shit eating grin and adds, "next time I'll escort him out of your apartment."

"Ugh! I can't believe you. You can't believe that coming to blows is a way to handle a situation between two evidently, jealous men? Because let me explain one thing to you before I go out there and discuss the same thing with Mr. Grey, NEITHER of you have the right to be jealous." I'm looking him straight in the eye when I say this. My hands on each hip. But as I finish my statement, all I see is hurt in his eyes and he lowers himself to sit on the side of my bed.

His head in his hands for a moment he looks back up at me with determination he says, "I meant what I said last night sweet girl. We are friends and I do want you. I promised you a month to make a decision. I know the distance could be an issue for you but we'll figure that out. But I promise you this, I will protect you with everything I've got. I will not let Grey hurt you again, ever."

I know he means every word of what he's saying to me right now. And I think I appreciate him more because of that. I walk over to him, standing between his knees, placing both my hands on his cheeks looking intently into his eyes, I lean down and gently place a chaste kiss on his lips, "I know and that means the world to me." I turn towards the door, "why don't you shower and I'll see what I can do about Christian and then we'll have breakfast, ok?"

"Ana," he grabs my hand, "you'll call if you need me?" He's imploring me. At this moment I realize that I am taking away his ability to protect me as he sees it and wants to make sure that I know that he's just a holler away.

I smile at him and nod; with that I leave the bedroom and head back out to the kitchen and to Christian.

As I'm approaching the kitchen, I see Christian sitting at the breakfast bar. I stop for a moment just to observe him as he's sitting there hunched over the bar with his head in his hands. He looks tired and worn out. I wonder what he's thinking? I want to know why he keeps showing up.

"Christian?"

He straightens up and turns to look at me, piercing me with those steel grey eyes of his. There's a myriad of emotions flicking across in them before he's able to put the CEO shield in place. Jealousy, hurt, anguish and definitely anger. I don't understand why he would have any of these running through him. We aren't together. He made it plain and simple for me when he said I was wrong for having feelings...love...for him. He did that not me.

"Anastasia." His mouth a tight line. I can tell he's having a hard time controlling his emotions. I move to make coffee before starting on breakfast. We can talk while I work. I can't stand there and stare at him. My knees will go weak and so will I.

"What are you doing here Christian?"

"We were supposed to meet if you remember? What's he doing here? What's he doing coming from your bedroom? Did you..."

I cut him off, holding up my hand, "No Christian. Don't ask me anything to do with Gideon. I won't answer you. It's none of your business anymore." I know that he can see the incredulity in my face that he would even think that he could demand answers from me anymore. "I said what I needed to say last night, and I don't want to keep fighting with you so say what you need to say so that we can move on."

"Move on? How the hell do you expect me to move on, Ana," he almost whispers. Then he looks me in the face and simply says, "I want more."

I know my mouth drops open and my eyes bug out of my head when he says that to me. "Wait, what? You want more? More what Christian. Explain. Spell it out for me." I need for him to do just that because I'm not sure where he's going with this.

"I want more Ana. This past month has been horrible. I can't sleep. I can't work. I don't want to eat. I...I miss you."

He misses me? hmmm well isn't that just dandy. So he gets to change his mind and everything is supposed to go his way? He hurt me beyond anything I could have imagined when he told me it was wrong to love him. Looking at him, I just shake my head. "You don't think that I haven't missed you? What the hell Christian? I meant what I said in your playroom. You need to sort your shit out!"

He interrupts me, "keep your voice down, we're not alone here," he hisses at me.

Incredulously I look at him, "fuck you Grey, this is my house. I am not your sub and you demanded to have this conversation at," looking at the clock, "8:45 am before I've even had breakfast, barging in demanding answers from my guest, and trying to start a fucking fight. You want this conversation well then you can have it right now. Then you can leave.

"You said that you needed all that. You said that we would never move past that you wanted to do those things. And I'm telling you there's no way in hell that I'll ever allow you to do that to me ever again! I told you that I was falling in love with you and you told me I was wrong for doing so, that you couldn't make me happy. Well guess what. You were right. If that's what you want and need, you can't make me happy."

I'm angry. Angrier than I can ever remember being and it's all directed at the copper haired God sitting at my breakfast bar looking like a lost child as I repeat everything that happened that last day before I left Escala. Closing my eyes to help rein in my temper, I step back lean against the counter crossing my arms in front of me and take deep breaths. When I open my eyes, Christian is standing in right in front of me.

"I. Was. Wrong." Enunciating each word and then continues, "but so were you."

My head jerks up, "What?"

"Why didn't you safeword Ana?"

He says this so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I realize that I could have stopped the train wreck before it had gone as far as it did but I also realize that I wanted to be able to give him what he needed and if I couldn't withstand it then I would know that I couldn't give him what he needs most...control.

"I'm not a sub, Christian. It didn't occur to me. I forgot."

"What!" He bellows at me. "What do you mean it didn't occur to you? What the fuck, Ana!"

Just as I was about to answer, Gideon comes back out of the bedroom, quickly with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He really does have one magnificent body. God, I can't be thinking that when all hell is going to break out again.

"Ana, you ok?"

Gideon is staring right at Christian, who isn't more than a foot in front of me. I know from Gideon's perspective I look cornered but I know that I'm not. He's just concerned and that melts me a little more. I smile at him.

"Yes Gideon. Go get dressed, give me about 15 minutes, okay. We'll finish up and then you and I can have breakfast."

This statement was directed more at Christian. I wanted him to know that he didn't have much more time and that he wouldn't be staying.

"Grey, I mean it when I say, don't do anything stupid. You. Will. Regret. It," Gideon says as he looks Christian straight in the eye. I can say that I have never seen Gideon looking so intense. So serious. He means every word he is saying and it's nice to know there's someone on my side in this. Christian doesn't respond. He just stands there looking from me to Gideon until he disappeared back into my bedroom.

"I'm going to ask you this and I want an answer..."

My eyes go wide then I narrow them and respond, "if you have a right to an answer then you will get one. Don't overstep. And I get to ask one question as well."

It's my warning to him. Again. That I won't answer any questions about Gideon and I. He looks down at me, takes a step closer, placing a hand on my cheek. God, I still love this man. I think that I always will but I am beginning to accept that he is toxic for me. I can't do all the controlling overbearing railroading that he does to me. I won't lose myself in him or anyone ever again.

He looks a little confused, but nods agreement, inhaling a long breath before asking, "have you moved on?"

His eyes look so sad. Like that lost child. I close my eyes. Inhale, exhale before answering, "no, not yet." It's the best answer I've got. I haven't moved on yet. If I had I wouldn't need time to be able to answer Gideon's question. "But I want to Christian. I need to."

He stares at me. All I can see in those flinty grey eyes now is anguish. Like I'm choking his soul. I am hurting this man and that was never my intention.

"My turn?"

He just nods.

"Why did you buy SIP?" There's surprise and shock on his face.

"How did you find out? The news is embargoed?"

"Why, Christian?" He doesn't need to know that Gideon found out and told me. I also don't care that the news is embargoed, or whatever. I just want to know why he did it.

His gaze turns cold and hard before he answers, "It was a good investment."

"You're lying. But then I took the chance that you would be honest with me."

"I have always endeavored to be honest with you Ana. It was a good investment."

"But that's not the real reason, is it Christian?"

His response is to just smile at me. I know he's not going to answer. I shake my head and go back to making breakfast shaking my head.

"It's time you leave Christian. We've said all there is to say. We are not together. We can't be together. I can't give you what you need. I will never be enough for you. And that's fine, but you have to let me heal from that knowledge." I sound defeated and truthfully, I am. I can't keep doing this.

Quietly in my ear he says, "You are what I need and you are so very much more than enough you will never understand just how deeply I feel for you."

I turn to him, "Stop, I mean it leave." I am trying to make it though this conversation without crying. My emotions are all over the place. "It's over."

He takes my chin between his thumb and finger gently raising my gaze to his and lowers his mouth to mine. His tongue is demanding entrance into my mouth, sliding along my lower lip. I open allowing him entrance. I can't help it. There's so much energy between us.

Just then the front door opens, "Ana?" "Christian?"

Breaking away, I turn and see Kate and Elliot. Hell.

I turn back to Christian, "Go please." Looking down at the pancake batter sitting on the counter now.

Christian leans down, "this isn't over Ana." Then walks to the door with a smug look on his face and turning to close it he winks at me.

Kate and Elliot are both staring wide eyed at me. I know that the Kavanugh Inquisition will be coming later, especially when she finds out that Gideon is just in the next room. I shake my head.

"Either of you want breakfast?"

"Ana, what was that?" Kate asks. Elliot is still standing there looking at me.

"Nothing, Kate. Do you want breakfast or not?"

It's Elliot that answers, "I can always eat Ana. Thanks." Then he sits at the bar, I pull out a coffee mug and pour him a glass.

"I'll be right back."

This day is just not going to get any better so I guess I better get everything out on the table and get Gideon out. He's been patient long enough.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**A/N: It's short I know and I'm sorry for that. I do hope you all like it. I know that I said that I would get to Christian's POV about the morning after but I think I need to step back from his POV for a little bit. You will get more of it at some point just not in the next few chapters.  
**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll again for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day. I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

APOV

Entering my bedroom I find the bed made and Gideon reclining against the pillows legs outstretched in front of him crossed at the ankles. He turns and looks at me as I close the door. His blue eyes staring at me intensely. "Can I come out of hiding now?"

He's laughing at me. His lips curled into a small smirk and one eyebrow raised. I smirk back, "Only if you can behave yourself and not start any fights with Mr. Grey while he eats his breakfast."

I know I'm teasing him. Elliot is eating but I know he thinks I mean Christian. He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, "I think I'll stay here until he leaves. Don't want to another fight to start and I'm not promising to behave myself where he is concerned again, sweet girl."

He's pouting. Oh. My. God. This is too freaking funny. I can't hold it in, I start laughing. He turns and looks at me incredulously. "I'm sorry Gideon. Kate came home and brought Elliot, who is currently eating breakfast as we speak. He's the other Mr. Grey."

Slowly Gideon stands and stalks towards me. There's a sparkle in his eyes, showing his mirth but his face is totally impassive. I step back putting my hands up. Just as he reaches me he puts his hands on my waist and picks me up, "It's not nice to tease Ana," just as he tosses me on the bed and starts tickling me.

Laughing at his antics I can only manage to get out, "No. Gideon, stop!"

His hands are relentless, tickling me anywhere and everywhere he can get to. Only when I am red and trying to catch my breath does he stop. He's looking down at me with hooded eyes and a magnificent smile. Raising his hand he slowly moves a finger down the side of my face staring me straight in the eye.

He leans down over me, pinning me under him. I don't feel trapped, I feel protected and secure. He starts kissing me. Tender but demanding at the same time. Insisting entrance into my mouth to dance with my tongue. One hand cupping my face while the other skims my arm and side, stopping at my hip. Pulling me to him. Moving to my jaw, leaving a trail with his tongue along my jaw. Kissing that soft spot right behind my ear. I can feel him. His arousal pressing against me. I am lost in the moment, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He stops and looks at me. Shakes his head and mutters, "fucking time..."

I know that I look confused when he disentangles himself from me to stand up, facing me he says, "I promised you time Ana. I plan on keeping that promise so that you don't regret anything that we do together. But I'm not a patient man. I won't have you make a hasty decision that could cause us both heartache. But I can't help feeling like I want to take you right now where you lay. So allow me to keep my promise to you and lets go have breakfast. Then we'll spend some time exploring your city today."

Reaching a hand out to help me up from the bed, he asks, "why was he yelling at you?" His eyes pleading with me to be honest with him yet angry that it happened at all.

I still have to skirt the truth without lying to him because of that damn NDA that Christian had me sign. "He thought I was being too loud," shrugging my shoulders, "maybe he just didn't want you to hear what we were discussing?"

Gideon gives me that look he gives when he isn't quite sure how to respond to something. Narrowed eyes but with an arched eyebrow. Penetrating to say the least. Demanding more of an answer.

Sheepishly, "Ok look. He didn't like what I had to say either. So there you have it."

"What did you say?" was his quiet response to my statement. He's looking at me and he's so hard to read. He's very good at covering what he's thinking. His body language says nothing except that he's tense and awaiting a response. But his eyes show a warmth that I don't think he realizes when he looks at me.

"Just that it's over and I need to move on from him. Now come, the coffee is ready and breakfast will be getting cold if Elliot hasn't eaten it all by now." I laugh as I open the door.

Walking to the kitchen I see Kate and Elliot at the breakfast bar. He's reading the paper and she's working on the crossword puzzle. Their morning dishes cleared up but both with coffee mugs in front of them. Elliot doesn't even look up when he hears me, "Ana, breakfast was great. Thanks!"

I smile at him, shaking my head and notice that Kate's eyes are bulging as she's looking past me. "Good morning Gideon," she says turning back to look at me with a 'What the hell' look on her face. I just shrug my shoulders and Elliot's head pops up turning to Gideon as I approach the stove. Gideon just nods in acknowledgment. He can see they are surprised to see him here.

"Glad you liked it Elliot. There any left for us?" I giggle at him. The man could eat a horse, his appetite is so big.

Looking a little sheepish, "uhhh, you might need to make more bacon?"

It sounds like a question and all I can do is laugh as I start heating water for tea and pull down a coffee mug for Gideon to make a cup for himself. I start making some more bacon and hear Gideon ask Elliot if he could have the business section of the paper. That's when I hear Kate ask how long he's been here. Oh God, she's going to start that Inquisition with Christian's brother sitting right there! Gideon answered that he stayed the night. Kate doesn't look surprised at all if not a little confused but Elliot looks pissed. I'm not sure that I have ever seen him really angry before. He's usually so jovial and upbeat, making everyone laugh around him but not this morning. But then Kate keeps going.

"You were here when Christian was," she questions.

Gideon looking irritated, "yes," and turns back to the paper.

"I'm surprised World War III didn't break out," shaking her head.

I place a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of Gideon when I turn to Kate and ask, "Why would you ask that Kate? Gideon cares enough about me to control himself. He proved that last night don't you think?"

Kate looks surprised at my comment but before she can respond it's Elliot that responds, "Look we all know that Christian has control issues and a temper, Ana, but to rub it in his face that you are sleeping with someone else isn't cool," as he tosses the paper on the breakfast bar and stands up.

I'm shocked. I didn't think that Elliot would respond this way but Gideon comes to my defense, yet again this morning. "Look, I promised Ana that I would behave around you because you are Grey's brother but I won't let you talk to her like that. I care about her and I respect her but I am going to say this and I won't repeat it, so listen up.

"Your brother was out of line last night. You know it, I know it and so does half of fucking Seattle. He was also wrong in showing up here so early this morning. Demanding to speak to her when she made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to see him today. He pushed his way in here and basically demanded her time. Not giving a damn about her feelings and ended up yelling at her. So before you start with the bullshit about rubbing his face in it don't you think that maybe just fucking maybe if he had listened to her to begin with they wouldn't be where the fuck they are at now!"

Gideon's voice started in a seriously quiet tone but by the time he was done he was red faced and his voice had taken on a hard, almost dangerous edge. I did notice that he hadn't addressed the fact that Elliot accused us of sleeping together and I wonder why. Kate just has a look of shock on her face and in all honesty its one of the few times I've ever seen her speechless. Elliot looks furious but he looks like he's contemplating what Gideon said.

"Elliot," gaining his attention from the stare down with Gideon, "I get he's your brother. I get that he's going to be around and I'll have to see him. But he and I aren't together anymore. You don't need to know the reasons behind that and you don't get to determine who I have in my life. Friends or ... anyone else. I would appreciate you not go running back to Christian to tell him all about what I'm doing OR what you think I'm doing. Just like his life is private so is mine. If he doesn't like what he sees, hears or finds out then maybe he should just leave it and me alone. Don't you think?"

Elliot's eyes narrow at me. I have never seen this side to him and I have to say I like his more laid back happy go-lucky self more than this person standing in front of me. I know that he's just trying to protect his little brother but I also know that he's stepping over boundaries that he shouldn't be.

"You didn't look like you two were over when we walked in Ana?"

"Elliot," Kate gasps, "Shut up," shocked.

"Why Kate? Did it look to you like they were over? Because it didn't to me, it looked to me like they were all over each other. Kissing, making out whatever you want to call it but definitely not over." he sneered while looking at me.

I know I look horrified. What the hell is he trying to do? Piss me off or piss off Gideon. I think if that is what he was trying to do, he succeeded. As I turn to look at Gideon, there is a look of pure rage is on his face and before any of us could react Elliot is sitting on his ass in my kitchen and Gideon is storming off to my bedroom.

Shit!


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**A/N: I hope everyone had a good holiday! I know this chapter is short but with the holiday, working as much as I have been lately and trying to get my taxes done I have been a bit stressed and haven't had much time to write. **

**I've had a lot of reviews that were rather harsh on Ana for failing to choose between Christian and Gideon. That she needs to make a decision between them. Please remember that in this story she doesn't want to hurt Gideon by leading him on and enjoys their friendship AND Christian hurt her and she's having a difficult time with that. **

**Now that said. There will be a HEA for Ana. But you will have to keep reading to find out if that will be with Christian or Gideon. **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

My initial shock at Elliot's comments has worn off seeing Elliot on the floor of the kitchen. But truth be told he was asking for it and Gideon's response was understandable, especially after last nights confession of wanting me. Now I am just plain mad.

"What the hell Elliot? Really? That's what you saw? Well let me tell you what it was," I'm yelling at him. Holding his jaw as he stands I tell him what it was that really happened, "Christian stormed in here this morning demanding to speak to me AFTER I told him last night that I didn't want to see him. HE KISSED ME. That's what you walked in on. HE DID THAT to prove a point because he believes that I still have feelings for him and that our relationship will work out! He wouldn't even speak to me until he saw a damn picture of me with someone else. What the hell is that? I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told him. It's over between us. I need time to heal from the knowledge that I can't give him what he needs! You were out of fucking line Elliot, just like Christian was. Must be a fucking trait for you Grey men."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Ana? Christian hasn't been himself since Kate and I got back from Barbados. He's been a miserable prick."

Kate interrupts with, "He _IS _usually a miserable prick Elliot."

Its the first time she says anything since before Gideon laid Elliot out. I smile a half-hearted smile at her, silently thanking her for this while Elliot just glares at her.

"Elliot, I know more about your brother than most people. He's shared some things with me. Things that I won't go into with you but I can't be what he wants and needs. That knowledge hurts me more than you know but I am coming to terms with that now and I won't be coerced into a relationship that is doomed to fail from the outset. Now if you'll excuse me I have to see how my _INVITED _guest is doing," turning to go to my bedroom and to find Gideon.

"What does that mean? What could you possibly know about Christian that would make you think that he's better off without you?" Elliot says as he's taking a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and applying it gently to his face.

Shaking my head, thinking of the NDA he had me sign. My only response is, "Ask your brother. I won't discuss it, just know its true."

As I enter my bedroom Gideon is staring out the window. Completely still except for the rise and fall of his chest. He's brooding. I can see the tension across his shoulders. He's rubbing his knuckles. Closing the door he turns to me and I can see the anger and hurt in his beautiful blue eyes. I walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. He removes my hands, steps back and looks at me. He's questioning me without saying a word.

"I didn't kiss him, Gideon."

"Seems that your roommate and her boy toy out there walked in on something Ana. I am not a patient man. I promised you a month. Now I'm asking you if you actually need that time or if you're just stringing me along."

"What? You can't possibly think that. I didn't kiss him, but..."

Interrupting, "but what?"

"I didn't stop it either. I did tell him to leave. But instead he kissed me instead."

"If he is what you want, tell me now. I don't share Ana." His voice is low and menacing. He's never taken this tone with me before and his eyes have turned from warm to hard and cold. It's unsettling and it hurts me to know that my actions contributed to his need to distance himself this way with me.

Shaking my head, "I'm never going to be enough for him. Our relationship was doomed from the very beginning and the only reason he is around now is because of you, Gideon. He's jealous." Quietly I add, "he should be but you shouldn't feel that way," turning to look out the window and away from Gideon.

Turning me back around to face him, Gideon looks lost. Like he's trying to understand what I just said. "Tell me what that means, Ana."

Taking a deep breath I push Gideon to sit on the bed. He's so tall I can never look him in the eyes without standing on something. I want to make sure I am looking directly at him and not up to him when I answer this small, but huge, question of his. I place a hand on each of his cheeks, guiding his face up so that I can look him directly in the eye, "I still need time to decide if a relationship with you will work Gideon. I am still healing from my time with Christian. Yes, I'm the one that left but there was still damage done and I need to make sure that I am 100% okay before I jump into another relationship and we live 3000 miles apart. I like our friendship and don't want to damage that. I...well...I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost that and sometimes being in a relationship with someone can ruin the friendship those two people share if the relationship ends poorly.

"I meant what I said earlier about neither of you having a right to be jealous. I know that you are but you have no reason to be where Christian is concerned. He solidified that decision for me when he showed up here this morning demanding we get back together; when he showed no respect for my home or for those invited into my home. I can't be with someone that obviously lacks respect for me and isn't that a key component for a working long lasting relationship? I just need to make sure that I'm in a good place before you and I start anything. I want to be fair to you and I want a healthy relationship."

He wraps his arms around my waist holding me, hugging me to him when he tells me, "Ana, I'll give you the time you asked for but don't worry about the distance between us."

When I give him a quizzical look he reminds me, "I'm in the 'pleasure business' mostly. What's the point of having a few private planes that can be ready at a moments notice if we want to see each other? One can be ready at the drop of a hat to get me here or you to me."

I just giggle at his quick and easy response to one of the dilemmas that we may have if I choose to move forward with Gideon. Looking at him, his eyes are sparkling again, two beautiful blue sapphire orbs looking up at me from his seated position on my bed. Stepping back I hold out my hands to him, "Didn't you say something about exploring the city today?"

He takes my hand and I lead him out of the apartment. We don't have much time left before he leaves to go back to New York and I want to make some memories here with him while he's still here. We spend the morning walking around Pike Place Market and Elliot Bay Gardens. We stop for lunch at a little diner. The conversation is easy when we are talking but even when there is a lull in the conversation its not uncomfortable. He surprises me later that evening when I find that he has booked a private dining cruise so that we can enjoy the beauty and splendor of the sun setting on the Sound.

It's late when he drops me off back at my apartment saying that he has some things that he needs to get in order at the hotel and some work to catch up on before his flight. He then promises to stop by in the morning before he leaves for New York. I dress for bed and curl up in the comforter and the last thought I had before falling asleep is even with all the morning's dramas involving the Grey brothers, I still had a wonderful and relaxing day with Gideon and am actually dreading him leaving tomorrow.

**A/N 2: I have said before that the story Strong Steele by ellabankss is one of my favorites but I'm going to say it again! :) If you get a chance please stop over and read her story. It really is amazing. **

**Also please take the time to check out The Management of Christian Grey by Missreadingfool. I found it today and loved it! **


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**A/N: I hope you like this one! Hopefully I'll finish up my taxes tomorrow afternoon and can get you another chapter after that! **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I wake Sunday to a rather rainy and dreary day. It's kind of like how I feel and I wonder just how symbolic the day will be. Gideon is leaving today and I know that I will have to continue to adjust with life without him constantly cheering me up. I am beginning to realize just how much I have grown to depend on him in the short 5 days that he has been here with me. He has shown me that I will be fine moving on from Christian. That it is possible no matter how much my heart still hurts thinking about that man. I don't know if I'll ever get over Christian. He's my first love, the first man that I ever slept with but what he said to me, what he needs and what I'm unable to give to him tears my heart out every time I think about it.

Looking at the clock and seeing that it is after 8 am I know that I have to get up and get moving. Gideon should be here to say goodbye shortly and I want to go with him to the airport. I want as much time with him as possible before he boards that plane. Throwing the covers back and moving to stand quickly, I feel light headed and lose my balance causing me to sit on the side of the bed so as to not fall on the floor. I sit there for a minute getting my bearings before making a move to head to the shower. _What the hell was that? Maybe I just moved too quickly._

Moving to the bathroom and turning the water on to as hot as I can take, I stand under the shower head letting the water pour down over me and I go over the last few days. If I am to take Gideon seriously he has decided that he wants a relationship with me and if I believe Christian he wants me back. I have these two amazing me. Both similar and a lot of aspects and so very different in others.

But if I am honest with myself I know that I still love Christian. I care about Gideon but I love Christian. How is that fair? I am love a man that doesn't love me back. A man that is domineering, controlling, intimidating and insanely private. Who has made it perfectly clear that he can't live without his chosen lifestyle. A lifestyle that I can't be a part of and to make matters worse I can't even discuss the problems with my best friend because of that damn NDA that he had me sign. I can't go over my feelings because I can't discuss the WHY behind them. I can't get another perspective on the situation because of the secrecy involved with seeing Christian Grey.

Then there's Gideon. I care immensely about this man. He emits power, control, and sex appeal. He also has the ability to reign in his controlling tendencies with me. He allows me to breath and gives me space to be able to think. He's not afraid to show me off; spending time with me in public not just behind the closed doors of his hotel room or a private dining room. He's open. He'll share his thoughts with me on most topics that I've brought up. He's only shut me down once and that was about his family. There's something there that bothers him but he's not comfortable discussing that with me right now and I can't really blame him. I mean at the end of the day we haven't known each other that long.

By the time I'm done in the shower I am leaning toward Gideon but I admit that I am still confused with how I feel about each of them. I think I'll need to see if Kate can do a girl's night soon so maybe with her help I can work through these feelings and be able to make a decision between these two amazing gorgeous men. I'm just finishing up getting dressed when I hear the buzzer ring so I run to the intercom, "Gideon?"

"Good morning sweet girl. Going to let me up?" I can hear the light teasing tone in his voice and can imagine the smile on his face and it really does lift my spirits.

"Of course," I respond as I push the button allowing access to the building. Opening the front door and am standing in the doorway as he appears from the elevator. He looks amazing, wearing dark wash jeans, black blazer and a white tee-shirt that fits him like a glove; allowing me to see every muscle on his well sculptured chest. He's carrying a bouquet of star-gazer lilies. They are one of my favorites but hard to get this time of year and these are exquisite. Handing them to me he leans down and kisses my cheek.

"You look great sweet girl."

I don't know why but I blush every time I hear that endearment from him but it's so much worse when he adds it to a complement. "Thank you. Let me put these in some water."

Taking the flowers and going into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it with water for the flowers, Gideon sits on at the breakfast bar, "I have to leave earlier than expected, Ana. Some things have come up at the office that I have to be there to handle so I am actually running a little late but I wanted to see you before I left."

He looks so upset and I know it's because he didn't want to disappoint me. Walking around the breakfast bar and standing between his knees, I wrap my arms around his neck and look him in the eyes. Oh those gorgeous sapphire eyes looking back at me it's like he can see the turmoil rolling around inside me. I lean my forehead on his and tell him, "it's ok, Gideon. I understand that you have a company to run and a lot of people depend on you being at the helm of your empire. But I do want to go with you to the airport. To see you off," with a shy smile on my face, hoping he won't turn me down.

He leans in and kisses me ever so gently. Putting his hands on my waist he stands, "Ok. But we need to go. The plane leaves in about 45 minutes and I have some things that I want to run by you. So we can discuss them on the way."

I'm a little shocked but agree. I grab a light blazer and my purse, handing Gideon my keys so that he can lock the door. It's something I noticed over the last few days. He likes to make sure my surroundings are secure. Locking doors or unlocking them if need be, making sure they were locked to begin with. He brushes it off and says that it's just the gentlemanly thing to do. Opening and closing doors for a lady and that means locking and unlocking them if necessary but what he doesn't realize is that I notice that he scans a room before allowing me to pass by to enter it and that he pushes a locked door, hard, to make sure it won't "pop" open once the lock is set. Protective but not overly so and it really does make me feel cherished.

Getting into the Bentley out front, Gideon raises the privacy divider between us and the driver, "Where's Angus?" when I notice that he's not the one driving us.

"He's already at the plane. He took over the luggage. Actually, that's what I want to discuss with you." He's looking a bit green around the gills. Like this isn't a conversation that he wants to have. His eyes keep darting from my face to my hand, which he has taken in one of his, and back again.

Turning in my seat I put my other hand to his cheek, "Gideon, what's bothering you?"

"You know the other day, when I was in Portland?"

"Yes?" I'm confused about where he is going with this.

"I had asked if you would consider me leaving Angus here to watch after you while I was away..."

_Oh God Really? Is he going to go there again?_

I just look at him knowing he needs to finish what he's saying, hoping that I'm not right about what he's about to say.

"I'd like to leave someone now too. I need to know that you're okay and not being bothered and with Grey just showing up the other day... Well, I'd just need to know that you're not being put in a situation that you don't want to be in or you can't get out of." He pushes out everything and exhales loudly, like this was the worse possible thing to say to me.

_And I was right. Ugh!_ I turn and look out the window. I don't respond to him just looking at the passing cars on the road.

"Ana, say something please." He's pleading with me to respond. But I can't right now. I need to reign in my emotions because this just pisses me off. Why is it that people think that I can't take care of myself. Kate, Gideon, Christian... they all think that I must be some sort of delicate flower that must be protected at all costs! It's fucking frustrating as hell that is how I seem to people.

I turn to look back at Gideon, controlling my emotions and thoughts as I see the fear in his eyes. Those eyes are a weakness of mine where he is concerned. Then I see it and the only thing I can do is scream, "Gideon!" before the impact, before the shattering of glass, before the darkness takes over.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. I hope you enjoy! :~) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

My head feels fuzzy and I have a terrible headache. I am lying on a bed. Hmmm, how did I get to a bed? I remember going to the airport with Gideon…. Oh Shit! I open my eyes immediately and try to sit that hurts. I try to swing my legs out of the bed. I don't feel too badly, well other than my head right now but I notice the nice white cast on right leg. What the hell? I remember Gideon asking me to allow him to keep security in place for me while he was in New York and how upset I was that no one seems to think that I can take care of myself when I looked over to him and saw the car. It's funny, but it didn't seem as though the car even tried to slow down to avoid us. I don't remember anything after the breaking glass as the car hit us but I know that I need to find Gideon. I need to make sure that he's okay.

As I am sitting there contemplating how the hell I'm supposed to move around with this huge cast on my leg, no crutches or a wheelchair anywhere to be seen and no one around to help out, I hear a demanding voice that I know too well, "Where is she?"

Oh God. Not right now. I really don't want to deal with Christian Grey right now. Besides I want to know how he knew where I was. I hear a man tell him, "she's in room 415."

My room door is open and so I thought he would be in within seconds of hearing that. But he doesn't. It seems as if he goes to the room across the hall from mine. I can barely hear him, "Mia! Are you ok? Shit! You look like hell!"

I hear garbled words. I can't make them out. I guess it wasn't me he was here to see. I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I was holding; but am wondering why Mia, his little sister, would be in the hospital too. Oh well, I'm just glad it isn't me he starts demanding answers from.

My head is still woozy and I have to let someone know that I'm here. I find the buzzer on the table next to my bed and push it hoping a nurse will come in soon. While I'm waiting I decide that I need to call Kate. I have to let someone know what's happened. Just as I am dialing her number a nurse comes in. She has a pleasant smile on her face as she regards me holding the phone to my ear but not wanting to be rude and because I want information I hang up before finishing. "Well hello there. I'm Denise and I'll be your nurse for the day. How long have you been awake Miss Steele?"

Caught off guard that she knows my name, "umm 15 minutes or so. How do you know my name?"

She laughs, "Oh that handsome man that was brought with you refused any treatment at all until you had been looked after. You are a very lucky girl. Now, let's check you out and then I'll get a doctor down her to look you over as well."

"Wait. The man that came in with me, Gideon Cross. Where is he? Is he hurt? What happened?"

She just looks at me with concerned eyes. "Miss Steele you were brought in by ambulance this morning from the scene of an automobile accident. The doctor will go over your injuries when he gets here. Mr. Cross, the gentleman that came in with you is currently being seen by a doctor now. But I don't foresee any reason that he won't be up here shortly. Now I want you to lie back down. How's your head feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck…" I giggle at her.

"Seems it was a car," she smirks back at me. "I'll have some Tylenol ordered up for that. The doctor will be in shortly. We want you to rest," and with that she leaves the room.

I still need to call Kate. So I dial the phone again. She answers on the first ring, "Hello?"

"Kate, it's Ana."

"Oh My God Ana. I've been trying to reach you forever. You weren't answering your phone! Where are you?"

"Ummm. That's why I'm calling Kate. I'm in the hospital."

"Oh good. Elliot and I are on the way there now. Mia was in … wait," she stops confused, "did you say you were _IN _the hospital? Not _AT _the hospital?"

"Uh, yeah. Gideon and I were in an accident this morning. Some car hit us when we were on the way to the airport."

"Jesus! Elliot hit the fucking gas. They're both in the hospital. Ana, are you ok? What happened. Mia was in an accident this morning too. How the hell?"

Taking a deep breath and slowly releasing it I patiently wait for Kate to stop all the questions because I just don't have answers for them. I notice that a nice looking older man in a white lab coat enters my room, "Look Kate. I don't know anything about Mia. I just wanted you to know where I was. Go see Mia and I'll see you when you're done, ok? But now I have to go the doctor just came into my room."

"Ok. Elliot said that we should be there in about 5 minutes. I'll stop and see you while Elliot is checking on Mia."

"Thanks Kate. See you soon."

The doctor walks over to me and is shining a light in my eyes as he introduces himself, "Well good afternoon Miss Steele. How are you doing? I'm Dr. Anderson."

"All in all doctor I feel ok. I have a bit of a headache though," I say as he is now pushing on my stomach and asking me how that feels. My only response is that I'm a bit sore. He just nods his head. Stopping every so often to write in my chart.

"Well, all in all Miss Steele, you are one lucky lady. You were unconscious when you came in and after evaluating you in the ER you were placed in a cast for the fracture in your ankle and a codeine drip for pain. You also have a concussion, therefore the headache and contusions to your mid section from your seat belt. We ran some tests as well. Purely procedure, but once we got them back we stopped the codeine immediately. Tylenol will be given if you need any further pain relievers."

I wonder why the change in pain meds. I know that I look confused as he was finishing up informing me of my injuries. I have to be honest and say that I have to agree though, it could have been so much worse.

"Miss Steele?" The doctor is noticing my confusion and mistaking it for something else, "The baby is just fine, too. The contusions from the seatbelt didn't harm your baby. Like I said, you're a very lucky young woman."

I know my eyes got huge, my mouth dropped open and I can feel the blood drain from my face. I just sat there gaping at this man like he's lost his ever-loving mind. Did he just say baby? What!

"You didn't know?"

"No. No. I didn't know." I'm shaking my head. Oh my God. What am I going to do? Pregnant? "I was on the pill." I state incredulously.

"What didn't you know?" I hear from the doorway and all I can do is turn away from the sound of that beautiful baritone voice that I have come to treasure and start crying. I can't believe this is happening right now. I can't believe that I am breaking down in front of some doctor that has just given me the most shocking news of my life and the man who I have come to cherish just for being in my life.

What the hell am I supposed to do now and how in the hell am I suppose to tell Christian?


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**A/N: As it took so long to get the last chapter up I'd thought I'd give ya'll another today! This is for mirasmommy: your PM made me smile and giggle. I hope you don't scream at me too much for this one! :) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Please review as all reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

I hear Gideon ask the doctor how I'm doing. I'm laying in a freaking hospital bed with a broken ankle, a concussion, crying my eyes out not daring to look at him. I know he's asking because he cares and I obviously am not in any shape to answer him when the doctor responds, "She'll be fine. Dr. Greene will be down in a bit to finish checking on her. I think that we'll be able to release her tomorrow but that will depend on Dr. Greene's evaluation. Observation at this point is the best course just to make sure there are no further complications."

"Thank you doctor."

I hear the door shut. Thankfully the doctor had closed it when he came in to do his assessment of my injuries earlier. After talking with Kate for those few short minutes, know that Mia too is in the hospital and evidently her room is across the hall as I heard Christian talking to her. Thankfully he doesn't know I'm here. Just thinking about him and now knowing that I'm pregnant with his child causes me to cry even harder. Gideon has moved a chair closer to the bed. I can't even look at him. I know I need to check how he is doing, I mean he was in the car with me but right now I am barely functioning myself. I need to get this out so that I can deal with everything.

He gently moves my hair from my face. He's leaning so close, one hand on my head and the other holding one of mine. "What's wrong, sweet girl. It's just observation. They'll let you out tomorrow, and I'm not going anywhere until you are home safe."

I don't respond. I can't. I just don't feel anything right now other than despair. What am I going to do? Christian and I are no longer together. I am a 21-year-old that just finished college and have only been working a "real job" for a few weeks. I share an apartment with my best friend. I don't have the means to take care of and raise a child by myself. What the hell am I going to do? All these thoughts are running through my head in circles and I can't stop the crying.

I feel Gideon's lips on my forehead giving me a gentle kiss and softly says, "Ana. Calm down sweet girl. Talk to me. I heard that last bit with the doctor. You said you didn't know and that you were on the pill. I thought we have built enough trust that you would know that you could tell me anything. Are you pregnant?"

I hear the anxiety in his voice. I have never lied to Gideon and I won't start now. I just feel like I am about to loose someone of great importance in my life. Someone that I have come to depend on more than he'll possibly know. I can't look at him but I just nod and cry harder.

"Shhhhh," he says as he stands and moves me to sit down next to me and cradles me in his lap, ""Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you."

Those are the words he said to me that first night I met him in New York. The night the paparazzi photographed us. He's said them again at the Coping Together fundraiser at the Grey's home. These nine little words, coming from him make me feel safe and treasured and I am thankful that he is saying them now even though I know that he can't possibly mean them. I mean, I had baggage before...Christian Grey sized baggage and that's not so easy to deal with but now a baby! But he just keeps repeating them, stroking my hair while my head is in his lap crying my heart out.

Suddenly the door flies open, I jump and Gideon's arm covers me, holding me protectively when we both hear, "ANA! Shit! What the hell happened this morning! First Mia and now you! Wait why are you crying? Are you in pain? Do you need meds? I can track down a damn nurse and get some for you. Gideon why the hell are you just sitting there! Can't you see Ana needs a nurse or a doctor for god's sake she's in pain!"

Wiping my tears I giggle. Kate on a rampage when there's no need because she won't let anyone say anything has my tears drying up. God I needed that. I needed to be able to laugh. I look up at Gideon who has a wide-eyed grin on his face, shaking his head in exasperation. I pull myself up, with Gideon's help to stabilize me and lean back onto his chest. "Kate. Stop. Take a deep breath and relax. I'm fine."

"Your not fine, Ana. Your fucking crying. You don't fucking cry. The only time you've ever cried is because of that asshole across the hall."

Oh shit. I haven't said two words to Gideon. He doesn't know that Christian is across the hall visit Mia, who was evidently in an accident this morning as well. I can feel him tense up as she said that. I grab his hand and squeeze reassuring him that I'm okay but I don't feel him relax. I still need to find out if he is okay from the accident as well. I mean he's walking around but I haven't even looked at him let alone asked about him. But I need to get Kate to calm down.

"Kate. I'm fine. Really. Tell me about Mia. What happened? How is she?" I need to try to deflect Kate onto another subject. I can't deal with her when she's being super irrational and demanding.

"I came straight to your room first. I haven't checked on her yet. But Christian called Elliot early this morning saying that he'd gotten a call from Mia's security that she had been in an accident on the way to the gym. We met Christian in the hallway on our way in. He said that she told him that her brakes failed and she went through a red light causing the accident.

"She's got some bruises and a broken nose from her airbag but you know Mia. She just said that she hoped the plastic surgeon could give her a better looking nose!" At which we both laugh. Leave it to Mia to find the silver lining to a horrible morning. Kate finishes, " Christian is having his security pull the CCTV footage to see if they can find out who Mia hit. He wants to make sure they are okay"

"He's not worried about why her brakes failed?" Gideon asked.

"Oh he'll probably have it gone through with a fine tooth comb if I know him at all," I respond shaking my head.

Just then the door to the room opens up and a nurse rolls in a huge machine as a doctor follows looking down reading a chart. "Miss Steele, I'm Dr. Greene. I need to do a check-up on you to determine the status of the baby."

"What baby?" Kate asks incredulously.

I sink further back into Gideon's arms. "Ummm... I just found out I'm pregnant Kate."

Looking at my best friend, she appears to be in shock. She's just standing there looking at me and looking at Gideon. Back and forth between us and I know she's trying to figure out if this child is Gideon's. I decide to help her, "Christian's Kate," as her mouth drops.

The doctor has asked for everyone to leave so that she can do the exam and as much as I want Gideon to stay I can't ask him to do that. This isn't his child. He shouldn't have to be subjected to all this out of some sense of loyalty. "Kate, go check on Mia. Come give me a report when you're done. Please." She walks over to me, still to stunned to say anything more than she'll be back after a while.

Gideon just looks at the doctor like she's lost her mind. He steps back and moves the chair he previously occupied to a corner and says that he isn't going anywhere.

"Are you the father?"

"No. I'm a friend."

"Well then I am not going to ask you again but this is a private matter and you will need to leave. You can come back when we are finished here."

I look over to Gideon and I don't think I have ever seen him look so angry when he replies, "Unless she," pointing to me, "tells me to leave, I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere."

"Gideon, its fine. You don't have to stay for this." I tell him. He looks like I just punched him in the gut. It's the first time I notice that he has a rather large bandage on his neck.

Looking at me, his eyes softening, "I want to stay, Ana."

Not looking for a fight and because I am tired and want to sleep and won't be able to until this exam is over I tell the doctor that he's fine to stay. She just grunts and tells him to move to the other side of the bed. He comes around and holds my hand as the doctor proceeds to tell me that according to the test results I am about five or six weeks along and because it's so early that she would need to do a trans-vaginal exam to check on the baby.

The nurse is setting up the machine and getting the instruments prepared as the doctor puts my feet in stirrups. She is sitting at the end of the bed and tells me that I will feel pressure and that it may be uncomfortable but she needs to be able to check that everything is moving along correctly and there have been no repercussions from the accident. All the while Gideon is squeezing my hand reassuringly taking in everything she is doing.

As she moves the condom covered wand into place and asks me if I am ready, I can only nod. I am still taking it all in. Even the fact that I am pregnant to begin with is a huge thing to accept. I close my eyes as I feel the wand. Oh God. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe I'm pregnant.

She is saying a lot of hmmm's and ahhh's. Then there's a "oh there." Both Gideon and I turn our heads to look at the monitor. She stops and highlights the spot where she says the baby is. Gideon is leaning over me trying to get a closer look. I hear him say, "no bigger than a chicken nugget."

"A chicken nugget huh?" I giggle.

"Yep. Kinda adorable. Must take after his mom." He says with a smirk. All I can do is laugh.

"There's that laugh that I missed today." Giving me that lopsided one dimpled smile that I love so much on him.

The doctor interrupts, "Miss Steele, would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

"Isn't it too early?" My eyes wide.

"No. The baby looks to be about 6 weeks 2 days so with the trans-vaginal we should be able to pick up the heartbeat. A normal ultrasound it would be a few more weeks before we could pick it up."

My eyes light up, "Yes please."

Dr. Greene then turns a dial on the machine and the room is filled with a whooshing noise then you can hear it. That's my baby's heart. Listen to it go. Oh wow! I know I have a huge smile on my face and I squeeze Gideon's hand harder.

Just as we are listening my room door slams open and Christian comes storming in "Anastasia! I just found out you were in here. Are you ..." He doesn't finish his sentence before taking in the scene. Gideon holding my hand, the doctor between my legs and the heartbeat of our baby the music in the air.

"What the FUCK is going on in here?"


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**A/N: This one is for tenalaw... A big thank you for being my 150th follower and I hope that I didn't make you wait too long for another chapter. Sorry it wasn't three yesterday! :~) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**I'm going to try Gideon's POV in this chapter. Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

The sound of my baby's heartbeat was amazing...I didn't think that we would be able to hear it so early. It's so quick. It makes me think of a hummingbird's wings, how fast they move, the baby's heartbeat sounds like what I would think of what the hummingbird's wings would sound like. I know that I am just sitting gaping at the monitor, squeezing Gideon's hand. This quick whooshing sound has just turned this entire situation real. I still don't know how I'm supposed to tell Christian but I'm glad that I'm not alone right now.

So many emotions are playing out in my head. Confusion, fear, gratitude, love and a sense of reassurance. Suddenly the door is thrown open and I hear a panicked voice, "Anastasia! I just found out you were in here. Are you ..."

He stops and doesn't finish. He's looking from the doctor to me, back to the doctor. He's eyes narrow as they land on Gideon and he roars, "What the FUCK is going on in here?"

Oh shit! Thermonuclear Christian has just made his appearance. I shrink back into the bed from the rage I hear in his voice. But before I can even respond the doctor says in clear voice, "I am examining my patient and you are interrupting. Please leave."

"Like fuck I'm going anywhere. I want answers and I want them now."

Gideon tries to let go of my hand but I just squeeze tighter. He turns his head to me, "no worries sweet girl. Remember what I said. I meant every word. I'll handle this," he leans down and kisses my forehead, releases my hand and winks at me with a smirk on his handsome face. Oh god! This isn't going to be good.

Gideon walks straight up to Christian, who hasn't taken his eyes off of the monitor. The doctor is just ending the exam and his eyes turn to me. He looks angrier than I have ever seen before. Gideon is now standing in front of him, effectively blocking his view of me. "Grey, you need to leave."

"Fuck you Cross. I want answers and I want them now!" he spits.

The doctor just turns to both men and addresses them, "I don't know what is going on right now but you two will take it out of this room or I will call security to remove you. I will not have you upsetting my patient especially while I am in the room. NOW LEAVE."

Both men look at the small woman standing next to the machine that had the most beautiful music on it a minute ago. I can't wait to hear that sound again. But right now I need to concentrate on the two very large men standing 3 feet from my bed. Gideon is a good 3 inches taller then Christian. Gideon is blocking not just Christian's view of me but mine of Christian's. I can't see his face and I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad. It's a good thing that Dr. Anderson was already in here and removed the heart monitor from me or everyone in this room would know that I am damn near having a panic attack. I see Gideon wave to the door almost like he is dismissing Christian and as he addresses the Dr. Greene's statement, "Don't worry doc we're both stepping out into the hall." His eyes never leaving Christian.

"I'm not leaving," Christian again spits out venomously.

"Yes, you are. We both are. Neither of us need to upset Ana right now. You already are and I won't stand here and allow it. Now if I have to physically remove your ass from this room don't think that I can't do it."

"I want answers." God he's like a fucking dog with a bone. He won't leave it alone. Why can't he just listen for once and get the out.

"THAT'S IT! BOTH OF YOU GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" I yell.

Everyone stops dead in their tracks. No one is moving. Not the nurse, the doctor, or the two juvenile men having a standoff in my hospital room; and they all turn and look at me. Like I'm the idiot in the room! I don't know why the damn doctor hasn't carried on with calling security but I am all set. I want everyone out and I am going to make myself clear on that.

I try to take a calming breath, "Both of you leave now. Take your pissing contest somewhere else. I am in no mood to deal with either of you right now. I need to speak with the doctor, I want to see Kate and I am fucking tired. Leave both of you." Closing my eyes, "Christian I'll talk to you before I leave but not now. Go calm down somewhere. If you come back in here like that again I'll throw you out AGAIN. And Gideon, I'll see you later, ok?"

Both men are just staring at me. Christian turns his back and storms back out of the room and Gideon comes back over and kisses my forehead, "Is this what you want sweet girl?"

Looking into his insanely gorgeous blue eyes filled with hurt all I can manage to say is, "please find Kate and come back to me after you have dinner?"

He squeezes my shoulder, "without doubt. Don't worry, I'll handle Grey. He won't be back in today."

I just look back at him and I know he sees the distress and hurt I feel right now. Then he leaves the room. I turn to look at the doctor, "Why didn't you follow through with your threat to call security?"

She looks a little sheepish when she says that she thought that my boyfriend could handle the situation. At which I glare at her, "He's not my boyfriend and you shouldn't have left it to come to that. Those two men could kill each other if they'd have started throwing punches, which is where that situation was headed. Instead you allowed your patient, who by the way just found out she is pregnant after being in a car accident, get stressed out. How the hell is that looking after the best needs of your patient?"

Instantly contrite, "I'm sorry Miss Steele. I could've handled that better but as I had already determined the age of the baby and the fact that it suffered no ill side effects from your accident this morning. I didn't follow my better judgment in the matter."

"No you didn't," I didn't feel good about dressing down a doctor but this woman's audacity to not follow hospital procedure thinking that two men fighting in my hospital room would be better than causing a newly pregnant woman stress needed to be addressed. "Thank you for you apology. Just think better next time something like this happens. It would be a shame that I would need to lodge a complaint with the hospital about this. Even I know that stress on a pregnant woman is not good for a baby. Now, when can I go home." I say crossing my arms over my chest.

I'm angry. Angry at the fact that I'm a single expectant mother, angry that the birth control pills didn't work, angry at Christian for storming in here and demanding answers, angry at Gideon for getting in Christian's face. I mean seriously did he think that it would be that easy to remove Christian from a room that he didn't want to leave without causing some sort of scene? Angry at this obviously unintelligent doctor that can't tell two men with high testosterone levels could come to violence? Fuck.

The nurse has already left the room with the ultrasound machine and the Dr. Greene is finishing up some notes in my chart when she finally responds, "I think that we will keep you overnight Miss Steele just for observation, but I don't see any reason we can't discharge you tomorrow morning."

"Thank you." Effectively dismissing this doctor.

GPOV

Fuck I have never seen Ana so pissed. Sure I have seen a myriad of emotions from her since we've met but never this pissed. She effectively silenced the entire room. This tiny woman lying in that hospital bed with a cast on her foot and a doctor between her legs yelling like a banshee at me and Grey. I guess she can make her wishes known when she so chooses. But she doesn't need to be stressed out. She pregnant for God's sake and I should have handled the situation with Grey better. Fuck!

After leaving her room, I lean against the wall next to the door with my eyes closed, trying to take everything in from what has happened today. Other than a few scrapes on my neck and a headache I came out of that accident in better shape than Ana did. I don't even know what the hell happened but when I couldn't wake her after the impact, my heart lurched in my chest. I was so fucking worried. Thank God I purchased the Bentley with all its safety features or that accident could have been so much worse. The doctors think that Ana's ankle hit the door when that car hit us and that's how she fractured it. But with the side curtain airbags, and the overhead airbags did their jobs. I called Angus once we arrived at the hospital to let him know what happened and to have him call Scott, my PA, and have him reschedule everything on my calendar this week. I needed to get back today but with the accident I'm sure that everything can be held over without any problems and if there are Scott will be the first to call.

My emotions are all over the fucking map where this sweet little girl are concerned. I am used to getting what I want. I have never had to put so much work into getting a woman before either. Women usually love when I choose to show them any type of attention but not Ana. I mean I'm not short in the looks department and hell most women can't look past the money that comes along with me. Most are just trying to get what they can out of me and I'm not stupid enough not to realize that. But again not Ana. She could care less what my bank account looks like and she's not short on beauty either. She is beautiful inside and out and she is the first woman who I have ever put my life on hold for. She is the first woman who I have allowed to basically call the shots as to where any type of relationship we would have will go. I want her like I have never wanted another woman before. She has the purest of hearts and deserves nothing but the best this world has to offer and I can make sure she has that. Her and her baby. Shaking my head, a baby? I've never been around babies before let alone dated someone who has one or is pregnant. But that beautiful sweet girl in there deserves the best and she makes me want to be better and I will be...for her, for them both.

But I am a control freak. I need to know that things are done my way and when I want them done but I have held that in with Ana. I don't think it will work with her. After she told me some of how her relationship with Grey was I knew that I couldn't try to control her. I had to be able to work with her not drive over her. After her relationship with him, she would probably run for the hills if that is how I treated her.

The nurse is leaving with the machine that the doctor used to examine Ana. She said she wanted me to send Kate in so I need to find her. I push myself up from the wall and standing there right in front of me is none other than that asshole Grey. Staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest, hair all a mess, narrowed eyes, staring daggers my direction.

"What the fuck are you staring at Grey?"

"How long have you been fucking her Cross? Should I be saying congratulations?" he snarls at me.

Is he fucking shitting me? He thinks the baby is mine? Maybe I can have some fun with this. "Hmmm, yeah maybe you should be," I smirk at him. The look on his face is fucking priceless. But just as he takes a step forward, Elliot and Kate come out of the room across from Ana's.

Turning my attention to Kate, "Ana is asking for you."

She smiles a small smile walks past me, putting her hand on my arm as she passes, "Thanks," then proceeds to knock on Ana's door before she opens it and enters.

Great now I am left with both Grey brothers. I've already decked Elliot. I won't hesitate to do it again. He's looking between both me and his brother. He walks over to Grey, "Mia's asking for you. I think it's best if you go in and see her. Don't start anything here Christian. It won't help the situation with either of the girls if you do."

Grey looks at his brother, nods once and goes into the room that Kate and Elliot just came out of. Elliot turns his attention to me, "I don't know much about you Cross and what I do know I'm not sure that I like. But I will say this. Christian will always protect what he thinks is his and he believes that Ana and he should be together. I wouldn't get in his way if I were you. But hey, just friendly advice."

My narrowed gaze is on him, "He didn't do a good job protecting her when you and Kate weren't around now did he? She's not his anymore and hopefully she won't ever be again. She has a choice now that she didn't have before. Me. Maybe your brother should consider that and stay out of my way." I turn and head down the hall. I need to get security in place for Ana while Grey is going to be around. I know she's uncomfortable with a detail but she needs one right now. I promised her I would take care of Grey and that I would protect her and that's exactly what I am going to do.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**A/N: Just a filler for now... Christian and Ana's discussion up next chapter! :) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

There was a gentle knock on the door right before it opened and Kate walked in. She pulls the chair over next to the bed and looks me right in the eye. With her eyebrow raised and an expectant look on her face I know she is waiting for me to tell her everything without bombarding me in her usual way.

Taking and then exhaling a long breath, "I didn't know Kate. I just found out about five minutes before you came barreling in here. I don't know what I'm going to do. Christian walked in while the doctor was here doing an ultrasound checking on the baby and if looks could kill we would have all been six feet under."

"Christian, huh? How far along are you?"

"Yes Christian, he's the father. I haven't slept with anyone other than Christian," exasperated that I would need to even say this to her. I didn't think that I would have to explain to Kate of all people. I mean I know I will have to explain to Christian. I can only imagine what he's going to think. But as usual it will probably be the worst.

She's looking at me with a mixture of sympathy and pity at the same time, when she opens her mouth and voices my own concerns, "I don't think that he's going to take it well. He doesn't seem like the kind of man who wants a cute little rugrat running amok in his world," she takes my hand and gives a gentle squeeze and a small smile.

Closing my eyes, "I know. He walked in while the doctor was doing the ultrasound Kate. She had just turned on the volume so that we could hear the heartbeat."

"WHAT? Are you serious Steele? Gideon was in here. He heard his child's heartbeat while you were being examined and another man was in the room? Fuck Steele. That's shit!"

She's horrified. I can't blame her. To some degree so am I, but Christian didn't even know I was in the hospital when the doctor came in. She has moved to start pacing the small room.

"It gets worse Kate."

She stops pacing and faces me her green eyes flashing and narrowing on me. "What do you mean it gets worse?"

"He demanded to know what was going on and refused to leave the room when the doctor told him to. Gideon tried to get him to leave but he wouldn't..."

She interrupts, "they didn't start beating the hell out of each other did they? I mean I just saw them both and they looked fine. Well physically anyway."

"No. What do you mean physically?"

"I just came from Mia's room. Christian looked pissed and was staring at Gideon, who by the way just looks tired and drained. They were having words before we left the room. I left them and Elliot in the hall when I came in here. We haven't heard world war three yet so I am assuming Elliot calmed them both down. No stop deflecting and finish. What happened when Gideon tried to get Christian to leave."

Taking another deep breath and exhaling, "I had to scream at both of them to leave. That stupid doctor was just going to let them go at it. Seemed she thought Gideon was my boyfriend or something and thought he could handle it."

"What?! You're kidding me right?"

"No after they finally left the room I dressed down the doctor for not taking into consideration stress levels for a pregnant woman and handling the matter by calling security."

She's laughing, "Oh I bet Mr. Moneybags himself was fucking livid. I don't imagine he's been thrown out of many places."

"No. He didn't seem to pleased but I told him that I would talk with him tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to this conversation Kate. I have to tell him. He has to know that this is his baby. I don't know how he is going to handle this. We were together such a short time," shaking my head as a tear starts making its way down my cheek. "Hell Kate. I don't know how I'm going to handle this."

She runs over to me, sitting on the side of the bed this time and takes my hand again. "Don't worry Steele. You have me and Ethan, we'll both be here when you need us. I'm sure Elliot and the Greys will want to be there too. No matter how that douchebag handles this situation. Your not alone." She winks.

"Oh Kate, this isn't how it's supposed to be. I love him. I've tried my damnedest not to have the feelings that I have for him but I love him. He's the one that said that I couldn't he's the one that said that it was wrong. I don't want to go back into that place where I was when you came home from Barbados. But it's never far away."

She gives me a skeptical look with that perfectly arched eyebrow of hers. I know she's thinking about Gideon and she confirms that, "You've been doing fine since Gideon's been here, Ana."

"Kate, he's a friend. Nothing more. Not right now anyway. He makes me remember what its like to be able to care about someone freely. He talks with me. I'm sure in the business world he can be quite domineering, as can Christian, but he isn't like that with me and it makes me cherish him the more for it. He helps me cope with what I've been going through. We've discussed some of mine and Christian's relationship. He doesn't judge and he doesn't pressure. He just listens and lets me know that he'll be there for me when and if I need him to be."

"Sounds pretty good to me Steele. But it also sounds like that man is falling for you and you need to make a decision between the two. It's not fair to lead either of them on."

"Don't you think that I don't know that! Shit. I don't have a decision at this point. Do I Kate? I mean fuck that's been taken away. I am carrying Christian Grey's baby for crying out loud." I almost yell at her.

"Anastasia Rose Steele. I. Do. Not. Want. To. Hear. You. Say. That. Again." Saying every word with emphasis. "You always have a choice. If you love and want to be with Mr. Moneybags and raise this baby then good, great, wonderful. If you want to be with someone who not only says that he cares about you but actually SHOWS you that he cares about you and can move on from your feelings regarding Mr. Moneybags than even fucking better but you will not sit there and say that you have no choices."

With tears openly running down my face, I just sit up and hug my best friend. I'm really glad that I have her in my life. She's always around for me when I need her to give me some of her "tough" love and to break though all the bull shit and give me a reality check when needed.

"Thanks Kate. I think about what you said but right now I think that I just want to sleep. They should be releasing me tomorrow sometime."

"Ok. I get it. You're overloaded and need to think about everything. That's fine. I'll go." She gives me one last hug and leaves.

I lay there and think about everything that has happened today. The feeling of dread that Gideon was leaving. The feeling of loss when I woke up here not knowing if Gideon was okay or not. Finding out I'm pregnant. Revisiting every last emotion that Christian Grey has ever made me feel. Seeing him storm into my room sounding like he was scared for me before he realized what was going on. I know that I still love him. I know that, especially now carrying his child, that I will always love him and that he will be a part of me but I also know that Kate is right. He's not the type of man that will want to have children with someone who he doesn't love. He said that he is incapable of love; I don't believe that but he seems to believe it. I will need him to be there for this baby but I don't know how that will work when he and I can't even be around each other because it hurts me too much to know that I won't ever be enough for him. My mind keeps going round in round with the same thoughts until finally I fall asleep exhausted.

When I wake the sun is streaming in the room and I wonder what time it is. Looking around the room I notice Gideon. He pulled the chair close to the bed and is asleep with his head on his arms on the side of my bed. I just gaze at him for a few minutes. I can't believe he slept here last night. I don't remember him coming back into the room after Kate left but he can't have slept well hunched over like that all night. Carefully I pull myself up to a sitting position and move my hand to his hair, moving a lock that has fallen into his face. He looks so peaceful, so handsome and I have to say that I'm lucky that I know him. I know that I may lose him over this. What is he going to want with a girl with as much baggage as I've got now. Maybe its a good thing that he lives in New York.

"hmmm Good morning sweet girl." I see him crack a small smile as his sleepy eyes slowly open. I am always shocked by just how dark a blue those eyes are.

"Good morning to you too. Sleep well?" I ask with a smirk.

"I've had better nights but I didn't want to be anywhere else. So here I stayed. Right by you. I wanted to be here when you woke." As he's talking he sits up and stretches and I can hear the knots in his back pop as his spine straightens out.

"You know you didn't have to do that Gideon. I wasn't the only one in a car accident yesterday. You need to get a proper nights rest so that you don't start snap crackle and popping every time you move." I giggle, but he also knows I serious.

"Ahh well a little snap crackle and pop never hurt anyone," he laughs back. "So how is mommy and baby this morning?"

Almost like a glass of ice water, his question cuts my good humor. "Seems all fine. The doctor gave the all clear last night to be able to be discharged this morning. What time is it?"

He looks at his watch, "almost 8 am. Would you like me to get you something for breakfast?"

"I would actually love a cup of tea but I'm really not hungry right now. Maybe if they release me early enough we can get something on the way back to my apartment?"

Bending to kiss my forehead, "Sure thing sweet girl. I'll be back in a few minutes. But before I go, I wanted to let you know I stationed security at the door last night. I didn't want you harassed if Grey decided to show back up before I got back here. He is still there and will be until you are discharged."

Now that just pisses me off. It's a typical Christian Grey move and Gideon's never behaved that way with me and I don't want him to start now. "Why did you do that? I didn't ask for that and I don't want it. Christian isn't going to hurt me Gideon."

"I didn't want you stressed out. I promised you that everything will be ok. And I will make sure that in your world it is. The stress isn't good for you nor is it any good for the baby." The sparkle in his eyes is gone. He is serious in what he's saying. He's doing what he thinks is in my best interest to protect me. But its not ok that he didn't discuss this with me first.

"I know that you want to protect me Gideon. But I'm not a china doll. I can deal with things. I don't need to be sheltered from everything or anyone that could cause me stress. You should have told me about security before just stationing someone there."

"I would have told you last night but you were sleeping sweet girl."

Oh yeah. There's that. I guess I wasn't really coherent enough for him to be able to tell me any earlier than he did. Crossing my arms over my chest, "Fine. I was dead to the world asleep. You're here now though so please send him on his way. Besides, I told Christian yesterday that I would talk to him today before I leave and I still plan on doing that."

Gideon's beautiful blue eyes narrow infinitesimally but before he can say anything I go on, "He needs to know about this baby. I don't know how he's going to take it and I would rather not have this conversation at the apartment. Please Gideon, just send the security detail home."

He softens a bit, "I'll send them home when I get back with your tea but when you have this conversation with Grey I will be right outside your door. I will not leave you. Do you understand. I said it yesterday in the car, I need to know that your protected and if security is not there I'll do it myself." And with that he leaves the room.

Sagging against the pillows behind me I can't help but think what am I going to do with that man! Hell what is it with powerful men that they feel the need to control so much. Gideon doesn't usually go all overprotective and domineering on me and he just did and I'm not sure that I like it. I like the man that discusses things with me openly and listens to my opinions and right now he's not doing that. He's acting more like Christian than himself and don't want that.

I hear loud voices outside my door. What the hell is going on out there? Sitting up a bit the door pops open and I can make out Christian's voice. The others must be Gideon's security guy. I can only surmise that Christian came early to talk thinking Gideon isn't going to be here. Well I guess it's time to face the music. I holler out so that hopefully they both can hear me, "If that's Mr. Grey, LET HIM IN."

The scuffling suddenly stops. "I said let him in." I say again in a loud voice just under a yell. I don't want to wake everyone up on this hall. A man I have never seen before comes in, "Ma'am did I hear you correctly? You want me to let Mr. Grey in? I have orders from Mr. Cross that no one other than a Miss Kavanaugh or himself are to enter."

"Umm. I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Sullivan Ma'am."

"Ok Sullivan. Just so you know I didn't request your presence last night or now and I don't need it. And yes, you heard me correctly. Please allow Mr. Grey entry. Mr. Cross will be back shortly. Everything will be fine."

He looks pensive at my statement but he just moves to hold the door open so that Christian can walk through. He nods to me and closes the door behind him as he leaves.

Christian is standing there staring at me. Not saying a word. Just staring. Great. Wonderful. I am not looking forward to this conversation but he does need to know the truth. I take a deep breath and greet him, "Good Morning Christian."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**A/N: I really don't think that I did this chapter justice and am not really happy with it, So I'm going to apologize now. Please don't hate me for this. Things work out. Keep the faith. :) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**I'm going to try Gideon's POV in this chapter. Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! Again I do not own the characters.**

"Good morning Christian," I know that I am looking at him with wide eyes. I didn't expect him so early and he knows it. He's just staring at me. Not moving a muscle. Just standing there, like a bump on a log., and before I know it that thought made me giggle out loud.

I notice his eyes soften just a tad before his mask slams back in place. "Something funny Anastasia?"

Shit. I really hope this goes better than it is starting out. "Umm. No. Just a random thought." I suddenly realize that I need to use the bathroom and start looking around the room trying to see if a pair of crutches have been left anywhere.

He's taking in every movement I make. "What are you looking for?"

I sit up, throwing the blanket back and go to move my casted leg over the side of the bed when he is suddenly standing right in front of me. "What are you doing?"

I glare back at him. I have no intention of answer his questions if he can't even say good morning to me and all he can do is ask silly questions. I don't see any crutches but I have to go potty bad so I move to slide off the bed under the support of my good foot. I'll hold on to whatever I can find and hop to the bathroom if I need to but I am going to pee before I embark on this catastrophe waiting to happen.

"Please move." Once I'm on my foot. I'm leaning holding onto the bed. Ok. I know I can do this. I mean we've all played hopscotch at sometime in our lives. Even as clumsy as I am I was pretty good at it.

"No. What are you doing Anastasia?" His voice harsh, reminding me of our last conversation in Escala when I left him.

Ah! Insufferable man. "If you must know I need to use the bathroom. There aren't any crutches in here so I am going to hop my ass over to the bathroom and go before I wet myself. Is that ok with you?"

He has the decency to look shocked but then takes a deep breath and then scoops me up and starts walking.

"Christian! Put me down!" I want him to put me down but my God his arms feels wonderful around me. Ugh I hate these mixed feelings but the overwhelming feeling that I have for him is love. That never changes.

"I'm not having you 'hop' to the bathroom just so that you can fall over and do yourself more damage," he says quietly as he sets me down in the bathroom, steps out and closes the door.

After using the bathroom and washing up, I open the door and he's still standing by the door. He picks me back up and as he's carrying me back to the bed the door opens and Gideon walks in, "I have your tea sweet gi..." He stops mid-sentence as he sees Christian holding me.

"What are you doing in here?" Gideon is seething. I imagine that I can see steam blowing out of his ears. The menace dripping from his voice is palpable. I need to get him calm before this turns into another face off between these two.

"Christian, set me down please." Looking at him.

He's smirking back. He knows exactly what he's doing. Goading, "Sure thing, baby."

I close my eyes. It's been so long since he's called me that. But I also know that the reason he's saying it isn't because he means it but because he's trying to piss Gideon off. "Just put me back on the bed please Christian. Gideon, I needed to use the bathroom. Christian was helping as they haven't brought me in any crutches yet."

"Sullivan shouldn't have let him in." He states matter of factly. His eyes never leaving Christian as he puts me back down on the bed.

"Yes, well I told you how I felt about the security detail Gideon. I told Christian that I would talk to him today before I get released, being that you'll be taking me home this morning, I told your Mr. Sullivan to let him in." I finish with a bit of sarcasm because he didn't tell me about the security. He just took my decision away from me and he needs to know that I won't have him doing that.

Christian tried to cover a chuckle with a cough but I turned to him as well, "And don't think that you can come in here the way you did this morning. I will tell you what you want to know but you will not just stand there and stare at me."

Then addressing both men, "We," motioning to all of us, "are adults and I expect that when the three of us are in the same room that you two be civil to each other. If you can't handle that then there's the door. Use it. I will not allow anymore stress than is absolutely necessary." I say the last bit looking at Gideon.

He knows why. He knows about the pregnancy. He knows I shouldn't be stressed out. I'm pleading with him and I know he can see it in my eyes. I'm worried about this conversation with Christian. That's stress enough. He takes a deep breath, and walks over to me on the bed.

He sets the tea on the table beside the bed and bends to my ear, "ok sweet girl. I get it. No stress." He then kisses my forehead and I swear I hear Christian growl next to me. "I'll leave you two to talk, but Grey," as he finally addresses Christian directly, "understand this, I will be right outside that door. I'll give you two the time you need to discuss what you need to but I won't let you harass her. Tread carefully."

As he turns to leave Christian calls out, "I don't take too well to threats Cross."

"Not a threat." I hear Gideon say as the door closes.

Thank god that's over. Now time for the dreaded discussion with Christian. "Christian please have a seat. We need to talk."

"Well Miss Steele," he starts as he pulls the chair near the bed, "I want to say congratulations first." His eyes cold. Mine go wide. Congratulations? Seriously?

"Why are you congratulating me Christian?" I narrow my gaze at him confused at why he would put it that way. "This situation involves both of us."

"I understand after walking in here yesterday after I finally found out you were here, by the way, that they are in order. Are they not?" He's smirking at me.

"Umm. I guess so. But ..."

Interrupting, "So how long have you been sleeping with him? Did you sleep with him the night of the gala? The morning that I showed up at your apartment and we kissed? Was it in New York?"

"Jesus Christian, What are you talking about? I've never slept with Gideon, if that's what you're implying. What you heard yesterday when you walked in here was our child's heartbeat. What you saw was the doctor examining me to make sure that the accident didn't cause any damage to the baby."

I'm completely at a loss as to why he would think this baby was Gideon's. Then like a fucking light bulb, fuck, Gideon was in here with me. Closing my eyes taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry Christian. You should have been in here yesterday not Gideon."

He's sitting there not saying a word. Staring at me. Not moving. Gaping is a better word. The quiet is starting to feel awkward. "Christian I'd just found out not 10 minutes before the exam was taking place that I was even pregnant..." Nope nothing. I wish I could be in his brain, hear his thoughts because he sure as shit isn't sharing them with me.

"Will you say something!"

"When." He said it so quietly that I almost missed it.

"Just over 6 weeks ago. Georgia."

He closed his eyes. His fists were clasped so tightly they were white. I know he's trying to control his emotions. But right now I need to know what he's thinking. He stands up and starts pacing back and forth running his hair through his gloriously thick hair. Suddenly he stops at the foot of the bed, "I can't be a father Ana. I want you but I can't be a father."

I cross my arms and glare at him. What does he mean he wants me, but that he can't be a father. My eyes narrow at him, and with a little more venom than I expected, "What do you mean?"

"Fuck Ana. I don't know. What I do know is that I can't be a father. Hell we don't know anything about each other. Our relationship was what three fucking weeks before you ran out. You fucking left. Now you want me to be a father!" He's grabbing the foot-board of the bed and I swear he's going to break it.

"I told you I loved you! You told me that was wrong. You said that you couldn't live without the Red Room of Pain or a Submissive Christian! I'm not a fucking submissive so I left to protect my fucking heart. I'm not asking you to be a father, you are just fucking going to be one!"

"Well I don't want to be." He said quietly and turned and left the room.

And I broke down. Crying harder than I've ever cried. Harder than when I left him. He doesn't' want to be a father! Like I want to be a 21 year old mom. But it is what it is. That's what I'm going to be. That's what he's going to be. He just has to accept that but I have no idea what to do if he doesn't. I feel the bed dip and strong arms wrap around me. I turn and just sob in Gideon's arms as he's whispering over and over those nine little words that have become so valuable to me, "Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you."

**A/N: Just wanted you to know that Ana and Christian's conversation about the baby isn't over. He needs time to work through the shock first. I'm going to repeat, Keep the faith! :) **


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**A/N: I want to first thank the Guest reviewer that said, and I quote, "You can only break my heart, hurt my feelings, and make me cry so many times." I'm sorry that I couldn't respond to you personally but I will say this to you now, I know exactly what you meant by this statement. It is a very very true comment. I am sure that at one time or another most people have felt this way and if someone never has then that person is one lucky b***h! :) I don't believe that things said in anger are your true feelings. I think when someone is hurt, scared or angry they say things they don't mean just to inflict the same feelings upon the person they are saying them to.**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

**APOV**

Gideon has been holding me as I've been sobbing in his arms for the past half hour. I can't stop and it hasn't gotten any easier. I am crying just as hard now as when the tears first started. The same way that I was when I left him. I don't understand how he has the power over me to reduce me to feel as if I am nothing without him but that is exactly how I feel at this moment. It doesn't matter that there is this amazing man whispering words of comfort to me over and over again. Stroking my back. Trying to make sure that I feel loved and cared about. None of it matters. What matters is that he walked out that door. He walked out on not only me, if it were just me I think I would understand, but he walked out on our baby. He even said that he wanted me. How the hell could he want me but not want his own child? Our child?

Shit. I really am going to have to do this alone. Single mom at 22. Yeah, real grown up on my part. I've obviously proven that I'm not responsible. Being on the pill isn't 100% effective I should have still made sure that other precautions were taken but I was naïve enough to believe that it would be okay. I mean I fell in love with a man and together we made a baby and even though I knew we couldn't be together I never thought that he would walk out on his own flesh and blood.

Suddenly I hear Kate, "What the hell is going on in here? Why is Ana hysterical?"

I tune out Gideon's response to her. I know he answered her because I can feel the rumble in his chest as he's speaking to her but right now I am not coherent enough to care what reason or excuse he comes up with. I just know that I need to get this out of my system. This sense of loss and deprivation so that I can try to move forward.

* * *

**GPOV**

I have been sitting here holding this wonderful woman in my arms for the last half hour trying to reassure her that she isn't alone that I'll make sure that she will be fine. I didn't realize when I said it to her the first time in New York just how important that it was going to be to me. That simple little promise that I made to her then, to make sure she was okay, has become a deep-seated need in me to make sure that she is.

She's sobbing and there's no sign that the crying is letting up any time soon. I'll stay here as long as she needs me to. I've spoken with my office and Scott, ever efficient, has pushed everything back at least a week. There was a crisis with renovations, permits and the zoning board on one of the properties that I needed to get back for today as the zoning board will be making its final decision today and as much as I hate delegating something this big to anyone else, I have done so to be here for Ana. It was the only thing that couldn't be rescheduled. That property cost me almost $75 million and we were planning on doing close to $50 million in renovations. I needed the zoning board to allow the renovations and issue the permits or the cost is going to double if they don't. Ana's worth the loss though. I don't care how much I end up losing as long as she knows that she'll have me at her side if that's what she wants.

Grey has no idea how fucking stupid he really is. He could have been the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. He had a wonderful woman with a heart of gold and now that woman is carrying his child and he just walked right out the door! Fucking moron. Yep don't feel bad about goading him last night, nope not an ounce of regret.

Maybe his stupidity will be to my benefit. I would love nothing more than to have Ana in my life. I'm still perplexed by that thought. I have never wanted or actively had to pursue a woman before. But I do with Ana. I know she's broken right now. But I will be there to help pick up the pieces that Christian Grey has broken, not once but twice now. Yep his fuck up serves as a benefit for me. I will win her heart and I'll never break her down to what she is right now. A broken shell of the woman I know she is all because he's crushed her. That thought makes me want to tear him to shreds. I can't understand how he could do this to her but he has and I will never allow him to do it again.

Kate comes in asking what's going on with Ana. Why she's in hysterics. Fuck. I wonder why. She was in a car accident, broke her ankle and found out she's pregnant and then the dumbass father of her baby walked out on her. I know Ana's told her about the baby. They had a pretty long discussion yesterday.

"Grey walked out on her Kate." She narrows her eyes at me and I know she's wondering why. "I don't know what was said. Ana told us both that she didn't want any stress, I gave them a chance to talk. When I saw Grey leave I came back in here and found her like this. That was a little more than half an hour ago now. It hasn't let up and she hasn't spoken a word since I came into the room."

Kate's eyes immediately soften and she quietly spits out, "She doesn't cry. The only time I have seen her like this has been because of something to do with him"

Her voice may have been quiet when she said that but you could still feel the venom in her words. I would have thought with her dating Grey's brother that they all would have gotten along pretty well but I don't think that Miss Kavanaugh likes her boyfriend's brother too much. And I'd venture to say that she is close to despising the man.

Sitting in the chair next to the bed she quietly begins, "You're good for her Gideon. I didn't think that was the case that night in New York. But you've proven it over and over since you've been here. I didn't get the impression of you being a 'gentle' man when I interviewed you but you have been with her. I'll tell you this once, okay. She is my best friend, she is like a sister to me and she will need everyone that cares and loves her around her to get her through everything. If you even think about hurting her, I'll have your balls on a silver fucking platter."

I'm taken aback by her statement. But she's gone into protective mode where Ana's concerned and I can understand that. I suddenly feel just a twinge of sympathy for Grey before I think better of it. This woman is going to sharpen her claws on him and I can honestly say that I would pay a hefty sum to watch her do it.

I smile at her, just a small one. "I wouldn't dream of it."

We both sit with Ana for a while longer. Me, stroking her back gently, holding her, comforting her and Kate just watching us both. Her eyes have softened as the time has moved forward and we both notice that Ana's sobs have quieted and she is sleeping. It breaks my heart that she cried herself to sleep over this asshole. She deserves so much better than to have the father of her child walk out on her.

The door opens quietly and both Kate and I see Elliot walking into the room. Directing his question to Kate, "How is she?"

I'm the one that answers, "How do you think she is? You're fucking brother walked the fuck out on her and their child?"

His eyes go huge? What? Like he didn't know. I'm sure Kate told him. But he just looks at his girlfriend, "Kate?"

Kate glares at me and takes a deep breath, "You heard right Elliot. Your bastard of a brother walked out on my best friend, his girlfriend..."

"EX-girlfriend." I interrupt.

She looks at me and continues, "ex-girlfriend and their baby. She found out yesterday after the accident that she is about 6 weeks pregnant."

Elliot is just standing there. I think he's a little shocked at this development. "I'm gonna fucking kill him."

I happily tell him, "Get in line. I think after Kate is finished with him, it'll be my turn."

He turns and looks at me, really looks at me for the first time since walking in the door. We haven't seen each other since I knocked the shit out of him the other day. I understand that he was standing up for his brother but damn man can't he see that his brother doesn't deserve his loyalty about Ana. Maybe for other things but as far as his relationship goes, he sure as shit doesn't.

"Ummm. Gideon," he starts rather sheepishly. I raise my eyebrow at him as he continues, "Christian's head of security, Taylor, is in the hall and needs to speak with you."

"What for? Can't he come in here and talk? I'd rather not leave Ana right now."

"He won't say just asked that if I saw you to ask you to go speak with him."

"Fine." I gently move Ana's sleeping body off of my chest and lay her back on the bed and head out to the corridor where I find a man about my height, around 6'5" or so, very military and completely impassive standing near the door to the room across the hall.

"Taylor?"

"Sir. Mr. Grey wanted me to inform you that your car will be replaced as soon as possible, hospital bill's as well as Miss Steele's will all be paid by him personally sir."

"I can replace my own fucking car and pay mine and Miss Steele's hospital bills myself." I spit out at him. What the fuck is Grey up to? Like I can't replace and pay for shit myself.

The security guard continues on, "Sir, upon an investigation of Miss Grey's accident yesterday we have determined that when her brakes failed it was your car she hit. Mr. Grey would like to take responsibility for replacing your car and pay for your inconvenience."

"Inconvenience? Fuck him and his inconvenience!" I damn near shout. This man wants to take responsibility and pay for my fucking car, a piece of fucking metal and fiberglass but walks out on his own child! Worthless. I'm shaking my head, "Well for his sister's part, I hope she is doing okay. For your boss, tell him I said he can go to fucking hell."

He's looking at me with no change in his demeanor but a flash of something in his eye before that's gone too and I have to give him credit. He's extremely professional, a good quality to have in a good security detail. Turning away from him as I see the doctor and a nurse heading into Ana's room, hoping they are going to be ready to discharge her so that I can take her home where I can take care of her and she'll be a little bit more comfortable.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**A/N: I just want everyone to know that I write this as I go and I know where I want to take it. But there are no outlines and no saved ahead chapters. Well for the most part that has worked however there have been some chapter that are just not my favorites. This is one of them.  
**

**Also, I am not going to please everyone reading this. Team Gideon or Team Christian. There are some that will not like this. But I won't change where I am going with it. Before writing this I had a thought that there would be people that ended up hating this and I'm ok with that. Overall, I like the story so far and am enjoying writing and sharing it with all of you. Even if you choose to dislike it in the end.  
**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

APOV

I am being awoken by Kate as the Dr. Anderson has come in with a nurse with my discharge papers. They have given me the all clear to leave, with a prescription for prenatal vitamins and told that if I need anything for pain to take Tylenol, given a set of crutches that had to be adjusted to fit and then I see Gideon standing quietly standing off in the corner on one side of the room and Elliot standing next to Kate.

Gideon is looking at me with a mixture of pride, longing and something else. There's a softness in his face that I haven't seen before. It's a confusing mixture and I don't know how to respond to it. I smile at him but I know that smile doesn't reach my eyes. Too much has happened over the last 24 hours for me feel happiness. But I will say that I am extremely grateful that he is here and hasn't abandoned me like Christian did.

Just thinking about Christian brings tears back to my already red and puffy eyes. I am willing them not to fall. I have cried enough over that man and I need to stop. No more tears. No more stress. I will cope and deal with this situation but better than I have dealt and coped with horrible situations in the past. This time I can't run to daddy like I did with husband #3. I make the decision that if I have to do this, raise this child by myself, that I will allow my family and friends in, allow them to help if they want but the burden of this is on me and I fully intend to take this head on. I will be the best mommy that I can be to this precious little chicken nugget. I giggle at my random thought of Gideon's remark during the ultrasound. Chicken nugget? Too cute!

We've made it back to my apartment and I tell Gideon that I need to call my office. It's Monday and I should have been at work hours ago. According to the doctor I can not be at work for the rest of the week. I need to let Jack know and I know that he is not going to be pleased. Especially since its so late in the work day now and he's just going to be hearing about this.

"Jack Hyde."

"Uh hi Jack, it's Ana."

"Where are you! You should have been in 3 hours ago!"

Our conversation didn't go any better. Jack wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise as he continued to tell me how unprofessional I have been to fail to call if I am not coming into work and that it shows bad faith being I have been employed by SIP for such a short amount of time. I know that its better to let him just yell and get it out of his system before I interrupt.

Finally he stops and I get to explain that I was just released from the hospital as I was in a car accident. He asked how long I would be out but never once asked how I was. UGH! I really do dislike that man but thankfully I would have a week to get myself in order before I have to deal with him again. I love my job but could do with a different boss. He really does give me the willies but I need this job, especially now with this little nugget on the way.

I can tell Gideon is irritated that the phone call took as long as it did so I explain, "Gideon, I have to take Jack's bullshit if I want to keep my job. I've learned to just let him rant before explaining anything. Especially now, I need my job more than ever before because of nugget."

His eyes soften at the mention of my nugget and he glances at my tummy and when he looks at me again there is so much tenderness in his face that if I didn't know better I would say that he was a man in love. But he can't love me. I'm broken and I don't know if I'll ever be repairable. He walks over and sits down on the couch next to me taking both my hands in one of his and moving a few strands behind my ear, "I don't want you worrying about anything but taking care of yourself and nugget in there. You don't need the stress of an asshole boss. I can make sure you have everything you need."

He said it with so much sincerity that I was flabbergasted. Taking one of my hands and putting it to his cheek, "I know you mean that but you have to understand I have to work. It's just me. Christian walked out and nugget isn't your responsibility. We are friends. I don't want that to change and I have to be able to take care of this baby. I have to do that myself."

Gideon looks at me and I see that same look of longing in his face from earlier. The one that left me confused. But it's when I look in his beautiful blue eyes that I finally make the distinction. Love. He hasn't said it but its there written clearly. It makes my heart flutter and my head scream. I'm broken, Christian has broken a huge part of my heart and I don't know if I will ever be right again. I don't know that I am fixable right now.

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do alone sweet girl. I will always be here for you when you need me. I still want you. It doesn't matter that you're pregnant. It just means that I'll be able to care for another part of you. It's a package. Want the mom, accept and want the child. Simple equation for me. You wanted time before you found out, I'll still give you that even if now more than before I wish you didn't need it."

I know that I am looking at him like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't ask for more than he was offering except that right now I wish it were Christian offering it to me. I know that I should say something but I have no words for what he has just shared. So I do the only thing that I can do and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him. That's when I realize that I'm crying. Silent tears, wishing that I could offer him what he wants now; wishing that I knew that I'd be able to offer it to him at anytime in the future.

"I don't deserve you." Its a simple statement but one that he needs to hear.

"You deserve more than anything I could give you sweet girl." He whispers to into my hair before he kisses my head, wrapping me in his strong muscular arms and just holding me.

We sit there for awhile just listening to each other breathing. No words need to be said. He just strokes my back giving me the comfort that I didn't realize that I needed.

Quietly, "I want to talk to you sweet girl and I know that you're not going to like what I have to say but I want you to seriously consider what I have to say."

"Uh. Ok" I lean back and look him in the eyes and its like looking into the deepest part of the sea. Just an amazing blue that sucks you in. But I can see he nervous.

"Security..." He begins.

"Gideon. No." I interrupt forcefully.

"Ana, listen to me. It's not just you now." He places his hand on my stomach. "Nugget. I want you both safe and I can't make sure you both are when I'm in New York. What if it's just one man, like the day that I was in Portland. You knew he was there but he was intrusive to you. Do you think that you could do that?"

"I'd rather not Gideon." I'd noticed that he actually used my name instead of his endearment for me. So I know that this is really bothering him. "But I guess, if I have a few days to get used to the idea I'll be able to deal with it. As long as I don't feel like you're keeping tabs on me and he'll just be there to watch over me?"

I can do this. I can give this to him. He has given me so much, his friendship and comfort when I've needed it. I can make this concession for him. He doesn't need to be worried about when he has a company to run 3000 miles away.

"Really? God. Thank you!" There's relief in his voice as he answers me.

Then cups my face with his large hands and leans down and kisses me. It starts as a kiss that begins showing the gratitude he feels for me accepting what he wants to do for me but it quickly turns passionate. His tongue slides on my lower lip and I moan and he slips his tongue between my lips to dance with mine. It feels wonderful but I pull back, effectively ending the kiss, but then leaning my forehead to his before leaning back to look into his alluring blue eyes.

"I can't." I reach for my crutches so that I can go make some tea.

"Ana." I hear the surprise in his voice. This is the first time that I have actually pulled back from him. But right now I need to keep a clear head.

"Don't Gideon. I'm going to make some tea. Would you like some?"

I turn to look at him the best I can on the crutches without toppling over. He looks crushed and shakes his head no. I hate that I put that look on his face but I can't lead him on if I don't know what I'm going to be doing either way. Right now my priority is this baby.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that Christian said and didn't say. His body language never gives much away but there was a storm raging in his eyes when I was telling him about the baby. Especially once he realized that he was the father. He has me all over the place. First, I'm not enough and he can't live without the need of a submissive; then he shows up after he thinks that I've moved on to tell me that I'll never understand how much he cares about me and that I am enough for him; finally he tells me that he wants me but not his child. This fucking roller coaster that is Christian Grey is more upsetting than anything else.

Then I think about Gideon. That gorgeous man out sitting in my living room. He's just as physically appealing as Christian. He's as successful as Christian; not that it matters to me. I imagine in business he is just as ruthless as Christian can be. But he wants me. He cares about me and I dare say that he just may love me. He's willing to take care of me AND my baby even though my little nugget isn't his.

What the hell am I going to do? I need to get a handle on this situation. I'm just sitting down at the breakfast bar to drink my tea when the front door opens and I hear Gideon.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Oh this can't be good. Grabbing my crutches and moving as quickly as possible to get to the living room, I see Christian, Elliot standing behind him. Fuck. Really.

Elliot answers as Christian and Gideon are just standing there glowering at each other. "Gideon he needs to speak to Ana. This is between them. We have to let them talk."

"So you fucking bring him here to ambush her! Fuck for some reason I actually thought you gave a damn about her but it's obvious that you only care about the asshole brother that walked out on her and her baby." Gideon thunders at him. I can honestly say that I have never seen him this angry. And I have to say that I'm not at all pleased with this either.

Moving next to Gideon, I place my hand on his arm and look up at him with a small smile. I know that it doesn't reach my eyes and I also know the he understands that I am not happy about this situation either.

I look at the Grey men standing in front of me. Christian, who looks like he could chew and spit nails and Elliot looking a bit taken aback when I address the older brother, "Elliot. You overstepped the other day. I said my peace and left it be. You're Kate's boyfriend and of course you are always welcomed in our home. But you need to learn boundaries. I can't believe that you would be so disrespectful to me again so soon after." I notice Christian's quick questioning glance at his brother but continue, "This is not the time for a confrontation that you seem hell bent on starting between your brother and Gideon. You knew he would be here today; taking care of me since I was just discharged from the hospital. You also knew that Christian walked out on me during a very important conversation. And yet here you are inviting problems into MY home and at MY expense."

Other than a quick glance at Christian during my rant I haven't taken my eyes off of Elliot. I don't want Christian in my home right now. There's too much turmoil inside me to be able to deal with right now. And honestly, I don't think I could handle him walking out on me again.

"Where's Kate, Elliot?" I'm glaring at him now. Kate wouldn't have allowed him to do this. Not today anyway.

Looking at the floor, chastised some by my outburst, "She still with Mia, getting her ready to go home. They've decided that she can be discharged."

I shake my head and close my eyes, "Shouldn't the both of you be there then? Isn't that where you should be, with your family?"

That's when Christian finally speaks, "You are our family too Anastasia."

"WHAT!?" I scream at him. How dare he say something like that when he point-blank told me that he didn't want this baby! "Like hell I am. You made your position perfectly clear earlier today, when you walked out that door!"

He closes his eyes and starts to speak but I interrupt him before he starts, "You know what? I don't care how you've come to that. Right now I have other things that I am dealing with and I would like you both to leave." Effectively dismissing them.

Then turn to Gideon, "My head hurts and I'm tired. I think I am going to take something and go to bed."

Gideon's looks down at me and says, "I had Angus pick up Tylenol earlier. It's on your nightstand in the bedroom." He bends down and kisses my forehead, "I'll be in in few minutes."

I hear Christian's growl at that comment and I know that Gideon said it just to goad him a bit more. I look back at the other two men in the house glare at both of them before I turn and head to my room.

I hear Gideon, "You heard the lady. Time to leave." I can picture him with a smile as he says that. The further away from them I get the less I can make out with what they are saying but I hear all three.

I make it to my bedroom, find the Tylenol right where Gideon said it would be. I take two and then going to the bathroom to get a glass of water to take them before I lay down in bed. My head hurts so much. I don't know if its from the concussion I received in the accident or because of what just happened with Christian showing up or the fact that Elliot would be the one to push this. I can't think and all I want to do is sleep. Suddenly I feel strong arms around me. Gideon. I smile as he pulls me to him.

"Thank you Gideon."

"What for sweet girl?"

"Not beating his ass just now."

I hear a soft chuckle, "Years of self-restraint and loads of control sweetheart. But you know you'll have to talk to him sometime."

I close my eyes and snuggle down into his arms some more, "I know. Just not today."

"No, not today sweet girl but soon," he says quietly and I know I heard his voice break with that last sentence.

He knows what I need to do, he doesn't push for me to do it on his time-table but he does remind me that it needs to be done. And I'm beginning to love that about him. He wants me to see the reality of a situation but doesn't shove it in my face and I respect him because of that.

"Soon." I whisper right before falling asleep.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

**A/N: I do hope that ya'll like this chapter!**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

APOV

Waking up to the sun shining in my face I realize that I have slept the half the morning. It has been 3 days since I was released from the hospital. Gideon has been great since my release from the hospital. He hasn't pushed me but he has been here if I needed to talk, rant or just cry. There's so many emotions that I've been dealing with that I thank my lucky stars that this particular man is in my life.

The bed is empty. I remember Gideon being with me when I fell asleep but he's not here now and the apartment is eerily quiet. Looking over at the alarm clock it is 9:30 am and I suddenly have the urge to pee. I hurriedly try to get to the bathroom as best I can with a rather heavy cast on my foot but I will say the crutches do help with my balance and clumsiness. They slow me down but other than that they do help. I giggle to myself shaking my head. The weird things you think about first thing in the morning after a traumatic experience.

After using the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth I head back into my bedroom to find something to wear. Looking in the closet, I guess jeans are out. I'll never get them over this huge cast. Same for shorts, my cast won't fit through the legs. I settle on a pretty but comfortable blue peacock print maxi dress from with a belt detail from Forever 21 and a black cardigan with flip flops.

Hearing my stomach rumble I decide that I want to go to the bagel shop down the street for a fresh bagel and cream cheese and tea then depending out how long it takes me to get there I may try to go to Elliot Bay Park. I need to think and honestly the last time I felt like this the only place that helped was the park bench overlooking the water.

I grab a wristlet, come on my purse is too damn big to try to maneuver with the crutches. I transfer some cash, my ID and phone into it and leave my bedroom. As I get to the living room I notice Kate asleep on the couch. I wonder why she's there and not in her room? Ah well. Taking my keys from the bowl on the table by the front door and adding them to my wristlet I open the door and head out. Taking the elevator down and out the front door, I see gorgeous silver Bentley SUV parked in front of the building. A man gets out and walks around it and opens the door before I realize that the man is Angus and smile a small smile at him.

"Miss Steele. I can take you where ever you wish." He calmly states.

I realize this is Gideon's way. He knew left alone to my own devices today that I would try to wander and I did tell him that I would accept security. To be honest, if security means Angus then I'm ok with that. I rather like the older man who has been with Gideon for such a long time. But I know that Gideon will need to get back to New York and Angus will be going with him so I just hope that Gideon finds someone that I will like as much.

Still smiling, "Good morning Angus. I just wanted to go down to the marketplace, get a bagel for breakfast."

"Good morning ma'am. I can take you. On those things," he's pointing to my crutches, "it could take you 45 minutes to get there. And your arms will be sore."

I hadn't honestly thought about how my arms would feel. But I imagine he's probably right. "Okay. But after getting breakfast, I want to go over to the park and relax a bit."

He raises an eyebrow at me and just nods as he closes the door and stows my crutches behind the drivers seat, where I can reach them. I wonder where Gideon went this morning. I didn't see a note and my phone hasn't rang this morning at all. I really didn't think that he would just up and leave but... I know, I'll just ask.

"Angus?"

"Yes, Miss Steele." He looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"Do you happen to know where Gideon is this morning?"

He smiles a kindly smile at me, "Yes ma'am. He had a couple of meetings this morning. But left instructions that I am to be with you at all times."

I shake my head but I am smiling. I do like the fact that he is was still thinking about me this morning before he left. I am beginning to love his protective nature, more so because he shares with me how he feels about why he is and discusses with me options that would work and lets me make the final decision. It's more of a partnership and I like that.

"Thank you Angus. Though I have a feeling today could be rather boring for you."

"Ma'am it really is a pleasure. Don't worry about my being bored." There's a sparkle in the older man's eyes and a rather large smile when he says this. It's almost as if he knows something that don't but being Gideon's shadow I don't doubt that at all.

The drive to the bagel shop is short. Honestly its only about a 10 minute walk but he's right it would definitely have taken much longer on the crutches. Angus double parks and says that he will go in and get my breakfast.

"Don't be ridiculous Angus. I can go in. Why don't you find a place to legally park the car and come find me. I want to talk over to Elliot Park. Well hobble really but it's only a block over."

He gave me a speculative glance but nods his head. He does get out and opens my door and hands me my crutches. "I'll be right back Miss Steele. Please say here at the bistro until I am."

I nod, taking my crutches and moving inside as he pulls away.

I ordered my bagel and a hot tea and sat at a table waiting for them when Angus came back in but he just stays by the door. Seemingly not paying attention to anything but I know he's taking everything in. A waiter brings my breakfast over and after I've finished the bagel I decide its time to go over to the park. I wave Angus over. I think that I'm going to need help, pretty sure that I can't maneuver the crutches and carry my tea and I really don't want to leave it.

Angus walks with me over to Elliot Park carrying my tea. Once we get to "my" bench overlooking the water I thank the older man and sit. It's been awhile since I've been here and I forgot just how calming it is. Sipping my tea I start thinking over everything that has happened the past few days.

The Coping Together fundraiser; Christian kissing me and bidding outrageously. Gideon telling me he wanted a relationship; the car accident; finding out I'm pregnant; Christian telling me that he wanted me but not our baby then walking out; Elliot bringing him to my apartment and Christian telling me I'm their family. HA! That one pissed me off to no end.

I have so many conflicting emotions. I love Christian. I am carrying his baby. I would have loved nothing more than to hear that I was considered his family five weeks ago, but now after he walked out that door I don't want to hear it let alone believe it. His brother was standing right there. His brother that said he was going to kill him when he found out Christian left me in that hospital room alone.

I know that I can't trust Christian any longer. With my heart or anything else. He has already said that he doesn't want our little nugget, so how could I believe that he would consider me family. I have already come to the realization that Christian will never be a part of this baby's life and I will have to raise it by myself. Of course I have my amazing friends and my family. This baby will never want for love. He, or she, will have it in spades and for that I am extremely thankful.

I let out a deep breath. I know that I need to speak with Christian again. I need to let him know that he's off the hook. Let him know that he won't ever have to acknowledge his child. He can move on completely without worry. I'll let him go. No strings. I pick up my wristlet and take out my phone and start a text message when I notice my hand is shaking making it hard to compose the message. So I just take a deep breath and decide the dial him instead.

"Grey!" he barks as he answers. Damn he's in a bad mood.

"Christian?" Is that the sound of my voice. I sound like a mouse. So weak.

"Anastasia. What can I do for you?" He sounds so cold. Well time to get this over with.

"We need to talk Christian."

I hear him blow out a breath. I can imagine him running his hand through his hair. His voice changes to more soft as he says, "I know. Are you ready for that?"

Closing my eyes, "No. But its time so I'll have to deal. Can you meet me tomorrow, lunch?"

"I'm in Portland tomorrow. How about this evening? We can talk over dinner."

"Where?"

"The Fairmont. I'll pick you up at 7 pm."

"No Christian. No need. I can be there at 7 pm."

"Ana." Now he sounds exasperated. I just shake my head. He is not going to try to dictate to me.

"Don't. I'll meet you at the Fairmont at 7 pm Christian"

"Fine." Yep he's pissed. Oh well. I've been pissed for a few days now and hurt for a few weeks before that. He'll deal.

"See you then." I say just before I hang up.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder causing me to jump a bit. I look up and see Gideon standing behind me. I smile up at him as he looks down at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You were on the phone." He comes around and sits down next to me, taking my now cold tea and placing a new hot one in my hand.

It's these little things that I enjoy. Of course he spoke with Angus and knew where I was but he didn't have to stop for a new tea for me but he knows that I generally drink more of it when I'm stressed. And he has been all about reducing stress on me the last few days.

"Thanks. Christian." I know that I don't have to say more than that. He knows that this would be coming but I haven't told him that I fully intended to have this conversation before Gideon went back to New York. He's been my rock and I don't know how badly I will need him. How much Christian will end up beating me up, metaphorically speaking of course, about our situation.

He slowly nods his head but he's looking at the ground between his feet. "When are you meeting him?"

Still looking out at the horizon, "Tonight at 7 pm at the Fairmont."

"Well then, come. We have some things to finish up before you go."

"What?"

"You need to pick your new security. I have narrowed the qualified applicants down to three. But being that he will be your shadow, you need to get along with him. I figured that giving you last pick ..."

At his explanation, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him hard. I think I took him a little by surprise. He puts his hand on my waist and gently ends the kiss leaning back to look me in the eye. I can see the big question in his face.

"You didn't have to let me make the final choice Gideon. Thank you."

He smiles that smile that I love, the one dimple crooked smile that actually lights up his entire face. Leans down and kisses my nose. "Your welcome sweet girl. Let's go. They are waiting in a meeting room at my hotel."

He puts his hand out to help me to my feet, takes my tea with a comment about not wanting me to ruin such a pretty dress, hands me my crutches and we head back to the Bentley that Angus now has parked at the entrance to Elliot Park.


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

**A/N: I do hope that ya'll like this chapter!**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

APOV

Once we arrive at Gideon's hotel he ushers me to a small meeting room. Outside the door he stops and tells me that all three men are inside. He wanted them to be aware that the final decision has yet to be made and determined and that none of them were a shoe-in. He wanted them to know their competition. When I ask him why he just proceeds to tell me that it's the best way to keep them on their toes. A way so they know that they can be replaced if the need ever came up to do so. They would know just how competent their competition is, and how replaceable they are. I just shake my head a bit horrified that he would use this knowledge to his advantage. That he would pit them against each other. Bringing about the competitive edge in each of them by putting their competition in each of their faces.

"Gideon. Is that a wise idea?" Looking up at him questioningly.

He just shrugs his shoulders, "Ana, knowledge is a power that I use everyday in business. I have to know what advantages AND disadvantages I may have when I acquire a new company. These men have a multitude of advantages, training and experiences, between them but they also have disadvantages. Granted the fewer disadvantages than other that I spoke to this morning but there are some. Their training is similar its their experiences that, as much as they are helpful, can also be harmful. By putting them in the same room together, they will talk. They will learn things about each other's experiences that could help the one that you choose."

"How?"

"Just go in, meet them. Pick the one you like the best. Then we will review the CCTV footage of the room that was taken while I was gone. We'll see if your instincts are as good as I believe they are." Then he lifts his finger to my chin, tilting it so that he can bend down and give me a quick kiss.

I take a deep breath, "Ok lets get this over and meet these men that could potentially become my second shadow."

He chuckles, eyes sparkling at my comment, as he opens the door for me, "Yes lets. After you."

* * *

Upon entering the room, two of the three men jump to their feet while the third just moves his head in my direction. They are all rather large men, muscle-ly types, which means they all obviously take care of themselves physically. _Well that could be a good thing, I guess. _They are all in dark suits, white crisp shirts and black ties. I imagine it to be some sort of unwritten rule with security that this is their go-to uniform. The two that jumped up from the table in front of us both have dark hair, one with blue eyes and the other with brown but the man in the back of the room that was already standing was blonde with green eyes. All three have closely cropped hair and are now standing at attention. _Yes, I know what that means, Ray, my dad, was military after all_.

Gideon's hand lands on the small of my back as he leads me over to the table setting in the middle of the room and pulls out a chair for me before he sits down himself. He nods to the men and the first two pull out their chairs to sit as the third walks over and sits down.

"Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Miss Steele. She is to make the final decision over the three of you as to which of you will be her close personal security." Gideon informs the men.

Again, the dark-haired men both looked a bit surprised by that statement and the third still has on that impassive look but his eyes show a flicker of mirth.

"Ana, I'd like you to meet Randy Seymour," the blue-eyed man reaches to shake my hand. "Edward Martin," the brown-eyed man follows with a handshake. Neither say hello. Hmmm. "And Luke Sawyer."

Obviously the blond man. He reaches across the table, shakes my hand and follows with, "A pleasure to meet you Ma'am."

"Mine as well Mr. Sawyer but please call me Ana." I address this to Mr. Sawyer only as the others have yet to even speak to me.

I lean over to Gideon, "I'd like to speak to each of the men, get to know them a few minutes before I can decide which one that I won't hate having follow me around everywhere I go."

"Sure sweet girl." He pushes three files over to me, "everything you need to know is in here, other than information on their personalities," he leans over and kisses my temple and stands, "Martin, Sawyer please follow me and we'll leave Miss Steele to interview Seymour as she requested."

After Gideon and the men leave the room, I locate the file that says Seymour, Randall, open it and take a cursory glance then ask Mr. Seymour to tell me about himself. He then starts talking to me like I don't have a brain in my head basically reiterating the information that was in the file. I sit for about ten minutes giving the man enough time to tell me that he was a Navy Seal that was recently honorably discharged and had contacts in the FBI. He was a rather condescending in his speech to me and I was amazed I made it ten minutes before I stand and thank him for his time. I followed him to the door and held it open as he left the room. Next I asked to speak with Mr. Martin.

Mr. Edward Martin is the oldest of the group. But he is a rather dry individual. Again giving nothing away other than what is listed in the file. He is however the only one of the three that has a family. He doesn't tell me that though, that information is gleaned from the information Gideon's team has compiled. When I ask him how he will handle a family with the requirements of Gideon's need for 24/7 protection he basically told me that was his business. I immediately ended that conversation. Again only about 8 minutes total.

I sit for a minute with my head in my hands shaking it back and forth. Gideon said these men were vetted as the best and that they actually passed his interviews this morning but I wonder how that is. There was literally no personality to either of the first two and that doesn't bode well for the third. At this point I am not looking forward to any of them being a "shadow" to me.

I look up and see Luke Sawyer standing across the table again in the at ease stance that so many military men assume when they are awaiting instructions and for some reason I giggle. His eyes quickly dart down to look at me. He quickly composes himself back into the picture of impassivity.

"Mr. Sawyer, please have a seat and please tell me why you should be the one that is hired for this particular adventure."

"Ma'am..." he begins.

"Ana." I correct.

He smiles and starts again, "Ana. To be honest, I have been in personal security for some time. However it's usually covert, which makes it harder to protect someone when they have no idea that I'm there. I'm sure though that you know that by the information in your file," he says as he points to the file in front of me with his name, Sawyer, Lucas, blazoned across it.

"Yes. That I do. Please though, tell me something that isn't in this dossier." I'm looking him straight in the eye as I say this and see a flicker of ... respect? ... I'm not sure what but definitely something.

"There's not a lot that I can tell you about my experience that you wouldn't know from that file already. Every security job I've ever taken has required me to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement. But I can tell you about myself, and even some of that I assume is in that file."

I smile at him when he says this. I would suppose he is correct. There was a lot of information collected on these three men. I nod for him to continue.

"My parents live in California. They're older. I'm their only son and they weren't too happy with my decision to enlist in the military but supported me nonetheless. I have an older sister, married, 3 kids, husband's in real estate same as my parents. Though they've retired. Football and hockey fan though not too big on baseball or basketball."

He stops for a minute. I assume he's thinking of what to say next. But I have one last question for him first.

"Mr. Sawyer, the file says that you were discharged from your last position. I understand that your previous employer may have made you sign an NDA. And trust me I've signed one myself previously so I understand how they work. But can you tell me why? Not the who or anything relating to that but the WHY behind the dismissal."

He looks a little pained and its more than just his eyes giving it away this time. His face actually gives a look of utter disgust and contempt before he composes himself enough to honestly tell me, "I was discharged for failure to report in on my charge."

"What do you mean? Failure to report?" I'm looking at him quizzically.

"I did not inform my employer or the head of security about the every day details of the person he covertly hired me to look after."

"And the reason behind that Mr. Sawyer." I like this man and I want to know that I'll be able to trust him to shadow me.

"I didn't feel he needed to know when or if that person, who is not affiliated with him, went to the bathroom. For lack of better terminology, Ma'am. I did my job and made sure that the person I was hired to protect was safe but that was evidently not everything that my employer demanded of me." And with that statement he closed down on me. He went back to being the man standing near the wall with that stoic look on his face that he was when I first entered the room with Gideon.

Standing, I raise my hand. "Mr. Sawyer..."

"Just Sawyer, Ma'am."

"Ok, Sawyer, remember I'm Ana." I smile at him, "I'll speak to Mr. Cross for a few minutes. But I'd like to tell you that I will ask him to hire you."

"Thank you, Ma...Ana" As he caught himself from saying that awful 'Ma'am' word to me again I smile even bigger.

"No Thank you Sawyer. It really was nice to meet you and I look forward to seeing you soon."

I step out into the hallway and Angus is standing across it near another door. He nods to me and opens the door. I go into the room and find Gideon with the other two men. I ask him to follow me out into the hallway and tell him that I don't need to review the CCTV footage from earlier and that I have made my decision. He smiles at me and tells me that he thinks I made a wise choice and that he'll let the men know. He then tells me that Sawyer will be with me tonight when I meet with Christian. I just roll my eyes, and tell him that I am going to go to the bathroom leaving him to speak with the men.

* * *

"Gideon I don't understand why you want me to take Sawyer with me when I meet Christian," I call out as I am hopping around my closet in my bra and panties looking for something to wear. I'm supposed to be meeting Christian at the Fairmont in 20 minutes and I'm not even dressed! I have discarded several dresses and am now trying to decide between a a green Elle Saab dress and strappy heels or a red lace Reem Acra cocktail dress with black heels. I hold each one up to me and look in the mirror, thanking my lucky stars that I have a decent sized walk-in closet that allows me to change in here.

"Because I won't be with you. I have some work to do and you two need to talk and I want to know that you'll be ok." I hear him respond to my question. Then, "The green."

I quickly look over my shoulder and see Gideon standing there leaning against the door frame of the closet watching me. There's amusement in his face but also a sadness that he can't hide from his eyes. I quickly put the green dress on and walk over to him, "Mind zipping me?" I ask as I turn to him and lift my hair out of the way.

"Not at all." I hear the smile in his voice as he says that but then he leans down and says quietly in my ear, "but I'd rather not have to zip it at all and would love to take you right now." I gasp and he chuckles then kisses my head and leaves me to finish before we have to leave.

The ride to the hotel didn't take long and we both sat in silence. Each contemplating what the night will bring. Once we are at the hotel, Sawyer, who was in the front of the car with Angus gets out and opens my door. Gideon tells me that a car has already been delivered for my use. Sawyer already has the keys and that he will be at his hotel when I'm done. He's squeezes my hand and I can only imagine him thinking of every scenario of tonight in his head. I lean over and gently give him a chaste kiss and promise to call as soon as I am done.

Walking into the hotel's restaurant, I know I am ten minutes late and that alone is going to put Christian in a bad mood but right now his mood swings are the least I have to worry about. I inform the maître d' that I am meeting Mr. Grey and the man actually jumps. Surprise written across his face but the just tells me to follow him and leads me to a private dining room. Opening the door I enter, Sawyer right behind me.

I see Christian immediately. He's facing away from the door but hasn't acknowledged that the door was even opened. As the door closes, he stands saying, "Nice of you to join me Anastasia."

Finally, turning to see me as I walk across the room Christian's eyes land on Sawyer and he yells, "What the fuck are you doing here! Get out!"

"Christian. Stop. He's here with me." I'm taken aback by the vehemence in his voice.

Hatefully he says, "Like Fuck he is. I said get out Sawyer!"

"Wait! What?! Christian, you know Sawyer?"

He winces when I say that and I look up and over to Sawyer who is standing stoically at the door, not moving a muscle. But I see a twitch right under his left eye and his right fist is balled up. Fuck these two know each other! Think Steele. Think. Realization dawns.

SHIT! Christian was Sawyer's previous employer. The one that fired him. So help me, it had better not have been me that he was having followed!


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**A/N: I tried to get this out yesterday but after working 16 hours at two separate jobs, I was just tuckered out and thought it better to write while I was more awake than asleep. :~)**

**Welcome to all my new followers and favs. You guys rock! Again I want to thank ya'll for all the wonderful reviews everyone! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

"I want to know what the hell is going on right now." I demand and in actuality I don't care which man tells me what is going on but I want an answer from one of them. I look from one to the other.

"Christian?" Lets start with him. Give him the opportunity to be truthful to me. But he just looks at me with that damnable CEO impassive stare.

I turn to Sawyer, "Care to explain?" My voice turning cold. Colder than I've ever heard it before. But other than that twitch under his eye I get nothing from him.

"Sawyer please come with me." As I head toward the door to the private dinning room. I remember what Sawyer said about signing NDA's with previous employers but hell, I signed one for Christian too so maybe if he knows this little tidbit he'll tell me what he knows. Well, that's my hope anyway.

Christian grabs my arm, "You're not leaving." His voice cracks just a bit on the last word before he follows with, "We have things to discuss."

"Good Lord Christian. I know. I'm the one that called you remember. I am just taking Sawyer here out for a minute. We'll be right back." I remove his hand from my elbow and shake my head before turning back to the door, "Sawyer."

Sawyer opens the door for me and we go ahead out into the main dining room. "I don't want to speak to you here, let's find a quite spot in the lobby for a few minutes."

He follows me out and we find a corner free of any prying eyes or interested ears. I motion to a chair for him as I sit on another.

"I know that you can't disclose your previous employer without being in violation of the NDA you signed. Is that correct, Sawyer?"

"Yes." He's quietly answers. The twitch is gone but I can now see a hint of irritation in his eyes.

"What if I told you that I had previously signed an NDA for someone? If that someone was the same person as your previous employer, could you tell me then?" I really need for him to confirm that Christian was his boss.

His head shoots up at my question and there is that damn impassive look again. "Ma'am, I won't violate the NDA. And you can't disclose who you signed a NDA for."

I laugh at that. Seriously? What is Christian going to do, sue me? The mother of his child? No I think not. Besides, it's not like Kate and the entire Grey family didn't know that I existed. They all knew I "dated" Christian. "I wouldn't be violating mine by disclosing who I signed it for. He did that when he introduced me to his family."

I spark of confusion flickered across Sawyer's face, so I continued, "You are going to find out because you will be in that room with me and Christian while we discuss things. I will not allow him to dictate that you leave. But it was at Christian's request that I signed an NDA so that I could not speak of our 'relationship'." I spit out that last word. "And I don't want you to tell me what particular 'job' he had for you. That I can pretty much guess. I am just looking for confirmation that he was your previous employer."

Sawyer just closes his eyes and then lowers his head, "Miss Steele, I can't."

As much as it pains me I have to respect that he has the moral character to not answer my questions; but from his body language, which he is not keeping so impassive right now, I have my answer. I place my hand on his, "It's ok Sawyer, I understand. My next question to you is, did Gideon have you sign one as well?"

He looks me in the eye, "Yes Ma'am."

"Ok then, let's go back to Mr. Grey shall we." I say as I stand and head back into the restaurant, back to the private dining room where I will discuss certain issues with one Mr. Grey.

Sawyer again follows me into the private dining room and stands in his military 'at ease' stance near the door. Christian stands from the table and is giving Sawyer a look that could bury just about anyone and I snap, "Don't!"

Christian's eyes fall on me at that and I look up at him, "Sawyer stays or we both leave. Take it or leave it," and cross my arms over my chest. Yes, I know I sound like a petulant child but again he doesn't get to control this entire situation. Not when he lost any rights to me when he walked out that door denying our baby.

"Ana, you don't need him here. You know I would never hurt you." His eyes have softened a bit with that statement.

"But I don't know that do I, Mr. Grey?" I narrow my eyes at him. He knows that I am referring to the incident in the Red Room of Pain that caused me to leave him in the first place. I realize that was done in a consensual fashion but he still hurt me, physically. And then there is the emotional hurt that he inflicted upon me at the hospital. No, I do not know that the Great Christian Grey won't hurt me again. I don't trust him any longer, especially where my heart is concerned.

Before he could answer the door opened and a server comes in with a wine bottle for Christian's approval. He nods after trying a sip and the server moves to fill two glasses. I look over to him and say, "Just Mr. Grey's glass. I'll have a sparkling water with lime please."

I walk over to the table to take a seat and just as my hand reaches for the back of the chair, Christian is right there to pull it out for me. I guess some manners were just ingrained into him. Too bad that there were so much more that he hasn't learned yet. I thank him as I sit, and notice the server is back setting down a try of oysters and my water before leaving again.

"Christian, I'm really not hungry. Can we just talk, get this over with so to speak?"

"No, Ana. You need to eat."

"Fine. I'll eat when you tell me how you know Sawyer." I tell him, giving him my most innocent look. I see a flash of anger cross his features before he calms his façade back in place.

"He was in my employ." Seriously that's all he's going to give me? I don't think so Grey!

"Doing?" I ask batting my lashes.

"None of your business." He snaps at me.

"Really? Well let me know if I got this right okay? And no, Mr. Sawyer didn't tell me a thing so make sure you know and understand that when I say this. I. Am. Not. Stupid. Mr. Grey. Once you let it slip that you knew him, putting two and two together. You hired him as covert personal security and assigned him to me. Am I correct?"

Anger flares is Christian's eyes but he doesn't answer me. "I take it from your lack of response I am not incorrect then. You have no right to hire someone to follow me Christian! I am not yours anymore!"

"You. Are. Mine. Anastasia." He growls at me. Then picks up an oyster, squirting lemon juice on it before raising it to his luscious lips and tilting the shell up, sliding the delicacy into his mouth. My breath catches. I remember what that mouth can do. How it can make me feel. I close my eyes, trying to clear my head of the image of Christian pleasuring me with his mouth.

I let out a deep breath. Opening my eyes and look him straight in those gorgeous grey eyes, "No Christian. I am not. I haven't been yours for weeks and after the other day, I doubt I ever will be again."

My voice quiet but I can tell from the flash in his eyes that he heard my words as if I had shouted them at him. He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. I can tell he's thinking. Though about what, I'm not sure and can only hope that he deems to tell me.

I continue quietly, "You walked out on me, on us, Christian. You walked out on our child." My voice hitched on the last word, I can't hide the hurt in my voice.

He finally opens his eyes and looks at me. "I want you Ana. Always. I'm sorry about what happened. I'm sorry you felt the need to leave me."

I just look at him. Waiting for him to continue. Waiting for him to acknowledge the fact that I'm pregnant. Waiting for him to tell me he wants our child. Gideon was right, now its a package deal. If you want me, you'll have to accept my child. But it shouldn't be this hard for Christian because my child is his. He doesn't say anything more and I sit patiently waiting for more from him. The server has now been in to deliver our main courses to us. Still I'm not hungry put I pick at the food in front of me. Waiting.

After the server comes and clears the dishes, Christian finally speaks but he just asks me if I want dessert. Is he serious right now? No I don't want fucking dessert! I want him to accept our baby!

"No, Christian. I don't. Look I came here to discuss the fact that we are going to be parents. All you've said is that you want me. What about wanting our child?"

He stands and starts pacing again. I fucking hate when he does that. Can't he just still and have a damn conversation with me.

"Hells bells Christian, you're make me dizzy. Stop pacing and sit down so that we can finish this conversation. Please."

He stops and glares at me. Obviously not too pleased that I told him what to do. But I don't plan on being here all night. I need figure out my life and well Christian's part in it.

I look him in the eye then eye the chair expectantly. He sits but I can tell he's all nerves and he's angry. "I can't be a father Anastasia. It would do more harm to your child for me to be around than to be there."

"My child?! This baby is ours Christian not just mine!" I yell at him. I'm sitting there completely dazed. That's how he sees this. He's detaching so that he can rationalize not being involved.

"Biologically maybe. But I don't want a baby Ana. I can't be a father. Not a good one anyway." He sounds robotic in his answer. Wow. I sit back in my chair. I think I am in shock. I know my eyes are huge and my mouth is open. I can't believe he just said that.

I narrow my eyes at him and am deathly quiet when I respond, "biologically, huh? You may not want a baby or to be a father Christian but it's too late for that. There is a baby and you are going to be a father. You say you want me. But I can't even consider taking you back without some sort of reassurance from you that this baby will be loved unconditionally by anyone in its life, including YOU."

Then he says the unthinkable, "I can't love this child Anastasia. I don't have it in me. I don't have a heart. You are the closest that I have come to any type of emotional attachment. But I don't want you to worry. I'll take care of the baby. I won't leave you high and dry. I may not be in the child's life but I will make sure that you are both taken care of."

Wait, what did he just say? WOW. I can't believe he just said that to me. I don't want a fucking handout just because the Great Christian Grey managed to knock me up!

"I don't want or need your fucking money, Mr. Grey. I can take care of myself and this baby just fine." With that I stand and as Sawyer opens the door for me to leave I stop and turn back to Christian, "I can't believe you actually said that to me Christian. Good-bye."

* * *

I walk through the lobby of the hotel and out the front. I know Sawyer is right behind me. He tells me he will be back in a moment and I see him walk out to the parking lot to get the car Gideon had dropped off for us. I'm standing there waiting. I feel so cold. I am doing my best to hold in the tears that are threatening to fall. This is possibly the worse night of my life. Even worse than when I left Christian after that fiasco in the Red Room of Pain.

Sawyer pulled up, got out and opened my door. I slid in onto the plush leather of the twin Bentley SUV that Gideon purchased for our use and closed my eyes and just started bawling. I couldn't formulate any words. Nothing would come out. I know I had promised Gideon that I would call him after this meeting but I can't. I can't think right now let alone talk. Sawyer asks if he should take me to Gideon's and I can only manage to shake my head. Then he asks if I want to go home. At that I just nod. I don't care if this man has known me for less than eight hours or not I can't hold this in. I just want my bed. I want to wrap myself in my comforter and cry.

Sawyer helps me up to my apartment. I assume that he has informed Gideon where I am and if not it doesn't matter. I want to be alone. I need to think. I need to cry, even though I haven't stopped since getting into the car at the hotel. I don't understand why Christian feels like he won't be a good father. Why he thinks that it would be detrimental for him to be around his own child?

If I admit it to myself, I wanted Christian to fight for me, for us. But obviously that is not what he planned. Basically his intentions were to give me options. Him or the baby and if I chose the baby then he would provide financial support only. Well fuck him and his financial support. My child needs a family and love not money. Yes, I realize that its expensive to raise a child but I make a decent salary, I'll figure it out without Grey's fucking money.

Everything is going though my head. All these thoughts and feelings and I can't control my emotions. I'm still crying. I don't know how long I've been home but suddenly I feel strong arms wrap around me pulling me closer to a well muscled chest. Feel a kiss to the back of my head.

Then I hear him, "You go ahead and cry, sweet girl. Everything will be fine sweet girl. I got you."

Hearing those nine words. The ones that have become so important to me in the last few weeks just causes me to cry more. I don't know when I fall asleep but I know that I fell asleep feeling cared for and protected. Like a weight has been lifted even if it's just for a little while.

* * *

**A/N 2: I have a couple of story suggestions. If you haven't read either of these, you probably should. Both are really good!**

**fifty shades of Cluster-FK by Evyn Rae Ward; and**  
**Its Gonna Hurt by Hard Pouncing**


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

**A/N: I said in an earlier Chapter to please have faith that things will work out and they will. But how you take that is on you. My point was that Ana will end up happy. With who, that is still up in the air. For those die-hard CG/Ana fans you will have to have patience and see. However if you can't do that and you don't like my story than please stop reading it. I do not need reviews or PM's that you hate my story or my story line because it is not how you think it should go. Go back in the Author Notes in earlier chapters, I also said that this is my story, I know where I want it to go and it will get there my way. I will not change my story to fit around what others think it should be. If you have an opinion on it that is constructive whether that is good or bad then by all means leave it but to tell me that you hate my story or that only because I made a comment in an Author's note that you will continue to read it just pisses me off. **

**Now with that said and out-of-the-way, here is the next chapter for everyone to enjoy! I actually can say that I don't like this chapter, its more of a filler but I wanted you to have some more insight to Gideon before moving on. **

**I want to say thank you to all the wonderful reviews as well as the constructive ones. You guys are amazing! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

GPOV

I'm glad that Ana let me hire security for her and that she allowed him to attend her meeting with Grey. I don't trust that man as far as I can throw him but for some reason my sweet girl finds he has some redeeming qualities. It tears my heart knowing that she has so many unresolved feelings for him especially now with her pregnancy. I'm worried how their meeting is going. I know she said that she would call me when it was over but its been about two and a half hours and I still haven't heard anything. I've been sitting in my hotel room trying to get some much-needed work completed. I'm going to have to head back to New York this weekend. I can't hold off any longer. As much as I want to take Ana back with me I know that is just wishful thinking.

Since I have gotten back to my hotel I have done nothing but sit and look at my computer and all the emails that have yet to be answered my mind wanders to all the times that I have been with Ana. From the first time in New York to just a little while ago when I dropped her off to meet Grey. I close my eyes and think back to everything that she has told me about her relationship with Grey. In all honesty, it hasn't been much. She has deflected most of my questions and I always get the feeling that she doesn't want to share everything with me. I get that, I do. I can hardly share with her my past relationships. But to her credit she has never lied to me about her feelings for him. I know she loves him. She has told me as much but I have also seen for myself just what a fuck up he has been to her and how broken she is because of him.

I have been lucky enough though that I have gotten to see her at a few high points. She has this amazing smile and an infectious personality. She is a people magnet. People gravitate to her but she has no idea that they do. She is one of the most beautiful women I have had the pleasure to meet in my life. That beauty radiates from within even though she is a physical beauty as well. Though once you get to know her you realize that she has no inkling for how physically beautiful she is. That's one of the things that puts her in danger without her realizing it.

She's also very young and naïve. Just recently graduated from college and from what she has told me not too experienced dating. I guess Grey was her first real boyfriend. I shake my head at that. It really is amazing that he would just throw that away. She's told me that he told her that it was wrong to love him but I've seen him with her. He has just as many unresolved feelings for her as she has for him.

Shaking my head, I realize that I should probably back away from her. Let her figure out what it is she needs from him or from me on her own without any pressure. But that is not who I am. I have changed myself for her in so many ways that she doesn't even realize. And I don't want her to. I am trying to become the man who she needs and wants.

I wonder if she knows that she has this power over me? I have never hired security for any woman I have ever seen. Not even Corrine. Not even after she was attacked. I took care of that asshole so that she wouldn't have to worry again about him coming after her again. That was one of her greatest fears after the assault. I tracked that son of bitch down, hunted him like the animal he was and if it wasn't for Grey I would have killed him. I wanted to. But as it was that fucker is in a vegetative state and likely to be that way for the rest of his life. But even then, before Corrine and I broke up, I didn't hire security for her.

But I'll be damned if anything happens to my Ana. My feelings for her have blossomed in such a short period of time and to such a degree that it leaves me breathless. I want to be the man that deserves her...and her child. I don't care if that means that Grey could potentially be part of our lives but I want them...both of them. I am not usually on the losing end of things. When I want something I usually just do what I need to to take what I deem is mine or could be good for my company. But with Ana, I know that I can't just order her. I can't just take her, as much as I may want to. I can't just leave her with no opinion, choice or options. It is not my way or the highway with her. I have allowed her to be part of the decisions. And for some reason that just feels right. I love when she is near me and I hate when I have to wait to see her or speak to her. It's weird how when real feelings are involved, when you put yourself out there for someone, how much that person soon becomes invaluable to you. How much you need to be in their presence. Ana has done that to me. I need her like I need air. I need her in my life. She has become more than air to me. I don't care what happens, I am determined that she will be a part of my life, even if that puts me in the "friend zone".

I don't want to be just her friend. I want to be her lover, her friend, her everything. But I am worried about this meeting with Grey, it could go either way. He could just take his family back. He could have Ana and the baby. He could keep her here in Seattle if he chooses to be a father but not get back together with her. Or, as I hope even though it will hurt her beyond all else he could do, he could reject them both and I can have her.

After another hour or so I finally get a call from Sawyer. He informs me that he has taken Ana home and that he is still in her apartment. He does not want to leave her in the state she is in. Evidently she has been in tears and crying uncontrollably since entering the car at the hotel. He tells me that she couldn't even speak to tell him where she wanted to go but just shook her head when he offered to bring her to me. _What the fuck? She didn't want to see me? _Now I'm pissed. I don't know what Grey said or did to put her in such a hysterical state but I need to see her. I need to make sure she is okay. I need her to know that she is not alone. She needs to think about the little nugget she is carrying. She doesn't need all this stress. I can carry some of her burden for her. I tell Sawyer that I will be there in ten minutes and that he is not to leave her alone.

I get to her apartment and Sawyer lets me in and tells me that she is in her room and hasn't been out since they got here. I shake his hand, thank him and tell him that his services are over for the night and that he is to be on duty at 8:30 am tomorrow and to check in with Angus about what he will need to do. He acknowledges me and I show him out, closing and locking the front door behind him. Now time to go find that sweet girl and let her know that she is not alone.

Opening her bedroom door, I see her. She is curled in a ball, well as much as possible with that huge cast on her lower leg. Hugging a pillow crying her eyes out. I slip my shoes off, thankful that I changed into jogging pants and a tee-shirt when I got to my hotel suite, and slip in behind her in the bed. Pulling her into my arms and kissing the back of her head, I let her know that it's okay to cry. I'll be there for her.

We stay like that until I feel her cry herself to sleep. All I want to do is find Grey and beat him to a bloody pulp. Does he not realize the effect that he has on her. Does he even care? Fuck I don't think that he does but I do. I vow from this point on that I will not allow him to hurt her again. I will make it my mission to make sure that he never hurts her again.

Eventually, I fall asleep too with the smell of her hair in my nose, that wonderful lilac and vanilla scent that she uses to wash her hair with. She smells like home and admittedly that's a first for me. I haven't felt comfortable anywhere, nowhere has felt like home. Not since I was a very small child. Not since before my father's death. She has given that to me too. And for that I will be forever grateful.

* * *

APOV

I woke very early the next morning still curled up in Gideon's arms. I feel his even breathing, so I know that he's still asleep. I'm not sure what time he got here but I'm honestly glad that he came to me. He really has been there for me when I have needed a shoulder to cry on or when I needed a distraction and I thank my lucky stars that he's being as patient with me as he is. I value our friendship and I don't want it ruined by anyone or anything. Closing my eyes I just listen to the rhythmic beating of his heart and his steady breathing. Taking everything about this man in. Resting my head on his chest, I let the melodic cadence of his breathing lull my brain back to sleep, giving myself a few more hours of peace before I have to analyse what happened last night with Christian.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter for everyone to enjoy! ****I do hope that ya'll like this chapter. **

**Please leave a review! They do make my day and I love seeing them. ****All reviews are seen and appreciated and I respond to as many as I can. If I've missed you, I'm really sorry but know that I appreciate your time in sharing your opinions with me! **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

APOV

It's been eleven days since my dinner with Christian. Eleven long days of hoping that he'll contact me saying that he was wrong, that he wants to be a part of his child's life. But I haven't heard anything from him. Nothing.

The day after that horrific night I awoke in Gideon's protective arms. He showed up and didn't pressure me, just held me. He let me feel every emotion that tore me up but was the quiet strength that I needed to lean on when I couldn't do anything more than cry, whimper, yell, scream and yes, sadly enough, when I was throwing things.

I giggle now thinking back on that episode. He just stood there, leaning against the door frame to the bathroom - out of the line of fire, I guess - with a smirk on his face every time something went flying through the room. Magazines, A book, a dish, a paperweight. That one Gideon actually caught before it went through the window. He just shook his head, set the paperweight down as he walked over and stood in front of me telling me that I had a good arm, with that little devilish smirk on his face, but that I should probably throw things outside the house before I do damage. I looked up at him incredulously and just burst into a fit of laughter remembering that my mom used to say that "balls were not to be thrown in the house, go outside before you break something!" He just quirked an eyebrow at me and my laughter fit just got worse.

I finally started feeling better after that. Which was just in time too, it was now Sunday, and Gideon was leaving that afternoon. He needed to get back to New York, the meetings that he had put off last week because of our car accident, had all been rescheduled and I know that he was worried about a project on a new building he bought some time ago and the zoning issues involved with the renovations he had planned.

He's not been here for the last nine we've spoken most days but the time difference between here and New York makes it difficult sometimes. But every morning like clock work there is a text message at 7:30 am (my time, 10:30 am his time) that reminds me that I need a healthy meal to make it through a long morning. Silly messages like, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" or "Nugget is hungry for pancakes this morning!", and next thing I know the doorbell is buzzing and in comes Sawyer with breakfast of some sort.

There was even one day the message read, "Nugget can't decide on breakfast or lunch. Enjoy!", and in comes Sawyer with chicken and waffles! Really? Who eats fried chicken on top of waffles? I shook my head and Sawyer actually cracked a smile that day.

Now the day that Sawyer showed up with eggs, oh my... yeah morning sickness is horrible! My response to Gideon's morning message was something along the lines of, "Nugget doesn't wish to have eggs. Toast will work fine for us this morning". He called me within two minutes of my sending him that message to fuss at me that just toast was not good enough. I could hear the worry in his voice and waited for him to take a breath when I told him that the smell made me sick so I didn't think the baby wanted them and as I just tossed my cookies, it would either be toast or crackers to settle my stomach. He grudgingly said toast would be better but didn't sound too happy about it. I tried to cheer him a bit but then found out that he was in the middle of a meeting with five others going over ad campaigns for a couple of his hotels that I ended the call almost immediately.

It's bittersweet, this hovering that Gideon is able to do from 3000 miles away. I know he cares about me and he's proving that he meant what he said about my being a package deal with the baby. Want one, want and accept the other. He's doing that and I could kiss him for it. But at the same time, I want it to be Christian. I want Christian to be the caring, devoted father to our child. And he can't seem to do that from ten minutes up the street let alone the 3000 miles that Gideon is doing it from. I gave Christian the opportunity. I told him about the baby. I don't want to trap the man, not that it would work anyway. Christian obviously wants nothing to do with this baby...or me for that matter.

Kate has been great, talking about turning the extra bedroom into a nursery and coming home with magazines about babies and baby decor and toys for appropriate age groups. I just sit and listen to her go on and on but never really comment. I haven't told anyone that I 'm pregnant yet. The only people who know are Kate, Elliot, Christian and Gideon. Just simply because Gideon was in the room, Kate because she was in the room when the doctor said that she wanted to check on the baby before the ultrasound, Christian, well he is the father and Elliot because Gideon let it slip.

I'm not ready for everyone to know just yet. I know that this is a reality. That I'll have to deal with it sooner rather than later. I mean, there is a baby that is going to be here in about seven and a half months. I'll have to tell my parents but that is a daunting thought. Ray is going to be so disappointed with am and will probably to castrate Christian. I can't even imagine what my mother might do or say. Every time I even try to think about having this conversation with her I end up with a migraine.

While Kate and Gideon have been great and Christian has been, well non-existent, Elliot has been snide and disrespectful. The fun-loving, happy-go-lucky guy that Kate always told me about doesn't seem to exist where I am concerned. He gives me dirty looks and makes comments to me about how I'm not doing enough to make Christian feel needed or even wanted where the baby is concerned. Funny thing is that he never does it when Kate is around. It's gotten to the point that when Elliot is here with Kate, I go to my room and just don't come out unless I know that I won't run into him. I don't know what Christian has said to his family about the baby, if he's told them or not, and honestly, if Elliot's digs are any indication of how his family will react to the news of this baby then I don't want them to know. I meant what I said to Christian that night at dinner, I want this baby to be loved unconditionally by _anyone _in its life. I won't have this child around anyone that isn't willing to give that. And that's one of the reasons that I don't comment when Kate goes on and on about the baby being here. I know that sooner than later I am going to have to find my own place. Somewhere that will be Elliot free, with his innuendos and wisecracks about Christian every time we are in a room alone together. I can't, no I won't, have that around my child.

That's another conversation that I don't want to have either; telling Kate that I am going to have to move out. She's so excited about my little nugget, but the longer that I stay here the more likely that Elliot and I will end up going head to head and I don't want to put Kate in the middle of it. I won't make her chose between her best friend and the man that I think she is falling in love with. I've never seen her as happy as she has been with Elliot. No matter how he treats me, according to what she says and how much she has changed since being with him, he's good for her and I want her happy.

I can't wait to talk to Gideon tonight. We usually talk around 8 pm my time, he's usually just gotten ready for bed and I'm usually winding down for the night so we don't get disturbed too much when we talk. His schedule is so busy but I was given some news today that I think he may like. It makes me smile thinking that I might be able to make him happy.

I finally can't wait any longer and dial his number. He finally picks up after the third ring, "Hey there, sweet girl! How's your day been?"

Hearing the deep rich baritone of his voice instantly puts my nerves in check and a smile on my face, "Good. I have some news for you."

"Oh? What's that?"

"When I got to work this morning I found out that my boss has been let go from the company..."

He interrupts, "Ooookayyy. And that's good news for me?" I know he's trying to see where I take this and my smile just gets a little bigger and I giggle.

"No. Don't interrupt," I say before continuing with my little surprise. "So Jack was let go, which by the way I'm thankful for, he really gave me the heebee jeebees. Anyway, there's a convention that he was scheduled to attend. And being his assistant and as they have yet to replace him, I get to attend on behalf of SIP." I know he can hear the excitement in my voice when I finish.

"That's great sweet girl! I'm proud of you." And I know he is, I can hear it in his voice.

"Wait the best news. The convention is in New York! I'll be there early Thursday morning!"

"The convention is here? That's wonderful sweet girl! How long will you be here?" Now I can hear the excitement in his voice.

"Well the convention is Thursday and Friday, but I won't have to come home until Sunday. So, Mr. Cross, do you think that you maybe can spare some time for a friend this weekend?" I ask teasingly.

"Well my dear sweet girl. I think that I can clear some time in my schedule." He teases right back.

I giggle and tell him that I will let him know my flight arrangements. He wants them as soon as possible to make sure that he can get Sawyer on the same flight. He doesn't want me flying alone. I argue that Sawyer could use the time off once he gets me to the airport but Gideon is adamant about him coming with me. I'll have to see what I can do to make sure that Sawyer gets the time off instead. Hopefully this won't cause our first fight but I think I will have to put my foot down. Everyone deserves a day off and unless I say home and don't go out Sawyer doesn't get time off.

He asks how nugget is doing. How I'm feeling. If the morning sickness has gotten any worse. Then he tells me about his day and what's been happening with Cross Industries and tells me a lot about the restoration project on that new building of his that he was worried about. We decide that it's time that I get some rest. Yes, me, even though it's much later in New York than Seattle, he's worried that I am not sleeping enough for nugget.

I giggle at his concern, but say, "Good night Gideon."

"Good night sweet girl."

"I'll see you on Thursday."

"I can't wait. I'll be at the gate waiting."

Smiling, I hang up, close my eyes and drift to sleep knowing that I've been able to make one person special to me happy today.

**A/N 2: I haven't done too much of Christian's POV lately. I got a lot of criticism for putting it in a few chapters back. Too many felt like it didn't help the story flow. I've been struggling with this. I think you all should see CPOV on the baby but I also want to do his character justice without 'dragging' the story down. What do you think? Should I add more of Christian outlook?**


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

**A/N: Here is the next chapter for everyone to enjoy! **

**By popular demand... We have Christian! **

**I want to say thank you to all the wonderful reviews as well as the constructive ones. You guys are amazing! They do make my day and I love seeing them.**

**Please let me know what you think with your reviews! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. All reviews are seen and appreciated! **

**I do hope that ya'll like this chapter as well. Again I do not own the characters.**

* * *

CPOV

The final paperwork is finally completed and SIP is officially mine. The embargo on the information that I purchased SIP and that it will now be a subsidiary of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc. is now lifted and all the employees that did not pass our rigorous background checks have been let go with substantial severance packages. Except one.

Mr. Jack Hyde. Sneaky bastard that he is. It took some digging on Welch's behalf going back almost 20 years, from the day he turned 18 years old. Oh, on paper he was a model employee. One any company would want if they didn't dig too deeply into his history. Accepted and graduated with honors from Yale University with a double major in English and History. Glowing reports from previous employers. But as with SIP none of his assistants at any of his previous jobs have ever been retained by the companies. Matter of fact, all found employment outside of publishing. We only found one, after substantial coaxing, that told us why. She was his first assistant that he had as an editor. Evidently he let that power clog his brain and he sexually harassed her, blackmailed her and then fired her after she refused to have sex with him one night at a conference. She threatened to inform the human resources department and he smacked her around. The next morning her desk had been cleared out and her belongings boxed and waiting on her in reception along with security guards when she came in the next work day. After that she essentially couldn't find employment anywhere in the area so she had to relocate to find work. After this tidbit of information, Welsh did some more digging and found that while at Yale, there were two rape cases that Hyde was suspected in but nothing could prove he had actually committed the crimes. Even though he graduated with honors it was under a cloud of suspicion.

And now Jack Hyde was Anastasia's boss. Leaving him in this position opened the door for him to hurt my Ana. Well, I wasn't about to let that happen. All GEH employees have to authorize background checks (or face non-employment or termination), sign NDA's, non-compete agreements and all employment agreements have a moralities clause. Once Mr. Hyde argued about the background check and wanted the morality clause removed from his employment agreement with GEH saying that he would only sign an identical one for GEH, the was terminated on the spot. I had to smile at that. I took great enjoyment out of telling him that as his new employer, GEH, i.e. ME, did not have to honor SIP employment agreements in place and that all SIP employees were up for reevaluation and renewal and if they could not be retained or reassigned then severance packages would be issued. That dumb bastard thought that he would try to intimidate me of all people. He was escorted off the property immediately by Taylor, who actually had a smirk on his face when he returned.

Tomorrow morning there will be a meeting for all retained employees of SIP to welcome them to the GEH family. This is something that my PR and HR departments insist on every time I purchase a new company. Some shit about it being good for the employees to feel welcomed. I have always found it tedious but I want the transition to go smoothly and even I have to admit that the only time we've had issues incorporating a new company into the fold is when I haven't held this kind of meeting. And then it also means that I'll get to see Ana again.

I haven't seen her since that disastrous dinner where she showed up with fucking Sawyer in tow as security. I wanted to discuss my feelings for her, for the baby but I wasn't about to do that in front of an ex-employee. The NDA he signed for me ended the day he was fired for failing to inform me of Ana's accident. I didn't give a damn that the accident happened early morning, if he'd been at his post when she and Cross left her apartment, I would have known sooner. I may have even been the one that was in the room holding her while she was being examined by the doctor, hearing my child's heartbeat or seeing it on that monitor screen, instead of Cross.

I still don't know how I feel about the fact that she's pregnant. We haven't known each other long and according to her it happened when we were in Georgia. Which means that it was probably the first time we had had sex without a condom. If she didn't do this intentionally then the birth control pill failed. I hope she didn't do it intentionally but in all honesty we don't know enough about each other for me to feel comfortable in saying that she didn't. I can only say that I hope she didn't. She strengthened that hope when she screamed at me about my supporting the baby, making sure that they both had everything they needed. She made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't take anything from me, so I will make sure as her new employer that she has what she needs, financially anyway. I have spoken to Roach, about replacing Hyde with Ana but he wants to wait a bit longer to see if she can handle the work load before making a final decision and as I have no clue what the position actual entails I defer to him on this matter. I give him a deadline of thirty days to make a decision before I do it for him.

Sitting with my head in my hands at my desk at Grey House, I think back to that day in the hospital when I found out she had been hurt. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay and then I found out she was across the hall from Mia's room, I barreled in there and I swear my heart stopped. The doctor between her legs and this thumping sound echoing from the machine beside her bed. She looked so shocked, Cross looked pissed and I felt the world stop.

I'm not stupid. I knew what was going on. I knew immediately she was pregnant. But with Cross there it was like someone stabbed me in the heart that I didn't know that I had until that very moment. Then later in the hallway, Cross all but confirmed that she was pregnant and lead me to believe that the baby was his. I couldn't believe it. I left the hospital shortly after that scene in the hallway. I couldn't take being that close to her and knowing that she was pregnant, thinking it was another man's baby she would be carrying.

After a few hours of aimlessly driving around I found myself outside of Elena's gated home. I knew what I needed. I wanted Ana. But I didn't think that I would ever have a chance to have her back in my life. Not then. I pushed the buzzer and Elena's voice came over the intercom asking who it was. I said hello and not another word was said but the gates to her estate opened. I drove the car up the long drive right to the front door and as I got out of the car, there stood Elena in full on domme fashion in the open front door. I didn't realize that I was interrupting her and Isaac at the time and I couldn't care less. I needed control. Not a girlfriend and Elena could provide that to me. I told her that I wanted to interview for a new submission and she said that it would take her time to find one to my standards but promised to be calling to set the interviews up within a week. But she had a smirk on her face the whole time I was there and as I was leaving she reached up kissed my cheek and said I'd finally come to my senses.

Then I found out the baby was mine and not Cross'. Which just made the entire situation worse. How the fuck am I supposed to be a father. Sure I had Carrick and Grace as role models but by the time they adopted me the damage had already been done. I won't inflict the kind of pain that I had to endure on a child and the best way to make sure that doesn't happen is to never be put in a situation where I'll have to actively participate in raising one.

I want Ana. I always will. She is light and beauty, love and lust, intelligence and understanding, innocence and virtue. She was everything good in my world. Hell in most people's world and I was damn lucky to have her. But I don't have her anymore. Not after walking out on her at the hospital, not after our conversation at dinner eleven fucking days ago.

I was honest with her. I don't want this child but I can hardly tell her to have an abortion. That she will never forgive me for. I want her. I need her. This baby is just an intrusion, one that will take her away from me. Hell, it already has.

I don't know how I'm supposed to tell my family. Grace will be so excited and Carrick will be disappointed. Mia will be over the moon and Elliot, well I don't know what he'll think but being Ana's best friend is his girlfriend I guess he will accept it. I would rather not have them involved to be honest. I have chosen not to be an active parent to this child. I can't be. I don't know how to be. How can I involve my family? But then if they find out and it wasn't from me, shit I hate to imagine that either. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Why did this have to happen! I should have known better than to trust the first round of birth control before going in bare. If I'd have just kept it covered a little longer this wouldn't have happened. We wouldn't be in this place and I might actually have a chance at getting back the woman that I love.

As I am sitting there contemplating everything that has happened in the past two weeks my office door suddenly opens and I look up and see Elena standing there. "What are you doing here Elena?"

"Tsk Tsk Christian. Is that really how you want to greet me?" She's smiling at me but all I feel is disgust.

I should never have gone to see her that night. "I've told you that I changed my mind Elena. I don't want the services of a sub..."

She interrupts me before I can finish, "Look, before you finish," she hands me a file.

Opening the blue file, I see a picture. The girl looks so much like my Ana except she has green eyes. The next paper in the file is an executed NDA and then I find the background check. Hmmm, she's an experienced sub then I see something a bit more intriguing.

Looking back up at Elena, "She's never safeworded?" I ask incredulously.

She looks at me and with a Cheshire grin just says, "I think I finally found you the perfect one Christian. Intrigued?"

"Against my better judgment, yes." I admit.

Her smile just got bigger, "Good because she's here. I'd like to introduce you."

"What do you mean she's here?" Now I'm pissed. She should know better than to bring a stranger into my home.

"Oh do calm down Christian. Really. I knew you would want to meet her immediately and I didn't want her scooped up by another dom. She has other offers on the table. Would you like to meet her or not."

Everything inside me is telling me to send the bitch and her puppy packing but I have to admit how much I miss having that much control over someone. I tried once at Ana's request and I lost everything that night. Maybe it was time to take it back.

I stand from my desk, walk over to the windows and think for a few minutes. I have nothing left. Oh I have my company and my money but I won't ever have Ana again. She chose that little invader growing inside of her to me. Yes, perhaps this is just what I need to be able to make it through. I'll have to see Ana tomorrow at the meeting, yes maybe this is exactly what I need. Turning back around and gesturing to my office door I say to Elena, "Lead the way and please introduce me to Miss Hawthorne."


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

**A/N: Wow! Overwhelming responses already! So that was not the Christian you expected. A much more disturbing picture of him for most of you I think. Sorry, but it was needed for ya'll to understand that the man is in turmoil. He's so used to having control and with Ana he's lost alot of it and because of that he reverted to his old self ... well maybe. ;~) **

**Here is the next chapter for everyone to enjoy! **

**Thank you for your thoughts and reviews. You guys are amazing! I do try to respond to all the reviews and again if I missed you, I'm sorry!**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! :-) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

CPOV

Elena smirks at me and turns on her heel and leads the way out of my office and into the great room of my home. Walking in, I see wonderfully long mahogany hair in gentle waves on the petite woman standing at the windows admiring the Seattle skyline. The vision of her standing there causes me to misstep. Halting my stride I take in the woman from the back. I could be looking at Ana standing there. And if it were just the two of us here now, instead of Elena being in the room, I could almost believe it was.

Elena turns looking at me where I stand. I see her trying to read my expression but I am a master at hiding my thoughts and emotions. Even from her. She shakes her head and calls out to the woman at the window, letting her know we are in the room.

"Miss Hawthorne? Come, I have someone I'd like you to meet."

The woman turns around and seeing me instantly drops her gaze, like any proper submissive, and walks over to us. "Christian, this is Miss Paige Hawthorne."

"It's nice to meet you Miss Hawthorne." I address her directly and in my dom voice. She answers never looking at me always at the floor like any well-trained sub and all I can think when I hear my subconscience screaming at me, _NO! THIS ISN'T RIGHT! SEND HER PACKING! ANA. ANA IS WHO YOU WANT NOT SOME HALF ASSED REPLACEMENT! _

Shaking my head to clear the unwanted thoughts, I ask Elena for a few minutes with Miss Hawthorne alone. She graciously excuses herself to the breakfast bar. Shit, that's just the other side of the room. I know she wants to see my interaction with this woman. I move closer to her and lift her chin with my finger, raising her face to mine.

She is still not looking at me in the eye. No proper sub would until told to and that's when I realize that was one of the things that I love about Anastasia. She didn't just lay down and take whatever I gave her, in the playroom or not. She challenged me, defied me and she frustrated the hell out of me and I love her all the more for it.

"Miss Hawthorne. Please look at me." Her eyes instantly look up and I am completely bowled over by the transparency of the green of her eyes. They are beautiful. So light a shade of green they are almost translucent.

But they are not Ana's sky blue. She is Ana. Fuck. I need to talk to Flynn. I smile a half-smile, more apologetic than anything; lean down to her ear so only she can hear me, "Leave. I am not the dom for you."

I drop my hand from her chin as she steps back. Clearly distraught by my words and before she says anything I hear Taylor clearing his throat.

Turning around to him and clearly seeing anger in his eyes at the scene in front of him, I snap, "What?"

"Sir, a word?" He's back to is usual stoic self but I saw that he is clearly pissed and not pleased with the situation in front of him. Too fucking bad. He's my employee, granted one of my most valued, but still just an employee.

I turn back to Miss Hawthorne and say loudly enough that Elena can hear me to, "It was a pleasure to meet you, but as I said I am not what you are looking for." Then turn to Elena, "Have a good night and please call next time before you show up." Then leave the room with Taylor following close behind.

We enter my office and I turn to him as I lean against my desk, cross my arms and feet and stare at him. "What's going on?"

"We just received the updated list from SIP about the employees that will be attending the convention in New York, sir."

He hands me a thin file. There are copies of airline tickets and hotel bookings as well as the convention receipts and bookings and right there in front of me in black and white is Ana's name. Everything that was prepared for Hyde to go has now been transferred over to her.

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. FUCK! This can't be happening. I am not going to send her to New York. To him. That's not going to fucking happen.

Taking a deep breath I look up at Taylor, "When did this happen?"

"We just received the updated manifest five minutes ago but from my conversation with HR at SIP, they switched everything over Friday afternoon when you fired Hyde and informed Miss Steele today, sir."

"Which means that she already knows and she will know that I am the one that will stop her from going. Fuck! This can't get any worse."

I look at him and see a spark of something more than anger this time before he covers himself when he says, "Probably not, sir but you should prepare for the worst. Miss Steele is not going to like you interfering with her career."

"No, I suppose not." I say as I walk around my desk. Sitting down I pick up the phone and Taylor comprehends that I am dismissing him.

I dial John Flynn. I think it is time for an emergency session, I don't care what he's doing right now I need to see him. I have to figure out what I am going to do about this entire situation, Ana, the baby, considering a fucking sub again! Shit! I probably should have called him sooner.

* * *

APOV

Sawyer is driving me into work and I actually got to speak with Gideon this morning instead of just the text message. He had a break in his morning and decided to call instead of just sending our usual morning text message. Of course the first thing he asks is about nugget and how I'm feeling. Then tells me that Sawyer should be by any minute with breakfast. I giggled at that and reminded him yet again that he doesn't have to send his security for my breakfast. He just laughs at me and says that he can do as he likes and if that means sending security for breakfast, lunch and dinner or even snacks in between then that's what he will do.

I took that opportunity again to broach the subject of giving Sawyer time off while I'm in New York. "Gideon, please. Let me give him the time off. Look he's up early, running ridiculous errands every morning all over the city depending on what you think nugget feels like having for breakfast and then his has to sit in my office lobby all day doing nothing..."

"He's not doing nothing Ana. He's your security detail. You agreed to this remember?" I can hear the aggravation in his voice. Well that and he never calls me Ana unless it's really important to him that I understand something.

"I know I did. But its been nine days since you left and he hasn't had one day off yet. Please. I'm batting my eyelashes at you." I throw that in and put a smile in my pleading voice. I really want this and am not above using whatever means necessary to get my way.

I hear him chuckle, "God Ana. Fine. He can have the time off, but on a couple of conditions. Take it or leave it."

Oh shit, what did I just open myself up to, "Um ok, what?"

"You fly in my plane, you stay here in my apartment or in one of my hotels. Those are your options. I can't let anything happen to you."

Of course I agreed. Sawyer deserves the time off but it still made me mad that he felt the need to control the situation in that way. I told him that we would need to discuss this and he said that would be fine, but as I needed to finish getting ready for work and his next appointment was waiting we had to end the call.

I didn't have all the information yet on the convention trip. I knew there were five of us going; two editors and their assistants and me. I couldn't wait. When I go to my desk and fired up the computer hoping there would be more information I found an email that was generated to the entire company saying that everyone would be needed in the largest conference room at 10:00 am for a meeting with the new owner of the company. Shit!

That means that non other than Christian Grey would be in the building today. I can handle this. Yep, I'll keep telling myself that for as long as it takes to make it through this meeting. Maybe I can hide in the back and I won't have to pay attention.

I have a telephone conference scheduled at 9:30 am with one of the authors that Jack was in the middle of working with to tell him that Jack had been released from the company. And that he could work with me if he liked, as I had worked on his book all along with Jack, or he could choose to transfer to another more established editor. I really wanted the opportunity to continue working with this guy and to be honest, Jack didn't really work on his book at all. He just took all my suggestions from my reviews of the chapters sent in and passed them off as his when he had to deal with the author for any changes that may have been needed but the author doesn't know that and I can't tell him. It took me almost 45 minutes to convince him to stay with me instead of going to a different editor but I got him and that makes me happy.

Realizing I'm late to the "meet and greet" meeting I hurry along. I pass Sawyer on my way, and I ask him what he's doing on my floor instead of being in the lobby. He told me he was there when Christian walked into the building and that until he leaves it, he will be my shadow. This day can't get any worse.

Finally making it to the door of the conference room where everyone is gathered I slip in quietly. Christian is standing in front of the room addressing everyone advising that GEH purchased SIP and that the name of the company will be changing to Grey Publishing when I hear a collective gasp from the crowd. I look over and see Mr. Roach and he looks pissed. I don't think he knew about that. I shake my head and tune out the rest of Christian's speech. I have two other authors that I need to contact this morning and I could be doing that instead of standing here listening to this.

As the meeting winds down I hear Mr. Roach calling my name. He's standing next to Christian. Well hell, this isn't going to be fun. Ok time for the game face. Smiling I walk over to Roach and Christian. God Christian looks amazing. Graphite two button suit, light blue shirt and THAT tie! What the hell?! Why would he wear that tie today of all days.

Reaching out my hand to Mr. Roach, "Good morning, sir." Turning to Christian, who I notice narrowed his eyes just a bit when I addressed Mr. Roach.

"Good Morning, Ana. I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Grey."

"Good Morning, Mr. Grey." I say looking at him.

Roach continues, "Ana. We need to discuss the convention trip."

I narrow my eyes while still looking at Christian. Then turn back to Mr. Roach, "I am looking forward to it immensely Mr. Roach."

"Well Ana. Here's the thing. We feel that we may have jumped the gun just a bit by adding you to the trip so soon. You've done a wonderful job here but we don't think you are necessarily ready for New York just yet."

Now I'm pissed. I know exactly what this is. This is Christian controlling everything. What the hell is wrong with him. He made his choice. He's lived with it for this long not making any attempt to call me, contact me, nothing. He has chosen to cut communication between us. Why is he doing this.

I feel a small pain but I want answers so I press on, "Who is we Mr. Roach? Elizabeth said that under the circumstances that I was well qualified for the trip. Is that not the case any longer? Wouldn't it be better for me to attend and absorb even more knowledge to bring back here to improve SIP, oh excuse me, Grey Publishing now?" I say that last part as I turn my eyes at Christian. I know he can see the blazing anger behind my lashes.

Christian doesn't give Roach a chance to answer before beginning, "Roach, give us a minute. I'd like to discuss this myself with Miss Steele."

"Sir." Is all that little man can say as he leaves the conference room.

Now the only people in the room is Sawyer, Christian and I and I let him have it. "What the fuck Christian. Why are you doing this! Why are you interfering in something that doesn't concern you any longer." Shit another pain. I need to calm down.

"You are not going to New York Anastasia. You are needed here to molly-coddle the authors from jumping ship to another editor or publishing house after Hyde's dismissal."

"What do you think I'll be doing for the next two days. I'm getting my ducks in a row so that I can be in top shape to learn more about this industry and help this company and you go and fucking sabotage my career!"

"I am not sabotaging anything Anastasia. But as your employer I do not see the need to send five employees to the same convention. The others can handle it."

"Fuck you Christian. This is because of Gideon. Admit it! Though why I don't fucking know. You made your choice. You chose to let us go. Why can't you do that. Why do..."

I scream mid-sentance grabbing my stomach. Sawyer comes running over and Christian catches me just as my legs give out. FUCK! That hurts. Tears are instantly running down my face.

"Ma'am what's going on?"

"Ana, Ana. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Christian has moved me to a chair and is kneeling in front of me and Sawyer is standing next to me on his phone. Why the hell is he on the phone. The pain isn't going away. It's getting worse. Fuck! And Christian is right there asking me what's wrong. If I fucking knew I wouldn't be screaming so much! UGH!

"Sawyer. Call Gideon." I say as I lean back and close my eyes. Grimacing, I bite my lip, trying to hold the pain in. I didn't care if Christian was there at that moment. He hasn't been there. He let me know in no uncertain terms he didn't want this baby and Gideon has been my rock since the moment I found out. I need him. I need to talk to him.

"All ready on it Ma'am," he says as he hands me the phone.

I'm greeted by a worried Gideon on the other end of the line, panic clearly in his voice, "Ana, what's wrong?"

Tears flowing, "I don't know Gideon. It hurts." that's all I get out before another burning pain rips threw me and I scream again.

I see Sawyer pick up the phone, he hits the speaker, I'm whimpering, "Gideon. What's happening?"

"I don't know sweet girl. But I'm on my way now. I'll be there as soon as I can. Sawyer, get her to the hospital NOW!"

"Yes, sir." and with that the call ends.

Christian moves like he's going to pick me up. "Don't! Don't fucking touch me." I hiss at him. "If something happens to my baby I'll never forgive you Christian. Do you hear mean. NEVER."

With that Sawyer asks if I can walk. I tell him I'll try to and as I stand everything goes black.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

**A/N: I'm amazed by the amount of responses that I've gotten on the last two chapters! Thank you everyone! I hope I have done justice to what you were looking for in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it! ****It's a short one but I wanted to get this out to you tonight. **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

CPOV

Sawyer caught Ana just as she passed out. I open the door for him to carry her through and rush to the elevator, wishing for it to hurry up, so that we can get her to the hospital quicker. I've called Taylor and told him to pull the SUV around. I don't know how she'll feel about being taken to the hospital in my car but I don't want to have to wait for an ambulance to get here and I have no idea where her car is parked. Better to have one waiting that can get us there just as quickly. When we get in the elevator, I tell Sawyer that Taylor will be at the door waiting for us. He just gives me a curt nod, understanding that getting Ana to the hospital as quickly as possible is the only option we have.

I look over at her in his arms and I just feel this overwhelming emotion grip me. She looks beautiful, as always, but there is clearly pain showing in her face. I wonder how that can be in her conscience state. I know that I love her and I don't want anything to happen with the baby. She wouldn't be the only one that wouldn't be able to forgive me for it, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself either.

Last night talking to Flynn about this entire situation he asked me some very probing questions. How can I want Ana when I can't accept our baby? A part of my own flesh and blood? How can I say that I want nothing more than to give her the world when I am unwilling to give her or our child the stability of having a loving father in its life, a co-parent in hers? He said love doesn't have conditions and that if I honestly loved Ana then loving our child would be logical as the baby is a part of her.

I hated what he had to say. I hated that he kept referring to the baby as 'ours'. He didn't seem to grasp that I can't be a father. My formative years were too tainted. My teenage years and adult life too fucked up to bring a child into the mix. It just seems that this is too good, too miraculous to happen to me. But we're talking about my Ana. My light, my sun, my love. The one person that I don't want to have to do without. And now looking over at her in Sawyer's arms know that she didn't want me to help her, knowing that she didn't want my touch made my chest ache and burn just as if the crack-whore's pimp was using me as his ashtray again.

Finally, we make it to the SUV and Taylor is standing there wide-eyed as he see's Sawyer carrying Ana out, rushing to the SUV putting her in the back. Getting in beside her, leaving me to the front passenger seat. As I tell Taylor to step on it to the hospital, telling him I don't care if he runs every fucking red light between here and there, I overhear Sawyer taking a call.

"Sir, she's passed out...I don't know...we're on the way to the hospital...No, sir...I'll call Kate...Yes, sir."

Must have been Cross. I can't understand what that fucker is trying to pull. Why is he so concerned with Ana and what she's going through. It's not like it's his baby..._But it is mine and I haven't been there for her at all_ _while he has been_. I shake the thought from my head. He is who she wanted when she was scared and hurting. That should have been me. It should have been me she was asking for help from. I have to make this right but I don't know how.

We get to the hospital in just under ten minutes when it's usually a twenty minute ride from SIP. Again, Sawyer has Ana in his arms. I told him that I would take her and he had the audacity to tell me 'no'. We rush into the ER and I'm yelling for a doctor when a nurse comes up to both of us.

Looking at Sawyer, "What's going on here? How can we help?"

Seriously? You see a beautiful young woman passed out in a man's arms and that's what you want to ask?

Sawyer calmly says, "She's pregnant and passed out."

The nurse takes him by the elbow and tells him to follow her and begins rushing down the hall to a room asking all kinds of questions.

"What's her name?"

Sawyer and I both answer, "Anastasia Steele."

"How far along is she?"

Hell, even I don't know that one exactly. She said Georgia...as I am counting back to give her the answer, Sawyer calmly states, "just over 8 weeks."

As we get to a room, the nurse continues and points to the gurney, "Allergies? Lay her here."

"None." Even I didn't know that Ana didn't have any allergies. How the hell could Sawyer know?

She starts taking vital signs. Temp, blood pressure that sort of stuff, when I interrupt, "Are you planning on getting a doctor?"

I know that the look on my face is a menacing one. I want to make sure this nurse knows that she needs to move already. Nothing can happen to Ana. Not to her baby. I can't allow that to happen.

"Of course, sir. However, there is some information that the doctor will need. Now, do either of you know if she had any spotting?"

The nurse is focused on Sawyer as he has answered most of her questions. And I look at Sawyer quirking an eyebrow. I really hope that he doesn't have the answer to this question. He looks at me then back at the nurse, "Um, I wouldn't know that ma'am."

I shrug my shoulders when she turns to look at me. She finishes writing everything down and says that she'll be back with the doctor. Finally! My rational mind knows that we have only been here a few minutes and the nurse did everything she could to hurry along the process but I'm still irritated. It feels like it has been hours! Sawyer doesn't say anything but he hasn't left the room yet either. He's standing in the corner of the room just looking at me. Not saying a word and it's pissing me off.

"Say whatever it is you need to say then you can leave." I tell him.

"You are not my boss any longer, Mr. Grey. I will not leave her alone and I will not leave her with you."

"What the fuck does that mean! I'm not going to hurt her." Who the fuck does this guy think he is!

"I have my orders, Mr. Grey. And if you didn't notice Miss Steele did not want you near her at this time."

"Well she not conscience now to tell me to leave and I'm not going anywhere until I find out that she and the baby are going to be ok." I tell him sternly. I'll be damned if some security guard is going to tell me to leave. This is my woman and my child!

"Then you will have to deal with my presence then." He says with a smirk. A fucking smirk. We'll see about that asshole.

Just then the doctor comes into the room. Fuck! I didn't think my mother would be attending the ER today.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**A/N: I want to say thank you to all my wonderful reviewers and I have to say that I didn't realize that so many of you need a cocktail every time they see an update but I will say that I am glad ya'll are enjoying it. You have no idea how big a smile it puts on my face knowing that you continue to want more! Thank you from my humble heart! :) **

**Here is another, I hope you enjoy it!**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**CPOV**

My mother has just walked into the room, a look of consternation on her face. She's see the chart, hell it's in her hand. She knows that it's Ana laying on the gurney. She now also knows that Ana's pregnant. Shit!

She looks up just as the door closes and sees me, "Christian." She then turns her eyes to Sawyer. Shaking her head she doesn't address him. I smirk at him and his eyes just narrow slightly at me.

That's all she says as she turns to the beautiful woman on the gurney and starts taking her blood pressure again. Just as she's pumping up the cuff, we hear a moan. All three sets of eyes in the room turn to the exquisite face of the woman on the bed.

Just as Ana's eyes open, my mother says, "Shhh darling. Every thing's going to be just fine. I need to take your blood pressure again. Then we'll talk about what's going on with you ok."

In a miniscule voice and tears welling in her eyes, Ana just said, "there was some pain."

"Ok darling. I need to check to see if your blood pressure is leveling out. It was still pretty high when the nurse checked it when you got here."

As my mom is taking her blood pressure Ana is looking around the room. First to her left and behind my mom, she spots Sawyer. She gives him a faint smile which he acknowledges with a quick nod before he turns his head to me. Her eyes follow his eye line. Her eyes narrow. And I can see her features change before my eyes. Her face goes from scared but dealing to anger and annoyance in less time than it would take to flip a light switch.

Just as my mom is removing the blood pressure cuff, Ana hisses, "What are you doing here?"

Quickly masking my emotions, because I'm surprised by her abruptness, "I want to make sure you're okay."

"Why do you care, Christian? You haven't cared since you found out. I don't want you here," she states fiercely.

"Ana..." I start as my mother interrupts.

"Ana. Christian and his security brought you in. He may have saved your baby's life." She looks at both of us confused about what's going on.

Ana just scoffs at her comment, "Grace, Nugget is ours, not mine. And he's the reason I'm in here to begin with. As for Sawyer, he isn't Christian's security, he's mine." She turns back to Sawyer, "Sawyer, please show Mr. Grey out." Then closes her eyes.

"What?! Wait. What do you mean, ours?" Grace turns to me, "Christian, this is your baby?"

Sawyer is now standing beside me. But I don't even acknowledge him, I'm looking right into the eyes of one very upset mom. I can't vocalize an answer but nod my head, admitting that yes, the baby is mine. I swear I don't think I have ever seen my mother so shocked and furious at the same time. She doesn't say a word, just turns back to Ana and starts asking her questions.

As she does, Sawyer tries to get me to leave, "Mr. Grey, I'll have to escort you from the room. You've heard Miss Steele."

"I'm not going anywhere Sawyer," I spit back at him, "until after I know she's okay."

"Oh for the love of God Christian, just get out already!" Ana's eyes are blazing. Staring straight at me.

Then my mother jumps in, "Christian, the baby can't handle her blood pressure spiking. If you care at all about her or your child she's carrying you will leave this room now or I will throw you out myself."

Ok, I get the picture. I'm going to have to answer to my mother sooner than later, I can see that coming. She is not pleased with me. Turning to leave, a smirking Sawyer holding the door open, my mom says, "And Christian, don't go too far. I want to speak with you when I'm done."

Like the scolded child that I feel like right now, I lower my head, "Yes, mom."

* * *

**APOV**

Finally both the men are out of the room and I'm just let with Grace. I've only met her a few times but each time I've found her to be an exceptionally wonderful woman with such an amazing giving heart. I hope that she'll hear me out before getting too upset with me.

"Ok, so we need to finish checking you out." Rather dryly, very professionally.

She asks me questions about the pain and whether I've had any spotting. What was going on when the pain became unbearable; about my diet and daily routine. I answer all the questions but I can tell that she didn't like some of them. As we finish up with all the questions she pulls over a fetal monitor and says that she would like to check on the baby. She helps me sit up and lift my dress up and covers my legs and lower abdomen with the sheet and then puts the gel on my stomach. Turning the machine on and then pressing the ultrasound wand over my stomach I suddenly see a smile spread across her face. I turn to the machine and she points out the amniotic sac and the baby within it. She's beaming with, is it, pride, by the time she says that everything looks just fine but that she is going to order me to stay for observation because she is still worried about my blood pressure. I agree without any difficulty. I want what is in the best interest of my little nugget and will do whatever I have to do.

"Ana, How long have you known? Did you know when you were at the fundraiser with Mr. Cross?" There's a worried look on her face.

"No, Grace. I found out 2 weeks ago. The day of Mia's accident. She actually hit Gideon's car. He was going back to New York that morning and I was riding with him to the airport when the accident happened."

"Oh. How long has Christian known?" Her eyes pleading with me hoping that I'll give her the answer she's looking for. But I can only give her the truth.

"He found out that day. Then the next day I sat him down before I was released from the hospital and told him. He walked out on me. I met with him a few days later for dinner and to discuss the baby. " My eyes are tearing up at the memory of that horrendous evening. That was the turning point for me. The day that I decided that I didn't give a damn what Christian fucking Grey wanted, I was going to do what I needed to do and to hell with him.

"How did that go," she asks me. She looks so hurt and upset with the little that I've told her to this point. I don't want to add to her pain but I won't lie to her either.

"He informed me that he will support the baby but he isn't going to be a father. I told him to ... well let's just say I declined his offer of support and we haven't spoken since. Look Grace. This baby is Christian's. He doesn't want to be a father and I'm dealing with that at this point. I'm beginning to accept that's how he feels. He's entitled to his feelings, and I'm not going to force him. But if you and Carrick want to know your grandchild, know," I grab her hand and squeeze gently so she knows I mean what I'm saying, "that you will always be welcome to have a relationship with him," I giggle and continue, "or her."

"Oh you dear girl, thank you. I can't imagine Carrick or I ever walking away. We would love that."

"Good, so would I. Now, how long are you planning on keeping me here?" I smiling at her.

Smiling herself, "We'll move you to a room shortly, get you out of the ER but then it will all be determined by you Ana. If your blood pressure stays stable you can be released sometime late tomorrow afternoon. If not, then we'll have to see."

Letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and closing my eyes for a second, "okay. Thank you Grace."

She's opening the door to leave, "Your welcome darling girl. I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

Sawyer sticks his head in the door, "Ma'am, I've called Miss Kavanaugh. She's on her way over with the other Mr. Grey."

Hell. I can't deal with Elliot too, "Sawyer, I only want to see Kate. No one else ok?"

"Yes Ma'am. I'll be right out the door if you need me."

"Thanks." And he closes the door giving me some privacy before Kate gets here.

* * *

**CPOV**

Sawyer follows me out of the room closing the door. He takes up post right next to it. I'm just watching him as he is standing there. He takes out his phone and finds a number and dials, "Miss Kavanaugh, this is Sawyer...No...Well..."

I can see him get frustrated and I just smirk at him. Better him to deal with Katherine Kavanaugh than me. That woman irritates the hell out of me and it seems that she is doing the same to Ana's security.

Clearly annoyed he raises his voice and rolls his eyes, "If you would be quiet and let me speak you would know what is going on!... Thank you... Miss Steele had some pain this morning and passed out... We're in the ER now... She's being seen by the doctor... Yes, he knows..."

Sawyer's eyes cut to me. Hmmm so Kate wanted to make sure I knew. Who would have thought she would be that considerate.

"Yes, he is aware as well... I think she would like that... yes, I'll tell her as soon as I can...See you shortly." He ends his call and places his phone back in his pocket.

I'm need to know what's going on in that room. Though I don't know how to do that with Ana nearly ballistic every time she sees me. I didn't think that it would stress her to the point of causing pains bad enough to cause her to faint simply by making sure that she would be staying here in Seattle. I knew she wasn't going to like me interfering, as did Taylor. I just didn't listen when he tried to warn me.

Pacing the hallway, back and forth, I'm wondering what is taking my mother so long examining Ana. What could they be discussing? Have there been other symptoms that only Ana would know about? Is she and the baby going to be ok?

I caused this. I caused her this pain. The possibility of losing the baby. This is why I can't be a father. I can't protect this child even from myself how am I going to raise it? Suddenly, I hear my mom, "Christian."

She's standing next to me. I know that my expression is one of apprehension. I don't know what Ana has told her. She looks troubled and worried.

"Mom? Is she okay? The baby?"

There's a flare of anger in her eyes before she answers me, "She'll be fine if we can get her blood pressure under control and stabilized. The baby too for that matter. So you've known you're going to be a father for the last few weeks?"

"Yes." I tell her instantly contrite.

"I understand that most new parents don't share the news this early on Christian but from what I understand you've cut all communication with Ana as soon as you found out?"

"Mom. I'd rather not have this conversation in the middle of the hallway of the ER. Can we go to your office we can discuss this there?"

"No, Christian we can't. I'm on duty. I'm one of only three doctors in the ER today. I have to stay here and as you well know my office is on the 5th floor of the west wing. If you don't want to have this conversation now, we will have it tonight, at dinner. Please make sure you are at the house at 6 o'clock." With that she turns to leave.

"Wait. We can talk in the waiting room?"

"Fine. But you will still need to explain this to your father."

Running my hands through my hair, "fine, then I'll meet you both at the house at six."

She nods and turns to grab another chart from the nurses' station and heads in the opposite direction.

Fuck!

Just then I hear a shrill, "I'm looking for Anastasia Steele. I was told she was brought in a while ago."

Great. Katherine has arrived. Yet another person that doesn't like me. Fuck! Why am I still here? Mom said that she will be fine soon. They'll stabilize her, she's in good hands. I should go. I don't need to cause her any more anxiety. But I want to see her again. I know what my head is telling me, but my heart is telling me to stay put.

Then I hear a loud, "Christian! Where's Ana? What are you doing here?"

Turning I see both Katherine and Elliot. Kate is all but running towards me and Elliot is trying to keep up without breaking into a jog himself.

"Katherine."

"Don't you Katherine me, where is she, Grey?"

In my pacing I've made it a bit down the hall from her room so I decide to show Kate where the room is. Maybe I'll get another glimpse of her. "This way, I'll take you."

Just as we reach the door. Sawyer is now standing directly in front of it. "Miss Kavanaugh. Right this way." He opens the door for her but once she is inside closes it firmly and stands back in place. I wonder, he wouldn't even allow Elliot in. I narrow my eyes at him

"Sawyer, my brother would like to see Miss Steele. Make sure she is okay as well. Allow him in the room."

"No sir. I've told you before, I have my orders. Neither of you will be allowed to see Miss Steele." He says crossing his arms over his chest.

I turn to look at Elliot. He doesn't seem surprised by this. I however am a bit shocked about this turn in events. I thought that Elliot and Ana liked each other. Most people like Elliot, life of the party, happy go-lucky big teddy bear that he is and yet Elliot isn't allowed in to see her either.

"What's going on, Elliot? Why aren't you allowed in there?"

"It's nothing Christian. Kate will let us know what's going on." He says rather nonchalantly.

"Elliot.."

"Leave it alone Christian. It's nothing." He says turning away from me.

I grab his arm and turn him back around, "What the hell is going on Elliot? I want an answer. Shit, I know why I'm not allowed in there, Ana all but threw me out but why can't you go in there?"

"Oh that's fucking rich! She threw you out. It's your fucking baby and yet she won't let you have anything to do with it!" He throws his hands in the air.

"She's protecting herself ... and the baby, Elliot. Shit even I get that. Hurts like a bitch but I get it." I tell him. Its true. It does hurt that she won't let me near her but after how I've acted I can understand why she is doing it.

"Bullshit Christian. She's being a bitch..."

Just as he said it and before he could finish his sentence, I hit him square in the jaw. As I stand over my older brother both fists clenched, he's on the ground I'm yelling at him, "What the fuck did you just call her!?"


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47**

**A/N: I don't think that I'll get another out before Saturday evening but I wanted ya'll to have a little something more. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

APOV

Kate comes rushing in looking drop dead gorgeous in an oversized cashmere sweater and leggings. She rushing and slides just a bit, probably due to the very nice snakeskin platform Louboutin's she has on, catching herself from falling at the end of the bed and dropping her Burberry Studded bag on the floor she's at my side looking harried.

"Ana! Are you ok? What happened? Have you seen a doctor yet? What have they said?"

She's clutching my hand and I just chuckle and shake my head. "Breathe, Kate. Yes I've seen a doctor. Actually, Dr. Grey left a few minutes ago."

Her eyes got big. She knew what that meant. "Ooooh. Ok, you're going to have to tell me everything. Obviously she knows now about the baby. Are you okay with that?"

Letting out a deep breath, "She handled it well. Honestly, Kate I didn't know how she would take it but she said that she and Carrick would want to be part of the baby's life." I tell her with a slight smile.

Kate takes the chair next to me and I continue, "my blood pressure spiked and I passed out at the office. Sawyer and Christian rushed me here."

"Wait? Christian didn't show up because his mom called? He was there when it happened? What the hell Steele?" She looks as confused as she sounds which is not something that she is used to. Usually she can figure things out pretty quickly but evidently I am not telling her everything she needs to know. Then she starts demanding answers, "What happened? Start from the beginning."

"Fine," rolling my eyes. I don't really want to think about it all right now. I'm afraid that it'll just cause me more unwanted and unnecessary stress but Kate, not knowing will definitely cause more stress.

"Christian purchased SIP." I hear her gasp but continue, "the sale has been finalized and a meeting was called for a 'meet and greet'. I ran late but got there shortly before the end. After the meeting Mr. Roach called me over to introduce me to Christian where I was then informed that my trip to New York for the convention later in the week has been cancelled."

Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped open but she composed herself long enough before asking, "Was this Christian or was there another reason? Did he try to sabotage you?"

I looked at her deadpan, "Oh this was most definitely Christian. He says that he wasn't but I know that the real reason is that he didn't want me in New York. Why I don't know. He doesn't want this baby Kate. He's made himself quite clear about that. Hell I haven't heard a peep from him since that godawful dinner but to interfere in my career? I don't get it. The only thing that I can surmise is that he doesn't want me near Gideon and I told him as much."

Snickering Kate just giggles, "way to go Steele. Hey though next time you want to go head to head with him, let me know. I'll be happy to do it for you so that you don't end up in here again! So what's going to happen now?"

"I'm being kept over. They want to watch my blood pressure make sure that it stays where it is supposed to." I look down for a minute then look back at my best friend sitting next to me. Willing the tears that are threatening to fall not to, "Kate, I could have lost my little nugget. I got mad and I could have lost him."

She immediately jumps up and sits next to me on the bed and pulls me into a hug and starts rubbing my back. "Oh honey. Shhhh. Everything's okay now. We'll make sure that everything stays calm so that you and that precious niece or nephew of mine is 100% healthy."

When I'm finally able to stop with the waterworks, damn hormones, Kate asks, "So, is Gideon on his way?"

I smile a real genuine big smile. Reaching my eyes, "Yes. Not sure how long before he'll get here but I do believe that Mr. Cross will be here before dinner time tonight."

She just looks at me, "Good. Now I imagine Elliot is trying to figure out what is going on. I left him in the hall with Mr. Moneybags. I would have thought he would have come in with me, but I guess he got caught up with..."

She stops suddenly. Looking at me with a face that says 'what's going on?' "Ana? Tell me."

Yep she can read me like a freaking book. I've never been able to hide anything from her for long.

"I doubt he made to come in but if he did, I told Sawyer to keep him out." I'm looking at my hands when I confess this to her.

"What? Why?" Again Kate, confused.

"Kate, Elliot has been rather nasty since the night of the dinner with Christian. That's why every time you guys are at the apartment I try to stay in my room. I just didn't want to have to deal with him on top of everything else, too."

"What do you mean nasty? Come on Steele."

"Look I don't want to cause issues with your relationship. I don't want you in the middle having to choose. I don't want you to have to do that."

"I would always chose you Ana. You're the sister that I never got to have." She looks so hurt. How do I explain to her that I'll always be here for her, I just don't have to be in the same room as Elliot.

"And you love him too Kate. I've never seen you happier in the four years that we've known each other. I won't be the cause of you not having that. I just...well...I just can't be around the Grey brothers. I'll never get out of this damn place." Arcing my hands above me emphasizing the room.

"If you say so. But I will get to the bottom of what's going on. I can't have my two closest people hating on each other."

"It'll be fine Kate. Now go, go find Elliot. I'm just going to lay here and rest a bit. Kinda tired."

"Ok. I'll be back later though okay?"

"Yeah."

I smile as she picks up her purse from the floor and heads out the door. Sinking back into the pillows and closing my eyes I didn't realize just how draining this day has been.

* * *

CPOV

Fuck! Running my hands through my hair, I can't believe my brother just called the woman who I love a bitch. What the fuck is wrong with him. I have never known him to attack someone the way that he seems to want to attack Ana.

I've never purposefully hit Elliot. Sure we wrestled, played jokes on each other since childhood but never openly fought. Neither of us have ever intended to actually harm the other but right now all I see is red. He's talking about Ana like she's some sort of gold digger that is trying to get money out of me. I am taking in a deep breath letting him continue his rant but I'm getting angrier and angrier with every word that comes out of his mouth. I honestly don't know where this is coming from.

"Fuck Elliot. Listen to yourself! You sound like you believe she did this on purpose. Let me be the first to tell you she didn't. Neither of us intended for the situation to become what it is." I hiss at him menacingly. I want to make sure that he hears me.

"You can't honestly believe that she didn't do this on purpose Christian! And can you explain why you haven't been around? Why is she keeping you away? I don't believe for one fucking minute that you would walk away if you truly believed that she was carrying your child."

That's it. Now he just called the love of my life a whore! Without even realizing what I am doing I deck him again, this time in the eye. Yep, that one is going to bruise. Oh well, black eye ... he deserves it.

"Just for the record big brother. I do believe that she is carrying my baby. I am the only man that she has ever slept with. I don't want the baby. I walked out on her. She didn't send me away. She doesn't want a fucking thing from me, including my money. I love her and she's choosing her fucking little invader and not me! So go fuck yourself before you start thinking you know everything and treat people who you don't know like fucking shit!"

I can't stand to look at him right now so I turn to walk away from him and see four sets of very irate eyes looking at the both Elliot and myself. Fuck!

Kate walks up to me first and before I know what happens she has raised her hand and slapped me. Hard. Hard enough to turn my head. She looks beyond pissed but then just walks over to Elliot and says, "we need to talk." But the look she's giving him isn't any softer than the look she's giving me.

My mother, with a very angry expression just shakes her head at the both of us. "I expect YOU BOTH at the house at 6 o'clock. Elliot that means you too!" She snaps at as she moves to enter Ana's room.

Sawyer opens the door for her but never takes his eyes from me. There's more than anger in his expression. But he can just go to hell. But I have to say that seeing Taylor standing beside him with an openly hostile look on his face staring at me is disconcerting. Taylor is very stoic. I have very rarely, if ever, seen his true emotions in his face so to do so now means something.

Fuck! I turn from all of them and stalk out of the ER. Let them deal with everything. Pacing back and forth outside the hospital, I make a call. I need to talk again. I need to work through these issues that I am having. I shouldn't resent this baby but I can't help that I do. Dialing Flynn I hope that he can fit me in again today. Before I have to be at my parents.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter 48**

**A/N: Sorry this is so late. Work and a hormonal pre-teen have kept me so busy that I haven't had time to write. I hope you enjoy it!**

**There's a little bit of Christian, Kate and Ana. I'm working on dinner with Grace and Carrick. Hopefully that will be up tonight as a bonus for your patience in waiting for this new chapter! :) **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**CPOV**

Talking to Flynn hasn't really helped the way that I'm feeling. He seems to think that I should feel more about this baby. That resentment shouldn't be the overpowering emotion that I feel for it. He knows how I feel for Anastasia. He knows that I love her. He's seen the changes that I have tried to make in my life to accommodate her since she left. He's seen me trying to win her back and the tailspin of seeing her with Cross. My love for her is not a question in his mind, therefore he is having a hard time accepting that I don't want this child.

He actually asked me if the reason that I'm feeling like I am is more due to the fact that this is a situation that I didn't control and therefore couldn't control now. I could have controlled myself with her longer than going bare with her so soon after she started the pill that it wasn't 100% safe to do so. But I didn't and now she's pregnant and I can't control how this is going to play out. Of course it fucking bothers me that I can't control this. I don't want children. I have never even thought that I would be in a situation that would allow for this to happen and yet here I am looking at it and I fucking hate that I am. I love that woman with everything that I have and she doesn't want me; she wants the baby but not me. How the fuck do I handle that?

I am concerned that Elliot thinks that she is just some gold digger that sleeps around. Of course I know better. I know that she never slept with anyone before me and I highly doubt that she has slept with anyone since me. Though thoughts of Cross do flit though my head. It's possible that she could have but I seriously doubt it. She hasn't known Cross long enough that this child could be his; she's too far along for that to be the case. Anastasia's just not the type to sleep around and I'm fucking insulted my brother for thinking that she would. Hell he dates her best friend, who I'm sure has told him the same thing. I have to say that I'm actually hoping Miss Kavanagh actually lays into him hard for what she obviously overheard at the hospital.

I am dreading this evening. I have been summoned, well ordered is more like it, to be at my parent's house for dinner and I'm sure there will be some sort of discussion about this entire situation with Ana. I know that I have disappointed my mother again. I hate that I have continually disappointed her throughout my life with her and Carrick. Grace, my saving angel. The one person that I never wanted to disappoint in my life and I have continued to let her down for as long as I can remember. Not talking for years until Mia came into our lives, fighting and getting kicked out of school after school as a teenager, dropping out of Harvard, not being available as much as she would like me to be to her or the rest of the family. It's just my way of protecting them from my fucked up shit but now I've dropped the bag right on her front door by knocking up my "first ever girlfriend"! Fuck, I am expecting the worse tonight but I will let her say what she needs to but in the end I will still make my own decision about this baby. My family will not steam role me into accepting that I can be a father when I know that it's not possible for me to do so.

* * *

**KPOV**

I can't believe what I heard walking out of Ana's hospital room. I had no idea until she told me not five minutes beforehand that Elliot was giving her a hard time about the baby and then I walk out into that shit show in the hallway!

My first reaction when I heard Christian's venomous words to his older brother about how he was the first and only man Ana had ever slept with and how he walked out on her after impregnating her was to slap the shit out of him. My hand still fucking stings. I told Elliot that we needed to talk. I yanked him out of the ER all the way to his car. The only thing I said to him since telling him we needed to talk was that I wanted him to take me home. Walking into mine and Ana's apartment, I went straight to the wine fridge and pulled out a bottle, opened it and drank nearly the whole glass before I even looked at my boyfriend.

He had a red mark on his jaw and his left eye was swollen almost closed and black. I'm actually glad that Christian laid into him the way that he did. Elliot had no right to say what I heard him say about Ana. He knows how close she and I are and admittedly I have probably divulged information to him that Ana would be rather embarrassed about if she knew I had said anything to him. He knows she was a virgin before Christian and he knows that I was concerned about her after we got back from Barbados. How she was handling and dealing with the break up with his little brother. Why he would ever think that she was some sort of gold digging whore I don't know but I fully intended to get to the bottom of it.

Looking sheepish he told me what he said. He admitted being disrespectful to Ana. Little jibes here and there. Making her completely uncomfortable even in her own home. He didn't believe that his great brother would walk out on his own child and that Ana was making it up and the only reason that IF he did do that was because his brother didn't believe her about the paternity of the baby. I was fucking amazed that the man who I love would believe so little about someone so close to me all because of his fucking asshole brother that can do no wrong.

I told Elliot that he needed to make a decision. He could continue thinking the way that he thought about my best friend if he so chose to do so but that if he did that he could walk his ass out the front fucking door and never come back. As it was, I told him that I wanted to be alone tonight, I had some thinking of my own to do. He walked over to me, kissed my temple, told me he would call me later and left.

Laying in my bed, crying my eyes out for the loss of someone that I care about so deeply for the first time in my life, I am not sure how I am going to make it. Letting Elliot go feels unbearable. I feel like a piece of me is missing. I love Elliot with all my heart but if he thinks Ana is capable of something like this, sweet innocent, naïve Ana, then what the fuck does he think about me, with my track record with men? Ana said that she didn't want to make me chose between her and Elliot. I hope that she realizes that isn't what's happening. It's more that I am now going to have to learn to trust Elliot again IF he comes to his senses.

* * *

**APOV**

I was almost asleep when Grace came in the door looking more than a bit upset. Asking her if everything was alright. She assured me that everything with me was then asked if she could talk to me about the baby. Ah hell. I thought we had already handled this, but the look on her face I knew there was more she wanted to talk about.

I asked her what was bothering her. She pulled the little round doctor's chair close to the bed and held my hand and looked up at me with pleading eyes before answering me. She wanted to know if Elliot had contributed to my stress levels in any way. My only honest answer to her was that for today, my stress was only contributed to Christian. I explained that I have made it a habit for the last two weeks to be as far away from Elliot as I could get.

The poor woman looked like someone had slapped her. She started apologizing for her boys' behavior. Both of them. Aghast that she would take responsibility for her grown sons' reaction to the news that one would be a father and the other an uncle, I tried to explain to her that this wasn't her fault. That I didn't hold her responsible for her grown children. They were grown men and could make up their own minds on how to handle a situation.

After about twenty minutes of pleading with her that I understood that their feelings on this baby is not how she raised them to react or how to behave an orderly came in to explain they were transferring me to a private room. As he held a wheelchair for me to move to it from the bed, I looked at Grace and reiterated that I would not hold her responsible for her children. That as long as she and Carrick both had a place in their hearts for their grandchild and that I would make sure that they would know him...or her. With a small smile she hugged me, thanked me and kissed my cheek before leaving.

Today has been draining to say the least. I am exhausted and all I want to do is sleep. Thankfully it doesn't take long to get to the private room that has been set up for me, no doubt by Christian. I am still rather confused about what he trying to do.

I don't know why he wants me here in Seattle so much that he would sabotage something like my work. He doesn't want this baby. He's said that he loves me but he doesn't want this child. Our child. Resting my hand on my still flat tummy I fall asleep dreaming of what this baby will look like when he or she comes into the world.


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter 49**

**A/N: Dinner time! :) I hope you enjoy it!**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. There's a link on my profile page. :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**Grace's POV**

I've gotten home and called Cary to make sure that he will be home soon. I explained that both boys will be here for dinner but that he and I needed to talk before they got here. He needs to know what is going on. Ana's pregnancy, I smile a bit thinking about having a grandbaby to spoil. But it's a melancholy smile. Bitter and sweet at the same time.

I can't believe that I heard my sons say the things they did in the hospital. I was a little disbelieving of Ana when she first told me that Christian didn't want to be a part of his child's life but to think that Elliot would accuse her of purposefully getting pregnant and sleeping around is beyond belief.

I didn't raise either of my sons to be so hurtful, so cruel. I also didn't ever see them coming to blows. They've never done that to each other. Sure Christian had a bout of rebelliousness in his teen years where there were multiple fights but never with his own brother. We, Carrick and I, taught all of our children that violence wasn't the answer. Christian, God love him, should know this by now. I know he still remembers the pain from the beatings that he received before we were lucky enough to adopt him. He knows that hitting someone is not the answer. I also know that he did it because he was defending and protecting Ana. I heard him clearly say that he loves her that's why its so hard to understand why he's willing to walk away from his responsibility as a father.

I'm upstairs changing into a pair of wide leg off white pants and a green patterned top. I picked out a pair of matching flats from the shoe wall in the closet and put them on the floor by the chaise and am standing picking out jewlery when Cary walks in.

Walking over loosening his tie, he greets me with a kiss. "Hi darling."

"Hi yourself." I smile at him.

We've been so lucky. Married for almost 33 years now. We got married really young. I was just 21, had just finished my undergraduate studies and was entering med school and Cary was 24 and had just finished law school. It has always been my wish that my children would find the kind of love that he and I have been so blessed to have throughout our lives.

As he's changing from his suit he yells out to me, "You said that we needed to discuss the boys? What's going on."

"Oh, Cary. There's so much. I think we may need to have this discussion downstairs where we can both have a drink." I know my voice sounds a bit sorrowful, but I can't help it. I've been trying not to cry since getting in the car to come home.

He instantly pops his head out from the closet, "Why? What's wrong?" eyebrows raised almost to his hairline.

"The boys are fine but..."

He's walking to me now, dressed in a pair of twill pants and pulling a polo tee shirt over his head as he reaches me, "No Gracie. What's going on that you are having a hard time telling me and advocating drinking as a coping mechanism?"

"Put some shoes on Cary. Let's go downstairs and talk about it. The boys will be here in less than thirty minutes and I don't want you blindsided by this." I tell him as I slip the green flats on.

He raises his eyebrow at my choice of shoes. He knows that I rarely wear flats even when I'm working in the hospital. Shaking his head he huffs at me then returns to the closet to grab a pair of loafers and we head out to the library to talk.

As we enter the library, I head straight to the bar and pour two tumblers of scotch. He looks a little disturbed when I hand him his glass. Quirking that eyebrow at me again. I usually never drink anything harder than wine in the evenings so he's more than curious to know what's going on.

"Ok Grace. What's going on?" He sounds so confused.

Sitting on the red leather sofa, Cary takes a seat in one of the brown wing back leather chairs. Staring at me intently, waiting for an answer. Taking a deep breath and exhaling it before I start. I look at the love of my life and wished I didn't have to have this conversation.

"Ana's pregnant. Christian doesn't want to be a father and Elliot is accusing her of sleeping around and getting pregnant on purpose."

There quick and to the point. No elaborations for him to pull apart the way that lawyers do. Even though he probably still will. Hopefully it won't be a full on interrogation. Staring at me, his mouth fell open. I can see him struggling to connect the dots. Yep, interrogation. I'm just going to have to wait for him to start asking. Not that I have a lot of answers to give.

He swallows the entire glass of scotch and gets up and pours another. Turning back to me, "Ok. Start with how do you know Ana's pregnant. How far along is she?"

"She was admitted into the hospital early this afternoon. She'd passed out at work. Christian and her security brought her in. Her blood pressure sky rocketed causing her to black out. Approximately 8 weeks. Give or take a day or two."

"Is is going to be ok? The baby?"

"As of right now they are both fine. She's being monitored to make sure that her blood pressure stays stable."

Rubbing his hand over his chin, Cary just nods then narrows his eyes. "Is there any truth to what Elliot is saying?"

I can't believe that he would think that but I know that he's an attorney and he's trying to figure out all aspects of what I'm saying to him. "I don't think so Cary. I don't think Christian does either. If the argument I overheard and the fight I witnessed were any indication."

"What!?"

Yeah. I didn't think that would go over too well but he was going to have to know about it too. "Evidently Elliot decided that the best time to voice his doubts about Ana was while she was in the hospital. Christian..." shaking my head and continuing, "well he's Christian. He's hot headed. Usually when we, any of us, say something that makes him mad he just leaves. You know that as well as I do Cary. But this time he didn't. He punched Elliot then professed his love for Ana and his...aversion, I guess would be the best word for how he felt, for the baby."

Cary is looking at me like I have two heads. Unbelieving that this is the turn of events that has transpired with the supposedly happy news that we are to be grandparents. Just as he is finishing up his second glass of scotch the door bell rings. Glancing at my watch, it's 6 o'clock.

"Cary, that will be the boys. They both better be here. I didn't give either of them an option. I'm going to check on dinner then meet you all in the great room."

Standing to leave I stop and kiss my husband. Holding him in an embrace for just a minute. Taking the reassurance that I need from him that tonight will be hard but that we will get through this together, just as we have gotten through everything else.

* * *

**CPOV**

Pulling up to my parent's home I spot Elliot's car. Fuck. I don't want to deal with this shit tonight. I don't know why my mother is so adamant about discussing this situation. It's my personal life and that has always been off limits and now somehow it isn't and I'm not sure that I can handle everything that may happen.

I know that I shouldn't beat the shit out of Elliot in my parent's home, but I swear if he says one more negative thing about Anastasia that I'll drag his ass out into the back yard and there will be a repeat of what happened earlier today. I love Ana. I may not like the situation that we find ourselves in, with being apart and her being pregnant, but I'll be damned if anyone is going to accuse her of anything in front of me.

We both get out of our cars at the same time. and head for the door. Neither of us looking at or even acknowledging the other. I'm sure that eventually this will be behind us but too much has happened today for either of us to apologize to the other.

My dad opens the door. Shock across his face when he sees Elliot's bruised face. I just smirk at him when he looks at me. But then he turns and looks at me with bewilderment and a bit of contempt. Yep. Mom and he have been talking.

"Boys." He greets us. Then turns and leads us into the great room. This has always been one of my favorite rooms in the house. I think because the piano sits in the huge arched window overlooking the back yard and through the trees you can see the Sound. The room is decorated warmly with honey hardwood floors, beige walls and marble fireplace, dark wood built-ins and oversized furniture. Yes. This is still my favorite room in the house.

"Your mother is checking on dinner. Either of you want anything to drink?" My father's good manners in play. I know that he's disappointed in both of us. You can see it on his face. I ask for a glass on wine and Elliot requests gin and tonic. My father goes to the bar, brings us both back our drinks and then gets his own.

Fuck. Scotch. Dad never drinks scotch, actually he never really drinks anything heavier than wine unless... unless something is really bothering him. Something that he can't deal well with. Shit. Tonight is going to be harder than I imagined. Mom walks into the room and shit if she doesn't have a glass of scotch too.

"Dinner's ready. Let's eat and then we can discuss the issues that are going on in this family." Then turns on her heel and leaves the room.

Sitting down to dinner we all take our normal seats, Mom at one end, dad at the other, me to dad's left and Elliot to mom's right. Thankfully Mia is not here tonight or I don't think that we would make it though the evening.

There is polite conversation about business, mine and Elliot's, about dad's work. But conspicuously no one has brought up how mom's day at the hospital has been. Guess that's going to be left for the family meeting after dinner. Of course mom asks Elliot how his eye is, trying to make sure that no permanent damage was done. Shit. I didn't hit him that hard.

Making it though that torturous dinner was amazing. My parent's have been giving each other meaningful looks since we sat down and both are giving Elliot and I disapproving looks. Any other time I would make a hasty retreat but I know that isn't possible tonight. My mother won't be deterred from having her say and she has yet to say it.

After each of us decline dessert, mom suggests going back and sitting down and talking 'like adults'. I guess that's my hint not to throw punches. Closing my eyes, trying to center myself for the upcoming onslaught and barrage of questions coming my way I follow my family into the great room.

Dad takes his place by the fireplace, mom hers on the couch. I'm standing next to the piano, hoping to draw some solace from it even though I'm not playing. Elliot takes a seat on the striped chair diagonal from the couch. And then it begins.

"We understand that we are going to be grandparents. First, I'm going to say congratulations, Christian." My dad starts off. And I hear Elliot snort.

"What the fuck Elliot." I growl at him.

"What?" comes from Elliot looking smug as my mother, "Mind your language Christian."

Sheepishly, "sorry mom. What was the snort for Elliot?"

"You know why. How can you be sure." He glares at me.

I can't fucking believe that he's going to keep this shit up! I'm glaring at him and he just fucking continues, "She's moved on awful fast, don't you think."

And before I can even move or respond my father yells, "Elliot, damn it that's enough!"

We all turn to look at my father standing there. He's in full on Senior Founding Partner in the largest most profitable firm in the Pacific Northwest mode. I've only seen him this angry maybe twice in my entire life. The last time was when I dropped out of Harvard.

Squaring his shoulders, setting his glass on the mantle and looking at his eldest son, "You can not go around accusing people of sleeping around when we all know that you have slept with half the women in Seattle!"

Oh Shit. We all know Elliot's a man-whore but its never been brought up especially in front of our mother and here is dad throwing it out there. I am trying to hold back a smug expression when my father turns his attentions to me. "What the hell are you smirking for! Your ex-girlfriend, the first girlfriend you've ever had mind you, is pregnant with your child and you want nothing to do with your own flesh and blood!"

Standing straight from my leaning position on the piano, "I never wanted to be a father, Dad. This child was an accident. I had just gotten to the point that I could admit how I felt about Ana after so many weeks without her then I find out this. It's not something that I want. It's not something I can do."

My father, looking like I surprised him turns and looks at my mother. "Gracie, why don't you take Elliot into the kitchen and talk with him. Christian and I need to have a little chat. Father to father."

I'm surprised that he worded it like that or that he didn't drag my ass into his study. Growing up that's where all the major discussions have always taken place but this time he wants it here in the great room. Fuck. I don't know what to make of that.

My mom just nods her head and goes to leave the room, turning to Elliot, "You are not getting a special invitation. Come, now. You and I will discuss your digressions and correct them.

"Before I leave this room I am going to say something to the both of you. Understand me because I will only say this once," my mother continues, "that child is my grandchild and come hell or high water your father and I will have a relationship with him, or her, from this day forward. I will help Ana prepare, if necessary, for the birth and I will be a grandmother in all respects to that child. You, neither of you," motioning between Elliot and me, "will get in the way of your father's or my relationship regarding that precious baby. I hope you both understand what I am saying."

Then she again turns on her heel and leaves the room. Elliot stands and sheepishly gives dad a look and follows mom out of the room. He knows, we all do, that when she starts with 'you are not getting a special invitation...' that we had better do what she has requested or there will be consequences that no one wants to endure.

My dad looks at me and his eyes say it all. He's hurt, disappointed, angry. I've made him feel this way and as much as we haven't had the best of relationships I never want to make either of my parents feel that way towards me. I feel the need to let him know that I am not a total deadbeat.

"I plan on taking care of the child. Financially. But Ana has already declined my offer to do so."

A spark of respect in his eye turns to indignation quickly, "You should take care of your child financially Christian but why would she decline?"

"She said that she can take care of herself and the baby just fine without my support. Of course she won't have to. I'll do it anyway but that's about all I can offer her at this time."

"Why Christian. We, your mother and I, didn't raise you to shrug off your responsibilities. This is your child as much as it is hers. How can you be so willing to walk away."

There. That's the question that I have been dreading all night. I can't explain to my parents, either of them, all of the fucked up shit in my world and yet my father wants an explanation.

Looking down to compose myself before answering, I'm hit with all the memories of the pimp. The man that made me the way I am; the man that caused my haphephobia. How can I be a father with this paragon of hate that has been within me for most of my life.

"I don't know how to be a father. I can barely admit my feelings for Anastasia at this moment. I don't know how to be a father and I don't want to learn. There's no room in my life, in my world for a child." There that's the best answer I can give him.

My father actually looks like I have slapped him when he responds to me, "Christian. I know that I have been the strict parent when you all were growing up. But was I that bad of a father that you have no model, no frame of reference to use as a go-by while trying to raise your child to the best of your ability?"

Wow. I didn't expect that. Shocked I tell him, "Of course not. You and mom have been wonderful parents. The best. But there's too much in my past for me to be able to move forward with. I don't want to fuck up a kid."

"Christian. You would never mess up your child. The only thing you can do is draw upon your experiences and do the best you can."

"Don't you see. That's just it. My experiences are so much worse than even you can imagine. I've never told you, or mom, what I remember from those years. Of the abuse. Of course you both knew that something happened but I remember it. I live it every fucking night of my life when I go to sleep. I will not subject any child, let alone my own, to that nightmare!"

Agitated that no one seems to understand that I am trying to say, I run my hands through my hair. Elbows on knees, hands in hair and just sit. I don't even know when I moved to the chair Elliot was in earlier but I am. Finally looking at my father because he has yet to say anything more, I see sadness fill his eyes.

"Christian, I'm going to share with you a short story. Take from it what you want but I want you to leave here thinking about what I have to say before anymore rash decisions are made.

"I wouldn't change having you, your sister or your brother in my life ever. I love the three of you more than you can imagine. You three are my children regardless of any adoption. That being said, there's something to be had about having a child of your own. One that shares your blood. It's a legacy that carries on to every generation. I have never gotten to experience that feeling of knowing that a part of me will still be on this earth after I am gone.

"No don't interrupt and don't take this as I am ungrateful that I have you or your brother and sister. I'm not. I don't regret a day of my life with you three.

"Did you know that your mother had three miscarriages before we ever decided to adopt. She was put through the ringer. Wonderfully elated and then severely depressed time and time again. It takes a toll on a person, on a relationship. She wanted to keep trying, not believing the doctors when we were told that she was never going to be able to carry a child to full term. I didn't, I didn't want to continue to put her through that. I didn't want to continue to put myself though that. We separated for a time."

I'm looking at my father with utter confusion. I never knew this. I never knew my mother had gone through this or that my parents had spent any time apart. Their marriage has always been so strong. Something that I have secretly wished to have but know that it will never happen.

He's continuing, "That was the hardest eight months of my life. Being away from your mother. But it made us both realize that our love was stronger than we thought, we decided to work through the depression and loss together and it did nothing but strengthen our marriage. But its still something that I would have wished to have. That biological connection to another person. Being able to look at that child and finding my features mixed in with your mother's. Oh I still got my dream. I wanted three children." He smiles, "I have three of the most amazing children that this world has ever produced," stating with pride, "that said, I would have loved if you all had been mine biologically. That's a type of connection that I'll never have.

"The loss of a child is something that I hope you never have to go through Christian. I wouldn't willingly give up any of you and even though you're not biologically mine, all three of you are mine nonetheless. You Christian will have that connection. Don't throw it away. You will regret that decision in the future. Trust me when I tell you that."

Standing now, "Its been a long night. Go home. Think about what I've said. Call me if you want to talk but don't give up on you child before you give it a chance. We raised you better than that."

He turns and leaves the room, heading toward the kitchen I guess looking for mom and I head to the front door. I need to check on Ana. I know that I can't call. They won't give me any information over the phone. But in person... maybe.

* * *

APOV

I've woken from my little nap to a rumbling tummy. I smile and place my hand on my stomach realizing that nugget must be hungry, I didn't get lunch today as I was in the ER and Sawyer had no intentions of leaving my doorway while Christian was in the vicinity.

Ok, first things first I have to use the bathroom. Shit the crutches are on the other side of the room. I really wish that I didn't have another four weeks in this stupid cast. I suppose I could push for the nurse but I've no idea how long it will take for them to get here and I really have to go. So I hop out of the bed onto my good foot. I'm getting pretty good at hopping, and hop my way over to the bathroom door. Just as I am about to open it, it swings open scaring me and I loose my balance and fall. Just before my bum hits the floor, large hands have caught me.

Looking up I see those amazing indigo eyes looking down on me. Throwing my arms around his neck as he pulls me to his hard chest I squeal, "Gideon!"

He holds me tightly to his chest for a minute then leans down and kisses me, "I missed you sweet girl"


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter 50**

**A/N: Sorry this took so long but I was having trouble figuring out what to put on "paper" so to speak. I've said it before I don't have chapters written ahead and only write as it comes to me. This chapter has been unbelievably difficult to get down just because I couldn't work through how to get to where I want this to go. Anyway, thank you all for your patience and I really do hope you like this one! **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. It is /ammibm5/a-new-light/ **

**There's also link on my bio page. :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

After throwing my arms around his neck he gave me the gentlest kiss and told me that he missed me. It actually warms my heart that he feels that way about me. I have to admit that the distance between us hasn't been as difficult as I imagined it would be but it has only been two weeks and I was supposed to be going to New York this week.

I hoped that he would be here. I almost certain that he would be once he spoke with Sawyer. But I can't even fathom the depth of emotion that I feel for him. Caring about me and flying all the way across the country to be with me when I needed... well, when I needed Christian to care that much. I didn't think that I would ever be able to feel that again. Not after Christian, and definitely not with everything going on. The stress and heartache still sits just below the surface of everything that I feel. But this is different. He put me first and it's almost like a healing balm.

I know that sadness fills my eyes when I think that I won't make it. I have always wanted to see the city and the short trip that Kate and I had didn't really allow me to do that. This time I had planned on not flying home until late Sunday, so that I would have had most of the weekend to explore, hopefully with Gideon as a tour guide.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Gideon asks me. Obviously he saw the fleeting expression of sorrow flick across my face.

"It's nothing, really." I look over to him and see nothing but concern in those cobalt eyes of his.

"Don't do that sweet girl. Don't shut me out. What's wrong?" Taking my hand and giving a gentle squeeze, reassuring me that it's ok to let him in.

I just shrug my shoulders and look down at my hands, twisting them in my lap and quietly admit, "I'm glad you're here but..."

"But what, Ana?" Suddenly letting my hand go and sitting back in his chair. His eyes intense but revealing nothing of his emotions. His voice did that.

I can hear him trying to control the steel edge but the sharpness to his voice is there nonetheless. I quickly look at him and take in the change. Reaching for his hand it takes him a moment but he reluctantly takes mine in his firm grasp.

"You didn't let me finish Gideon. I was going to say, I was supposed to be able to meet you in New York. Now I've ruined that," taking a breath to finish. "I'm glad you're here. I'm glad that we're together this just isn't how I wanted it to be. I wanted to be able to get away and actually spend time with you in YOUR city this time."

I've kept eye contact with him as I explained where my head is but now I am just looking down at my lap. I don't want to be so emotional but I wanted a nice weekend away. Away from Seattle, away from the stress, and away from Christian Grey.

Suddenly, I feel the bed dip next me. Gideon has moved from the chair and is now sitting on beside to me. He folds me up in his strong muscular arms and just holds me for a moment before gently kissing my forehead. His five o'clock shadow a looks good on him but it is a bit abrasive. That thought makes me giggle and he pulls back to look at me with a look of confusion in his eyes.

I reach up and stroke his cheek, and as he leans in to my hand, gently with one finger stroking his cheek, "the rough look is nice to look at Mr. Cross but a bit scratchy." I tell him with a smirk.

Just as he's letting out that laugh of his that I love so much, the one that would make the whole room light up and smile, if there were others in the room that is, there is a knock on the door and Sawyer enters with a couple of bags from Lola on 4th Avenue. I've heard Lola is really good Mediterranean/North African inspired food made with all local ingredients.

I perked right up as Sawyer hands the bags to Gideon and as the fabulous smell reaches my nose my stomach starts rumbling. Both men turn and look at me. Sawyer with a smirk and a mischievous glint in his eye and Gideon with surprise and a chuckle.

"Someone's hungry? I'm glad you're feeling better Ana." Sawyer says before turning to Gideon, "Sullivan's here, Sir. I'm heading out for the night but if either of you need me..."

He didn't finish his statement before Gideon interrupted, "No. No thank you. You've gone above and beyond today. Thank you for everything. Enjoy your night."

They shook hands and after Sawyer left I looked over at Gideon as he was putting the food together and just took him in. Thinking once again about the similarities and differences that I find between him and Gideon. Christian would never have even thought about thanking a member of his staff, hell for that matter I've never heard him be anything but short with them. Telling them what he wants and demanding more than required. He would never thank them for doing what he considered their job but Gideon just did and not only do I find it surprising but a welcome jolt of refreshness that not every CEO hotshot is an ass.

Gideon has moved the bed table over to me with my meal on it and a smile on his face. "You were still sleeping when I got here and Sawyer informed me you haven't eaten. I took the liberty of ordering. Don't worry, nothing too heavy."

A smile on his face, I see what he sent Sawyer to get and he answers my unspoken question, "Halibut in a vegetable broth with lemon butter and roasted rainbow carrots cooked in duck fat with dates, cumin, orange and wheat berries. I didn't know how hungry you'd be but I also didn't want it to be too heavy," he tells me with a sheepish look on his face.

"It looks amazing! Thank you. And yes both nugget and I are starving."

I looks at me with amusement and shakes his head, "well we can't have that now can we? Here," he says as he hands me a fork and starts putting together his dinner on the side table next to the chair he was in earlier.

"That looks amazing too. What did you get?" I ask as I look over at his meal.

"It's just a fisherman's stew. It has scallops, shellfish, squid, spring vegetables, in a ouzo and celery broth."

We sit and eat quietly. Every now and again I look over at Gideon and see that as he's eating he's actually watching me. Each time I see so much caring in his face, an unhindered and unfettered tenderness that takes my breath away each time I see it.

As we're finished up and Gideon clean up after us, picking up the take out boxes and tossing them in the trash. Then picked me up and took me to the bathroom and gave me time to brush my teeth and quickly wash up. When I opened the door he picked me up and gently placed me back on the bed then went into the bathroom himself, with an overnight bag that I didn't know he had. I heard the shower running and nestled down in the bed. It's been an exhausting day and I hate to admit that I am more tired than I realized. Once dinner settled in my exhaustion was taking over but I wanted to wait for Gideon.

He came out of the bathroom in a pair of white cotton sleep pants sans shirt. Oh My Goodness, his chest is amazing and I can't keep my eyes off his amazing abs. He starts walking towards me, still not shaved but that causes me to smile more and leans down to me.

Gently pressing his lips to mine in one of the most tender kisses he's ever given to me and it literally takes my breath away, then he whispered, "I don't want to leave you sweet girl. I'm going to sleep on the couch if you don't mind?"

I smiled up at him, he has to know the reaction that he cause in me when he does that. Shaking my head a little because I love the fact that he already made himself comfortable, well as comfortable as one can get in a hospital, before he asked. Though I know that if I were to deny him he would fight but then he would go to a hotel. I honestly don't want that. I want him near. I want to feel the comfort that he brings to me when he's close.

I scoot over and move the bed sheet over, "No couch, with me?"

I'm looking at him and see his torn emotions. He's fighting with himself, whether he should or not. Then I see a calmness take over and he saunters over and sits down beside me.

But before getting comfortable, he moves the sheet to my hips and looking at me in the eyes take hold of the awful hospital gown and moves it up to just under my breasts. I'm a bit shocked. I didn't expect this and am wondering what he's doing.

He looks at me and laughs at my expression, kisses my nose and just says, "Don't worry sweet girl, I'm just saying goodnight to our little nugget."

Then very slowly and tenderly he leans down and kisses my still flat tummy right above my navel. He's quietly whispering against my stomach for a few minutes before I hear him say, "Good night little one. We love you out here."

There are tears in my eyes when he finally lays down. and moves the hospital gown down over me and pulls the sheet over us both. He looks at me and the worry is back in his face, "What's wrong? You ok?"

"I don't think I could be any better Mr. Cross. Thank you." I know he can hear the emotion in my voice but I can't explain to him my feelings right now. Hell I can't explain them to myself. But whatever it is that I am feeling I don't want to lose. I cherish how this man makes me feel but I'm so unbelievably scared at the same time. I reach up and kiss him on the cheek before making myself comfortable on his chest. I feel his hand moving gently, rhythmically up and down over my shoulders. One to the other and before I know it I am sound asleep.

* * *

**CPOV**

I need to find out how Ana's doing. After my conversation with my dad about everything that he and my mom went through before adopting I am beyond drained and exhausted. As I get in my SUV, I tell Taylor to take me to the hospital so that we can check on Ana. I see him glance back at me in the rear view mirror as we leave my parents estate and I have to say that again I see nothing but loathing in his eyes. I don't care what he thinks, he's an employee but at the same time it is kind of bothersome that he feels he can openly show that to me.

Elliot started his bull shit again about Ana and I swear if he doesn't get himself in check and soon I don't know what I'll do, but I won't have him talking about or to Ana the way that he has done today. I may not be with her, as much as I want to be, but she is still the mother of my child and that alone deserves some respect from the members of this family.

I don't think that will ever be an issue with my parents. They've only met Ana a couple of times and I could tell they like her immediately just the first time I brought her over but after today's revelation and her promising they will be a part of their grandchild's life regardless of me, well, respect was earned as well.

I however seem to have lost some respect where both my parents are involved. I don't think that I have ever seen my mother so disappointed in me in my life. And as for my dad, well we've never had a heart to heart like that before and I'm still in shock over it. He doesn't want me to give up the opportunity that he and mom wished so much they could have had and said that I will regret it.

I don't know about regretting it. I still don't want to raise a child. But I guess after our conversation I am more willing to accept that the child will be here soon. I still want Ana. More than I can even imagine. I've finally admitted that I love her but now she is a package that I'm not sure how much I want.

Running my hand through my already messy hair, I know that I am going to be spending more time in Flynn's office in the next several months preparing for this than I am at GEH which is where I should be. Fuck. I don't need this shit. I don't need to have to worry about a fucking baby. I just want MY Ana. I wished she would just let me talk to her. Work that much out then we can deal with the fact that she's going to be a mother.

Getting to the hospital, I have to turn on the charm a bit to one of the nurses to give me Ana's room number. It's late and after visiting hours but I need to check and make sure that she's ok. She's on the 8th floor, room 8110, the maternity ward. Oh fucking great, I have to go up there. Thankfully, its late and I won't run into too many pregnant about to pop women. Fuck. Making my way up to her room I notice that Sawyer is not at the door, no one is actually. Hmmm I wouldn't have thought that he would have left after the way he acted earlier tonight. But maybe its my luck that he did and she'll be awake and we can talk.

Cautiously I move to her room and open the door and what I see when I step in has me almost on my knees. Thankfully I still have a hold of the door in a white knuckled grip helping to keep me steady as I back out of the room. Gently closing the door I slide down the wall next to the closed door and start to sob at the sight I just saw.

My Ana draped across Gideon Cross' bare chest, both asleep.

Both hands in my hair, elbows resting on my knees and I start to silently sob because he's giving her something that I never will be able to.

Touch.


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter 51**

**A/N: Wow so many reviews. I think I was able to respond to everyone and if I missed you I'm sorry! I do have to address on review here from a "Guest" though.**

**For the "Guest" that said that reading the last part of Chapter 50 showed that "...Christian lost this battle because Ana already gave her heart to someone else and poor Christian is going to left without his child because she's found a replacement dad.." and "Ana clearly is too attached to Gideon's *** to notice..." UMMM REALLY? Have you read the story! Christian doesn't want to be a father to the baby. She hasn't committed to Gideon, she cares for him and it could lead to a functioning working relationship. Would you deny yourself the opportunity to be with someone who obviously cares a great deal about you and wants you no matter what your situation is especially if you were left high and dry by the father of your unborn child all because he didn't want to be a father. In my story Ana doesn't know about his childhood, they never made it that far into their relationship so there wouldn't be anything for her to notice AND when exactly did she ride his **** that she would be attached to it? Because I am pretty sure that I haven't written any lemons. (yet!) Maybe you should go back and READ the story before you decide to comment on it when your comment doesn't make a damn bit of sense!**

**Ok off my rant and on with the story! It is just a short one. Hopefully before the weekend hits I'll get ya'll another. :) **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapters, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. There's a link on my bio page. :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**CPOV**

I'm sitting on the floor outside of Ana's hospital room. The hospital room she is in because of me. Because I chose to try to control her knowing that it would upset her. Knowing she would fight me on what I did about the convention she was to attend in New York. I didn't want her in New York. I didn't want her where she would have easy access to Cross. Yes, I did it for a selfish reason I know but she is mine. I don't know what to do about, or how to feel about, the fact that she will be a mother. That I will be a father but seeing her curled up in Cross' arms, content and peaceful just about broke me.

I also know that as much as I want to give this woman the world, I won't ever be able to. I will never be able to give her the comfort that she is being given so willingly from Cross. I can't allow her to touch me like that. The hurt from my childhood not just a memory but a chasm of bleak horror that rears its ugly face anytime someone comes near me. I freeze instantaneously.

When I was younger I used to crave feeling anything; fear or pain, it didn't matter. Love was never something that I ever thought would be possible. I wanted it. I saw my parents, saw their love and saw the love they showered on my brother and sister and wished that I could allow them to show that to me too but… Me feeling pain is one thing but for Grace, my saving angel, to feel pain because of me is something that I have never been good at dealing with. I have never been able to give her those motherly hugs that she bestowed on Elliot and Mia. The searing pain was just too much to bear. Carrick, he was a playful father but strict and never outright touchy freely. Thankfully they respected my boundaries.

I have never felt deserving of the love they were able to show me and never have I thought I would find it or feel it as an adult. But I did. I found Anastasia. Or should I say she found me. I will always be more than grateful that Katherine ended up with the flu that fateful day.

But knowing how I feel about this baby, my childhood, D/s past, I know that I can't give Anastasia everything that her heart desires and it's like a knife turning in my soul. She needs to feel loved and welcomed in someone's embrace and I can't give that to her.

Taylor finally finds me curled on my ass on the floor outside Anastasia's hospital room and noticing that security isn't around looks at me with concern.

"Sir?"

I know he's trying to figure out what's going on and I'd rather not discuss everything going through my head with him. Hell, I don't even think Flynn could work out everything in my mind right now but he sure would love a shot at it.

Standing and walking past him, "It's nothing Taylor. Let's go."

Getting into the car and driving silently home I notice Taylor regarding me in the rear view mirror several times. Irritated is curtly ask, "What's on your mind Taylor?"

Surprised that I addressed with a question he just asks, "Openly Sir?"

Ok, I'll give him this one opportunity to say what he needs to. Then he better be done with it. "This time. Yes."

Never taking his eyes off the road as he starts talking, "You will lose her if you keep behaving the way you are. She doesn't do well with dominance. Control is fine as long as she feels like she is being included in any decision but if she feels that you are taking her free-will away she will leave. Hell that's what she did.

"You're going to be a father and as much as I have heard you rant and rave about how you don't want to be one that will change as soon as you see that precious baby take its first breath or hear its cry for the first time. Babies change the people in their lives, men especially. I certainly did when Sophie was born. They give you a new view of the world. You, Sir, are going to deny yourself that and deny Ana that.

"She doesn't deserve to be treated how she has been. I say this, that girl is special. She changed you in such a short time...for the better. You hurt, you let her leave, you broke her spirit and you didn't go after her until she was seen with someone else. Now you claim to want her but not the child. Well, you can't want her and not want _your _child. That will kill her more than anything else you've done. If you can't accept this walk away and let her be happy."

I look up at him in amazement. I can't believe that he just said everything that he did. I think this is the most that Taylor has ever said at once to me. Certainly about anything so private. He's never addressed the issues with my subs except to remove them once a contract ended so for him to say this much about Ana... well, she is special. I guess not just to me.

She's mine. I want her. But Taylor and my father are right. I am going to have to figure out what I am going to do about accepting this baby because if I can't I'll never get her back.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter 52**

**A/N: Thank you all for enjoying my little story! I'm not sure how much I like this one but here you go. :) **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapter, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. There's a link on my bio page. :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

I am awoke by tossing and turning in the bed along with the sounds of painful moaning. Sitting up to gain some clarity I realize that it's Gideon beside me. He sounds like he is being tortured. He's still asleep. Frowning I'm not sure if I should try to wake him from his nightmare or if he'll settle in a few minutes.

Gideon and I have slept beside each other a couple of times, nothing sexual has happened, though I know he has wanted that. However, I've never woken to him having a nightmare before. I have usually found him laying beside me, watching me. And I know on more than one occasion I have talked in my sleep and he just listened to what I had to say.

His moaning has gotten worse and he's broken out into a cold sweat. Deciding that he shouldn't have to go through this nightmare, I gently place one hand on his chest and feel his heart beat racing. Leaning down to his ear I quietly call to him. Hoping that I'll be able to calm him without waking him. There's no response other than his continuous moaning. When he starts thrashing, I decide to press harder on his chest and shake him just a bit.

Calling out to him, "Gideon. Darling, wake up."

He suddenly grabs my wrist and yells at me not to touch him. His grip is only just painful. Over and over again he's saying not to touch him, that he doesn't this. I don't know what he's referring to but I'm starting to worry and his grip on my wrist is tightening.

Shoving him with my free hand harder I continue to call out to him trying to rouse him from whatever nightmare he seems to be caught in. Suddenly his eyes open and the only thing that I see is pure unadulterated hatred. He hisses at me that he's not a little boy any longer, that he can defend himself. _What the hell? _There's an edge to his voice that puts my entire body on alert. He still has ahold of my wrist and his grip is just getting tighter.

I realize that he's still asleep. His words are fuzzy but his tone is lethal. I need to get him to wake up before this gets any worse and for some reason I know that it can and will if I can't. I suddenly yell for Sullivan. He should be right out the door. Sawyer said that he was here before he left. I've yelled a couple of times but he hasn't answered or come in to see what's happening and I'm starting to get scared. Gideon is still mumbling and moaning, still gripping me but thankfully his eyes have drifted closed again.

Suddenly he is on top of me, pressing me hard into the bed, kissing my neck. He's pinning me down. _Oh God. No._ I have to wake him and I have to get him off of me. Yelling at him to get off of me he just laughs.

"What you don't like it when I do this to you? You don't like when I do to you what you did to me?!" He yells.

What the fuck!? Jesus, I think for a second about how to get him off of me and the only thing that comes to mind, with my arms pinned down is to ... Shit this is going to hurt. Thankfully he's straddling me, I raise my good leg and knee him.

He slumps over and moves away screaming in pain, again. But this time I can tell that he's awake. He's holding his groin when his beautiful blue eyes find mind looking at him. I know the look in my face is that of fear and the one in his is of utter desolation.

Scooting away from me as far as he can get while still holding his groin I hear him whispering, "Oh my god, what have I done. I'm so sorry."

There's tears in his eyes and when I reach for him he jumps. "Don't," he says.

Slowly he moves off the bed, digs through his overnight bag for a shirt and throwing one on he sits on the couch for a few minutes. He's head resting in his hands; I know he's trying to compose himself before he looks up at me, fear and disgust for himself in his eyes and asks, "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

I have never seen him like this. He looks broken. Gideon has never appeared that way to me. Always strong, always resilient, always in control, never ever have I seen him look broken. With tear tracks running down his cheeks and a hitch to his voice and all I want to do his hold him. He was asleep. Tangled in a horrible nightmare. This wasn't him and I need him to know that I understand.

"Gideon, come here?" I ask as I scoot over on the bed making room for him to sit down beside me. But he just looks at me those wonderfully blue eyes cloudy with fear. Shaking his head at me.

Again I ask, "Gideon? Please? You asked me last night not to shut you out. I'm asking you the same. I'm fine, no worse for the wear, now please come here?"

He looks up at me with wonder and turmoil. Slowly he moves to the side of the bed and sits down. I place my hand on his leg and he just looks down at it resting there for a second before he covers it with his own. Gripping my hand, "I'm so sorry sweet girl. You're sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm sure. Care to tell me what happened?" I look at him pleading that he will tell me.

"I ... " he starts before thinking of something. "Where's Sullivan? He should have been here to stop this? He should have heard before it got this far?"

I'm surprised by his change in demeanor. He suddenly releases of my hand and stands heading for the door.

"Gideon?"

"I'll only be a minute. I want to see where your security is." He says as he opens the door and leaves the room.

Suddenly left alone, I sit and think over the last hour. I'm confused to say the least. His nightmare seemed to be so real for him. Like he was reliving it as he was dreaming. How is that possible? What happened to him? Why would he attack like that in his sleep? How broken is he really? How long has this been going on? As the questions continue to mount Gideon strides back into the room with a look of pure fury on his face.

Seeing my look of concern Gideon tells me that he found Sullivan sleeping in a chair in the waiting room and that by the looks of him he'd been there for some time. He's shaking with anger and I know that I need to calm him down, especially if I want him to talk to me.

"Gideon, its 4 o'clock in the morning. We can deal with that later now I want you to sit down and tell me what happened."

He stops dead as he dialing his phone. "I need to deal with this now."

"No. You're here. I'm perfectly fine, shaken but fine but I need to know what happened. I need to understand Gideon. You can fire him tomorrow when Sawyer gets here. Now sit down and tell me."

I'm looking at him with all the earnestness that I can muster. I'm still shaken but I want to know what I'm dealing with. I need to know how to deal with this. I'm confused as to what happened.

Gideon walks over pulling a chair with him to the side of the bed and sits on it. Looking at my hands before taking one in one of his and placing his other on my tummy, "You're sure that you're okay. I didn't hurt you?"

Covering his large hand on my lower abdomen, "Yes. Now please. What happened? That wasn't a normal nightmare Gideon. You...your eyes were open looking at me but I could tell that you didn't see _ME_. You were seeing someone else."

He closes his eyes for a second before quietly starting his story. He tells me that he has parasomnia with night terrors. That they have gone on for years but that it wasn't until about six months ago that he decided that he needed to see someone about them. After a few months of therapy and participating in a sleep lab the doctor prescribed a medication for him that would allow him to actually sleep through the night. He told me that sometimes even with the medication that stress can override the drug and the night terrors come back.

Covering my face in my hands I realized that today could have triggered this. My God I caused him to endure something that he has struggled with for years that he had finally gotten control of.

"You were worried about me. The stress brought this on?" I whimpered.

Gently moving my hands from my face and lifting my chin with his finger so that I would be looking directly into his eyes. Cobalt to sky, he says, "No sweet girl. It's my fault. I was worried about you so much that I _chose _not to go to my apartment but straight to the airport. I forgot the medication. It was a stupid mistake and all I can say is I'm sorry and prove to you that I am."

There's so much earnestness in his voice I want to believe him but I know that his unscheduled flight, his rushing to get here, his failure to have everything that he needed was because of me. Because I was here. Because I was hurting and in pain. Tears are seeping from my eyes. I can't hold them back.

Looking up at him, "Can't you tell me why you have the night terrors."

"Maybe someday sweet girl but right now, no. Now I want you to back to sleep. I'm going to do some work." He stands and kisses my forehead and makes his way over to his bag and pulls out his laptop. Moving the chair over so that when he sits down on the couch he can rest his legs on the seat, he turns the laptop on and starts work.

Never lifting his gaze from the screen he addresses me, "It's around 8 am in New York and I need to get some work done. Close your eyes and get some rest. You and nugget both need it." Then he looks over at me, "I really am sorry Anastasia," before lowering his gaze back down to the screen.

I see the turmoil running through him with that one simple statement. He's said it over and over since I was able to finally wake him but he sounds so very sad every time he says it that it just wrenches my heart out. This time, though, it feels like a farewell. Like he won't be here later.

"Ok. You'll be here when I wake right? You're not going anywhere?"

His head jerks up, surprise written all over his face, "Yes, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere unless you throw me out." He tells me with a smirk.

Laying on my side looking over at him and pulling the blankets up to my chin, "Not gonna happen Cross. Thank you for being here."

"No where else I'd rather be sweet girl. Good night."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter 53**

**A/N: Thank you all for enjoying my little story! I'm not sure how much I like this one but here you go. :) **

**I wanted this out earlier tonight but got sidetracked. Miss Ellabankss gave us a new chapter for Strong Steele and Missreadingfool gave us double chapters for The Reluctant Parent (and left us with one crazy ass surpising cliffhanger!) Thanks to both wonderful authors for making me say "YAY!" when I heard my email ping that your next chapters were out! :)**

**If you haven't read either please do! They are both great! **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapter, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. There's a link on my bio page. :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**GPOV**

I can't believe what a fucking idiot I am! I fucking forgot the damn medication. I don't always have to take it just when I am extremely stressed out. The therapy sessions that I started six months ago help. My therapist wants to try to wean me off of the drug therapy but I have been adamant about making sure that the prescription is always on hand just in case my stress levels get to be too much. I wasn't lying when I told Ana even with the medication sometimes the night terrors are more than strong enough to override the drug. That's why I have been so insistent with the therapist that should still have some on hand.

But after tonight...Fuck! Just thinking about tonight and what could have happened all because I forgot those little orange and yellow capsules. I could have seriously hurt the one person that I have found I can't get out of my head, someone that deserves the best of everything, someone that I feel could end up meaning everything to me.

I put her in danger tonight by not stopping at my apartment before coming here. But I was just so worried after getting that call from Sawyer; hearing her scream in pain on the other end of the phone. I just started running straight for the elevator and yelling at my PA Scott to make sure that Cessna was ready to go when I got to Teterboro. The Cessna Citation was the newest plane in the my fleet and my personal aircraft of choice, it's also the fastest private plane in the world. That's all that I was thinking about. Getting to Ana as quickly as possible. Stopping at the apartment would have added extra time to my already 45 minute trip to the airstrip that I didn't want to waste.

I need to call my therapist so that I can get my prescription filled. I won't go another night without taking it while I'm still stressed and with Ana. I won't put her in jeopardy again.

Checking the time, I look at my watch, I smile to myself. I could afford any type of watch that I wished for but my favorite, my day-to-day, is my grandfather's Rolex. A simple black leather banded white-faced plain watch. My grandparents weren't wealthy people. Neither came from money but my grandfather worked hard to provide for his family and after twenty-five years with the same accounting firm they bestowed on him this watch. When he gave it to me, right after I graduated high school, he told me that everything comes in good time. Work hard and do as much as possible and good things will come your way. Smiling at the memory, I think he was talking more along the lines of a reward like this watch but I believe that after working and achieving all that I have, that Ana coming into my life could be the reward that I am hoping for.

I shake my head clearing my thoughts. I have come to care greatly for this beautiful beguiling young woman. No woman has ever grabbed my attention or fascinated me as much as she has especially in such a short time. I would willingly make her mine and only mine but I need her to come to me herself. She has so very much to work through. Christian Grey. Fuck. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that little shocker. When she explained he was her ex and then to find out that she was carrying his child. I could have walked out the door, who would have blamed me. Knowing her as I do, she certainly wouldn't have. But I can't fathom her not having some bearing in my life. I will readily accept her and her child if she will let me. She looked at me with those crystal blue eyes and asked for time. I will give her the time she asked for but I want her to know without a shadow of a doubt that I will be there for her whenever she may need me.

Shaking my head to clear the thoughts that have run through it, knowing I haven't done a bit of work since she fell back to sleep, I realize that it is almost 10 am in New York. Time to call the therapist and get him to call in a prescription to the hospital pharmacy so that I can pick it up without having to leave Ana alone.

* * *

**APOV**

I wake hearing Gideon's quiet baritone voice. It sounds like he is on the phone. I hear him say that he had an emergent situation out of the city and left hurriedly forgetting his prescription and asking if one could be called in to the hospital pharmacy. Keeping my eyes closed so that he can finish his conversation knowing that eavesdropping is never a good thing but I hope that maybe it will give me a little more insight to what happened with him last night.

"Yes I had another one...No, nowhere near as violent as they have been in the past..." He runs his hand through his hair stopping on his neck, holding it there as he continues, "It's been awhile...Yes...Don't you think I fucking know that. That's why I'm calling. I need the prescription filled while I'm here. I won't risk anyone else. Especially not Ana..."

I listen for a minute longer and hear him give the person on the other end the name of the hospital before I open my eyes. He ends the call and sits back against the couch. Both hands sliding up and down his face a few times before coming to a rest on the top of his head, eyes closed, head resting on the wall behind him for a minute before moving one leg onto the couch and resting his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand.

He's gotten dressed in a pair of light brown trousers, oatmeal colored polo and brown corduroy jacket and I have to say he looks yummy. But he also looks so tired and I know that I'm responsible for that. He woke up in New York yesterday, went to work, took a six-hour flight here, stayed up with me before sleeping last night and then that damn nightmare and he's been up since. I don't think the man has had more than three hours sleep in the last 24.

"I'm fine, sweet girl."

My eyes go wider when he speaks. How could he know I was awake and looking at him? Letting out a sigh, "You don't look so fine Gideon. You look tired. I'm sorry."

His head jerks up quickly, eyes narrowed when he looks at me, "What do you mean you're sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for Ana. I know you heard some of my conversation with Dr. Peters. You didn't cause the nightmares sweet girl. You didn't contribute to them at all. It's just me. It's ..." Shaking his head as he's thinking what to tell me, "It's just how my mind has always dealt with some traumatic events in my life. It's getting better. Last night could have been so much worse. They are getting better. And I won't have you apologizing for something that you can't control."

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose he continues, "I'm just glad that you were able to wake me. The good news is Dr. Peters is calling in a refill to the pharmacy here in the hospital so I will be able to pick it up before we leave."

When he opens his eyes again I see pain and lots of it before he closes himself off. I want so much to hold him and let him know that everything will be fine. But I don't know what the night terrors are about so I can't. I don't know if everything will be fine or not but I do hope to eventually be able to help him with this if I can.

"Gideon, promise me something?" I look at him and hope that he can see the sincerity in me. He just raises that eyebrow at me and I continue, "One day, not now but someday, you tell me what causes them? Why you have them?"

"Ana?" He pleads. "Please. I said last night maybe some day. I meant it. Maybe. I can't promise. I'll work on trying to let you in to that part of my life but I don't know how you'll react. Please."

Closing my eyes because I know how much it took for him to ask me not to push this. He is a man used to demanding things and controlling situations, just like Christian. But along the line somewhere he also learned to ASK too. Though I can tell that asking makes him uncomfortable.

I give him a hesitant smile, "Okay. So care to help me to the rest room Mr. Cross?"

He laughs that wonderfully loud booming laugh of his that I love so much and shakes his head as he stands and moves to the bed to help me. Tension effectively broken. After brushing my teeth and using the restroom and quickly washing up I open the bathroom door to find Sawyer with bags of food but no Gideon.

"Good morning, Ana. Pancakes and sausage." He says with a smirk as he walks over to me and gently picks me up causing me to squeal a bit. I so didn't expect that!

"Luke Sawyer what are you doing?!" I huff at him as he sets me down on the bed.

He chuckles a bit, "Making sure you are safe Ma'am. No falling down on my watch." As he pointedly looks at my cast.

"Not funny!" I pout crossing my arms over my chest. "Where's Gideon?"

Sawyer's eyes darken and anger appears in his green eyes and answers with, "I understand Sullivan was asleep on the job last night?"

My eyes got big and wide when I realized the implication of that simple statement. Gideon was firing the man. Seriously, it was way too early in the morning for this.

Just as I'm about to respond Gideon comes gliding into the room and thanks Sawyer for early morning thoughtfulness at getting breakfast. I shot Sawyer a glance and he smirked back at me before leaving the room.

"You didn't call him?" I asked Gideon.

"Nope. He showed up on time and bearing breakfast and coffee." He tells me as he takes a seat next to me and opens thermos and pours hot water into a mug and sits a bag of tea next to it in front of me.

I give him my biggest smile as I dunk my tea bag and quickly fish it back out before I start enjoying my breakfast.

"Ana, I have something to ask you."

I raise my eyebrows and look at him over my mug as I sip the hot liquid indicating that he can ask.

"I have to go to Italy."

I have to set my tea down, if I don't I think I'll spill it all over myself. My hands are shaking. I don't want him to leave. I know that's selfish but I want him here.

"I own Yacht company on the Amalfi coast that I need to go check in on. I haven't been in a while and need to make an appearance. I was planning on leaving next Monday but I can go early. I want you to come with me."


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter 54**

**A/N: I haven't had much time to write the past few of days. Working two jobs and balancing being a single parent sometimes takes away from the luxury of having the time to just sit and write. Then yesterday as I sat down to start I find that Miss Angie gave us a new chapter for The Reluctant Parent, then real life drama with my kid required a trip to get Starbucks for a calming caramel macchiato and then when I got back I was pleasantly surprised with a bonus chapter of Paging Dr. Steele from BronzeGoddess! I had to stop and read just because I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on this knowing two of my favorites were in my inbox waiting patiently for me to open them and read... Then tonight, I'm sad to say that Candy Crush has gotten the better of me. I have been stuck on the same level for days now! Thankfully, I got past it tonight and ... well, I sat and finished up this filler chapter. So thank you all for your patience. **

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! If I missed responding to your reviews of the last chapter, I'm really sorry and want to thank you now! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

I think that I am in a state of shock right now. When Gideon said that he wanted to ask me something then said that he was going to Italy all I could think was that I needed him to stay with me. I didn't think that he would ask me to go with him! I know my eyes are wide and my mouth is wide open. I don't have much time to think at all let alone respond before I hear Kate.

"Well Steele, are you going to answer the man?"

Both Gideon and I look over and see Kate standing in the doorway. She looks like she's heading into work. She's were a beautiful grey linen pencil skirt with matching jacket and a pink satin tank, pink opals for her jewelry, grey patent leather heels and a pink patent Valentino bag. I smile a bit at the memory of her finding that bag in Bergdorf's when we were in New York. She beelined right to it and was bouncing in her heels when she was telling me every outfit she could wear it with.

Gideon got up to greet her and took an overnight bag from her, "Kate. Thank you."

She looked at him for a moment, "no thanks necessary." Walking over to me, she continued, "There's fresh clothes in the bag for you," she tells me and continues to give her two cents on the matter of Gideon's proposal, "Well, if you want my opinion Steele, I think you should go. You need a break and it'll do you some good. Now, how are you feeling?"

I notice Gideon's smirk as he sets the overnight bag on the couch and then he motions that he's leaving. He must have seen the flash of concern in my eyes because he said, "I'll give you two a few minutes. I have a few calls I need to make," and left the room closing the door behind him.

Kate took a seat in the chair Gideon had just vacated and just looked at me with her eyebrow quirked expectantly. I know what she wants but how the hell am I supposed to just up and leave. I have a job, that at this point, I desperately need.

"Kate, I have a job, that at this point, I desperately need. I can't just up and leave. Besides that, I also have a follow-up with the ortho tomorrow for a re-evaluation on my ankle. Hopefully, I can get put in an air cast instead of this horrible plaster cast."

"Those are excuses, Steele and you know it. You collapsed at work. They wouldn't think anything about you taking some time away from the office. You read for a living, sheesh. You can take a couple of manuscripts with you if you're worried about getting behind. And you know that Ethan and I, and Gideon" giving me a knowing look, "will make sure that you have everything that you need for my little niece or nephew."

I look up at her surprised at that last statement and she follows up with, "you know you're the sister that I always wanted. Ethan thinks the same thing. That baby is going to be loved beyond any measure. You have support Steele. Now the only thing we ask is that you take care of the both of you and get some rest. And what better way to do that than to enjoy a nice vacation in one of the most serenely beautiful places in the world?"

I realize that it would be an amazing trip. But my mind goes to Christian and how much I would have loved to take a trip like this with him. Closing my eyes to block out the images of Christian and I playing in the warm waters of the Mediterranean. Knowing that it will never happen and I have to move past this feeling of connection that I have to him. This pull the we have.

Opening my eyes I see Kate still looking at me but this time she just looks concerned. Moving to the edge of her seat and taking one of my hands she says, "He's not Christian. He's better. HE cares. I think more than either of you realize. You can see it in his eyes, Ana. I'd venture to say that he's falling in love with you. Both of you. Actions speak louder than words. Christian's actions and words speak volumes about just how negatively he views the situation between you. Gideon's however... Well, sweetheart, he's the one that's here after being across the country, now isn't he. Christian can't even be here and he lives in the same city."

She's looking at me with that _you can't be seriously thinking that_ look. I know she's right. What I've been doing with Gideon, putting him off. Asking for time hasn't been fair to him. Christian has made his views crystal clear. It's time I moved on.

Giving my best friend a small smile I sheepishly ask, "I need my phone, Kate. Would you mind getting it from my purse. I need to call the ortho's office and see if we can reschedule my appointment for today. Hopefully I can see him right after I get discharged and then I can go and pack for my trip."

She squeals and jumps up to give me a hug before grabbing my purse for me. As she hands it to me she says that she has to run as she's going to be late to work and that I better not leave before she can help me pack. She takes the overnight bag on the foot of the bed so that I can get dressed.

As Kate's leaving a nurse enters with a bag and some sort of tape asking if I would like to shower. I want to scream God Yes! But just give her a smile and a yes please. She comes over and wraps the cast in the plastic and tapes it securely then helps me to the shower. Before leaving me to it she tells me the doctor will be by shortly to see me. I smile again and thank her for her help

Letting the water wash yesterday's events from my mind and concentrate on thinking of things that I'll need to pack to bring with me on this trip I realize that I need to call the office. With my promotion so new I'm worried what I will be told about the request for time off. I also need to speak with Gideon to know when I'll be back so that can give them a definitive answer when they ask. But Kate is right. I should be able to do most of the work while on the trip.

Getting out of the shower and drying off before removing the bag over my cast as the nurse instructed, I hop back out into the room and to the bed. Kate packed a grey animal print wrap dress, black flats, matching black lace panty and bra along with matching jewelry. Simple. Nothing over the top and everything easy to put on with this huge thing on my leg.

I have my back to the door of the room when I stand to put the dress on. Like I said, easy wrap around when I hear someone clear his throat. Smiling as I tie the wrap and turn around I see Gideon standing in the doorway. Goodness he looks absolutely amazing.

"You look lovely, sweet girl."

Blushing because I'm not sure how long he's been standing there. "Thank you."

He doesn't move as I reach for my purse. It's still where Kate set it before she left and the nurse came in. I dig through it and find my phone. Scrolling through it to find the phone number to the orthopedist's number. Finding it and pushing the call button, I turn and watch Gideon. He hasn't moved. He's watching me with curiosity.

"Yes, this is Anastasia Steele. I have an appointment tomorrow...I was wondering if I could reschedule?... is it possible to be seen today?...Oh he is?...Well actually I am at the hospital now...He can?! That's great...11 am...His office here is where?...ok got it...Thank you so much!"

I disconnect the call. I have a huge smile on my face. Gideon just looks completely perplexed at the entire thing.

"What was that about?"

"Well I had a follow-up appointment with the orthopedist scheduled for tomorrow. I needed to reschedule it. Luckily, Dr. Sanders has an office here in the hospital as well and can fit me in today instead."

Gideon's beautiful blue eyes darken just a bit at my statement but he's got the biggest smirk on his face. He knows what my answer to him will be.

"And you rescheduled it why?" He asks teasingly with his eyebrow raised.

I smirk at him because I know he's trying to tease me. "Because I want to see if he will take this stupid cast off and put me in an air cast so that I can enjoy our trip more."

His face breaks out into the most beautiful smile I have ever seen from him. Striding over to me, he picks me up in an embrace. I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him as close as he's holding me. He tilts is head just enough to give me a very passionate kiss.

After a minute or two we hear another clearing of the throat behind us. Gideon sets me down gently so that I don't jar my foot and we both turn to see who had just entered the room.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter 55**

**A/N: It's relatively short but I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think of this one! I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Welcome to all my new followers and reviewers! **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**GPOV**

Ana and I turned around to see who came into the room. I think we were both expecting the doctor. I can feel her tense beside me and pull her a little closer to my body looking down at her. She has this expression of stunned surprise. Obviously she knows who this is, and I have to admit that he looks familiar but I can't place where I've seen him before

She glances up to me and gives me a small reassuring smile. Why the hell would I need a reassuring smile? Who the fuck is this man? Then Sawyer, who was standing in front of him introduces him and my head jerks up looking between the this man and my sweet girl in utter surprise. Why is he here?

* * *

**APOV**

To say that I am surprised that he's here is an understatement. Gideon must have felt me tense a bit when I saw him because he pulled me closer, protectively, tucking me under his arm whenever he feels me tense up at something. I look up at him and give him a small smile, trying to let him know that everything is ok. That this man won't pose me a threat.

After Sawyer announces him, he steps forward and tries to give me a hug but Gideon is not letting me go. I step out of his arms and give him a quick hug, "Ana, you look lovely dear. Mr. Cross its nice to finally meet you. I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to introduce myself at the Gala a few weeks ago."

Gideon's eyebrows draw together but he quickly reverts back to his CEO persona. Offering his hand, "It was a beautiful event. I was lucky this beautiful woman agreed to go with me." He said that as he steps closer to me.

"Yes, well.." clearing his throat, "Ana I was wondering if we could chat for a few minutes?"

Gideon is clearly upset at this. I don't think that he expected it but I did. Maybe not today but eventually. I didn't really want to have this conversation so soon and I would rather not have it with Gideon here. I need get him to leave for a little bit.

The three of us are standing in awkward silence before I look up at Gideon and quietly ask, "Have you been to the pharmacy yet?"

He shakes his head negatively and so I push forward. He doesn't need to be here just now and I know that things that need to be said won't be if he is. Again, I direct my question to him quietly, just for his ears alone, "Maybe you could check down there about your medication?"

His eyes flash hurt then narrow in anger. Too bad. He really needs to let me handle this. I am not in any danger but if I want a private conversation I'll need to appease his sense of protection. "Sawyer is right out the door. I'm fine. Go check please, that way when Grace gets here to check me over, I can get up to Dr. Sanders' office and then leave. ok?"

I know that he's trying his damnedest to control himself and I have to applaud that but I will not have him controlling me and my decisions. He all but growls his reply, "Ana."

"Gideon? Stress?" I put my hand on my belly, and yes I know that I'm using my little nugget, my free pass, to get him to understand but I am not explaining this to him just now. He will have to trust that I know whom to stay away from.

His eyes dart to where I laid my hand and soften exponentially. Turning to me, putting himself directly in front of me and blocking me from view of anyone else in the room he covers my hand, "Stress?"

I nod at him in reply. He looks wounded but closes his eyes and whispers, "you'll be ok here? You promise?"

Taking my other hand and reaching up to cup his cheek, he opens his eyes to look at me. I look him in the eye, "Yes, we'll be just fine. Hurry back ok?"

He takes a deep breath and then kisses me in the middle of my forehead, "I won't be gone long." Then turns and walks out the door but I can hear him tell Sawyer that he isn't to leave his spot outside the door for any reason.

"I'm sorry about that, Mr. Grey. Gideon, well...he's become a bit protective."

"Please, Ana. It's Carrick." He says as his eyes goes to to where my hand is still placed on my belly, right over nugget and soften. With a sad smile, "I'm glad he is. Someone should be."

Ok, wow. I didn't expect that. I know I told Grace that I wouldn't keep her or Carrick away from the baby but I didn't expect Carrick to be one my side, per se. I guess I still expected him to support Christian somehow.

"Would you like to have a seat?" Motioning to the couch as I take the chair beside the bed. "What did you need to speak with me about Carrick?"

"I ... well... I wanted to discuss the child, Ana?"

He's stammering? This can't be good. My eyes harden and my voice is cold when I answer, "What about my baby?"

He can obviously hear venom in my voice and he puts his hands up quickly, "No. You misunderstand. I want to offer my services to you?"

Surprised, "You what?"

"I want to offer my legal services to you. Hear me out please." He's looking at me and can see the shock in my face as he continues, "I've spoke to Grace about what happened yesterday and I've spoken with Christian. I don't agree with how he's handling this situation. He seemed to listen to what I had to say but whether or not he actually _HEARD _what I had to say is another matter. Christian is my son, and I love him but well..."

I giggle when I realize Carrick is trying to find the right words to explain his youngest son. I decide to help him, "but he's Christian?"

He looks at me and I see nothing but sadness filling his blue eyes. He closes his eyes and nods once, "Yes. He's Christian. Anyway, he has a full legal team behind him the best of the best. But you my dear," giving me a wistful smile, "have me. Not only am I the number one domestic law attorney in the state but I am also that baby's grandfather," nodding his head towards my stomach. "Basically that means that I will do everything in my power to make sure that you and my grandchild are protected. Even if that protection is needed from my own son. You will get everything that you and my grandchild are entitled to. I'll make sure of that, if you'll allow me."

What? Huh? Wow? Speechless. Yep. The English Lit major has no words right now. I can't believe that he wants to do this. That he wants to go up against his son, one of the most powerful men in the country and he wants to take him on.

"Wait. Isn't that a conflict of interest? You representing me?" I ask him with a quizzical look.

"No. I have never represented Christian in any business related matters. He doesn't use my firm for anything, preferring to keep family and work separate. I, however, believe that family should be there for each other. I don't take on client's that I don't believe Ana. If I can't trust my client then there is no reason for me to represent them. Besides, it'll make Christian aware of where our, Grace and my, support lies in regards to this."

"Carrick, you understand that I don't want anything from Christian, right? I would like nothing more than for him to accept this baby but if he doesn't we'll be okay? The baby and I?"

"I realize that you don't want his money. I never thought that was the type of person you were. You made him happy. He was allowing himself to open up when he was with you. I don't know what happened that caused you two to break up, nor is it my business. But you are the reason that his mother, my Gracie, got the first hug from her youngest son ever. For that reason alone I would offer this but," giving me a small smile, "that's my grandchild. Besides, you also need to be aware of where Grace and I stand. We, both of us, will be here for you whenever you need us."

He's proving a point. He's making sure that I'm aware just how much he and Grace support me and this is how he will prove the point to Christian. He doesn't believe that the "talk" that he had with Christian was taken seriously or given any weight evidently. But I don't want to cause animosity within their family.

"Carrick, right now I don't know that I need an attorney. Give me some time to process all that you've said. Gideon and I are leaving for a short vacation, he's calling it stress relief," I say with a little giggle, "let me think about everything and we'll talk about this when I get back, okay?"

He nods at me and stands. Walking over to me and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek he agrees and thanks me for listening to what he had to say. Just as he's heading to the door it opens. _What the hell. Does no one knock on a closed door anymore?_


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter 56**

**A/N: This one is very short but I hope to have another up for you sometime tomorrow. Working on it and we'll see. Crossing my fingers that I can get it done by then but if not definitely by Wednesday!  
**

**Please review and let me know what you think of this one! I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Welcolm to all my new favs, followers and reviewers! **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

As irritating as it was that everyone seems to just walk right in to my room I understand that this is a hospital and you only get so much privacy. As Carrick was leaving it was Grace that showed up. Thankfully. Though, she did seem a bit surprised to see Carrick. I guess he didn't speak with her about offering his legal services to me. What other explanation could there be?

I was so ready to get examined so that I could get discharged. After Grace read my chart from the night nurse's notes and took my blood pressure again she went ahead and gave me the all clear to leave the hospital but told me in no uncertain terms that I am to avoid any type of stress, anything that could potentially elevate my blood pressure and that if I felt any symptoms or started spotting I am to report back to either my OB or to the hospital. I agreed readily and then informed her that I would be leaving for a short vacation so that I could step away from the stress inducing factors in my life and do some thinking on what I need and want for mine and nugget's future.

She agreed that a vacation would be a good idea. But there was a sadness in her eyes that I couldn't decipher until she opened her mouth. She told me that she had spoken to Elliot about his behavior towards me. Explaining that he had told her that there were some things in Christian's past, though he didn't tell her what, that he should have been able to protect him from and didn't. So the reason that he was treating me in the horrible manner he had been was his way of protecting Christian. _Twisted reasoning, to me, but she seemed to buy it. _

Anger flared in me at that comment but I let her continue. She went on to tell me that Carrick had a conversation with Christian about the baby as well. _What the fuck? Did these two have a fucking intervention with their children? _And that hopefully Christian would come around to being a father. That she and Carrick both know that Christian loves me and asked that I remember that while I'm considering what my future holds and not to do anything rash. To give them both time to come around to the idea of being a father and an uncle.

I couldn't believe she was asking me this. No asking isn't the right word, more like telling. It was almost as if she was warning me that moving on and away from Christian would have devastating effects. Though I understand where she is coming from, she wants to protect her son and she wants to see the good in him, I don't agree anymore. Christian has made it abundantly clear just how negatively he regards being a parent and as far as a relationship? A working normal healthy relationship where each person thrives, well Christian doesn't know how to even begin working on one of those and if he does then I feel am no longer the person for him to try to do that with. He's hurt me too much, I can forgive him but I don't know that I'll ever be able to forget everything that he's done to me. The stalker tendencies, the control, the dominance, I almost think that he would have taken my free will if I had let him. I agree he deserves to be happy but I can't do that for him. We proved that the last time we were together. When I asked him to show me just how bad things could get. When I asked him to show me. He did. I couldn't and still can't allow him to do that to me.

Before I could say anything to her though, there was a light knock on the door and Gideon came in. When he saw Grace sitting next to me I saw the flash of concern in his alluring blue eyes. I smiled at him and said we had the all clear and Grace stood and said that she would get the discharge papers done so that I could go. Giving me a quick kiss on the cheek and telling me to remember what we spoke about she left the room and I suddenly felt like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. I hope one day that I won't feel like the fate of her family rests on me but since she had brought up everything that's exactly what it felt like.

Gideon seemed to relax a bit more when Grace came back with the paperwork for my release and asked Sawyer to get a wheelchair. He did not want me crossing the hospital to the ortho's office on crutches when he could just wheel me over. I shook my head and told him that the exercise would do me some good but he was adamant that we would get there quicker if I would allow him to push me instead and as it was already 10:45 am that we didn't have any time for my meandering. I giggled at his logic, he was right of course, but meandering, really? Who uses that word!

As we were leaving the room he gave both our overnight bags to Sawyer and told him to bring the car to the front entrance of the hospital in thirty minutes and wait for us there. He pushed me up to Dr. Sanders' office in the 7th floor and we were taken right in. I explained that I was here for a follow-up from the accident and asked if it would be possible to have a walking air cast put on and the hard cast removed. He said that normally he would want to wait at least another week or so before doing that but since I would be out of the country he would order an MRI of my ankle to see how well it was healing before giving me an answer. It took a little while for the MRI to come back but when it did thankfully Dr. Sanders said that he saw no reason I couldn't have the walking cast. He did give me a choice between black or white and grey. I chose the black figuring that white and grey would get dirty way too easily.

After removing the hard cast and inspecting my ankle visually he wrapped my ankle then put it in the air cast showing me how to adjust the air as needed. I did have to say that just putting it on hurt a good bit but knowing that I could take it off to shower or bath was a wonderful feeling and so totally worth the irritation of putting it on. I was given instructions to see a physical therapist to work on strengthening my ankle in a week and that the cast could be taken off while I was on vacation as long as I don't put weight on it without the cast being on and absolutely no swimming as it moves the ankle too much. I could deal with all the conditions and left the Dr. Sanders office happier than I had been since finding out about the conference in New York.

Gideon of course worried that I would overdo walking and made sure that the crutches were still with us when we left and that I was seated in the wheelchair. He wheeled me down to the front lobby of the hospital and after I practically begged he helped me to my feet allowing me to use him to steady myself so that I could walk out of the hospital and into the waiting Bentley SUV Sawyer was still patiently sitting in at the front.

Gideon was picking on me about basically hopping my way to the door because I was worried about putting too much pressure on my ankle, even in the boot. I really hope that he doesn't continue with calling me 'hop along'. But when he says it I can see the mirth in his eyes. He's being playful and caring at the same time and my heart swells that much more. I'm giggling at him as we got to the front doors of the hospital when I look up and see Christian exiting his Audi and heading into the hospital. He looks up from his blackberry after a moment and we both freeze, staring at each other.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter 57**

**A/N: It's another short one, I hope you like it. Warning a glass of wine may be needed while reading. I indulged while writing...lol...Please review and let me know what you think of this one! I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**There are a lot of new followers and favorites this time, I want to give ya'll all a big welcolme and a Thank you to all the reviewers, new and continuing! Ya'll all help keep me motivated to continue. **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters, that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

We stand there staring at each other. I notice that he looks a bit disheveled. He's wearing black jeans, a grey v neck tee and a black leather jacket but he looks like he slept in his clothes and he hasn't shaved. It's odd to see his appearance so ... disorderly and unkempt.

I think about my morning speaking with Carrick and remember that both he and Grace said that Carrick had words with Christian last night about the baby. I remember Carrick's hope that Christian had actually heard what he had said to him. Maybe that conversation is why he looks the way he does now.

Christian looks me up, head to toe, stopping for a moment at my belly. But then he seems to realize that Gideon is standing next to me and I am leaning heavily on him as I'm trying to avoid putting complete pressure on my ankle. His eyes darken with anger as he walks over to me and stopping about five feet away.

"Ana, I was hoping to catch you before you were released. I think we need to talk." His voice is hard and is giving nothing away.

Gideon's free hand covers mine that is on his arm. It's a comforting gesture for me but I see the anger grow in Christian. I'm shocked that Christian seems to want to talk already. I can honestly say that I wasn't expecting this, especially not today. I wonder if it will be the same, 'I want you but not the baby' talk that he has kept reiterating it over and over ever since we found out I was pregnant. I know I look like a deer in the headlights as I continue to stare at him trying to formulate what I want to say.

Gideon mistook my silence though and quietly but menacingly states, "I hardly think this is the time or the place for you to demand time to talk Grey."

Christian turns his ice cold steely grey gaze on Gideon, "I don't see how this is any of your business Cross."

"Anything that causes Ana to end up in the hospital and causing me to fly across the country because she needs me fucking concerns me Grey."

"No one asked you to fly out here. She would have been fine. My mother is one of the best doctors in the state and she was in her care."

"You don't fucking know that. Ana shouldn't have been in her care if the first place you fucking imbecile! Don't you think you've done enough already Grey. She's just been released from the hospital because of stress YOU caused. Want to add more to her fucking plate already?"

Gideon had stepped away from me, taking the crutches with him. Thankfully Sawyer, who was standing by the door of the Bentley, came forward quickly to make sure that I was still stable on my feet. I give him a slight smile and he gives a slight nod before turning his attention back to the two men standing face to face with each other. I look over and see Taylor is now standing not three feet from both men, watching the situation, making sure that it doesn't escalate beyond words.

I shake my head at both men. I won't be caught in the middle of this shit. I've already been admitted to the hospital once because of my stress levels and blood pressure. I look up at Sawyer and quietly ask him to help me into the car. He nods once and walks with me slowly to the waiting car. I climb in and rest my head on the back of the seat. Sawyer has closed the door and turning see he is about the same distance behind Gideon as Taylor is from Christian.

I can't be around those two men when they start in on each other. I didn't hear what Christian had to say to Gideon's last comment nor did I care to. That whole fiasco is just upsetting and I am not going to deal with it. Gently resting my hand on my belly I close my eyes and begin humming softly to my little nugget, but it really has more of a calming effect on me as well.

* * *

**GPOV**

I can't believe this asshole came here to ambush Ana again! What the fuck is wrong with him. Just because he doesn't want his child doesn't mean that Ana doesn't want it. Is he trying to cause her to miscarry? Fuck.

She's shocked he's here. You can see it in her face. And when he asked to speak with her she doesn't say anything but just continues to look at him with this lost expression; like she doesn't know what to say to him. That's fine. I've promised her over and over that I will protect her and I have every intention of keeping that promise, even if I have to protect her from the father of her child.

"I hardly think this is the time or the place for you to demand time to talk Grey." I warn him quietly.

He finally acknowledges my presence with his cold eyes, "I don't see how this is any of your business Cross."

If he only knew. I love this woman. She may not be ready for a relationship with me just yet but I am trying everything in my power to prove that I deserve her.

"Anything that causes Ana to end up in the hospital and causing me to fly across the country because she needs me fucking concerns me Grey." I spit at him. _Yeah asshole, I know that you caused this._

I register shock in his face at my statement. He's raising his voice now trying to prove a point, "No one asked you to fly out here. She would have been fine. My mother is one of the best doctors in the state and she was in her care."

I can't believe that he thinks that just because his mother is a doctor that what he did yesterday is okay. Did he not even think of the ramifications of meddling in Ana's career? Probably not, this asshole only thinks of himself.

I step away from Ana, closer to Grey and just as loudly yell at him, "You don't fucking know that. Ana shouldn't have been in her care if the first place you fucking imbecile! Don't you think you've done enough already Grey. She's just been released from the hospital because of stress YOU caused. Want to add more to her fucking plate already?"

We are now basically nose to nose as he took a step closer to me. I am a bit taller but it's just the same. His fists are clenched and I know he's barely keeping it together. _Go ahead Grey, swing, I would love a reason to fucking lay your sorry pathetic ass out!_

"You don't know a fucking thing about us or our relationship Cross. Butt the fuck out already! What you can't get your own woman you have to steal someone else's? Someone else's family? SHE is MINE just like that baby is MINE! You'll do well to remember that," he sneers at me.

His comment made me laugh, "Oh really? You who she walked away from. You who refused, until this very moment, to have anything to do with her child. You think she is yours? I didn't have to steal her Grey. She is with me willingly, she wants me around. And as long as she wants me to be, I will be the one there with her and HER child!"

I see his bodyguard grab his arm just as he is about to swing at me. I haven't moved. I want him to. I want him to take the first swing because nothing would make me happier than beating his ass.

I feel a touch on my shoulder and turn my head ever so slightly. My eyes never leaving Grey. Sawyer is in my ear telling me that he helped Ana into the car and that she is resting in the backseat and reminds me this little escapade in front of the hospital is added stress she doesn't need. _Fuck!_ He's right. I shake my head at myself. I let myself get drawn in to a fucking pissing contest with this asshole and Ana is by herself again. _Fuck!_

I turn to the car and as I open the door I hear Grey call out, "Where the fuck do you think you're going? We aren't done here."

I laugh as I turn and look him in the eye, my hand on the door of the car. "On vacation and yes, we are done."

I couldn't help the look of triumph on my face at his expression as I opened the door to the Bentley and slid in next to Ana. She is resting with her head back on the seat quietly humming to herself with her hand resting on her abdomen. I lay my hand over hers and quietly say, "I'm sorry. You deserve better than that."

She turns her head to me, opening her crystal blue eyes for a moment, to look at me before she closes her eyes again. When she finally answers me it's like I've been punched in the gut cause all the air in my body to escape.

"Yes I do Gideon. We'll talk when we get to my apartment until then I would just like a little quiet please."

All I can say is, "okay."


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter 58**

**A/N: I hope ya'll like this one! I'm working 16+ hours tomorrow. I don't think that I'll be able to get anything up but I'll try. No promises it will depend on how worn out I will be. Please review and let me know what you think of this one! I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Welcome to all my new favs, followers and reviewers! **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**CPOV**

After leaving my parents home still in shock from the conversation that I had with my father about BEING a father all I want to do is get home to Escala and relax. But the only thing running through my head is what my father said about a child being blood and legacies.

I will now have a connection that none of the rest of my family has. I will have a biological blood relation. My child, my legacy. I always believed that GEH would be a legacy; I never thought that bringing a child into this world could somehow be better than that.

I was shocked about what my parents went through trying to have children. What my mother, my saving Grace, my angel in a white coat had been put through before they decided that adoption was their only answer. I never realized just how badly my parents wanted children. Though I guess I should have had some sort of vague idea, after all I wasn't the easiest child, even from day one. I was even more horrified to hear that my parents' marriage almost crumbled because my mother couldn't carry to full term.

I'm climb into bed and the same message keeps going around in my head. My parents want a relationship with a child that I don't want. Will they push me aside to do so? I know that I am not there for my family as much as they would like me to be but again I just find it hard to be with them. Another remnant of my fucked up formative years.

I just lay in bed tossing and turning, never being able to get comfortable when I finally get up and go into Ana's room. I know its been weeks but I swear I can still catch a faint hint of her in here. Sitting down on the bed I bury my head in my hands and can't believe what I let happen between us. I can't believe that I hurt her so badly that she doesn't want anything to do with me. Between the belt and the baby and fucking Gideon Cross I may never get the love of my life back. And for once I have to realize that it's my fault. This entire messy fucked up situation is completely my fault.

My behavior, my temper, my need to control and dominate everyone and everything in my life has destroyed what small chance I had at a life with love. I told her that it was wrong to love me. Maybe it is, maybe it would have saved her the heartache that she was dealing with that made her susceptible to Cross.

I don't know what she sees in him anyway. Yes he's successful but that's never been anything that she has worried about. He's also dangerous. He damn near killed a man with his bare fucking hands! If it hadn't been for me dragging him off that poor son of a bitch then Cross wouldn't be where he is today; he'd be in fucking jail.

Hell I saved his ass and yet the animosity that has always been between us is still there. He treated Corrine badly when they were together. Blowing her off, making excuses about shit, lying to her constantly. That's why she was out that night, running; trying to clear her head and figure out what to do with her failing engagement to one Mr. Cross when she was attacked. Almost two months and three surgeries later she was released from the hospital.

I wake to the morning light and realize that I am still in Ana's room. The sub room. I close my eyes thinking that I should have known better than to ever think that she could have been a submissive. I go to my bathroom and shower, getting ready for the day before heading down to get breakfast.

Just as I am sitting down to eat my cell vibrates. Great. It's Elliot. I still don't know what to do with him. I am still in disbelief that my fun carefree and loving big brother has turned so quickly on Ana and has been so openly hostile to her.

Answering the phone, "Elliot."

"Good morning to you too little bro."

"What do you want Elliot?" I can't hold back the malice in my voice. I'm pissed and he should know it.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry Christian. I shouldn't have spoken about Ana that way in front of you."

He sounds remorseful but it's more a regret that he got caught doing something not for actually doing it.

"You shouldn't speak like that about her period Elliot. In front of me or not. I don't want or need a half ass apology Elliot. But just don't ever let me find out that it has continued."

"It won't. I am sorry Christian."

"Maybe you should say that to Ana? I've got a meeting to get to. Talk to you later." And with that I disconnect the call. I meant what I said. I don't want to hear bull shit, I want the truth not some shit that he's cooked up because our mother decided to have a word of prayer with him about his attitude.

I decide that I will work from home this morning. I have a morning meeting but can just teleconference into it. I don't actually have to be present as long as I can hear what is happening everything should be fine. Just as I am about to conference in to the office I got a phone call from my mom around 9:30 am saying that she would be in shortly to check Ana and if everything with her blood pressure was good that she would be getting released late this morning. That means that I need to figure out how the hell I'm going to get to see her with fucking Sawyer and by now Cross around _**and **_I need to figure out what the fuck I'm going to say to her when I do.

I quickly send a text to Taylor telling him to have the car pulled around to the front as soon as the meeting is over, which should be sometime around 11 am. I get a quick response back acknowledging my command just as I am dialing in for the meeting.

The meeting ran about 15 minutes long, mostly because I couldn't focus on what the hell was going on and had to ask my VP of Public relations to repeat a few questions that he had asked. Thankfully my input is somewhat negligible as it was just a weekly run through from the marketing and PR departments. My mind kept going to Anastasia and the baby. I am still having a hard time accepting she's pregnant. But the more I think of my father's words to me the more I want to have that connection, that biological bond. And actually who better to give me that than the one person that accepted me and my fucked up shit from the moment we met. The light of my life, the one person that I have allowed my walls to crumble to. Anastasia.

Once the meeting was over I rushed to the elevator and took it straight to the lobby and headed out. Knowing that Taylor would be at the front waiting. Climbing in the car I tell him that we are headed to the hospital. He acknowledges my request however in the rear view mirror, I see a flicker of something cross his face before he is able to disguise it. It seems to take forever to reach the hospital. Early afternoon traffic being heavier than normal. Once we pull up to the front entrance, I don't wait for Taylor to open the door but climb out of the SUV and stop dead in my tracks.

She's walking out leaning heavily on Cross. She stops when she spots me, causing him to stop and look up. The look on his face is complete surprise. Well he can go fuck himself. Miss Steele and I have some rather important things to discuss. I look her over and she looks amazing. More than amazing. She is more beautiful each time I see her. I notice that she had the plaster cast removed and one of fiberglass is strapped on her foot now allowing her to walk without the crutches. But what I focus on is her stomach. She is 8 weeks pregnant and you would think that she would be showing more but in the dress that she's in she doesn't look to be showing at all.

Walking over to them but stopping just out of reach, so that I don't lose control and beat Cross for having his hands on my woman I tell her that I was hoping to talk to her before she was released.

She's looking at me but its like she can't find words to actually speak. I don't know how she feels about yesterday's events. Yes, she was pissed about me buying the company she works for and changing her itinerary to the conference but she's had time to cool off and maybe we can have an actual real conversation. Well that was my thought before Cross opened his mouth to answer for her.

"I hardly think this is the time or the place for you to demand time to talk Grey."

I lift my head and look directly at him for the first time since seeing them both walking out of the hospital. Giving him the same look that I give any business rival, "I don't see how this is any of your business Cross."

"Anything that causes Ana to end up in the hospital and causing me to fly across the country because she needs me fucking concerns me Grey."

What the fuck! She isn't his responsibility. She is mine. He didn't have to fly out here like some white knight on a fucking pony to save her. She would have been just fine. I try to reign in my temper when I address him.

"No one asked you to fly out here. She would have been fine. My mother is one of the best doctors in the state and she was in her care."

He steps away from Ana to come closer to me and I can tell he's having the same temper control issue I am when his voice raises, "You don't fucking know that. Ana shouldn't have been in her care if the first place you fucking imbecile! Don't you think you've done enough already Grey. She's just been released from the hospital because of stress YOU caused. Want to add more to her fucking plate already?"

Did he just call me an imbecile?! What the fuck!? It is taking all that I have not to swing but Ana is right behind him and I won't do that. I will control myself. I will control myself. I keep chanting in my head but I know that my fists are clenched and I am barely hanging on. _Ana's right here, I will control myself. _It seems to help enough that I answer him instead of full out getting into a fight in front of the hospital.

"You don't know a fucking thing about us or our relationship Cross. Butt the fuck out already! What you can't get your own woman you have to steal someone else's? Someone else's family? SHE is MINE just like that baby is MINE! You'll do well to remember that."

He laughs before answering me and that just pisses me off more, "Oh really? You who she walked away from. You who refused, until this very moment, to have anything to do with her child. You think she is yours? I didn't have to steal her Grey. She is with me willingly, she wants me around. And as long as she wants me to be, I will be the one there with her and HER child!"

That's it. I don't care if Ana is standing right there. He is not going to steal my family from me and think that he can get away with it. Just as I lift my arm to swing I feel Taylor grab my arm keeping me from connecting with Cross' face. I notice Sawyer whispering in Cross's ear before he shakes his head and turns towards the car.

What the fuck? Anastasia was standing right there not five minutes ago. Where... Fuck she's in the car. But I still need to finish this with Cross. He can't have what's mine. I call out to him, "Where the fuck do you think you're going? We aren't done here."

He laughs again and with a sick superior smile before opening the car door says, "On vacation and yes, we are done."

What the fuck does that mean? On vacation? Where the fuck is he going? Is he taking Ana? Is she leaving and going with him? Fuck! This can't be happening. I pull my blackberry out and call Welch. I need to know where he is going, especially if Ana is going with him. I tell Welch that I to know if Cross Industries has a jet at Sea-Tac and if so I want a copy of the flight plan asap. He tells me he'll have the information within the hour.

Climbing back into the SUV I tell Taylor to take me to Miss Steele's apartment. He gives me a questioning look not bothering to hide it but starts to drive. I've been sitting outside her apartment building for the last half hour when my email pings with a message from Welch. Opening the email I see that Cross' plane is at Sea-Tac and the flight plan says he's flying to Teterboro at 4 pm. So its not a vacation but he's leaving and going back to New York today.

Well that's encouraging news. I decide that instead of going up and causing a scene in Ana's apartment now, I can wait until he's left so not to add any more stress on her. I'm not a patient man by any means. I don't wait for anything. But I have done nothing but wait for Anastasia since the first time she fell into my office, so one more day won't matter. I tell Taylor to take me home and call Andrea and tell her to clear my schedule for tomorrow. I want to have plenty of time to speak with my girl without worrying about interruptions or work.


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter 59**

**A/N: I hope ya'll like this one! Please review and let me know what you think of this one! I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Welcome to all my new favs, followers and reviewers! **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

After sitting in the car rubbing my still small belly and humming to myself and nugget I am calming down from the fiasco of Christian and Gideon eviscerate each other because of me. This is added stress that I don't need and I won't deal with. If those two men can't act like...well ... MEN instead of hormone driven teenagers then I will have to distance myself from both of them. Its a sobering thought, to be completely alone again, like I was before Christian but then I quickly realize for at least the next seven months, I'll never be completely alone. I'll have my little nugget. Keeping him or her safe and protected until they are ready to make an appearance in this world. That thought brings a serene smile to my face just as I hear the car door open.

Gideon slides in next to me and I hear Sawyer shift the car from park and we start moving. Gideon lies his hand on top of mine, still rubbing my belly and he contritely says, "I'm sorry. You deserve better than that.

He's right. All the effort that he has been putting in to making me feel better about myself and this situation that I find myself in has been an eye opener. I've realized that I do deserve better that what I have had. Christian's fucked up life overtook mine so quickly and effortlessly that I became less than a shadow of who I was and leaving him damn near destroyed me. Kate and her hair brained scheme to get me out of dodge while I was suffering at my own hand, _and Christian's_, allowed me to meet someone that has slowly and gently been helping me to rebuild myself and I feel like I am going to be a better version of what I once was. Stronger.

Turning my head to him and looking him in the eye, I feel disappointment. And that is one feeling that I have never had in relation to Gideon Cross and I don't ever want to feel it again. I put my head back on the headrest and close my eyes again before saying, "Yes I do Gideon. We'll talk when we get to my apartment until then I would just like a little quiet please."

He tried to remove his hand from mine over nugget but I just laid my other hand on top of his, not letting his move, basically making a hand sandwich with his hand layered between mine over my belly as he quietly responds understanding that I need time. But just because I am not looking at him does not mean that I did not hear the sharp intake of breath from him at my words. I don't want to hurt him but before this trip happens he needs to understand exactly what I need from him.

I already know what he needs from me. He needs an answer to the question that he asked me a few weeks ago. He has given me time and space as well as being there for me when I've needed him to be. I've bent on some things for him because he includes me and discusses things with me. I will continue to need him to do that. I need to have some control of my life. I will never be in another situation where someone else gets to control everything about me again. Not happening. In Christian's words: 'that's a hard limit'.

Before I know it we are at my apartment and Gideon is holding his hand waiting to help me from the car. Grasping his hand and allowing him to help me out I realize that my ankle is killing me and heeding the doctor's advice I turn and ask him if I can have the crutches so that I can take the weight off of my ankle. He smiles at me a moment before reaching around me to take them from Sawyer as he's standing right behind me with them. I giggle at these two big burly men that have come to be able read me so well. One because he cares deeply and the other because, well because he's just too damn observant for his own good. Well I guess that goes with the job description.

We amble up to the apartment and again I thank goodness that we had an elevator in the building. I don't think that I could make the stairs. Handing Gideon my keys so that he can open the door to the apartment I go in and straight to the kitchen asking him if he would like some tea. Thinking of the conversation that we will be having I think a nice hot cup of tea is warranted. Calming. Just what I need.

"I'll make it." He quietly tells me.

"Oh. Ok. When are we leaving?"

He looks at me surprised for a moment but his eyes, those deep cobalt eyes, give him away. I see pure joy in them. "You're still coming?"

"Of course, just because we need to discuss some things doesn't mean that I would change my mind. Unless of course, you have?" I ask him a bit timidly. Worrying that maybe he did change his mind. Maybe he rushed to ask me?

"No. No, I want you with me. We'll need to be at the airport by 3:30 pm. We'll land at Teterboro, have dinner before we leave again around 10 pm. It's about a seven and a half flight and with the time difference we should arrive around 2 pm in Salerno. Then we'll head to the hotel for a late lunch."

I know my eyes have gotten wide at how quickly he's arranged for this trip. I had thought that maybe we would leave tomorrow. I still have to pack and Kate wants to help with that. Shit...Kate.

"Ummm .. Gideon? Kate wanted to help me pack for the trip. If we're leaving that early then I need to get started on that after I call her and explain."

Finishing making my tea, I smile when I watch him dunk the bag quickly before removing it, he sets the mug in front of me. He gives me a concerned look, like there's something that he's not sharing with me and he's not sure how I'll take it. I wish everyone would stop treating me like a china doll. I'm not going to break.

Letting out a deep breath, I look up at him, "What else Gideon? What aren't you telling me?"

He gives me a sheepish look that makes him look a completely innocent young boy before he mumbles really quickly, "Youdon'thavetopack."

"Huh? What? I didn't understand you." I look at him confused.

"Well I'm already in the dog house with you so I may as well just say that you don't have to pack. Everything is taken care of. All you have to do is grab your passport and get on the plane with me."

"Shit. Gideon, what do you mean? Everything is taken care of?" I'm more surprised than anything at what he said and I know what he meant but I want him to spell it out for me so that I know without a doubt I didn't misunderstand him. I start to rub my belly. It really does have a soothing effect knowing that nugget needs me to be calm.

He can't look me in the eyes, he's focusing on his hands resting on the breakfast bar. I've kept silent waiting for him to answer. He knows that I won't like the answer. Finally, he looks at me but I don't see any contrition in his face but stubbornness.

"Look. You've been through enough lately with everything and I wanted to make things easy for you for this trip. You don't need to pack anything. Everything you will need has been packed and sent over to Teterboro and loaded on the plane along with my things. They are waiting there for us to hop on and leave."

What the hell? Seriously? What has he done? Shit! How the hell am I supposed to be mad at him when all he thought about was making my life easier. Closing my eyes and shaking my head trying to gather the thoughts rumbling around in my head I look over at Gideon and cover his hand with mine for a moment.

"You didn't have to do that. It wouldn't have been difficult nor would it have caused me any stress to pack. That and I don't want you buying me a bunch of stuff, Gideon."

He looks hurt when I said that but it's true. I don't want him buying me things. I don't want him ever thinking that his money is why I'm around. It's not. I want him around because I care about _**him**_, not his money. Besides it reminds me too much of Christian and his damn contract that said that my wardrobe will be provided. Shit. I don't want to think about that damnable contract.

"I want to buy you things, sweet girl. I want to give you the world. I know you still need time but please don't scold me like an errant child for trying to make things less complicated for you."

"Gideon, I need you to understand that yes I know that you want to make things simpler for me. Helping me. I get that but I need you to understand that your money is not an attraction for me. It's something that I deal with because it's part of the package of having you in my life. It was the same with Christian. But money doesn't hold value for me. Buying me things is unnecessary. But, that said, thank you."

The look of relief on his face after I said thank you to him was a welcoming sight. He leans over the breakfast bar and kisses me gently before smirking and saying, "Thank you for accepting and I'll try to remember to talk to you first before I decide to buy you a vacation wardrobe again."

My tea finished, I know that we still need to discuss what happened at the hospital with Christian. Taking my crutches and moving from the bar stool to the living room sofa so that I can rest my ankle. Gideon follows me making himself comfortable on the other end of the couch.

"I know you want to talk about what happened at the hospital today with Grey, Ana. First, I want to say I'm sorry. I was supposed to be there to help you and I just walked up to him, feeding into the hostility that I have every time I see him and left you standing there without any support. I added to your stress by engaging him. I shouldn't have done that."

I'm shocked that he just knew what I needed to hear from him. It seems that he always does though. He has always been able to say what I need and want even if I am not ready to hear it. Looking over at him, I reach out my hand for his. As he takes my hand I give his a gentle squeeze.

"No you shouldn't have but what's done is done. I need to know that you'll be able to control yourself around him though. As much as he doesn't want to be a father to nugget," I say as I rest my other hand on my small belly, "he still is. His parents want to have a relationship with their grandchild, so he's going to be around at some point and civility is necessary. Can you do that for me? Can you quit goading him and control your temper around him?"

I know that I am pleading with him about this, though I don't know if he realizes just how much his response to me could mean. He looks out at the city skyline for a moment, thinking carefully about how to answer me. I'm quietly taking him in. He tensed up when I asked if he could stop provoking Christian and could be civil. His face suddenly looks like he figured something out and just as he turns back to me and flashes me that one dimpled smile that I love so much.

"For you, sweet girl, anything. If you want me to be civil, I will. I won't repeat what happened today. As long as he doesn't put you, or nugget, in any danger I will be amenable. We will never be friends but I can be courteous if you would like. Well I can try to be anyway. I may slip up but nothing as big as today."

My smile grows bigger with every word he's spoken. He's agreed to try which is all I needed him to hear. I didn't need to hear an empty promise that he would change how he felt overnight. I needed to hear that he would mess up and that he knew he would but that he would try to control how often and how badly that he did. No one is perfect and I don't want Gideon to pretend to be for me. That would never work. But offering to try to reign in those things that could destroy us before we can even start is a huge starting point.

I reach out to him and he moves closer to me. Wrapping his arms around me and allowing me to rest my head on his shoulder for a few minutes before I tell him that I'm ready. I'm ready to be honest with him and with myself. That I have finally been able to let go of all the strain and stress of the relationship that Christian and I had and open myself up to him.

Moving my hand up and cupping his face, he looks down at me. There is clearly want and craving in his darkening blue eyes. I reach up and kiss him slowly and softly before deepening the pressure of my lips on his. I hear his groan as I pull away, a smile of contentment on my face.

"I don't need anymore time to think about what you asked me before you went back to New York. I've made my decision. If you can deal with a girlfriend on the other side of the country, if you think we can make this work, then I think we should try."

Gideon lets out a huge breath of air, I'm not sure he was aware he was holding. Suddenly he grabs me and hauls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me and plants a fiercely passionate kiss on me. We don't break apart until we both need air but he cups my face with both his large hands and stares directly into my eyes. Deep sea blue to crystal. Reverently kissing me and whispering, "Thank you" over and over again.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter 60**

**A/N: Well there were a lot of comments as well as reviews on the last chapter. I'm sorry if some of you don't like what you've read. Just a reminder: BE CONSTUCTIVE. Derogatory remarks are not needed or wanted. You don't have to read my story. YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO. I don't force it on you. If you don't like the characters the way I've written, whether you think they are stupid, a twit, a hypocrite, or anything else hateful, MOVE ON to the next story in your alerts list, I didn't ask you to be here reading my little story. Again, YOU chose to. **

**To the Guest who said that said that someone needs to point out that Ana won't forgive Christian when no body's perfect or that she's could be doing this to hurt Christian: First, she's moving on with her life. She owns that the demise of her relationship with Christian was just as much her fault as it was his. But he continually hurts her over and over again each time he says that he doesn't want to be a father. That is something that is much harder to get over and forgive. This is her child. She wants the baby to be loved by the people that will be involved as much as possible and is trying to protect it and her from heartbreak. She isn't doing anything to purposefully hurt Christian. And they will get a time to talk and discuss the baby. **

**To the Guest who said "so when Gideon controls everything and makes decisions without her she accepts…when CG does she flies off the handle." Well let's see here, this story started when she left after the belt incident. Christian's controlling tendencies for her at that point were the stalking and domineering. Since then it's been purchasing SIP without telling her. It's been him walking out on her and not wanting her until he saw a picture of her with someone else. Yet she has never really 'flown off the handle' about it. She's was angry. She walked away from conversations that weren't going anywhere because all that Christian was saying was "I want" never once asking her what she wanted or needed. So yeah, she'll forgive Gideon because when they discuss things that bother her, like making decisions for her, he compromises and tries to see her point of view and accommodate her by involving her. Christian hasn't done that once. That is the difference.**

**I want to thank one particular reviewer here. Gianni26: I know that I could just respond to your reviews but I wanted to give you a HUGE Thank you! Not only did you read the chapter and review but then you went back and saw some of the yucky reviews by some (whether they logged in or didn't) and reviewed again just to stand up for my story and my writing. I more than appreciate your words and can't thank you enough. They meant a lot! **

**For those of you that I haven't responded to, a huge THANK YOU for your kind words and support. I've gotten behind in responding as I took some time to spend with my son on his birthday, I only have him for another week or so before he spends the summer in South Carolina with my momma and I wanted his day to be special. **

**Now on with the story. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Please do review and let me know what you think of this one! Ya'll are amazing! :-) **

**Welcome to all my new favs, followers and reviewers! Please do excuse any and all typos. I worked quickly on this to get it out today and didn't get to edit as much as I wanted. **

**Please check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes. **

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**GPOV**

Ana's napping on the couch. She's been so tired since I've arrived but I guess that's to be expected with her hospitalization yesterday. She doesn't need any stress and I harbor a huge amount resentment towards myself for adding to her stress today with Grey outside the hospital. I really thought that when we arrived at her apartment she changed her mind about the trip and was mentally preparing myself to be able to accept her change of heart without trying to change her mind, without adding more additional stress to her. There's been enough of that for quite awhile.

I'm working on my laptop, well I'm trying to work but I keep just turning and looking at her, watching her. Seeing how beautiful she is, how innocent she looks when she's sleeping. She is the epitome of a kind beautiful and loving person. She sees the good in everyone she comes in contact with. That's the main reason that I was so drawn to her at first. More than her physical beauty, her internally beautiful soul just shines brightly like a beacon that draws people in, no matter how damaged they are.

And she's mine! She said yes! I'm still in shock that she wants me. She actually said that she thought we could make a relationship work. I just have to get used to the idea that she will be here in Seattle and not in New York. Yeah, I can do that. I won't like it. Hell who am I kidding I haven't liked her being on the other side of the country from me when we were just being friends and I was giving her the time she needed. But we'll deal with the distance. I'll deal with the distance.

It's not like I don't own a fleet of planes. I can hop on a jet at any time that I want to see her. Most of them are like mobile offices in the sky anyway, catering to business executives. Though, I have two that don't ever get leased out; the Cessna, my personal jet and the Boeing Business Jet, my corporate plane. The Cessna, though the fastest personal jet in the world isn't conducive to a long overnight flight. The BBJ has living areas, bedrooms, 2 full baths, a boardroom and a personal office space; basically it is a flying apartment with a meeting room. Anytime I have to travel overseas for anything I take the BBJ as it just makes the whole trip that much more comfortable. Hence the reason why Ana and I will be switching planes in Teterboro. I wonder if she would be too upset if I just send the Cessna back here to Seattle so that it is here for her to use when she wants to come to New York.

Hmmmm, I think that I may have to discuss this with her because I honestly don't think she will be okay with it. She's already said that she doesn't want me buying her things and that she basically deals with the fact that I am wealthy. I don't think she has any idea that I am right up there with Grey as far as my wealth is concerned but then she doesn't care about money so why would she even want to find out. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. This may be our first argument but I want to make sure that anytime she wants to see me, she can without worrying about anything.

Looking at my watch I realize that it is 2:30 pm and that I need to wake my sweet girl from her nap. So that we can get ready to leave and I know that she wanted to stop and see Kate before we left. As I wake her, she turns and looks at me over her shoulder and I am struck again by her soul piercing blue eyes. Those guileless startlingly crystal blue eyes that I have come to covet seeing. She doesn't look too pleased about being woken up but once she realizes that we don't have much time especially if she wants to see her friend then she starts moving.

* * *

**APOV**

"I'm going to go change. I don't want to be stuck in this dress for the flight."

I stand and head toward my bedroom before turning back around and seeing the man that has been my rock lately. Giving him a quick shy smile, "and thank you for letting me sleep. I think I needed it."

He smiles at me and nods once and I head back to my bedroom to quickly change. It's going to be a long flight and I want to be comfortable so I find a comfortable pair of teal skinny jeans, a lightweight cashmere sweater. I have the perfect shoes, a pair of teal and black vans. Next I throw my wallet and passport in a black shoulder-bag. Then turn to the bathroom to brush back my hair and put it up in a ponytail. Simple. Grabbing my toiletries I toss those into my black backpack along with my laptop, phone charger and a couple of books to read and head back out to the living room and to Gideon.

He's just getting off the phone when I re-enter and eyes my book bag. "Have everything you need, sweet girl?"

I smile at him and move closer to him setting the book bag and my purse on the couch before reaching him. Wrapping my arms around him, I just want a hug. For some reason I'm feeling a little anxious and feel the need to take refuge in his strong arms before we leave.

"Yes. Just my laptop, so I can still work remotely. But I will need to stop by SIP before we leave to pick up two of the manuscripts that I've been working on."

"Then we should head out now. Between stopping at SIP and for you to speak with Kate, we could end up being late to the airport." He tells me with all seriousness.

Taking comfort in his strong arms, I squeeze him just a little hard before letting go and turning around to grab my stuff. I hear him tsk me and turn to give him a puzzled look.

He's handing holding out my crutches to me. After I take them, he takes my purse and my book bag and arches and eyebrow giving me a look of 'what' as I giggle seeing this big burly man carrying a woman's purse. Now I can actually say there is something that I don't think Christian would ever do. No. I don't think I will ever see Christian carrying a ladies handbag for any reason and its one of the first things about Gideon that I've noticed that is exactly the opposite of Christian. It endears him to my heart even more than he has already become because it shows that he doesn't care what anyone else thinks… just what I think.

We make a quick stop at SIP where I speak with Mr. Roach about what happened yesterday and that I had decided to take some time out of the office to relax. I assured him that I would be taking work with me so that I don't fall behind but that I needed time to be able to de-stress. He's not happy about it but grants my leave time and tells me to make sure that I check in with the office each day and that the edits to the manuscripts I am working on are still due on time. Again, I assure him that is not a problem.

Then I stop by the IT department with my laptop and advise them that I am going to be on a trip and need them to make sure that my computer has remote capabilities to the servers at SIP so that I can log in when needed. It took them all of maybe five minutes to install the necessary programs and show me how to log in.

After leaving SIP and looking at my watch, I realize that it is now 3:30 pm and we were supposed to be at the airport by now. Gideon has been rather quiet, typing away on his blackberry. I'm assuming he's working but I still quietly apologize for making us late.

He laughs for a moment and tells me not to worry about it. That's the great thing about owning the plane and being the only passengers. It's not going to leave without us. I giggle at his statement but quickly apologize again.

"No worries sweet girl. It'll be fine. The plane isn't scheduled to depart until 4 pm anyway. We can push that back when we get there. It's not a problem."

Before I could answer him my phone rings. Looking at the caller ID I see that it's Kate. I quickly answer but before I can tell her that we are on our way over and why she tells me that Elliot has been calling her all day and that she needs to clear the air with him tonight so she won't be able to help me pack for the trip.

I tell her that Gideon has taken care of my packing for me and that we were on the way over to talk to her before going to the airport.

"What!? You're leaving now?" She asks a bit indignantly.

"Yes, Kate. We are leaving now. Call Elliot back so that the two of you can talk. It sounds like you need that."

"I told him that he needed to re-evaluate how he thinks and that I didn't want to see him until he had. I'm dreading this conversation Steele. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't tell me what I hope he does."

I can hear she's worried. But hopefully they will both come to their senses. "Kate. Listen to what he has to say. Don't get all angry at him. Just listen. You two can work through this. It's just a rough spot right now."

"I hope you're right Steele. Ok. Look I'm gonna call him back. Have a safe flight and remember to call me when you're over there!"

"Ok. Thanks we will and I promise."

I'm smiling as I hang up the phone and tell Sawyer that we can go straight to the airport as we don't need to stop. He acknowledges my comment and I know that he'll adjust our route accordingly.

Gideon is just sitting watching me. I don't think he's moved since I answered the phone. All of a sudden I'm being lifted and hauled onto his lap causing me to laugh and him to break out that devilish one dimpled smile before leaning into me and kissing me. Breaking the kiss, I stay on his lap. Snuggled down with my head resting in the crook of his neck and both his arms around me. He's still responding to messages on his phone but every now and again I feel him flex pulling me just a little bit closer.

We've pulled into Sea-Tac but we are driving out to where the private planes and jets are. Pulling up to a hanger I see a plane sitting in front with Cross Industries emblazoned on the side. It's huge and my eyes go wide.

"Wow. It's big." It's the only thing that my mind can't think to say.

Gideon laughs, "Oh sweet girl. This isn't big. I could show you big?"

Shocked at hearing the innuendo in his voice, I turn and look at him, "Gideon!"

Laughing harder because he knows where my head went, he says, "What? The plane we're taking to Italy. That one's big!"


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter 61**

**A/N: First, I'm sorry this has taken so long to get out to ya'll. Last week was rather long and difficult with preparing and sending my son to my mom's for the summer and well, to be honest some of the very nasty hateful reviews were just depressing as all hell. **

**I'm not going to address those people. I will just refer them back to my previous author's note from the last chapter. I do want to give a huge THANK YOU to contrite shadow. You are 100% right and I appreciate your kind thoughtful words. **

**Please excuse any and all typos and check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes.**

**Now on with the story. I do hope ya'll like this chapter! **

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**CPOV**

_WAR OF THE BILLIONAIRES_

_The nations two youngest billionaire CEOs caught yelling at each other in front of a Seattle were they yelling about? _

_A woman! A child?! That's right ladies and gentlemen, according to sources Seattle's own Christian Grey and New York's Gideon Cross stood in front of Mercy General Hospital in Seattle Tuesday morning evidently fighting over the love of a woman. And that woman just may be pregnant with one of the billionaires' baby! Wonder who the lucky woman could be? _

_Both men are considered to be the hottest young billionaires in the country. And both are extremely intelligent men, building their respective companies from the ground up. Dominating the business world completely. Both are 28 years old. Both went to Harvard, though it was only Cross that graduated. Grey dropped out and started his business and hit it big before Cross even walked across the stage at Harvard to accept his degree. Not to be outdone though, Cross took that degree and a small inheritance from his grandparents and build Cross Industries. Grey a billionaire before his 23rd birthday, Cross before his 25th. _

_Mr. Cross, who is usually seen with a new woman on his arm daily, has not been seen with anyone other than a young beautiful brunette that it seems started a few weeks ago in New York at the upscale and trendy restaurant, Tableau One. Since that time Mr. Cross has been seen with only his teenaged sister when in New York, but he has been spotted here in Seattle on numerous occasions and with the same beautiful woman._

_Christian Grey has never been seen out publicly with any woman other than his mother or his sister. Questions have been tossed around that the gorgeous copper haired tycoon is in fact gay. Though this has never been corroborated either. Mr. Grey obviously has enjoyed his privacy in the past but after this very public vocal sparring match with Mr. Cross it begs in our minds as to what could be so valuable to Mr. Grey to toss that need for privacy out the window? _

_It seems that would be a woman. And not just any woman either. One very beautiful, petite brunette with amazingly alluring blue eyes. This reporter has dug around and found the stunning young woman to be Anastasia Steele, a recent graduate of the University of Washington Vancouver who is currently working as an assistant editor at Seattle Independent_ _Publishing here in Seattle; which was recently purchased by none other than Mr. Grey himself. Hmmmmm? _

_Miss Steele was escorted out of the hospital by Mr. Cross, where she was evidently admitted Monday after an incident at SIP. Though this reporter couldn't determine what had transpired that would cause the need for hospitalization. As they two were leaving the hospital Mr. Grey appeared and the two men nearly came to blows after an argument over the young woman. Thankfully, both men had security personnel. Mr. Jason Taylor, Mr. Grey's personal security was seen grabbing Mr. Grey's arm as argument escalated and Mr. Cross' security helped Miss Steele into his waiting car and then informed him that she was waiting before Cross calmly walked away informing Grey that he would be heading on vacation!_

_What was the argument about? Apparently there is a child on the way? Grey was overheard yelling, "SHE is MINE just like that baby is MINE!" Whoa there! Does that mean what we think it means? Is there a baby? Is Miss Steele, the woman that has seemingly calmed the billionaire bad boy Gideon Cross from over 3000 miles, pregnant? Whose baby is it? Grey seems to think the child could be his? Can he be so sure? Cross has been seen with only one woman in weeks. That woman has been none other than the one woman that Mr. Grey drops his valued privacy for in this outright display of anger and apparent jealousy._

_This woman must have something special to have the two hottest, youngest CEOs in the country running after her. Cross calming down his playboy persona for her and Grey dismissing his need for privacy at all costs for her. This exquisite classic beauty must be hold something amazingly rare to have captured the attention of one, let alone both, of these men. _

_Well this reporter is going to be looking for a baby bump, which we did not spot on Miss Steele as of yet. But if the rumor is true, I imagine that it won't be long before one is seen! _

"FUCK! You've got to be kidding me," I yell throwing the tabloid on my desk. Taylor standing stoically across the room from me. He doesn't say a word, waiting for instructions on how to handle this matter, ever diligent.

Running my hands through my hair, pacing back and forth in front of the windows in my office. I quietly, but menacingly ask, "How did you miss a paparazzi yesterday?"

To his credit he didn't flinch at the accusation. "Sir, if you look at the photos. You can see that they were taken from a great distance, just with a good lens. We can find out. What would you like us to do about the article?"

Letting out a big breath, "Shut it down. And quick. Get started on that, I'm going to take a shower and then we are going over to Miss Steele's apartment. Cross left yesterday and I need to make sure she is okay and we'll need to discuss this article. My family knows about the pregnancy but I'm not sure hers does and I would rather they not find out from some piece of trash paper as I am sure she wouldn't want that either."

He nods his understanding and leaves my office. I walk back over to my desk and pick up the rag that printed the article and pictures from yesterday. Ana is beautiful in print but no where near a gorgeous as she is in person. Sitting heavily in my overstuffed leather desk chair, I stare at the pictures and remember the gut-wrenching feeling I had yesterday seeing her and Cross walk out of the hospital. She was leaning on him so much, trying not to need the use of the crutches he was carrying for her. Seeing her needing someone else, leaning on that person for comfort damn near broke me. I want to be that person for her. Hell that's what I went there to talk with her about and when I get there I see that I have been replaced by someone that isn't deserving of her. Shaking my head to clear the thoughts running through my head, I toss the trash mag in the garbage bin next to my desk and head out to my bedroom to get ready for the day...to get ready to see my Ana and to finally discuss us. Our relationship and our baby.

* * *

I'm sitting in the SUV outside Ana's apartment trying to figure out the best way to talk to her and make her understand that I need and want her in my life. I know that I am going to have to open up to her in a way that I haven't opened up to anyone...ever. She needs to know all my dirty little secrets and I can only hope that they don't turn her away from me any more than she already has. It's still early and with Monday's hospitalization I don't believe that she will be going into work today but at the same time Ana surprises me left and right, so I wanted to make sure that I was here before she would need to leave if she did decide to go.

Grabbing the handle to open the door my blackberry buzzes. Looking down at the screen I see the call is from Sam Wallace, my head of PR. Fuck. I'll need to take this before seeing Ana, especially with that fucking story that was printed this morning.

Answering I growl irritatingly, "Grey"

"Mr. Grey, it's Samantha Wallace. Do you have a few minutes to discuss a few things that have come up today?" Her voice is quiet but holds no hesitation. She's a shark when it comes to public relations and the queen of crisis management. Though she hasn't really had to use that particular skill set while working for me, I'm not if not meticulous about my privacy. Though now, with Ana, the baby and Cross, with emotions and tensions so high and thick, she just may have to hone those skills some more.

"You have two minutes." I need this over so that I can get upstairs and begin to salvage what I can of my relationship with Ana.

Clearing her throat, "Yes well, this could take longer than that. The office is being bombarded with phone calls this morning to verify that validity of the Seattle Nooz article this morning. I need to know the truth before I can extinguish the fires that piece of fluff blew up."

"Fine. What do you need to know. I don't want my personal shit out there Sam. So whatever I tell you stays between us. Spin it as much as you can without actually substantiating anything."

"Well first tell me what if any of that article is true."

Pinching the bridge of my nose and laying my head back on the head rest of the seat and letting out a deep breath, "Can't this just be fixed without my corroboration?"

"You hired me to do a job Mr. Grey. I can't do that if you don't tell me what I need to know." She snaps back at me.

There are few and far in between people that could get away with talking to me the way that she just has but that would be because she is one of the few. She's right, though I don't want to have to admit it.

"I did hire you to do a job and that job is to protect my public image, not my personal one. That shouldn't even be up for discussion." I growl back at her.

"Look, Mr. Grey, we all know that your personal life is exactly that. But that is part of the reason the paparazzi are so obsessed with you. If you want me to clean this up, I need to know that particulars so that I can do my best at diffusing this with minimal repercussions to you, those that may be close to you."

"Fine. Most of the article is true. Fuck. All of the article is true. Her name is Anastasia Steele, she's 22, she works at SIP - and before you ask, yes I bought the damn company because she works there. And yes, she is pregnant."

Sam is quiet on the other end of the line. I swear I thought the call dropped it was so quiet that I ended up looking at the screen to make sure the call was still connected before she asked the next question.

"Is the baby yours or Cross'?"

For some reason that question alone pissed me off more than can be imagined. Practically yelling at her, "One hundred percent MINE. And the baby is NEVER to be discussed in the media. Do you understand me!"

"Sensitive subject. I can work with that. Next, is Miss Steele in a relationship with you or with Cross?"

"I don't know why you need to know this to fix this situation Sam." I huff before continuing, "As of right now, I don't believe Miss Steele is in a relationship with either of us. She has informed me quite a few times they are just friends and as for us, we broke up a few weeks ago before finding out she was pregnant."

"How far along is she Mr. Grey. How long will we have to clear this up before she starts showing?"

"You're to clear this up immediately. This will not wait until deniability is no longer an option. We will not deny this baby but we won't discuss this child in the media. I don't care what it takes to rectify this situation but that is not an option."

"Okay."

"She's just roughly eight weeks along."

"Good. I can work with that. I'll have a statement on your desk in an hour for your approval before we release it."

"Email it to me. I won't be in the office today."

"Done."

I am ending the call when I realize that this situation could blow up in my face. Ana is going to hate that she has been outed like this and the paparazzi are going to be all over her once they figure out where she lives. I wouldn't be surprised if they are camped on SIP's doorstep right now.

Knocking on Ana's door, I'm hoping that she answers the door the way she did a few weeks ago. In those sexy little boy shorts and a cami. Everything on display. Closing my eyes at the memory for a moment and smiling to myself. She has no idea just how beautiful she really is and I want to be the one that reminds her every day.

Hearing the door open, hoping that its Ana, I am openly shocked when I see Elliot standing there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Umm Good morning to you too bro. My girlfriend lives here and I had a lot of making up and apologizing to do. But I could ask you the same question." He says as he opens the door wider to let me in.

Walking into the apartment, I quickly scan the open living room kitchen area for any signs of Ana. "I came to see Ana. We have some things to talk about. Work though."

My brother is standing there in his boxers and nothing else with his arms crossed over his chest scrutinizing me with a beleaguered expression before quietly saying, "She's not here, bro."

I turn to him, "What do you mean? She's not here? Where else would she be?"

Just as I asked him that question, Katherine comes out from the hallway wearing nothing but a robe and her hair up in a towel. Stopping when she sees me, her eyes instantly harden.

"You need to leave." She's says looking straight at me.

"Kate."

She looks quickly at my brother before looking back at me. "Don't Elliot. Leave Grey. Now."

"Where's Anastasia," I demand. This woman is her best friend, my brother's girlfriend. I need to control my temper. She knows where Ana is and I need to find her.

"That's none of your concern any longer. I'm not going to continue allowing you," looking between me and Elliot, "either of you, to continue to stress her out. Not now. She's not here. That's all you need to know, now get out of my house."

"Katherine. I need to talk with her. I don't want to stress her out but I _**need **_to speak with her. It's important. Please." Fuck! Please? Am I actually am pleading with this woman?

"Talk to her when she gets back." She says as she turns to leave then says to Elliot, "Get your brother out of my house Elliot. I've going to finish getting dressed."

"Elliot what does she mean, 'talk to her when she gets back'? Where is she?"

"Look bro. Kate and I are on tender ground where Ana's concerned. Hell, we damn near broke up over my fucking mouth and my actions. Kate's in protection mode. She won't say where Ana is. She won't tell me. All I know is she took some time off work and left on vacation."

"Vacation?" I staring at him bewildered. Then it hits me! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Cross! She left with Cross.

"I take it by the look of murderous rage on your face, you have some idea of where she could be?"

"Yeah." Is all I can muster as I turn and leave the apartment.

Getting back in the SUV, I dial Welch. When he answers I growl out at him, "I want the flight manifest from Cross' flight yesterday. Then I want you to find out if that plane is still in New Jersey. I want you to then cross reference the passengers on that list with any others that may have left Teterboro or any of the other major airports in New York. You have thirty minutes."

Before he could answer I disconnected the call.

"Taylor, Escala." Is all that I can get out before dialing the phone again.

"Andrea. Get Stephen on the phone. I want the plane ready to fly as soon as possible...Tell him New York for now. Tell him to make sure everything is ready in case that changes." Again disconnecting the call and dialing again.

"Roach. Anastasia Steele? Who authorized time off?"

"Well, Sir. with her hospitalization I approved her time off with the condition that she still has deadlines that have to be met. She had a laptop connected to the SIP servers so that she could still work remotely and said that she would be checking in with her assistant everyday."

He was hesitant but forthcoming when I asked my next question, "You said a laptop. Was it not one of the company computers or was it her own?"

"Her personal one Sir."

Good. I could work with this. I actually feel a bit of a smile creep across my face. Maybe just maybe this wouldn't be too difficult a job in finding her.

"Okay. Did she say when she would be back in the office?"

"No. Just that she needed time to de-stress as she put it."

"Fine."

Ending the call and calling Welch again. I tell him that I want a location on all laptops remotely connected to the SIP servers at anytime over the next few days. He questioned me if there was a specific employee that he could track easier. I gave him Anastasia's name and told him that she had recently had her personal laptop set to remote connect to the SIP server. I wanted to know when that particular device logged onto the server and the location of it when it does.

I lean back in the seat. Closing my eyes and thinking about what I have done. I've pushed the woman that I love into another man's arms. I can't believe that I has taken me this long to figure out what I want. I have always known that I wanted Ana back, as much as I fought it in the beginning of our break up but I thought that I was going to fix that when I found out that she was pregnant. My reaction to the baby pushed her to decide that she was couldn't deal with me.

Well, I've finally realized that I want my family, my girl _**and **_my baby. I'm going to do everything to get her back. The first step is finding her.


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter 62**

**A/N: Hope you like this one. Just a filler before we get to Italy. **

**I wanted this out by last Friday and I'm really sorry but after a computer crash and a birthday weekend I was finally able to fix, restore what I could and re-write what I couldn't of this chapter. Sorry about the wait! **

**I want to say welcome to all my new favs and followers. Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my story. **

**Please excuse any and all typos and check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes.**

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

We made good time according to Captain Sanders, something about the wind being in our favor. Considering we ended up flying out of Sea-Tac almost 30 minutes behind schedule because of my need to be remotely connected to SIP, I think that we're doing pretty good. Those four and a half hours were spent comfortably on Gideon's private plane. The furnishings much more lush than anything that I had ever encountered on any airline. We spent the time talking and working. Gideon on his laptop and me with a manuscript. I promised Mr. Roach not to fall behind on my work and I meant to keep that promise.

Disembarking the plane at Teterboro at 11:30 pm Eastern time, three hours later than what it was in Seattle, but later than Gideon had intended us to leave for Italy, we found Angus standing next to a town car waiting with the door open. He greeted both of us and asked to speak with Gideon. The two men walked to the back of the car as Sawyer put his suitcase in the trunk and then climbed into the passenger seat to wait for the other two men. When Gideon finally slid into the car next to me, he asked me if I was hungry. Being my body is still on Seattle time and we just had light appetizers on the trip here, I nod my head vigorously and he chuckles at my exuberance. He tells Angus to take us to Houhligan's.

When we got to the restaurant, which was right near the airport, we were able to go right in and found a booth in the bar area. It's a nice, warm restaurant/bar type atmosphere with quirky antiques on the wall and ceiling and a jukebox in the corner of the room blaring country music. When the waiter comes over to take our orders, Gideon defers to me in what I would like. I order scallops while he orders a burger.

I swear I have never seen a man eat more red meat than I have seen Gideon. Well maybe Ray but still. Almost every meal that we have been out on together the man has had some sort of steak or burger. Never chicken or pork and very rarely is it fish. I always thought that you should eat red meat in moderation but then again I doubt Gideon does anything in moderation.

Our meals arrive and I am pleasantly surprised with how delicious the scallops look. They are oversized sea scallops served over a lemon-asparagus risotto with baby field greens and basil infused olive oil. Gideon's burger looks outrageous as well. It's a medium well half pound burger served open-faced with a jumbo mushroom cap stuffed with herb and garlic cream cheese coated in panko crumbs and deep-fried on top. And of course he also ordered a huge basket of french fries to go with it. I'll be amazed if he eats all that but damn, I have to admit it does look pretty fabulous!

We ate the meal in relative quiet. Enjoying each bite before he had to leave. It was getting even later than we realized. We left feeling full and sated for the next and longest leg of this trip. Gideon said that he had another jet that he uses for overseas travel because it's more comfortable than the one that we flew here in. I don't know how that's possible. Like I said the plane we arrived in was pretty freaking amazing!

Gideon wasn't kidding when he said the plane that we were taking to Italy was big. Hell big isn't the word for it. I honestly believe that it is just as large as any commercial airplane. When Angus pulled up in front of this massive black and grey jet with its door open and stairs already in place for us to embark on the second leg of our journey, I heard Gideon chuckle beside me. The painting on the outside of the plane was hard to see, its dark but there are some lights shining so that you know the grey part of the plane is not plain but textured. Walking into it though. I stop at the threshold and just gape in amazement at my surroundings.

Gideon, who was behind me on the stairs, leans down and whispers, "It's just a plane, sweet girl. You can breathe now."

Turning to look at him, "Just a plane? Gideon this is a freaking house!"

Again he lightly chuckles at my extreme shock. "A bit like one yes I guess you're right. It has all the comforts of my apartment but it also has everything that could be imagined to run a company. Let's take our seats and after we get the all clear I'll give you a tour.

I can only nod my head as he gently guides me to a seat and tells me to make sure my seat belt is buckled. I take in my surroundings and realize that Gideon's world rivals Christian's. I think that I knew that but having it slap you in the face is another story. Hell we just came off one plush private plane and now this!

He's sitting across from me in a lavish "living space" complete with soft leather reclining chairs, chenille couches, mahogany tables and custom carpeting in a beautiful french ivy pattern laid out in the various areas of the plane. Without the tour he promised, I can see through a dividing wall of etched glass, to a dining room of sorts. Though for business I would imagine it would be closer to a conference room table.

True to his word, after we've been given the all clear Gideon takes my hand and offers me a tour. He walks me though what he calls the conference room, _yep, I was right. I look at it as a house, he looks at it as an office. _Down a hallway we pass the galley area where meals are prepared which is next is his office.

His office is colder than that of the rest of the plane and I begin to wonder what that says about him. About him in business? The walls and cabinets are a matching dark wood, teak maybe I'm not sure, with inlaid ivory stone tops. This room was made for work and you can see it in the decor. The furnishings more moderate to that of the rest of the plane's opulence, though one wall is completely etched chrome.

Moving on he shows me a full bath room and a stateroom with two separate beds and tells me this is where Angus usually sleeps when he flies. I take that to mean that, on this trip anyway, both Angus and Sawyer will be sleeping in this room. He hesitates as he gets to the last door at the end of the hallway. I look up at him and give him a small shy smile. I know this must be the master bedroom but seeing him look a little sheepish is kinda of amusing. I lift an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head a bit. Finally opening the door and standing to the side for me.

Walking into the master bedroom the first thing I notice is that this room is also different from the rest of the plane. The wood work is natural, not dark. The king-sized bed, which is centered in the room on a dividing wall upholstered in quilted cream leather, is made up in the same cream color as the walls and woodwork, with black being the accent color. There are vases of flowers on almost every surface save the bedside tables. But what draws my eyes dark oval chest in the back corner of the room. My feet follow my eye line taking me into an en suite bath. The floor is travertine as is the shower. The shower is curved into the opposite corner with amazing curved tinted shower doors but what draws my attention to the shower itself is that I see all my normal toiletries in the shower.

Turning I look questioningly at Gideon and again he's looking a little uncomfortable.

"I did say that you didn't need anything for this trip." He tells me without a hint of remorse at what he's done.

I just shake my head and pat his arm as I walk by him. This is a lot to take in. The more that I know the more that I see Christian and the more awkward I feel. I don't like all the control that I lose with Gideon anymore than I liked giving it up with Christian.

"I'm going to get some reading done before I go to bed."

"There's night clothes in the drawers for you. That and a fresh outfit for tomorrow. Everything else is packed in the luggage."

I stop, not turning to look at him and just say, "thank you."

"Ana? Are you angry?"

Letting out a big breath, I turn and look at Gideon and all I see is mega-mogal Gideon Cross. He's hiding behind the facade of being a powerful and, dare I say dominant, man that I assume he is in the business world. Almost like he's protecting himself from my answer.

"Of course not Gideon. It's just a lot to take in. Your ability to take care of me and give me what I need before I even know what that is. Look, I'm tired and cranky and I've got some work to do before I can relax. I'm sorry if I'm coming across as ungrateful."

"You're not. It's just that you really haven't said that much other than a hmmm or and ahhhh since we boarded and you haven't said anything since being in this room at all."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a wet blanket. It's just...It's just so much to take in. I'm not used to all the opulence."

He's walked over to me and wraps me in his arms, holding me close as he tells me, "it comes with the territory sweet girl. I hope that you'll come to realize that and accept it soon but I understand that right now it may be much for you."

Gideon told me he had some work to do as well and went into his office as I went out to find a comfy spot on one of the couches and picked up the manuscript that I started reading on the way to Teterboro. After reading about three chapters, I couldn't get keep my eyes open any longer and started making my way back to the master bedroom. Stopping at Gideon's office and knocking lightly, I opened the door and stuck my head in. He was on the phone so I just walked over to him, kissed him on the cheek and whispered good night before leaving and closing the door quietly behind me.

In the bedroom, I opened one of the dressers and found an organic cotton cami with satin trim, adjustable straps and bow detail with a matching full-length pant with satin drawstring. Putting it on and feeling not only how comfortable but how soft it was I knew that it would become a favorite rather quickly. Not only was it cute and girly but it was super comfortable. Stretching out on the bed I was quickly asleep.

**A/N 2: I know that Teterboro does not permit larger aircraft, such as Gideon's "big" plane, operations on any airport surface. Teterboro's goal is to remove the smaller and slower aircraft from the larger regional commercial airports. But for purposes of my story I am taking the liberty to fudge the particulars a bit. Again I really hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter! :) **


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter 63**

**A/N: Hope you like this one. So we have both the men in this one. :) **

**I want to say welcome to all my new favs and followers. Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my story. **

**Please excuse any and all typos and check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes.**

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**GPOV**

The flight over to Teterboro was nice. For me it was more relaxing than anything else. Ana and I talked about things that she would like to do in Italy when we get there. Unfortunately with Ana's ankle still healing and the most towns on the Amalfi coast are what I would call 'walking' towns, where the architecture is the draw, it could be difficult seeing everything she thought she wanted to see. Meandering through the villages and towns taking in the construction, engineering, and composition of the buildings, may be difficult with her injury, The towns along the coast are an outstanding examples of a Mediterranean landscape, with exceptional cultural and natural scenic values resulting from their dramatic terrains and historical evolution, and I worry that she will feel that she will miss out on seeing things that she will want to.

There are a couple of museums that I would like to take her to. The Museo Pinacoteca Provinciale located in the heart of Salerno's historic center. The museum houses art dating from the Renaissance. Art has always interested me and I have a number of original works in both my home and office. I would love to share with her the value of art in the inspiration that it can give to another. The way that a few brush strokes by an artist can bring about feelings in a viewer. Then there is the Museo della Carta in the town of Amalfi itself. With Ana's love for books, I think a tour of a museum housed in the oldest paper mill in Europe in which the original paper presses are preserved and still in full working order, may be apt.

We had dinner once we got to Teterboro. Due to our late take off from Sea-Tac we were late arriving and our flight plan to Salerno had to be pulled and refiled. Meaning that we had some additional time before the second leg of the trip. I don't mind though, I wasn't scheduled to leave for Italy until Monday, so it's not as though I am going to be missing anything that needed my attention, though there is still some work that I need to get done so that I can have a nice leisurely weekend with Ana before Monday, because for me, this is still a working trip.

I was surprised at Ana's reaction to the plane when we boarded. Her eyes got wide and she looked like she was a lost child looking around, taking everything in. It was almost like she shut down on me. As I was giving her the tour, she would just look at each room, nod her head; but the only comments she had were a _hmmm _here or there. I've never really had difficulty reading her reactions before. Sure there are times that I can tell she doesn't want to discuss something in particular, usually this has to do with Grey, but never had I encountered her just in her own head. The taciturn nature, the stoic resolve that I saw in her for that time has me a little off. I don't know how to take it. She has always been forthcoming with me about what she feels or what she thinks about any certain thing so this is all new and I'm not sure that I like it. I need her to be honest with her feelings. And the best that I got from her was "it's a little much to take in. I'm not used to all the opulence."

What the fuck does that mean? She dated Grey for crying out loud?! She has told me they had somewhat of an unconventional relationship, never going into detail of course but seriously how could she be so upset with the trappings that come with being a billionaire. It was like she had no clue, no idea what it was like. I realize that she has never had limitless income but she dated someone who did. How could she have no fucking idea? Didn't he ever do anything, get her anything, show her anything that any regular Joe Blow wouldn't? She deserves to be pampered and I'm beginning to wonder at just he type of relationship they had. Maybe I can get her to open up, tell me exactly what happened that broke them apart. I know she still has feelings for him. Hell, I know she still loves him. I need to know what happened so that I don't repeat those mistakes with her.

Being that we both had some work to do, I headed into my office and she found a spot in the main cabin to read. After awhile she did come in to say good night but I was on the phone working on a deal for another casino in Hong Kong. I broke into the Asian market a few years ago. It's been a rather lucrative endeavor and I would like to capitalize on it by adding another casino.

Another two hours of work I realize that no amount of coffee is going to help me keep my eyes open any longer and I need to get some sleep. I quickly clean up my desk before heading to the bedroom. Opening the door, I see that Ana left the lights on. Smiling at her forgetfulness I look straight at the bed and see what I can only describe as an Angel. My sweet girl laying with her head resting on her arm sound asleep in my bed. I don't think I could ask for anything better right now. I closed the door, went to the bathroom, quickly changed into a pair of soft teal green bamboo cotton pajama pants and got into bed next to her, pulling her into my arms and kissing her temple before closing my eyes and falling into a deep sleep thinking that I am one lucky bastard!

* * *

**CPOV**

After making all the necessary phone calls to expedite this spontaneous trip to New York and hopefully to get my Ana back, Taylor has pulled into the underground parking at Escala. I inform him that we need to be ready to leave in an hour.

On the way up to the apartment Andrea called me back to inform me that Stephen said that he would need two hours to get the plane ready to leave. Fuck. I need to be in the air right now but I know that filing the fight plan and doing the pre-flight checks come first before the wheels leave the ground. Letting out a sigh of frustration my only response to her is a terse "Fine" before hanging up the call.

Entering the apartment, I tell Mrs. Jones that I need clothes packed for a week, hopefully it won't take that long, but I want to be prepared just in case. She doesn't ask what I want packed she just acknowledges the request and moves along as I head to my office, there are phone calls that I need to make. First call is to Ros.

I tell her that I am heading to New York and will not be in the office for the rest of the week and maybe into next week. My schedule being unplanned and tenuous at best right now. She informs me that she will coordinate with Andrea regarding any meetings that I have scheduled that she can handle and that anything that she can't will be put off and rescheduled. I highly doubt that anything like that will happen. Ros is fucking good at what she does. It's kinda scary watching her in action sometimes and she gets as much of a thrill out of closing a deal or landing a huge project as I do.

Next I call Welch. I gave him a fucking time limit to get me the information I wanted and that time limit is up and I haven't heard squat yet. He's usually pretty good at getting anything and everything that I requested from him so there had better be a good fucking reason as to why I don't have this information now.

"Welch?" I growl out when he answers the phone.

"Sir. I was able to get the flight manifest from Sea-Tac regarding Mr. Cross' flight yesterday afternoon. The passengers included Mr. Gideon Cross, Mr. Lucas Sawyer and Miss Anastasia Steele sir along with the flight crew, attendant, Linda Shepard, first officer Anthony Sparks and Captain Marc Sanders."

Demanding answers, because I should not have to wait for them. When I issue a command I expect it to be executed. My team is who they are because they are the best at what they do but I hate a screw up. I want answers and I want them now. I am done fucking waiting. I have done enough of that where Ana is concerned. Hell that's all I did when we first met. Fucking wait...

"What about cross referencing with Teterboro and the major airports in New York? Is the plane still at Teterboro? Have they gone anywhere else?"

There's a pause before he answers. I have a feeling I am not going to like his response.

"Sir, I am still trying to cross reference with Teterboro and the major New York airports. I'm having some trouble getting the required information for New Jerseys Dept. of Transportation Aeronautics Division to find out if another flight with the same individuals listed on the Seattle manifest could have flown out of Jersey. As far as New York is concerned, none of the passengers listed have flown out of there in the last 24 hours."

I am fucking pissed. Why can't he get the information out of New Jersey? What the fuck is the problem. I know that he'll eventually get what I want but this fucking waiting game is just pissing me off.

"What about the tracking on Miss Steele's laptop? Have you been able to do that much Welch?" I know I sound pissy but fuck. I want answers and I want them now not three days from now.

"Sir. Barney was able to obtain the IP address of Miss Steele's computer from the SIP server and he has set up a monitor of when the computer is activated. As of right now though her computer has not been logged into SIP for any reason. As soon as that happens we will know the location of the laptop immediately."

I can't fathom that she hasn't used her computer at all since she left. I know that it's still early in the day but if she is in New York its mid-day there. She would surely turn the damn thing on by now.

"Coordinate with Barney. Find out if there is a way to track that laptop without Miss Steele actually logging into the SIP server. I want a location immediately."

He acknowledges my demand again before I disconnect the call. Resting my elbows on my desk and running my hand through my hair my only thoughts are of Anastasia. I want her, that was never a question, but this baby. It took a lot for me to accept it and now that I do I want nothing more than to make sure that I get my family back. I'll take her anyway that I can have her, no matter the consequences. If I have to grovel I will. Novel idea that, I may have to practice. Get it right. I need her to understand just how important she is to me before I've lost her completely.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter 64**

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so very long to get out. As I've said before, I don't have pre-written chapters. I write as it comes. The last few chapters have been very hard to get out because I seem to have hit writers block, or have had very little motivation to keep going. Every time I sit at my computer with the intention of writing my mind goes completely blank and nothing ends up on the screen. So I thought that I would step away from it for a bit so as not to pressure my poor brain to continue and giving it a rest from everything. Working 16 hour days for the last couple of weeks haven't helped either. **

**Anyway, here is the next installment. I hope ya'll enjoy it! Let me know what you think. **

**I want to say welcome to all my new favs and followers. Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my story. **

**Please excuse any and all typos and check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes.**

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

**APOV**

"Ana, sweet girl, it's time to wake up." I hear the words spoken softly next to my ear and feel fingers running softly up and down my arm. I don't want to wake up right now and try to burrow my way back down into the comfortable bed that I curled up in.

"No." I mumble.

I hear a chuckle, "Yes. We'll be landing in an hour. I'm going to take a shower. Time to wake up so that when I'm done you can shower and dress before we land."

Gideon placed a kiss on my cheek before I felt the bed shift as he stood. I opened one eye and watched him move around the room and am amazed again at how defined his body really is. Clearly defined pectorals and cut abs right down to the "v" hiding below those teal sleep pants, bulging biceps and as he's walking away I can plainly see every defined muscle in his back and his very round ass covered in the thin cotton of his pajama pants. I knew he was built, hell I'd seen him in just a towel before but evidently I wasn't looking at the goods when I did. Hells bells the man is fucking gorgeous.

"I hope you like what you see, sweet girl. But I mean it. Time to get up and moving. If you're not up by the time I get out of the shower I'll take you in there myself." He said as he turned the corner into the bathroom.

It was weird that he knew I was watching him, knew that I was checking him out and I didn't doubt that he would put me in the shower if I wasn't up but the bed was so damn comfortable, I figure that I can just rest here until I hear the water turn off and then get up. Burrowing down into the blankets I laid curled up in, I started to think about why I am here. What led me to being here? And I can only come up with one reason.

Christian.

Christian is the reason that I am here. Well technically Gideon is but I wouldn't be with Gideon if it weren't for Christian and his need to dominate and dictate. His need for absolute control. Even down to my body and our baby.

I'm still struggling with everything that he has said to me in the recent weeks. How he can't be a father is foremost in my head. I don't understand how someone could find out they are going to be a parent and then just turn their back on the precious parcel that God bestowed upon them. I'm not necessarily a religious person but I do believe that God never gives someone something they can't handle. Plus even with Christian's behavior, his personality, I know that he has a heart that is screaming for love and isn't that just what babies are. Unconditional love.

He has some horrors in his past. Of course as closed off as he is he never shared those with me. I did witness the after effects of a nightmare though and there's the "no touching" thing. I wish he had trusted me enough to share things with me but at the same time we weren't together long enough for true, real trust to develop. I tried to trust him and he broke me. He hurt me but I forgave him that just as I had to fight to realize that the reason he did it was because I had asked him to. Realizing that either of us infallible and that both of us were at fault made the forgiveness easier to give.

But his reaction to me being seen with Gideon and then to the baby. That's what I am having a hard time accepting. I understand him being upset about my being seen with Gideon, he lost me and he's not used to losing anything. Christian openly admitted that he wanted me but only after he saw the pictures with Gideon. Seems like a case of 'you don't know what you have until you lose it' but I'm not a possession. And Christian has always treated me like I was. And now with the baby his attitude is almost like the old saying, 'if I can't have you then no one else will'. He doesn't want Gideon around me but he can't accept the baby so he has no place around me either.

It's a shame that he'll never know that I would have chosen him over any other man had he just been willing to accept his own child. He couldn't do that and I deserve to be happy. So I had to accept his feelings and move on. I can't pine away for a man that doesn't want me or his own child when there's a man, who has been wonderfully supportive from the moment I found out about this little nugget inside of me. A man that has wanted nothing but what makes me happy. A man that has been a friend and confidant, a protector and in the end a caretaker. He's cared for nothing but my happiness from the beginning.

Listening closely for any noise from the bathroom and not hearing anything except the running water from Gideon's shower, I close my eyes again and drift off into my thoughts.

I didn't realize that I was slowly falling back to sleep until I felt the covers being flung back and being attacked with fingers on my rib cage. Shit! He's going to tickle me awake!

Laughing uncontrollably, I manage to get out, "Gideon! Stop! Okay! I'm awake."

Looking up at him, I notice he's just in a towel, his dark olive skin still damp from his shower and see a mischievous glint in those intensely blue eyes and a devilish smirk appears. The next thing I know he's standing at the end of the bed and grabbing my ankles, pulling me to him. Once I get to where he can reach my waist he picks me up like I weigh absolutely nothing, cradling me to his damp bare chest and carries me into the bathroom.

"Gideon! No! Seriously? I can take my own shower!"

His laughter fills the spacious bathroom before he tells me that he promised that he would take me in here himself. He sets me down gently on the tiled floor, next to the shower. With one hand still on my waist he reaches into the shower and turns the water back on but his eyes never leave mine. They're color darkens to almost black and I can feel the desire radiating from him. He closes his eyes and places a hand on each of my shoulders. He's struggling with something. I can see it on his face and I want to put him at ease but he just inhales deeply and then lets out a deep breath. I can clearly see the desire and lust in his eyes though he's trying not to show it. He bends down to me kissing my forehead gently. His lips lingering for just a bit longer than normal.

"Fifteen minutes, Ana." It's all he says as he walks away leaving me alone with my thoughts to shower.

After getting out of the amazingly hot shower, I brush my teeth, dry my hair leaving it long soft curls cascading down my back and apply some light make-up. Ready to get dressed I walk back into the bedroom area and find an outfit Gideon must have left out for me. There's a matching nude lace bra and panty set. Very sexy and wouldn't be seen through the white linen wide-leg trousers that he chose. I smile at that. He obviously remembered that the air cast would still be on and wanted something that not only could I get on but could disguise the hideousness of the ankle cast. There's also a beautiful Cornflower blue silk cable knit top with a boat neck and short cap sleeves. Once I have it on I also notice that the back is cut low exposing my back from right above my bra. It's both sexy and conservative at the same time.

There's a pair of matching white espadrilles, though I will only need one, that once on are the perfect height to match the added height of my foot in the air cast. The doctor did say that I didn't have to wear the cast all the time but I don't think that my ankle is quite ready to be in a heel just yet. The added pressure could possibly cause it to take longer to heal and I don't to chance it just yet. Hopefully, he also thought about that and bought some flats for whatever else he purchased for me to wear on this trip.

I also notice that there is a matching purse on the dresser with two jewelry boxes in front of it. They weren't there last night or when I went into the shower. Damn, this man has thought of everything, even down to accessories! What the hell am I going to do with him? I can't have him spending asinine amounts of money on me, for clothing no less! Tentatively I take one of the jewelry boxes and open it and my mouth drops open when I see the beautiful blue faceted topaz earrings. They have a diamonds pavé set in the cable wrap around the double dropped stones. There's a matching ring with the same cable wrap pavé diamonds that cross over the top of the stone. The pieces in this box are extraordinary and obviously match the top he purchased for today's outfit choice, not only in color but with the cable wrap around them. Putting in the earrings and slipping the ring onto my right ring finger I notice my hands shaking just a bit. I pick the second larger box and instantly realize that it will be a matching necklace. I wasn't mistaken. Opening the box there is a beautiful oval faceted pendant wrapped with pavé diamonds on a long platinum or white gold chain. Slipping it on I notice that it hits right above my chest in the middle of my breasts.

The outfit is beautiful and taking a look in the long mirror on the back of the bedroom door what I see looking back at me is unbelievable. I look polished and graceful except for the barely perceptible cast peeking out from under the wide leg of the trousers. I smile to myself. I'm still me of course and the cast, even though it was earned in an accident, is just a reminder that I am not always the most graceful woman on her feet.

Gideon knocks on the door before opening it. As he enters and he stops short. His eyes roaming over me and a small smirk appearing on his strikingly chiseled face. I'm hoping that he likes what he sees.

I smile back at him, "Everything ok, Gideon?"

He shakes his head almost imperceptibly, like he's clearing his head of his thoughts. "Yes. You look amazing. That blue is almost the same color as your eyes."

I just smiled at him as he continued, "We'll be landing in ten minutes, sweet girl. We need to get buckled in."

"I just finished. Let's go out and get settled then."

I take his hand in mine and he leads me out to the main living area of the plane and sits me in a seat next to the one he was obviously sitting at before coming to get me. After buckling our seat belts he takes my hand in his and raises it to his lips and kisses the top before resting them intertwined in his lap.

"Are you excited?" He asks.

"Of course, I am." I tell him smiling up at his amazing deep blue eyes. "I'm looking forward to some time just relaxing. No stress. Just the clear blue water and the historic beauty of the landscape. Thank you."

"You're very welcome darling. I'm going to have to work today and tomorrow with the yacht company, seeing what the hold up is and fixing the problems that have come up but after that I'm all yours for a week."

He called me darling. Wow. Usually its 'sweet girl' or Ana if he wants to get a point across. This one is new and I think that I like the endearment much better.

"We'll be staying at the Monastero Santa Rosa Hotel for those days and then well go sailing up the coast. Staying on the boat for a few days, stopping over at a few going to the Island of Capri?"

"That sounds amazing Gideon."

The plane landed with no troubles at the Aeroporto di Selerno, a small airport for charter and private planes only. Though Gideon has informed me that it may open soon to larger commercial aircraft. Just then the doors open and the cabin of the plane inundated with the bright afternoon sun. The smile on my face grows by the second but Gideon has yet to even take off his seatbelt as he starts packing up his laptop.

"Sawyer and Angus are taking everything off the plane and taking it with them to the hotel. Let me grab my phone and well disembark and start are trip over."

"They'll not be driving us?" I look at him confused as he finally takes his seatbelt off and is walking back to his office to get his phone.

Casually over his shoulder, he just says, "there's not enough room for them. I thought we'd take a little tour before heading to the hotel, grab an early dinner on the way?"

Shocked that we won't have security trailing after us I also realize that I'm a more relieved that the men will have some time to themselves and Gideon and I will have the freedom of being by ourselves. Which is something that I have missed since being involved with him.

Finally exiting the plane, I see a car parked about 20 feet away with a large SUV parked in front of it. Sawyer is in the front of the SUV and Angus is standing at the passengers door holding it open. I've never seen a car so gorgeous and sexy. Yes, that's what it is. This car makes you think about sex. Low profile, sleek lines and an open top. I smile and approach. Just after I sink into the soft leather of the seat, Gideon, in his dark wash jeans, navy sweater with a pair of aviators hanging from the 'v' neck has his overnight bag over his shoulder. He walks over to Angus, hands him the bag and walks around the car and enters the driver's seat.

Pulling the aviators from his light weight sweater and putting them on, he looks over at me, "Ready darling?"


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter 65**

**A/N: I'm sorry for the delay again on this chapter. Real life has been more hectic with my son gone for the summer than I would have thought and has gotten in the way. I have also written this chapter and tossed it twice. I'm still not necessarily happy with it, though it is one of my longest yet. I hope that ya'll still enjoy it. **

**I want to address a "Guest" review here as I can't personally respond to people who don't log in. Ana hasn't refused to speak with Christian about the baby and their situation. She refused to deal with him after his actions caused complications with her pregnancy. He's the one that walked out on her - several times since finding out she's pregnant with his child. She doesn't want stress that he continues to bring into her life. If my ex put me in the hospital due to stress complications while I was pregnant, I wouldn't want speak to him about it while being tested to make sure that me and my child were ok. That's additional stress that you don't need. That said, it says more than you realize about YOU, the type of person you are, that you would wish harm on a baby - even a fictional one because you didn't like the choices of the mother. Gideon never forbid her to see Christian or to speak to him. He did however provide security because he didn't trust Christian - NOT ANA. Why should he when he's seen Ana broken because of the loss of her relationship with Christian and how Christian has been treating Ana since he found out they, Ana and Gideon, were friends. How he has treated Ana regarding the baby? Why should he trust him not to cause more problems? And if anyone would be leading anyone by a leash - it wouldn't be Gideon. **

**I want to say welcome to all my new favs and followers. Thank you so much for taking your time and reading my story. It warms my heart that there are so many that are enjoying this story. Whether you've been here since the beginning or you have just recently found the story. Thank you! **

**Please excuse any and all typos and check out my pinterest page. You can find it at ammibm5/a-new-light or there's a link on my bio page :) Sorry for any typos or mistakes.**

**I do not own the characters that honor goes to the wonderful authors of the FSoG and Crossfire trilogies!**

* * *

APOV

"Ready darling?" Gideon asks me as with one hand on the steering wheel but with his entire body turned looking at me behind his aviators.

I'm so excited that the only thing I can do is give him a big smile and nod my head. He chuckles at me but I can't help but notice that he's wearing the same huge smile plastered over his chiseled face. He's shaking his as he starts the car and shifts it into gear. The car roars to life but once we pull away from the airstrip the noise is nothing more than a hum.

I have never seen a car this amazing. The purr of the engine is no more than a quiet hum in the background. We're relatively low to the ground and even with the top off the wind noise is just as non-existent. Sliding my hand over the leather encased center console, taking in everything extravagant and over the top about this car, I glance over at Gideon, taking him in.

I start to wonder if he feels that he needs to impress me with his wealth. The relative ease he handles his business from anywhere he may be… The planes, yes two for one trip! Seriously? Now the car. No doubt the hotel will be just as luxurious. He's purchased an entire wardrobe for me even down to the accessories for the outfits he's chosen. If that's what he's doing I need to get him to understand that his money is not something that I'm interested in nor am I comfortable with it. I do however, still need to thank him for the clothes and jewelry.

Breaking me from my inner thoughts, I feel Gideon's hand taking mine from the center console and holding it. He's glancing over at me and I can see the concern on his face as he faces the road again.

"Everything okay sweet girl?"

Oh, back to sweet girl, I rather liked darlin'.

"No why do you ask?"

He shakes his head; glances back at me with a small frown, before his eyes dart back to the road and says, "You seem to be in your head. I was asking how you like the scenery."

I look up and for the first time since getting in the car at the airport I notice the scenery we are driving through and am truly amazed and in awe. The road is so narrow and curvy but we seem to be right on the precipice of a cliff. If not for the guard rails, some are like what is at home but most are made of stone, I would be worried that we could easily drive off the road straight over the cliff and into the ocean. Knowing that as long as we aren't speeding, which could easily be done in this car, everything should be fine and start to take in more than the size of the road and the cliffs. It is utter beauty that I am seeing.

I look over at Gideon and give him a huge smile, "It's absolutely stunning! I thought we were going to the hotel?"

"I thought that we could take a short drive, grab something to eat and then go to the hotel. I'll be working for the next few days, so you'll be stuck there for that….."

Interrupting him, "what do you mean I'll be stuck there?" Narrowing my eyes at him because I'll be damned if he's going to tell me what to do. I've been with someone already that wanted to control everything, what I did, who I saw, where I went, what I wore, how I should behave… I won't do it again.

He glances at me and squeezes my hand as he explains, "I just meant that because your ankle is still healing you won't get to go wandering the city too much and being that you can't drive here, there won't be much for you to do except staying at the hotel. There should be plenty there to keep you occupied for the few days that I'm going to need to work anyway. It shouldn't feel like you're stuck"

Taking my hand from his warm engulfing one, the only thing I can think is wow. He started out with concern and ended with condescending arrogance. I wonder if this quick change in attitude has anything to do with the fact that there is no one else around us; no one that either of us knows. Is this what he's really like? I pray that this attitude isn't what being with him is going to be like.

Looking out the window, I uncross my arms and rub my itsy bitsy bump. You can't really tell its there when I have clothes on, but I know. I know my little nugget is in there and I know that I can't get stressed. I'm going to have to deal with this situation with Gideon just like we've always dealt with our disagreements. Talking. We are in one of the most beautiful, romantic regions in the world. And as much as I don't want to argue and fight with him, he has to know and understand that I won't put up with him telling me what to do.

I don't want to have this conversation right now though. I want Gideon's concentration on the road. It's narrow, very narrow. And curvy. But the view is to die for and I'm glad that I am in the passenger seat. Not only would I not want to drive this obviously dangerous road but I wouldn't get to enjoy this magnificent view if I were. Looking up I'm glad there's no roof on the car, you can see the sheer cliff face that the road is carved out of and then out the windows are the most beautiful views of the sea below.

A few minutes later Gideon pulls over and two attendants come right over. One to open Gideon's door and take the car and another to assist in helping me out. Seems we've made it to wherever he decided we should have dinner. Getting out of the car, with a stern look to the young parking attendant as he holds the door open for Gideon to exit, I giggle at his reaction to the young man. Gideon then comes around to help me out of the car moving the other young attendant out of the way with just a look. Helping me out of the car he tells me that this restaurant is one of his favorites and visits here every time he has to be in this region of Italy.

Fish is a small and quaint little restaurant. It has the feel of a tiny French bistro but instead of being sat at one of the few tables in the building we are led to a top of a two story terrace overlooking the sea. My! The views from here are just as amazing and breathtaking as any that we have seen so far. Gideon notices that I am staring out at the water and tells me that at night you can see the lights from the town of Vietri and Salerno.

We both decided on fish, Branzino or European Sea Bass. Just cooked differently. I think Gideon ordered his just so that I could try it as I couldn't make up my mind between the two. Mine was served crispy with a basil infused lemon caper sauce and Gideon's was served grilled with fresh cauliflower.

I found that Gideon spoke to our waiter in effortless Italian before ordering and seemingly satisfied with the server's response, he went ahead and ordered our dinner. As I listened to him speak the language I felt even more in amazement of him than I already sometimes do. He does things so flawlessly with seemingly little effort that occasionally I am left feeling captivated by him.

"You speak Italian?" I ask in wonderment.

Giving him a small tight smile that doesn't reach his eyes, "Yes."

"Fluently or just conversationally?"

"Fluently. My mother's family is Sicilian. The dialects change with region to region but that is with any language I guess."

His voice is flat as he's responding to my questions. Obviously this is not a subject that he finds comfortable with sharing. But then thinking back, Gideon has shared very little about his family with me. Usually it's about what's going on with him, work or charity events that he's needed to attend for whatever purpose. Though usually our conversations are about me and what's going on in my life or with nugget.

I wish he would be more open with me about his family but I have always assumed that one opens up more to someone as they get to know each other. Hopefully someday he'll feel comfortable enough to talk to me about his family and why he doesn't seem to like speaking of them.

Needing to explain my feelings about everything to Gideon about how he spoke to me earlier, the condescending tone that he took with me and how I feel about the money that he so lavishly is spending for this little trip. I change the subject while we are waiting for dinner to be served.

"Gideon, we need to talk."

He turns from looking out over the vista, his eyes the same blue as the Gulf of Salerno below when he says, "It's never good when your woman says 'we need to talk'. What's wrong sweet girl?"

Blushing a little at his comment, I sigh, "First, I want to say thank you for this amazingly wonderful trip and for the clothes and accessories. And I don't want to seem ungrateful," he arches an eyebrow at me as I hurriedly continue, "but the expense of all this is a bit overwhelming."

Yes, that's a good way of saying that it's not entirely comfortable to me. Maybe he'll understand and won't take what I'm saying the wrong way but as I look at him, I realize that that is just wishful thinking on my part. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed a bit causing me to shrink back a little in my chair. Thankfully before he could respond, the waiter arrived with our meals. Both look amazing but I don't think either of us are interested in what has been placed before us.

As the waiter leaves Gideon looks at me and says, "Go on."

Surprised at his ominous tone, one which I've never heard from him before, I look up at him surprised and before I say anything he continued.

"You said first. So that obviously means there's more Ana. So say everything you need to and I'll address what deserves addressing."

Ok, so I knew this would be a difficult conversation but I didn't expect such a cold reception to it. It's almost as if he resents that I have these feelings. Shit. I don't want him to feel that way but I need him to also understand that extreme wealth is not something that I am used to and … Fuck! I don't know how to explain this to him without hurting him more.

Twisting my fingers together in my lap, I look up at him. Pleading for him to understand what I am trying to say.

"What I'm trying …. Look, I need you to understand that all this affluence is something that I'm not used to. Private jets, luxury cars, expensive clothing and fine jewelry…these are things that I've never had and therefore unaccustomed to having given to me so freely.

"Then when you spoke to me earlier about being stuck at the hotel. Well, it was the tone of your voice that put me on edge, Gideon. But your words were just as bad. It was as if I can't do anything without you being there with me. Which is simply ridiculous. If there is something I want to do then I will do it. Would I prefer to do whatever that may be with you? Yes. But if you're not available then I will do something by myself. I will not be hog tied to a place simply because the men in my life decide that I should be."

Ok… the entire tirade out. Now for his reaction. His face calmed a bit when I started but as I made my point the thunder in his handsome face just kept getting darker and darker. Like a brewing storm ready to combust.

Very quietly, "You're welcome for the clothes and jewelry. I don't understand why you seem to be upset about them, as I told you when you tried to pack that I had taken care of all that. You knew that I had purchased things for you. What difference does the cost of such things matter? It doesn't to me. You, however, have an issue with it.

"As for this trip. I thought you wanted to get away? I am fortunate enough to be able to do that for you. Provide a comfortable vacation. Though I thought it would be a stress-free one," shaking his head. His eyes look more hurt than angry right now and I feel so bad that I caused that but I have a right to my feelings.

"I am an exceptionally wealthy man, Ana. And part of what I do is luxury. A large part of what I do to be exact. How can I promote and get even wealthier from an industry that I have not experienced or refuse to experience? I am here on business, yes I extended that to be able to spend time with you here, relaxing. But essentially the only reason that we are even on the Amalfi coast is because of one of my many businesses. Otherwise we would be relaxing in New York.

"I honestly didn't realize the words I said about being stuck at the hotel would be offending to you. Maybe being pregnant you're a bit more sensitive. I've never had to walk on eggshells to talk to you or discuss something with you and I won't start now.

"I also won't apologize for my wealth or for who I am. It's one of the things about me that you will need to learn to accept. I tend to lavish those I care about… and it's been a long time since I've found someone that I want to be extravagant to, and I won't be made to feel as if I can't because you find it offensive of some such nonsense.

"As for the "men in my life" comment. Hopefully your father and I are the only two men who matter. What our opinions are should matter to you, Ana. There shouldn't be any other men in your life, Ana.

He then motions to my plate as he picks up his fork, "you need to eat. Nugget has to be hungry by now. We can finish discussing this later. Right now I think I need to digest everything you've said and I know you. You'll need time to process what I've said."

With that comment he starts eating his dinner. He doesn't say another word to me throughout but I know he's right. I do need time to process everything he said. If he hadn't shut down the conversation when he did we would have had a huge public argument, something that neither of us want or need.

We ate in silence and once we were done, Gideon offered me his hand and escorted me outside to the waiting car. The only conversation that we have as we drive along the beautiful blue highway of the Amalfi Drive is him warning me that the hotel is a converted monastery, that it is extravagant and luxurious.

The monastery was designed around the nuns who used to reside there and each of the rooms named after an herb that the nuns would have used in medicines that grew in the monastery gardens. He told me we would be staying in the "Citrus Suite".

Getting to the hotel, we found Angus patiently waiting in the lobby. I was amazed at the simplistic elegance of the hotel. The obvious spiritual enchantment of the monastery is ever present evoking a lost time and I am in awe at my surroundings. Gideon tried to prepare me, I think, but no amount of explaining would have prepared me for this. The hotel itself was amazing but the views, even from the lobby, were astounding.

Angus informed Gideon that he and Sawyer checked us in, gave him our room key and provided information as to which Suite he and Sawyer would be staying. Gideon then proceeded to give both men the next few days off to "enjoy yourselves". Angus simply nodded and Gideon took my hand, raising it to his lips and kissing the back of it.

"Come, sweet girl. Let's get settled. I have some calls to make."

Leading me to an elevator hidden behind a door that I would have thought belonged to another room in the lobby. Reaching our room, I gasped at the beauty of the suite. It had been designed with an elegant ambiance and timeless, probably one of a kind, antiques. As I walked from room to room I also noticed the vaulted ceilings and the black and white photographs taken of the monastery before any renovation began and felt humbled that I could be in this very tranquil, private and intimate retreat; that obviously held a world of history.

The next thing that was obvious, the vistas from every room. Even the en suite bath. It seemed almost as if the windows and the terraces where specifically located just to enhance the amazing views. The bedroom, with a bigger than king sized bed – causing me to smile to myself – is covered in fine linens and lead into the en suite. Designed with dark wood and Jerusalem stone with a separate shower and a humongous tub even frames by a window overlooking the gardens, infinity pool and the Gulf of Salerno.

Finding my laptop on the desk in the bedroom as I wander around the suite, taking everything in, I decide that I need to check in with my assistant at SIP. I also need to call Kate and let her know that we arrived safely. I hear Gideon in the dining room, so I decide to go out to the outside terrace dining table to work. It's a beautiful evening here but it should still be mid-morning in Seattle. As I walk outside I am floored with the beauty that encompasses this place. The terrace is covered in Bougainvillea and the lingering scent is beautiful. Again the view is as staggering from here. If not for the deadlines that I told – well promised – Roach I wouldn't miss I would have to wonder just how much work I would get done here.

As I am powering up my laptop, I switch my phone from flight mode. As soon as there is a signal my phone starts buzzing repeatedly. What the hell? I look over and find that there are ten missed phone calls and as many voicemails. Before checking them though I see there are about the same amount of missed text messages. I decide to check the text messages first when I realize that all but one is from Kate. The other is from my mom.

Checking the message from my mom first I am still left wondering. She just says that she would appreciate a phone call. Ok well that can wait for a bit. I didn't tell my parents that I was leaving the country, even if just for a vacation. Hell, admittedly I've been avoiding both mom and Ray since finding out about nugget. I so don't want to disappoint them and I know being an unwed mother without the father is going to hurt both of them so much. But honestly, I'm not ready to tell them and I'm a horrible liar. They would both realize something is wrong and demand answers.

The other text messages are from Kate. The first wishing me a good trip, the second letting me know Christian had stopped by the apartment early this morning and that it didn't end pretty and every subsequent message was a demand for me to call her immediately as soon as I can.

I decide to log into the SIP server to check my emails before calling Kate back and just as I enter the password, my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and its Kate. Well, guess that I'll have to deal with her now instead of after I get some work done.

"Hi, Kate."

"Steele! Finally. Why haven't you called me back?"

Shaking my head, already aggravated, "We just got to the hotel about half an hour ago Kate. I was going to check in with work before calling you back. What's up?"

"Oh my God! You don't know? You haven't seen it yet?"

Confused, "Seen what, Kate?"

"You've been outed. Paps are everywhere at the apartment and have been since this morning after that asshat left."

Ok. Time to get her to actually talk and tell me what she's ranting about. "What are you talking about Kate? Outed? Paps?"

"Ummm… You, Gideon, Christian, Nugget, the paparazzi? Jeez, Steele. It's everywhere. It made the paper, it made the news and has been running all over trash tv!"

What! No! Shit! Shit! Shit! This can't be happening. I feel like all the wind has been knocked out of me. Slowly, cautiously, quietly, I ask, "How?"

"I don't know, Steele. The article isn't bad but it did mention the baby…"

"What!" I screech and just as I do Gideon comes running out to the terrace.

"Darlin, are you ok?" He asks. I look up at him and register nothing but concern written all over his face. But just close my eyes and continue talking with Kate as he stands there watching.

"Look. I sent you a link. Open it and see for yourself. I wanted to let you know. Oh…and before I forget your parents have been calling all day. I can hold them off for a little while longer, but you'll need to call them soon. I've got to run. Remember, we love you and nugget. Bye, sweetheart."

As I am listening to Kate and telling her I'll talk to her soon, I find the email she sent with the link from the Seattle Nooz. Clicking the link, it opens the article and as I read I can only stare at the screen horrified.

_WAR OF THE BILLIONAIRES_

_The nation's two youngest billionaire CEOs caught yelling at each other in front of a Seattle Hospital. What were they yelling about? _

_A woman! A child?! That's right ladies and gentlemen, according to sources Seattle's own Christian Grey and New York's Gideon Cross stood in front of Mercy General Hospital in Seattle Tuesday morning evidently fighting over the love of a woman. And that woman just may be pregnant with one of the billionaires' baby!..._

I couldn't get any further in the article. Tears were clouding my eyes. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Gideon came over and picked me up into his arms and holding me tightly to his hard muscular chest.

Suddenly I hear him growl, "Fuck. Darling don't worry about that shit. I'll take care of it. You don't need this stress."

I look up at him. Tears still in my eyes. "I haven't even told my parents Gideon…."

One of his hands moves to cup my cheek and I press against him. Needing the comfort. Needing this to go away. I'm not ready for this yet.

"Everything's gonna be fine. I've got you. Remember?" He says as he leans down and gives me a gentle kiss.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I nod up at him before burying my head against his chest, safe in his embrace. I take comfort in that statement. It's something that he's promised me from the first time we met and he hasn't let me down yet. I need to hold on to that.

* * *

**CPOV**

We landed in New Jersey about two hours ago. I checked in with Welch and Barney once we were on the ground and Welch is still having problems with the DOT's Aeronautics Dept. for New Jersey. Privacy bull shit and some such nonsense. You would think a man with his capabilities would be able to get the information I requested. But no! No he can't figure it out and fix whatever issue he's having to get me the answers I require.

Barney took it upon himself to see if he could hack into the New Jersey DOT's computers and has been working on that. Accordingly, he says there are more protective firewalls than Fort Knox but that has never stopped him. He just asked for some time to find the right 'back door' as he put it to get the information. He's still trying to track Ana's laptop but as of the last check in it hasn't been turned on.

I haven't left the plane. I don't know where Ana is but I know that Cross isn't in New York. He wouldn't have so smugly told me that he was going on vacation if he was just going back. So I need to make sure that when we get the information we need that the jet is ready and I don't have to wait any longer than necessary to be in the air.

The more that I think about everything. Ana, the baby, I don't know how I could have behaved the way that I did to her. I mean, I still don't think that I will be that great a father but I can at least try.

I'm broken from my thoughts as my phone rings. Grabbing it and answering, "Grey".

"Sir, Barney. We've got the location you requested."

"Where is she?"

"Well sir. The laptop was activated with the SIP authorized access code about 7:00 pm GMT..."

"She's in England?"

"No sir. Salerno, Italy."

Irritated, "Why the fuck didn't you just say that?"

"Same time zone sir."

"Fuck."

I disconnect the call. "Taylor!"

He comes rushing into the office on the plane. "Sir."

"Get Stephen. We are in the air as soon as possible to Salerno."

"Italy, sir?"

"Yes fucking Italy. It's time I get my family back."

Taylor responds with a clipped 'yes sir' but I swore I saw a hint of a smirk on his face as he turned away to do what was needed.


End file.
